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CREDITS SEQUENCE NEWSPAPER HEADLINE MONTAGE: HEADLINES flash before us, displaying their accompanying photographs. "UBERMAN - METRO CITY'S HERO AFTER DEFEATING MASTER MIND! PHOTO: A chiseled, statuesque man wearing the COOLEST SUPER HERO SUIT IMAGINABLE, COMPLETE WITH FLOWING CAPE, shines a confident smile at the lens. This is UBERMAN, champion of METRO CITY. "UBERMAN DEFEATS MASTER MIND'S GIANT ROBOT!" PHOTO: Wide-shot of Uberman in mid-flight lifting the GIANT ROBOT in the sky above the city buildings. "MASTER MIND ALL WET AFTER UBERMAN FOILS AQUARIUM HEIST!" PHOTO: Uberman stands knee-deep in water. He has his enemy by the collar. The villain blocks his face from the shot with a METALLIC GAUNTLET. The images start to flash by even quicker, each showing the MYSTERIOUS VILLAIN in various stages of humiliation. In each photograph he successfully blocks his face with his armored glove. We ZOOM IN to the last headline. "MASTER MIND BEHIND BARS ONCE AGAIN - THANKS TO UBERMAN!" PHOTO: Uberman stands in a gallant pose with his fists on his hips, obviously trying to accentuate the "U" insignia on his chest. END OF CREDITS SEQUENCE EXT. BUILDING - DAY We DISSOLVE from the photograph to Uberman standing in the exact same position. WE PULL BACK showing him atop a BUILDING overlooking the city below. A perfect view for our guardian hero. He watches the thriving metropolis, bristling with life as people happily go about their day. Yet, we can't help but detect a hint of sadness in Uberman's expression. 2. UBERMAN You look so peaceful from up here. His serenity is suddenly interrupted by a loud BEEPING SOUND coming from his wrist. He looks down at a BRACELET (a manly one) on his right arm. It's a silver band with a FLASHING red letter "U". UBERMAN (CONT'D) Looks like Roxanne's in trouble again. Uberman leaps off the building and into the air. His cape gracefully flows in the breeze behind him as he shoots off into the distance like a speeding bullet. EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - ESTABLISHING SHOT Grime and moss decorate the outside of this long abandoned building overlooking the COAST. Once a place of knowledge and wonder - now home to a great evil. INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY The inside is in complete contrast to the exterior. The huge hall with a GIANT TELESCOPE teems with advanced ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT. Computers, monitors and machines which do not have an obvious function FLASH and HUM. A STEEL DOOR slides open, revealing the subject of our story MASTER MIND - a villainous sight to behold. His FACE IS INEXPLICABLY LIGHT BLUE, topped by an OVERSIZED, MUSHROOM- SHAPED HEAD with a CIRCULAR PATCH OF WHITE HAIR ON TOP. He's dressed in the kind of costume only a super villain could pull off: a PURPLE JUMPSUIT AND BLACK BOOT ENSEMBLE WITH A GIANT GREEN "M" ON THE CHEST. His right hand, hanging at his side, is a METAL GAUNTLET WITH THREE SHORT SPIKES PROTRUDING BETWEEN HIS KNUCKLES. Master Mind begins to survey the room with his TWO PERMANENTLY ARCHED EYEBROWS. A man dressed as ALBERT EINSTEIN is busy ranting to two other men. One, a hulking brute, is dressed as LEONARDO DA VINCI. The other, a small intellectual-type carrying a clip-board, is dressed as the philosopher PLATO. EINSTEIN I hate the outfits. I mean, I get it: we're all supposed to be "masterminds" - very clever. (MORE) 3. EINSTEIN(cont'd) I just feel stupid. I mean, what the hell did Einstein really do anyway? PLATO Theory of relativity. Einstein starts feverishly scratching his side. EINSTEIN Well, you'd think he'd invent a wool sweater that didn't itch so much. Da Vinci and Plato's eyes suddenly grow with concern as they see Master Mind walk up behind Einstein. Einstein notices his colleague's staring over his right shoulder and turns around. He turns around and Master Mind SEIZES HIM BY HIS THROAT with his metal gauntlet. MASTER MIND The real Einstein once said, "God does not play dice with the world." He was right, because the world is MY dice. Is that understood? DA VINCI & PLATO Sir! Yes, sir! EINSTEIN (gasping for air) Yes, sir. Master Mind undoes his grip on Einstein's throat. MASTER MIND Alright, then - clean slate. Do we have the girl? DA VINCI Yes, sir. She fell into our trap just like you knew she would. MASTER MIND Reporters are a curious lot, and easily manipulated. He quickly checks his physique in a GIANT MIRROR, adjusts his posture and sucks in his gut. 4. MASTER MIND Alright, let's not keep the lady waiting. MOMENTS LATER Da Vinci escorts a BLINDFOLDED and bound woman, ROXANNE RITCHI, to the back of the room where Plato and Einstein are standing guard over a large BLACK SWIVEL-CHAIR facing away from us. She pulls free of Da Vinci's grasp and waits for him to undo the blindfold. Her face uncovered, we finally see Roxanne's striking features - all of which seem overshadowed by piercing eyes that seem more put off by the situation than afraid of it. MASTER MIND (O.S.) Miss Ritchi, we meet again. The chair turns menacingly slow, finally revealing Master Mind. ROXANNE You didn't need to turn around like that. I can recognize the stench of failure. Master Mind unleashes a wicked laugh. MASTER MIND I trust you gentlemen know the very sassy Roxanne Ritchi, highly regarded investigative journalist who some say has a more than friendly relationship with our super powered foe Uberman. And Miss Ritchi, I trust you've already met my new crew: The Mad Geniuses! Roxanne gives Einstein a once over. ROXANNE Looks like a real group of winners. At the risk of sounding cliche', you'll never get away with this. MASTER MIND In a way, I already have. Roxanne unleashes an exhausted SIGH. 5. ROXANNE We go through this every time. You kidnap me to get to Uberman, he immediately finds your hideout, escapes whatever lame trap you've come up with, and takes you and your cronies to jail. I propose we just save everybody some heartache this time by YOU letting me go, and ME forgetting this whole thing ever happened? MASTER MIND What about my revenge? ROXANNE We can say it was wasting everyone's time. MASTER MIND You have a wicked tongue. I hope you rid yourself of that when you're my queen. Roxanne unleashes a snort-filled laugh. ROXANNE I'm sorry. What makes you think I would want to be your queen? MASTER MIND Power corrupts absolutely, Miss Ritchi. And when I have ultimate power over this city, I have absolutely every intention of corrupting you with it. PLATO Sir! Master Mind turns to Plato who's now standing at a computer terminal. MASTER MIND (annoyed) What is it!? EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman flies toward the Observatory like a rocket. 6. INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman crashes through the wall to the room we were just in. He looks around, but there's suddenly NOT A SOUL IN SIGHT. CUT TO: EXT. MASTER MIND'S HYDROFOIL - DAY The boat is shooting through the ocean, away from the observatory. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY Machines, cables and terminals criss-cross the craft's main bridge. Through the enormous surrounding windows we can see the observatory shrinking in the distance. Master Mind watches Uberman on a small TV monitor as the hero intently searches his hideout. UBERMAN (on monitor) Master Mind! INT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY Uberman throws up his arms in frustration when suddenly - MASTER MIND (O.S.) Over here, old friend. He turns to see a FAMILIAR BLUE FACE OF EVIL ON A GIANT SCREEN. UBERMAN What's the matter, miss your old jail cell? Uberman starts walking toward the monitor. MASTER MIND (ON MONITOR) Actually, I wanted to share the experience with my oldest friend. A MECHANIZED CAGE shoots out of the floor, suddenly trapping Metro City's protector. Totally unfazed, our hero stares on. 7. UBERMAN You can't possibly believe this will work. Master Mind pulls out a SMALL BLACK BOX with a SINGLE RED BUTTON on it. MASTER MIND (ON MONITOR) Oh, can't I? I have attained control of the Earth's most abundant energy source. I doubt even you are strong enough to withstand the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!!! He presses the button. EXT. OUTER SPACE A sinister-looking SATELLITE orbits Earth's atmosphere. Its bay doors suddenly open, deploying two huge SOLAR PANELS. The panels shift, angling themselves in the direction of the sun. They immediately start GLOWING as they absorb the burning star's power. The front of the satellite begins to make a loud HUMMING SOUND as it prepares to unleash its unholy power. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY From the giant window we can see the boat is a good mile from the observatory. PLATO We're now at minimum safe distance, master. Master Mind turns from the CAMERA he was broadcasting on and puts down the control box. MASTER MIND Excellent. Stop here, I like this view. PLATO Twenty seconds until impact. Master Mind turns to Roxanne who is being held by Da Vinci and Einstein. She almost appears a little bored. Disappointed by her lack of horror, he walks over to the monitor now showing Uberman trapped in the cage. 8. MASTER MIND Any last words? Uberman looks up at the screen with a cocky smile. UBERMAN (ON MONITOR) Yes: there's no caging the power of justice. PLATO Ten seconds to impact. On the screen we see Uberman take two of the cage's bars in his hands. He yanks...NOTHING. PLATO (CONT'D) Nine... Master Mind stares at the monitor, slightly confused. PLATO (CONT'D) Eight... Uberman yanks on the bars again, this time using his foot as leverage. MASTER MIND (genuinely concerned) What's going on? UBERMAN (straining) Hold...on...a second. Master Mind looks back at Plato and Einstein. They're equally befuddled at the hero's sudden weakness. PLATO Seven... Uberman loses his grip and FALLS BACKWARD ON HIS ASS. UBERMAN SON OF A BITCH!! Master Mind and the minions all cringe in unison. Da Vinci turns to Roxanne not believing his ears. DA VINCI What did he just say? 9. PLATO Six......Five... Master Mind begins to laugh. MASTER MIND What kind of trick is this? Uberman looks up at the camera with a very grave expression. UBERMAN Like you don't know. These bars are made of copper, aren't they? PLATO Four... MASTER MIND Yeah, so? Uberman tries to shield his grief with his hand. UBERMAN You figured out my weakness, damn you. I CAN'T BEND COPPER! PLATO Three... MASTER MIND Your weakness is copper? PLATO Two...one. Everyone turns to the window. EXT. OUTER SPACE The satellite fires a giant BEAM OF LIGHT toward the earth. EXT. OBSERVATORY HIDEOUT - DAY The beam hits the observatory. The building instantly EXPLODES in a white nova blast of fire. INT. HYDROFOIL CONTROL ROOM - DAY The blast is so bright everyone turns away from the window. Then, as suddenly as it began, the awesome light dies out. One by one, the passengers unshield their eyes and look out toward the observatory. 10. All we can see through the haze of destruction is fire and smoke. PLATO I don't think even he could have survived that. Einstein suddenly turns giddy with excitement. EINSTEIN Whoa! Is it me or did you just finally destroy Uberman? MASTER MIND (carefully skeptical) Well...let's not get ahead of ourselves. Da Vinci suddenly sees something outside. DA VINCI Look, there's something in the sky, coming this way. ROXANNE Uberman! Master Mind turns toward the window. An object is in the air, flying directly toward them. As it closes in we can just make out the FAMILIAR OUTLINE OF A CAPPED FIGURE. MASTER MIND I KNEW IT! PREPARE YOURSELVES! HE'S GONNA RAM US!!! Everyone scatters and braces themselves for the impact. Master Mind, seeing all the good places taken, doesn't know what to do with himself. He just covers his giant head with his hands. The figure CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW and lands at his feet. He looks down to see a CHARRED BLACK HUMAN SKELETON. Around its neck is the unmistakable black cape of Uberman. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (horrified) HOLY SHIT! 11. Roxanne breaks out of Da Vinci's hold and runs over to the body. ROXANNE Uberman? She stares down at the still smoking corpse, the tattered black cape with the yellow "U" on it. Roxanne turns to Master Mind, who's still visibly dumbfounded at the grotesque sight before him. ROXANNE (CONT'D) You killed him! Roxanne's eyes roll back. Da Vinci catches her from behind as she FAINTS. Einstein turns to Master Mind, looking at him as if he's just walked on water. EINSTEIN You did it! Now that he's committed the impossible - our villain is at a complete loss. MASTER MIND ...so I did. EINSTEIN I mean, I know you always wanted to. I mean, all the schemes all the plots - I never thought you'd actually be capable of it. Giddy as a school girl, Einstein turns to his fellow henchmen. EINSTEIN This is history. Every villain and lackey in the history of villains and lackeys dream of this moment, but when does it actually EVER happen? A sudden realization comes over his face. EINSTEIN Good lord...You do all realize what we get to do now, don't you? 12. His question is met with acquisitive looks from Master Mind and the others. EINSTEIN We get to go on a crime wave. CRIME WAVE MONTAGE - SET TO "Fun Fun Fun" by The Beach Boys. SPINNING HEADLINE: "UBERMAN'S DEATH IGNITES CITY WIDE CRIME WAVE!" ARMORED TRUCK It's driving along when the men inside suddenly notice something - THEY'RE FLYING HIGH ABOVE THE CITY STREETS. We PULL BACK to see the truck being carried by a giant claw at the bottom of a BRAIN COPTER. Inside the cockpit Master Mind and his henchmen laugh maniacally. SPINNING HEADLINE: "CHAMPION-LESS CITY AT THE MERCY OF HOOLIGANS." METRO CITY BANK Da Vinci and Einstein run out the front of the bank holding BAGS OF MONEY. Two beat officers see them and take chase after them around the corner and into an alley. After a moment the police reemerge from the alley screaming and running for their lives as a GIANT ROBOT CHASES after them. The robot stops, then suddenly it's head opens up like convertible car top with Master Mind and Plato at the driver's wheel. They smile and shake hands at a bad deed well done. SPINNING HEADLINE: "MASTER MIND BLACKMAILS METRO!!!" A VICIOUS TORNADO It's heading for downtown Metro as Master Mind and the lackeys coolly look on. Three large DUMP TRUCKS pull up, filled to the brim with bricks of CASH. 13. The DRIVERS jump out as the lackeys take the driver seats in the three trucks. Master Mind is about to climb into the passenger seat of one when a drivers taps him on the shoulder and motions toward the tornado. MASTER MIND (absentmindedly) Oh, right. Master Mind pulls a television REMOTE from his pocket and aims it at approaching windstorm of death. He presses the button marked "Tornado Off." The tornado shrinks and disappears just before it hits the city. As they drive through the city streets, Master stares out the window with a hint of something in his eyes. Is it melancholy? END OF MONTAGE EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY It's Metro City's premier bowling alley. On top of the neon lit building is a GIANT 30 FOOT TALL CEMENT BOWLING BALL. INT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY HAL STEWART (early 30's) takes careful aim with his BOWLING BALL. HAL It's a sport of honor, focus and grace. Honor the ball, focus on the pins, release the ball not hard and fast, but as if you were releasing a baby dove. He takes a step, pulls back his arm, and releases the ball, following it with his eyes. It's a horrible shot - INSTANT GUTTER BALL. An aged barmaid type with a cigarette hanging from her mouth looks over at him. HAL Okay, do something like that - but center it more. 14. She picks up her custom made FOGHAT BALL and takes aim. ATTRACTIVE BLOND Tell me how my form looks, honey. Hal focuses on the misshapen bumps of her enormous Johnson administration era derriere. HAL Oh, it's lookin' good. It's lookin' REAL good. It doesn't get anymore clear. This man is a pig. VINNIE (O.S.) Hal, I want to see you in my office! Hal turns to see VINNIE, owner of the bowling alley, calling him. VINNIE Now! INT. KINGPIN BOWLING - VINNIE'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER Hal sits down, facing Vinnie who's sitting at his desk. VINNIE You're fired. Leave your shirt and locker key. This bit of news hits Hal like a freight train. HAL Fired? Are you going to tell me why? VINNIE Showing up to work late. Showing up to work late drunk. Sexually harassing customers. Stealing from the register. HAL Vinnie, I don't know where you're getting these accusations - Vinnie takes out a video tape from his desk drawer and puts in a VCR. 15. HAL Oh, which one do you supposedly have here? VINNIE This is all of them at once. TELEVISION A WOMAN walks up to a BOWLING EMPLOYEE and hands him a pair of shoes. As the employee turns to the wall of shoes, a very drunk and disheveled Hal comes running in and pushes him aside. HAL I've got this one, Benny. So, Cinderella. Can I help you find your glass slipper? WOMAN Yeah, I'm looking for a seven. He folds his arms on the counter and leans into her with a cat-like grin on his face. HAL (with a leer) Seven - Well, maybe I could interest you in something in an EIGHT. Namely, me. Disgusted, she walks off screen. HAL Lesbo. Suddenly realizing the register's open, he quickly grabs a stack of cash and shoves it in his pocket. BACK TO OFFICE Vinnie turns off the television and waits for Hal to respond. HAL From the angle of the camera, I can see where you might have gotten the wrong idea. Listen, Vinnie, I don't think you've thought this through. If you fire me, who's gonna be captain of the alley's bowling team? 16. VINNIE Um, I don't know. Maybe somebody who can actually bowl. You guys have never won a game. I hired you because you said you were on the pro circuit. HAL No, I said I WILL BE on the pro circuit. VINNIE Please, a loser like you will never amount to anything. This harsh remark seems to leave Hal genuinely stunned. HAL Wow...If that's how you feel...I guess we should then talk about what kind of severance I'm gonna get. EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY TWO BRUISERS open the door and throw Hal out onto the street. He quickly picks himself up and turns back toward the building. HAL Hey...what about my ball? A bowling ball sails past him, just missing his head. HAL Thank-you! EXT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - DAY The massive building with a giant 7 on the roof stands in the heart of Metro City. INT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - OFFICE - DAY The cubicles and offices are alive with the hustle and bustle of a busy news day. Phones are RINGING, REPORTERS are TALKING, and Editors are SHOUTING. The elevator doors open and out steps Roxanne Ritchi. 17. Everything stops as the entire office suddenly falls SILENT. Somewhat taken aback by the reaction, Roxanne scans the room to see every eye on her. ROXANNE It's...um...It's good to be back. Thanks for everyone's cards and concerns. I really appreciated it - now I'm ready to climb back on the horse. No one is budging - their looks of pity are really starting to make her uncomfortable. The back office door suddenly opens and out comes FRANK BONIN, the gruff, middle-aged Producer of Channel 7 News. Noticing the silence, he looks up and sees the sad expressions on everybody's face. FRANK Someone die or something? He suddenly notices Roxanne - both feet are placed firmly in his mouth. FRANK (cursing himself) Oh, Jesus. ROXANNE It's okay. Frank quickly walks up to Roxanne and takes her gently by the arm. FRANK Come on into my office, sweetie. INT. CHANNEL 7 NEWS BUILDING - FRANK'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS He sits her down on his leather couch, then quickly turns toward his door. FRANK Can we get this woman some water for God's sake? (to Rebecca) I gave you two months off. What're you doing back? People are gonna think I'm a slave driver. 18. ROXANNE Aren't you? FRANK Yeah, but I don't want people to think it. ROXANNE Frank, listen. I want to go back to work. I NEED to go back to work. FRANK ...You're hysterical, aren't you? Frank sits down on the couch and blankets Roxanne with A WARM EMBRACE. ROXANNE What're you doing? FRANK Keeping you warm before you go into shock. (toward the open door) DO I HAVE SLICE OPEN A CAMEL HUMP TO GET A GLASS OF WATER AROUND HERE? A SECRETARY quickly enters with a bottled water. She sets it on the table in front of them and leaves. Roxanne pulls herself out of Frank's grasp and stands up to face him. ROXANNE It was a traumatic experience. Yes, everyone knows Uberman and me were...close. But what I really need - what would really make me better is getting back to work. There's a sudden awkward silence from Frank. FRANK Well, that's going to be... ROXANNE I thought you'd be happy to have me back. 19. FRANK Oh, we are. Honey, nothing makes us happier than to have our girl back, but... ROXANNE Yes? FRANK Things have sorta...changed. ROXANNE In three weeks? FRANK Listen, I'm not one who likes to open up wounds - especially ones that are just starting to scab, but you were sorta our go to girl for the exclusive on Uberman. And now that he's gone...I moved Brad into your anchor spot. ROXANNE (disgusted) Brad? Brad Helms? The man is an idiot. FRANK It's the suits. They think it's time to switch things up. ROXANNE Oh, because they can't use me to get the big story. FRANK C'mon, Roxie. Using is in the nature of what we do. They used you, you used Uberman. Everybody's happy. ROXANNE (defensive) I didn't use him. FRANK Oh, I didn't mean that. I know you two were in love or something. My bad. ROXANNE We were. 20. FRANK And that's great. ROXANNE Very in love. There's a hind of self-doubt in Roxanne's expression, as if she's failed to convince even herself of this. ROXANNE Okay. So, where are they going to move me if Brad has my spot? FRANK ...Human interest. ROXANNE Bake sales and pet stories. FRANK I told them I wouldn't be surprised if you just upped and quit. You busted your ass for that desk. Roxanne can hardly get it out - she's busy swallowing her pride ROXANNE I'll take it. Frank looks up at her, not believing what he's hearing. FRANK What? EXT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Amongst the jungle of high rises, one small building stands out from the rest - A tiny, forgotten piece of 19th century Gothic architecture. LIGHTENING FLASHES, revealing TWO CONCRETE GARGOYLES holding a cracked plaque, reading: METRO CITY LIBRARY. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT A mixture of old and new. Dusty Victorian furniture and dilapidated bookshelves sit side by side with pristinely futuristic machinery. The building has been converted into Master Mind's new SECRET LAIR. 21. In the center of the main room is a three storey tall GLOWING BLUE ORB. At the base of it is a sign that reads "Reactor - Don't Touch." We PAN OVER to the READING ROOM where Master Mind is sitting on a couch watching TELEVISION. REPORTER ON TELEVISION (O.S.) It's been nearly six weeks, and still no word on the whereabouts of billionaire playboy, and philanthropist, Wayne Scott. Tune in at 11:00 as we look into what has become Metro City's biggest mystery. TELEVISION NARRATOR (O.S.) We now return to "The Hero of our Hearts: The Uberman story." Einstein and Plato come into the room holding a BAG OF LOOT. EINSTEIN Just robbed the diamond exchange. MASTER MIND (feigning pleasure) Great, great. Put it on the pile. Einstein tosses it on a LARGE PILE of purloined valuables in the corner of the room. EINSTEIN Anything else today? MASTER MIND No. Master Mind turns his attention back to the screen. Plato sees that Master Mind is in a funk and tries to snap him out of it. PLATO (cheerfully) Sir, the new reactor is installed. Plato nods to the giant orb. PLATO Do you want to throw the switch? I know how you love to start reactors. 22. MASTER MIND Maybe later. Einstein gives Master Mind a funny look then exchanges glances with Plato before leaving the two of them alone. Without turning away from the TV, Master Mind addresses Plato. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What is it, Plato? PLATO (nervously) Sir, I can't help but notice that you've been...a little down lately. MASTER MIND When I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you. PLATO Yes, sir, I know, but please forgive my impertinence. It's just that you seem to have lost your lust for our profession. You've stopped going on jobs and spend most of your time watching Uberman specials. Master Mind relaxes slightly and turns to face the window in a classically contemplative pose. After an overdramatic beat... MASTER MIND I have defeated my greatest enemy. I have free reign over Metro City. I have more wealth than a thousand Sultans. I've achieved all I have worked for...so why am I so unhappy? He walks over to a PAINTED PORTRAIT that looks almost exactly like him, except slightly older, maybe meaner - MASTER MIND'S FATHER. MASTER MIND I mean, my father, god rest his evil and tormented soul, raised me straight from the test tube to be a symbol of evil. (MORE) 23. MASTER MIND(cont'd) And, I have accomplished something he had only dreamed about - the destruction of Metro City's champion. I tell you, I've always lived with this unquenchable thirst. I thought it was to make him proud or to get absolute power. But now that I've pretty much accomplished both, I am at a loss. PLATO ...I sort of have a theory about all that. MASTER MIND (snippy) Oh, really? PLATO Well, for one thing, maybe Uberman was more important to you than you thought. MASTER MIND He was a worthy rival. Sometimes I wonder, did he consider me his evil equal or was I just an annoying, little gnat to him? ...What's the second part? PLATO I think you sort of have a thing for Roxanne Ritchi. Master Mind quickly takes his lackey by the throat. MASTER MIND YOU WORM! HOW DARE YOU! WHERE WOULD YOU GET SUCH A NOTION? PLATO Sir, your plans always involve Ms. Ritchi either being kidnapped or placed in danger. If that's not love, I don't know what is. It's the grown up equivalent of dipping her pigtails in the ink well. Don't you see? She's the one treasure that's always escaped you. From Master Mind's expression, we see Plato's words beginning to ring true. 24. INT. RESTURAUNT - DAY Roxanne is having lunch with several girlfriends sitting around her, gabbing. FRIEND #1 I can't believe you came back so soon. FRIEND #2 Are you sure it's not TOO SOON, honey? ROXANNE I just wanted to get back to work. FRIEND #3 What we need to do is get you back on the saddle...the love saddle. Friend 1 and 2 give 3 disapproving looks. FRIEND #3 It's been three weeks. FRIEND #2 She just lost the love of her life, Grace. A WAITER comes by with a tray of CAESAR SALADS and begins setting them out for the ladies. ROXANNE I keep trying to tell people it wasn't really like that. Uberman and I - We were kinda having problems. We broke up. The waiter ALMOST DROPS HIS TRAY AT THIS. The women are too shocked by Roxanne's revelation to notice. FRIEND #1 You broke up with Uberman! FRIEND #3 You must have REALLY, REALLY high standards. I mean, you were dating a god. I mean, what's it take? ROXANNE Maybe someone who's a little more aware of his faults. Someone a little more sensitive. 25. FRIEND #3 Right. Someone who listens, sexy but attainable with cute little cheeks like a hamster and heartbreak in his eyes. She turns to Friend one and two to explain. FRIEND #3 She wants John Cusack. FRIEND #2 The actor? FRIEND #3 No, the famous pediatrist - Yes, the actor. Ever since we were teenagers, Roxanne's totally had the hots for him. ROXANNE Well, until he miraculously comes walking into my life, I'm just going to take a little reflection time for myself. The waiter gets a confused look on his face then slips away as Roxanne and her friends continue to chat away. EXT. RESTURAUNT - DAY The waiter tosses his apron in a trash can, then rolls up his sleeve and presses A STRANGE LOOKING DEVICE STRAPPED TO HIS WRIST. His image gets staticy, like a TV station going out, then disappears - revealing the man's true form underneath: MASTER MIND! MASTER MIND Who the hell is John Cusack? EXT. CITY STREET - DAY A YOUNG MOTHER pushes her baby stroller past a building construction site. ACROSS THE STREET A local POLITICIAN addresses a group of REPORTERS on the sidewalk, including Roxanne. 26. POLITICIAN The Fifth Avenue Renovation Project, which I championed, will breath new life into the downtown area. New life means new jobs and new revenue. ROXANNE Councilman, is it true that your brother-in-law's construction company won the contract for this project? POLITICIAN Well...er...yes, but...look I'm not here to answer a lot of crazy questions... YOUNG MOTHER The young mother stops halfway down the block, reaches into the stroller and tries to comfort her now crying baby. Above her, a CRANE is maneuvering a pile of STEEL GIRDERS to an upper floor. Hal comes around the corner and heads in her direction. CRANE The crane GRINDS TO A HALT. The OPERATOR has a confused look on his face as he moves levers back and forth in an effort to fix the problem. Hal stops a few feet from the woman and stoops down to tie his shoe. CRANE The operator's hand slips off the lever, hitting a RED BUTTON. To his horror the crane DROPS ITS LOAD OF STEEL. HAL AND THE WOMAN The woman looks up to see the girders seconds from crushing her and her baby. She screams. Hal looks up and sees it as well. He starts to run out of the way and crashes into the woman and stroller. ACROSS THE STREET 27. The reporters turns their cameras just in time to catch on film what appears to be Hal pushing the woman to safety just as the GIRDERS CRASH TO THE GROUND. HAL AND MOTHER Tears of joy in her eyes, the woman picks up her baby and kisses it. Hal struggles to catch his breath as the mother turns to him. YOUNG MOTHER Thank you! Thank you for saving me and my baby! She hugs him with her free arm, weeping with joy. HAL (not knowing what she's talking about) Huh? He's a little uncomfortable with the woman's public display of affection and the small child in-between their embrace. HAL (CONT'D) There, there. Hal slowly eases out of the woman's grip. HAL (CONT'D) Okay, we better...well, I hear these little guys smother easy. The reporters rush over and surround Hal and the mother. ROXANNE What's it feel like to be a hero? Hal looks up at Roxanne. Instantly, he's captivated by her beauty. HAL Well...I'm just a man doing what men do. You're Roxanne Ritchi, aren't you? They're suddenly interrupted when another reporter pushes his way in between them. REPORTER Were you scared? 28. HAL Scared? Who had time? The reporters eat this up. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT TELEVISION John Cusack stands in the rain looking up at a window of a two story house. He holds up a BOOMBOX and "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel begins to play. From the couch, Master Mind and his minions watch. MASTER MIND John Cusack, huh? So all I have to do is have a cute puppy dog stare, be willing to make a fool of myself and - Oh, REMOVE BOTH MY BALLS. He turns to see Da Vinci watching the movie and wiping a tear from his cheek. MASTER MIND Please, get a hold of yourself. INT. BOOKSTORE - NIGHT Roxanne is carrying a large paper coffee cup in her hands as she peruses the isles. She sets it down on a shelf to pull a book out and ends up KNOCKING THE DRINK OVER. ROXANNE Shit. She goes to pick it up when someone bends down and picks it up for her. Looking up to thank him, Roxanne is suddenly stunned speechless - It's popular and critically acclaimed actor JOHN CUSACK, or rather Master Mind disguised as him. "JOHN CUSACK" Oh the humanity - it was a Venti. ROXANNE (stunned) You're...you're. "JOHN CUSACK" Yes, it's me. John Cusack...the actor. 29. He notices the book she's reading. "JOHN CUSACK" Hey, is that Shelly? Wait, I think remember something from that one - Let's see: "My head is screaming `I want you and need you' - my heart it keeps reaching to see you and feel you - yet in the end, I'm alone once again." Wow, I scare even myself. I'm sorry. I'm just really into poetry. Probably because I'm so sensitive and always going to great lengths to express myself. But enough about me. Can I fill you up? ROXANNE (captivated) ...Yes. (catching herself) I mean, excuse me? "JOHN CUSACK" Can I fill you up? Your coffee. ROXANNE Right. INT. BOOKSTORE CAFE' - LATER Roxanne talks as John Cusack listens to her every word intently. ROXANNE I did have a boyfriend - until fairly recently. She suddenly begins to feel the stares around her as passers- by being to notice who she's with. ROXANNE I'm sorry - this is so surreal! "JOHN CUSACK" Yeah, they charge way too much at these places - Now back to your boyfriend. I'm interested and compassionate. I want to know about you. 30. ROXANNE Things were complicated. He was a man married to his work. There was...there was a lot of competition in his line of business. I'm sure you know what that's like. "JOHN CUSACK" Sure. In my business, one thing I have is RIVALS. For example, mine is...uh...Lou Ferr...igno. ROXANNE ...The body-builder who used to play The Hulk on TV? "JOHN CUSACK" Did he? Well, we're always up for the same roles. Did your boyfriend have someone like that? A particular rival that was always getting his goat - so to speak? ROXANNE Well...one rival in particular seemed to get more of his attention than I ever did. But enough about my problems. "JOHN CUSACK" NO, TELL ME MORE!!! Suddenly realizing his outburst, he begins COUGHING to mask it. "JOHN CUSACK" (CONT'D) I'm sorry. I got a whooping cough. Had it ever since Serendipity. I WONDER WHERE OUR REFILLS ARE!!! (fakes cough) See, there it goes again. Please, go on. ROXANNE Right, well, he seemed to need him more than he needed me. "JOHN CUSACK" How do you mean? 31. ROXANNE It was conflict he thrived on. He always said he wouldn't know what to do with himself if Master - I mean, this guy were gone. It was like he needed it, like oxygen. The answer to his mental funk hits him like a bolt of lightening. He turns away from her as if for private time. "JOHN CUSACK" (almost to himself) I think I finally understand...The only logical answer is to recreate that rivalry - or if that's impossible, create one of equal structure. That's it! ROXANNE What? John Cusack snaps out of his dream-like haze realizing she's heard every word. "JOHN CUSACK" Oh, sorry, sorry. Just rehearsing for a part...where I play a man who talks to himself at inappropriate times. In a sudden rush, he rises out of his chair. "JOHN CUSACK" I have to go right now, but I'd really like to see you again - if that's alright. Roxanne looks up at him - She can't help but laugh at the craziness of the situation. ROXANNE I'd love that. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master storms in the office to find Plato and Einstein playing darts with the original Mona Lisa. EINSTEIN Got her nose! MASTER MIND I've got it! 32. Everyone stops what they're doing upon seeing that their master has returned. MASTER MIND I've got it! MASTER MIND It's plain and simple. Extraordinary minds need extraordinary stimulation. Without that stimulus they wither and die. Therefore, there is only one logical conclusion: I must create a new superhero. EINSTEIN Yeah, maybe that's not such hot idea... MASTER MIND (ignoring him) Prepare for Operation Superhero Genesis! INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY The lab is slick, white and ultra modern. Dressed in a lab coat, Master Mind enters through a SLIDING GLASS DOOR rubbing his hands excitedly. MASTER MIND Prepare the subject. He glances down into a large HOLE in the floor to see a naked thirty year old man, SEVERS, shivering. Above the hole, a huge vat dangles precariously. Master Mind steps behind a glass partition next to Plato and Einstein. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Plato, pour the toxic waste. Plato throws a switch causing the vat to tip hundreds of gallons of green and brown goo into the hole. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Drainage. The slime is sucked out through the floor, leaving a goo- soaked Severs. 33. Master Mind looks into the pit. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Well, Severs? SEVERS I feel fine. Just a little sticky, but aside from that everything's completely - BOOM - Severs explodes. A hail of blood and tissue covers Master Mind and his men. For a good ten seconds nobody moves an inch. Finally... MASTER MIND Okay then. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY Through a glass WATER TANK we see a man breathing normally. MASTER MIND And this one? PLATO We attached gills to him. He can breath under water. MASTER MIND Ah. Does he have extraordinary strength? PLATO Well...no. MASTER MIND Can he fly? PLATO No. MASTER MIND Resilient to weapons fire? PLATO No. MASTER MIND He just breathes under water, then. PLATO Ah...yeah. 34. Master Mind rolls his eyes and walks away. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - LABORATORY - DAY The next guinea-pig, STENWICK, is standing in a sealed glass tube not much wider than himself. MASTER MIND Plato, the radioactive spider, please. Plato throws the switch DROPPING A SINGLE SPIDER onto Stenwick's arm. Stenwick looks and winces as it bites him. STENWICK Ow! He brushes the spider off. MASTER MIND Anything, Stenwick? STENWICK (shaken) No. Ah...sir, I didn't know this was about spiders. I have a pretty severe case of arachnophobia. Master Mind thinks for a moment, then turns to Plato. MASTER MIND We're gonna need more venom. Plato throws another switch, this time DUMPING THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS on poor Stenwick. His SCREAMS begin to fade as he's engulfed with swarms of crawling arachnids. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) How `bout now, Stenwick? ....Stenwick? INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - OFFICE - DAY Master Mind is pacing back and forth. The muted TV plays in the background. MASTER MIND This has proven to be a challenge. I just don't know what I want. What do I want? 35. He stares at Einstein, Da Vinci and Plato, but they offer no advice. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I want a man of moral fiber with a strong sense of right and wrong. Someone who doesn't seek power - instead, they must have it thrust upon them and find, within themselves, the courage to rise to the occasion. Einstein lets out a short laugh, getting everyone's attention. EINSTEIN Yeah, well, it sounds like what you want is Uberman. Master Mind snaps the fingers of his non-metal hand. MASTER MIND That's it! Why make a copy when the real thing will do? The lackeys look at each other, they can't believe what they're hearing. EINSTEIN I was just kidding, sir. In case you forgot, you actually burned Uberman alive. MASTER MIND Then we'll make a new one. Plato, bring me the box! MINUTES LATER Master Mind and the lackeys stand in a circle around a small table. Plato places a STAINLESS STEEL CHEST in the tables center. As Master Mind opens it, he's immediately doused in WHITE GLOW emanating from inside. MASTER MIND Behold - Uberessence. The very thing that gave Uberman his superhuman powers. 36. EINSTEIN Where the hell did you get that? MASTER MIND Oh, I shot him with a power sucking gun and had this idea to use this to clone a whole army of evil Ubermen. I'm not sure why I never got around to following up with that. PLATO I believe he defeated you before you could, master. MASTER MIND ...Right. Man, he was good! DA VINCI You want another volunteer, sir? MASTER MIND Not another volunteer driven by the need for personal gain. Somebody else, somebody pure. Master Mind turns to see an INTERVIEW WITH HAL playing on the muted television. Underneath his face is a blue caption with white lettering that reads: "Hal Stewart - Metro City's Newest Hero?" NEWS REPORTER ...who risked his own life to save that of a young mother and her child. HAL Please, please, you're embarrassing me. I saw someone in need and I helped them. What more can we ask of ourselves. I ask you, what more? A smile creeps across the evil one's face. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Somebody like him! EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Plato is sitting in the van, staring into a pair of binoculars as he speaks on a cellphone. 37. PLATO Yeah, sir. This guy is a real piece of work. He used to teach bowling at Kingpin's. INT. MASTER MIND'S HIDEOUT - DAY Master Mind is sitting with his feet up on a computer console as he speaks to Plato. MASTER MIND (into phone) A modest profession to brilliantly hide his true heroic nature. I love it. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY PLATO Then you are absolutely going to love this - We follow Plato's line of sight across the street where we see HAL PLAYING WITH A LARGE GROUP OF BLIND CHILDREN. PLATO - He volunteers at a school for the blind. INT. MASTER MIND'S HIDEOUT - DAY Intrigued, he suddenly sits up in his chair. MASTER MIND He volunteers. He doesn't ask for any reward for his deeds. The fates are shining down on me. This Mr. Stewart is truly an unselfish soul. EXT. BLIND SCHOOL - DAY From a distance, Hal seems to be consoling an upset child who's sitting on a rock. But up close... HAL You greedy little bastard. I already gave you a twenty. BLIND KID Hey, you want me to play along? Then pay up, bitch! 38. HAL Fine, but you better be convincing. He gives the kid a bill out of his wallet and looks over his shoulder to see a HOT TEACHER walking toward them. HAL Here she comes, go to work. Like a miniature Brando, the blind kid buries his face in his hands and begins to cry. BLIND KID (weeping) Why can't I see! Why God? Hal puts a warm consoling hand on the weeping boy's shoulder. HAL Hey, Peter. C'mon champ, let me look at you. The Hot Teacher stops and curiously watches from a distance. The boy looks up at Hal, tears running down his dark sunglasses - he should get an Oscar. HAL You know, in life we're all given no more than we can bear. This happened to you maybe because you were meant to rise above it - Maybe to be an inspiration to the other little Peteys out there. BLIND KID You really think so, Hal? HAL Hey, does it LOOK like I'm lying? Now c'mon, go feel your way to class before you get your little butt suspended. The boy stands up and is about to take off. HAL Petey, wait a minute. Hal uses his shirt sleeve to wipe the tears away from the boy's face before sending him on his way. 39. The Hot Teacher grabs her chest. Her heart is about to absolutely melt. HAL Don't run into anything! EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS Plato lowers his binoculars. From his perspective, Hal should be next in line for popehood. PLATO I think I've seen enough, sir. This is your guy. MASTER MIND (O.S.) (over radio) Then return to base. We have much work to do. Plato starts up the van and pulls away. INT. BAR - DAY It's a busy night. A couple of trucker types are shooting pool as the bartender slings drinks. Hal is nursing a beer at the bar when he suddenly notices a very ATTRACTIVE WOMAN sitting next to him. As he goes to straighten his stool-posture, Hal suddenly catches himself on the bar's TELEVISION - it's a story about how he saved the woman and her baby at the construction site. He turns back to the Attractive Woman next to him, then back to the TV. A plan of attack is forming. HAL (obviously playing it up for the woman's benefit) Oh, there it is again. This is really getting embarrassing now. The woman looks up at the screen and gives Hal a double-take. ATTRACTIVE WOMAN Oh my God! It's you! You're the man who saved that woman and her baby the other day! It is you, isn't it? TRUCKER #1, getting a drink at the bar next to them, OVERHEARS. 40. Hal rolls his eyes and puts his hands up in the air. HAL (to Attractive Woman) Oh, crap. You got me. TRUCKER#1 taps Hal on the shoulder. TRUCKER#1 Let me tell you something. That was just about the bravest damn thing I've ever witnessed. (he turns to the rest of the bar) Hey, everybody! This guy's the hero from TV! The bar ERUPTS IN CHEERS. MOMENTS LATER Hal is riding on the shoulders of TRUCKER#2 and TRUCKER#3 as `I'm Holding Out For A Hero' plays on the jukebox. TRUCKER#1 suddenly puts his hands in the air. The room quickly goes silent. TRUCKER#1 I want to give you something. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a medal. He holds it up in the air for everyone to see. TRUCKER#1 (CONT'D) Lost my whole platoon. They were a lot a good boys, a lot of good boys. That was just the way things were in "The Grenada." I'd rather a real hero have this. Trucker#1 gives the medal to a speechless Hal. ATTRACTIVE WOMAN Hey, you're on TV again. The crowd looks up at the Television. TELEVISION - CONTINUOUS The anchor man, BRAD HELMS (early 40's, amazing mustache), suddenly has a memo passed to him. 41. BRAD HELMS This just in. Upon a second look at that tape from this morning, which we'll now replay for you, it appears it was not the heroic act it first seemed to be. The tape shows Hal running in slow motion. BRAD HELMS (O.S.) (CONT'D) With the tape slowed down you can actually see the man push the woman and her child out of the way in an effort to save his own life. The tape shows Hal, in a clear act of self-preservation, pushing the woman and child out of the way. CUT BACK TO: INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS In unison, everyone turns their heads back to Hal. HAL I guess that looks kinda bad. Trucker#1 snatches his medal back. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT Master Mind, Da Vinci and Plato look down, spotting Hal cutting through a dark alley. DA VINCI There he is, boss. Da Vinci hands Master Mind a fantastic looking silver rifle. MASTER MIND Now, we're sure this won't kill him? PLATO Yes, sir. He'll just feel a slight electrical shock. MASTER MIND Good. Master Mind raises the rifle and aims it at Hal. 42. EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT Hal wipes the blood from his nose with his shirtsleeve. A LIGHTENING BOLT suddenly zaps Hal in the back. His teeth spark and arc electrons as his entire body shakes and shudders violently. He finally collapses, knocking over a row of garbage cans. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT An angry Master Mind slaps Plato. MASTER MIND Slight electrical shock? EXT. ALLEY - NIGHT Hal lies flat on his back, his jacket smoldering. Dazed, he slowly rises to his feet and looks up at the sky. HAL God, I hate the weather in this city. Hal walks off into the night as he attempts to slap the emitting smoke from his jacket. EXT. NEARBY ROOF - NIGHT Master Mind turns to Da Vinci. MASTER MIND Follow him. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT It's a dirty, small studio. Laundry lies everywhere, dishes are piled in the sink and the litter box looks like a minefield. Hal comes staggering in. Through his POV we see the lights wobble and streak like a hallucination. He shakes his head trying to clear thing up, but it looks worse. Hal makes his way to the kitchen table and plops down on a chair. The room begins to swim. His CAT jumps on the table and sits down in front of him. 43. From Hal's POV the cat's face looks like we're seeing it through a kaleidoscope. Hal seems fascinated by it. CAT You don't look so good, man. HAL I don't feel good. I was struck by freaking lightening. Suddenly Hal realizes his cat's talking to him. HAL (CONT'D) AAAAAAHHHHH! You can talk? CAT No, you're just hallucinating. By the way, we're out of orange juice. HAL AAAAAAHHHHH! Hal jumps up, trips over a cardboard box and knocks himself out on the coffee table. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - MORNING Hal lies in the same position we left him last night. He sits up and grabs his head. He looks like he has the worst hangover in the world. Finally, he remembers last night. He looks around, but not really sure what he's looking for. HAL Man... Shaking his head, he walks to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. He pulls out an orange juice container and puts it to his mouth. It's empty. As if suddenly remembering something he looks from the carton to the cat, who is busy cleaning himself. He shakes the thought from his mind. BATHROOM Hal lifts the seat and unbuckles his pants. 44. HAL'S FACE He stares at the ceiling with half closed eyes. The inevitable sound of urine hitting water starts. A content look washes over his face. There is a distinct sound of porcelain CRACKING and SPLINTERING. The sound intensifies. Hal looks down to see his URINE STREAM SMASHING THE TOILET. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He whips his stream away only to cut a LONG RIP IN THE WALL. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He freaks out and begins to lose control of his flow as it destroys everything he accidently aims at; the bathroom mirror, a bottle of cheap cologne, the bathroom window. HAL (CONT'D) Oh, God! He aims back for the toilet, which is pretty much rubble now, to see the floor give way. Finally, the pee stops and he glances down the hole. He sees his downstairs NEIGHBOR sitting at his breakfast table. He has a fork halfway to his mouth as he stares at the smashed toilet on his pancakes. EXT. STREET - DAY Hal turns the corner to see his bus pulling away from the stop. HAL Wait! He starts running after it. ZOOM - HE TAKES OFF LIKE LIGHTENING. HAL (CONT'D) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Unable to stop, he SLAMS INTO THE BACK OF THE BUS and falls back to the ground. 45. As the bus continues on he sees an INDENTATION of his torso right below the rear window. Stunned, to say the least, he rises to his feet. HAL (CONT'D) Something's not right here. He slaps himself in the face as hard as he can. HAL (CONT'D) Wake up! Wake up, Hal! HONK! Hal spins around to see a car barreling toward him. He goes to jump out of the way - ZOOM - he FLIES TWO STORIES UP, nails a building and comes crashing back down to the sidewalk. Hal sits up, disheveled and scared. HAL (CONT'D) Okay, okay. Let's get it together, man. He closes his eyes in an attempt to will back his sanity. HAL (CONT'D) This is just some sort of...episode. It will pass, it will pass. He opens his eyes and looks down the street. A BEAUTIFUL NAKED WOMAN is coming toward him. HAL (CONT'D) Well, not too fast I hope. As she passes him and turns the corner out of his view he catches ANOTHER NAKED WOMAN - an old disgusting one. HAL (CONT'D) Yes, fast, fast! He turns away from her in horror only to see AN ENTIRE BLOCK OF NAKED PEOPLE going about their business. He rubs his eyes and looks down the street again. Everyone has returned to a clothed state. 46. He relaxes a little until he looks down and notices that he's floating a foot off the ground. HAL (CONT'D) I think I need to go home. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - DAY Hal's front door CREAKS as it slowly opens, revealing Master Mind. He walks over to the bathroom and smiles to himself as he notices the giant hole in the floor. MASTER MIND Welcome to your second birth, Hal Stewart. Master Mind continues to survey the room. He stops to look over a "KARATE KID" POSTER on Hal's living room wall. He focuses on the majestic image of Pat Morita teaching a young Ralph Macchio to kick. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Instruction is very important in the formative years. Every hero needs a mentor, a father figure to look up to. He presses his special watch, causing his body to MORPH INTO THE SPITTING-IMAGE OF PAT MORITA. "PAT MORITA" Perfect. INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - DAY Hal enters, grabs a bottle of vodka from atop of the fridge and takes a long pull from it. VOICE (O.S.) A man will usually find that if he drinks from a bottle, eventually, the bottle drinks from him. Hal does a SPIT TAKE. In the corner a darkened figure stands. HAL Who are you!? 47. VOICE I am the guide on your journey. Fate has chosen you to be it's champion. Pat Morita steps out from the shadows. Hal passes out again. LATER We are close on Hal's face as his eyes flutter open. He appears to be lying on the couch. He hunches up on his elbows, looks around, but everything is as it seems. He lays his head back down. HAL Thank God. It was a dream. Man, I must be losing it. A voice sounds right next to his ear. "PAT MORITA" (O.S.) You know you're out of orange juice? Hal leaps up to find he's been resting his head on Pat's lap. HAL Jesus! This isn't happening, this isn't happening. Hal backs away and trips over a box. "PAT MORITA" Calm. All things must be filtered through calmness. HAL Bullshit! Sometimes it's best to freak out. "PAT MORITA" I think we must work on your attitude first. HAL Look I'm gonna call the cops in about two seconds if you don't get out of here. 48. Pat rises and walks to Hal. He's so calm it makes Hal calm. "PAT MORITA" Are you calm now? HAL Yeah, I'm okay. Pat slaps him across the face hard. "PAT MORITA" Good, because we've got a lot of work to do. Hal grabs his jaw. HAL What the hell was that for? "PAT MORITA" Rule number one: expect the unexpected. HAL Can you just tell me what this is all about? "PAT MORITA" The heavens are not in the habit of bestowing a gift such as this to just anyone. You are being rewarded for being a man of great moral fortitude with an unwavering belief in humanity. HAL That's me alright. "PAT MORITA" I am to train you so you may fulfill your destiny to defeat the great menace to Metro City: Master Mind. Pat gets up and walks toward the door. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) Come. HAL We're are we going? 49. "PAT MORITA" To train. EXT. PAT'S CAR - DAY Pat is sitting in the driver's seat. The car is bumping up and down. "PAT MORITA" Strength is just as much in the mind as it is the muscle. Remember, both need to be exercised. We PULL BACK to see Hal lifting the car up over his head. He's hardly straining. HAL I'M LIFTING A FREAKING CAR!!! Pat leans on the HORN. "PAT MORITA" Hey, Corky? You listening? Two highly attractive female joggers run by. They're clearly impressed with Hal's show of strength. He smiles and mouths a "hello." HAL Yeah, work both muscles. EXT. DESERT - DAY Pat cocks back the chamber of a .357 MAGNUM. He holds it up and carefully takes aim...at Hal's chest. "PAT MORITA" Trust me. HAL What are you doing!? "PAT MORITA" An invulnerability test. Something wrong? HAL Uh...yeah. I would prefer not to get shot. Do not fire that thing! Frustrated, Pat lowers the gun. 50. "PAT MORITA" You're bulletproof. HAL Okay, do you know that for sure? Pat quickly aims and fires. Hal lets out a high pitched scream as the bullet ricochets off his chest. "PAT MORITA" I do now. Hal looks down at his chest, not so much as a scratch. HAL You suck. EXT. SKY - DAY Hal is in the air flying in a sitting position. He's weaving back and forth. HAL Ice Man, I got a bogie on my tail. Two Russian Migs coming in hard and fast. "PAT MORITA" Hey! HAL What? Hal looks down to see Pat Morita yelling at him from the roof of a building down below. "PAT MORITA" What did I tell you? Stomach down, hands up. Hal sighs and assumes the proper superhero in-flight position. HAL God, I feel so gay. Pat's CELL PHONE begins to RING. He answers it. "PAT MORITA" (in Master Mind voice) What is it? 51. ROXANNE (V.O.) John? Pat panics. He looks up to make sure no one is in earshot. He sees Hal now doing somersaults in the air. HAL YEEEE HAWWWW! Pat turns his attention back to the phone, talking in his John Cusack voice. "PAT MORITA" (in Cusack voice) Yes, it's John Cusack. ROXANNE (V.O.) Hi, it's Roxanne. Listen, I...I really enjoyed talking with you the other day. "PAT MORITA" ...As did I. ROXANNE (V.O.) Great. God, I feel really silly, and if you have a lot going on I totally understand. But, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to have lunch. He can't believe what he's hearing. "PAT MORITA" (excited) I'd love to! He quickly recovers his composure. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) I mean, I AM a little hungry. ROXANNE (V.O.) Great. How does the park sound, around noon-ish? "PAT MORITA" Sure! ROXANNE (V.O.) Great, see you then. 52. Pat hangs up the phone and returns it to his pocket as Hal lands behind him. HAL WHOOOOA! Man, that is so cool. It's like fly - Oh my God, I almost said it was like flying. "PAT MORITA" For the rest of the day I want you to continue to practice your flying posture. HAL Why, where're ya going? "PAT MORITA" ...To do something...mysterious ...and Asian. HAL Say no more, bro. I'll just keep at it, then. EXT. PARK - DAY John Cusack and Roxanne eat WRAPPED SANDWICHES while walking through Metro City Park. ROXANNE How's your sandwich? "JOHN CUSACK" It's quite delicious. ROXANNE Hope you don't think I'm too forward. Some men are intimidated when a woman asks them out. I just find you really easy to talk to. "JOHN CUSACK" And I you. ROXANNE You know, you're not at all like you are in the movies. "JOHN CUSACK" I'm not? 53. ROXANNE Yeah. I don't know - You have this strange, refined way of speaking. "JOHN CUSACK" I do? That is most interesting. ROXANNE Anyway, when we were talking the other day I just felt, even though we only talked for a couple of hours, that we've known each other for years. "JOHN CUSACK" I know just what you mean. Roxanne bites into her sandwich. ROXANNE You know what? This sandwich is disgusting. She tosses it in a nearby garbage can. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Of course I already ate half of it. I wonder what that says about my character? "JOHN CUSACK" It means you don't give up on a sandwich. You see that it has potential, and you give it every chance to be all it can be. Roxanne smiles at his analogy. ROXANNE Thanks, but knowing me, I was probably projecting my expectations of what a lunch should be on the sandwich. It might have been okay at first, but I just made it bitter. John Cusack notices Roxanne's smile starting to fade. "JOHN CUSACK" Is that what happened with your last sandwich - I mean, boyfriend? 54. ROXANNE When I look back, I probably shouldn't of expected so much from him. He was already a giving person. You know, one of those go out and save the world types. "JOHN CUSACK" I've run into a few. ROXANNE I was selfish, I guess. I didn't want to share him with anybody else. "JOHN CUSACK" It sounds like he was a special man. ROXANNE They broke the mold. John Cusack arches his eyebrow in a very familiar manner. "JOHN CUSACK" Perhaps not. INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY Hal walks up to Pat Morita sporting a Lone Ranger-type mask and wearing a purple and red superhero costume. It's not unlike Uberman's except for a giant "T" on his chest. (From here on, Hal is referred to as TITAN) TITAN What's the "T" stand for? "PAT MORITA" Titan. TITAN What's that supposed to mean? "PAT MORITA" It's from Roman mythology. Zeus's father...oh, just go with it. You look perfect. TITAN I don't think this mask is big enough. Are you sure no one is gonna recognize me? 55. "PAT MORITA" It's fine, just don't slouch. It's all in the posture. He grabs Titan's shoulders like a proud papa. "PAT MORITA" (CONT'D) It is time. INT. BANK - DAY There is a long line of people snaked around the velvet ropes. They're all waiting for their chance at the one open teller window. Four men wearing BEATLES MASKS(JOHN,PAUL,GEORGE,AND RINGO)and CARRYING SHOTGUNS enter the bank. John fires a shot in the air, sending everyone into an immediate panic. JOHN Alright folks, this is a robbery. Nobody moves - yadda, yadda, yadda... Ringo jumps over the teller wall and starts stuffing bills into a bag. As John and Paul cover the crowd, George goes to the corner office and puts a gun to the BANK MANAGER'S head. GEORGE The safe. Let's go. BANK MANAGER Okay, just don't hurt anyone. GEORGE Yeah, yeah, yeah. George leads him out by the collar. CRASH - Titan smashes through the window and lands in a bold superhero stance with hands on hips. TITAN Well, boys, there's no need for all this just to get the free toaster. Paul cocks his gun. 56. PAUL What are you suppose to be? We move in for a nice dramatic close up. TITAN Justice. GEORGE Well, justice, suck on this... George, John and Paul open fire on Titan. He just stands there and yawns as the bullets bounce off him. With their guns empty the three just stare at him in amazement. TITAN Now it's my turn. He turns to George. TITAN (CONT'D) Hey, George, here comes the sun. Titan grabs George and throws him into a fluorescent light fixture in the ceiling. Paul tries to run for the door. Titan snatches the collar of his jacket. TITAN (CONT'D) Say, Paul, your mother should know...that you're a scumbag. He tosses Paul out the window and into a parked DELIVERY TRUCK. Titan turns around just as John hits him with the butt of his shotgun. It instantly breaks apart in his hands. Titan lifts him like a rag doll up into the air. TITAN (CONT'D) John, all you need is love... He throws John who lands on top of a cubical wall - GROIN FIRST. TITAN (CONT'D) ...and a good urologist. 57. Titan effortlessly hops over the teller wall to find Ringo cowering on the floor. He grabs him by the shirt and lifts him up. HAL Well, Ringo...um...um...you're under arrest. EXT. BANK - DAY Titan walks out of the bank with Ringo and George under his arm. He's suddenly swarmed by a group of television reporters, including Roxanne. Across the street is Pat Morita. He watches Titan's first news conference with great anxiety. BANK MANAGER (to Hal) On behalf of the First National Bank of Metro City, I'd like to offer you a reward for your act of bravery. He hands Titan a check. TITAN (reading) Ten thousand dollars! Titan looks over to Pat, who violently shakes his head no. TITAN (CONT'D) (unenthusiastically) I...can't except this. Law and order is it's own...um...reward. Pat gives him the thumbs up. Pat turns, suddenly seeing Roxanne with her camera crew. Captivated, his eyes lock on her. Meanwhile, Roxanne and her cameraman, SETH, are maneuvering around the crowd to get closer to Titan. BRAD HELMS (O.S.) Not so fast, Roxanne. They both turn to see Roxanne's reporter rival Brad Helms, Geraldo without the class, and his cameraman, FRANK. BRAD HELMS This story's mine. 58. ROXANNE Listen, Brad. We were just in the area. I was just trying to - BRAD HELMS I've been in this business long enough to know pretty well what you were "just trying to do." Besides, I heard you couldn't take the big game anymore and were put on fluff detail? Dejected, Roxanne turns and motions for Seth to turn the camera off. SETH You're not gonna take that from him, are you? ROXANNE He's right. Old habit, I guess. (to Brad) We'll get out of your way. As they walk off, Brad makes a comment to Frank loud enough for her to hear. BRAD HELMS Besides, I'm sure there's a pancake supper somewhere that needs covering. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - OFFICE - DAY ON TELEVISION We see the news conference on the bank's steps. In the corner of the screen is written: "recorded earlier." BRAD HELMS For months now, since the death of Uberman, the citizens of Metro City have been holding out for a hero. Well, it appears they won't have to hold out for much longer as a new costumed crusader has suddenly stormed onto the scene. Today, at the Metro Savings and Trust, a masked mystery man single-handedly defeated "The Fab Four Gang." Just who is this new caped avenger? Brad holds the microphone to Titan's face. 59. BRAD HELMS I'm sure all of our viewers are now wondering, what's the "T" stand for? TITAN It's a message to all the scum out there. Uberman may be gone, but Metro City has a new protector, and his name is "Tighten!" Another reporter leans in. REPORTER How do you spell that? We PULL BACK to see Plato and Da Vinci watching this spectacle. Master Mind is sitting with them, reading a NEWSPAPER. MASTER MIND (reading paper) Oh, for heaven's sake. I can't believe it. He misspelled his name. Master Mind holds up the newspaper. The headline reads "Metro's New Hero: Tighten." MASTER MIND (CONT'D) No matter, I suppose. Master Mind throws the paper on the floor and begins to pace around the room with his arms folded behind his back. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) We've now fully established Titan as Metro City's hero. They will love him just as they loved Uberman. Everything is going according to plan. Einstein leans over and whispers in Plato's ear. EINSTEIN (whispering) Yeah, if the plan is getting us in jail. Master Mind turns around, facing Einstein. He walks over, standing face to face with the rebellious henchmen. 60. MASTER MIND You know, Einstein, maybe I should have called you Socrates. He also didn't know when to keep his thoughts to himself. EINSTEIN I just fail to see the point in all of this. I mean, why are we creating another superhero when it was such a pain in the ass for you to get rid of the other one? I mean, Uberman is destroyed, we should be using this opportunity to...to... MASTER MIND To what? EINSTEIN I don't know. To take over the weather, space, the world - whatever super villains are SUPPOSED to do. MASTER MIND The reason someone like you will always be a minion is because you have no foresight. We take over the earth, like you said. Then what? Women? Cars? Money? Even the grandest treasures will lose their lustre if you don't have someone to hold them over. Einstein throws up his hands. He's had enough. He pulls off his wig and throws it to the floor. EINSTEIN That's it! This balance of the force bullshit is getting way too Oprah for me. I'm blowing. Who's with me? MASTER MIND You dare? EINSTEIN Yeah, I dare. I'm sick of wearing stupid costumes, and I'm sick of working for a super villain who's turning into a softie. 61. Plato and Da Vinci's mouths drop to the floor. They turn to Master Mind for his rebuttal. MASTER MIND What - did - you - call me? EINSTEIN You heard me. You used to be an inhuman monster, now look at you. You're creating super heroes, you don't go with us on robberies anymore, it's been days since you threatened anyone, oh, and not to mention this Roxanne Ritchi thing. MASTER MIND THAT is none of your business, knave! EINSTEIN Hey, you guys haven't sealed the deal yet, have you? MASTER MIND Silence! EINSTEIN (In a woman's voice) Oh, Master, your head is so big. MASTER MIND I'm warning you, Einstein. EINSTEIN (In a woman's voice) Take me! MASTER MIND I said silence! With his metal gauntlet Master Mind grabs Einstein by the throat and lifts him into the air. Einstein looks frightened as he tries to pry himself free of Master Mind's grip. Master Mind's eyes soften as if his heart is suddenly not into what he's about to do. He let's Einstein drop to the floor. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Get out of my sight. 62. EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT Roxanne and John Cusack are eating on the outside patio of a fancy restaurant. ROXANNE Don't get me wrong, I love being a reporter. I don't think I could do anything else. It's the consequences of what we do that I'm having a problem with. He listens intently as he refills her glass with wine. "JOHN CUSACK" That's where journalistic responsibility comes in, no? ROXANNE It's supposed to. "JOHN CUSACK" Sounds to me like you're running from something. ROXANNE I got someone I cared about killed. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been involved. John suddenly gets a disturbed look in his eye, realizing what she's talking about. He reaches across the table and takes her hand. "JOHN CUSACK" You can't blame yourself. My father used to say each of us must answer the great call to truly feel alive. ROXANNE Was he an actor? "JOHN CUSACK" ...No. He was...a landscaper. And a horrible one. I mean he would fail time and time again at his...landscaping. And sometimes he'd get pretty beaten up or thrown in jail - ROXANNE Jail? 63. "JOHN CUSACK" My point is he took the good with the bad. He grew a little each time. Improved, learned. ROXANNE Was he ever successful? "JOHN CUSACK" God, no...but don't let deter you. Roxanne LAUGHS. ROXANNE Thanks for this. You know, this is embarrassing, but it's been a long time since I - It's starting to lightly sprinkle. Roxanne looks up. ROXANNE (CONT'D) I think it's starting to rain. We might want to find a table inside. "JOHN CUSACK" What were you gonna say? ROXANNE Oh, I was gonna say...It's been a long time since...well, I've been with someone I...enjoy being with. John Cusack smiles warmly and raises his glass for a toast. "JOHN CUSACK" To people who enjoy being with each other. They go to clang glasses, when the rain suddenly causes John Cusack's disguise generator to short. His true form of Master Mind is briefly revealed to Roxanne as a BOLT OF ELECTRICITY encircles his body. Roxanne drops her glass and jumps out of her seat. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Oh, no. Don't look at me. LIKE A BROKEN TV the image keeps switching between MASTER MIND AND JOHN CUSACK. 64. As Master Mind starts to franticly slap at his watch, the Cusack disguise begins to hold steady. He nonchalantly returns to cutting his steak. "JOHN CUSACK" Okay, never mind that. Now, where were we? Roxanne grabs his glass and throws the drink in his face, causing the generator to short out permanently. Master Mind now sits in his true blue form. ROXANNE Oh my God. MASTER MIND You're not gonna get all freaky about this, are you? ROXANNE This...this is too much, even for you. God, I go out with you, tell you my innermost thoughts. MASTER MIND I only did this because I wanted to talk to you on the same level. You know, without all the baggage? ROXANNE Baggage? You burned my boyfriend alive, you sick son-of-a-bitch! MASTER MIND You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Roxanne starts to walk away. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Roxanne! ROXANNE Stay away from me. Master Mind sinks back down to his chair. Despite the now heavy rain bombarding him, he returns to his food. Several resturaunt patron's are looking at him through the window. 65. Our villain turns to them, giving them a villainous glare. MASTER MIND What? INT. MASTER MIND'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Master Mind is lying on his back, wide awake. MASTER MIND (mumbling to himself) Stupid. What was I thinking? Plato, it's his fault. He's the one who sent me on this weak-willed path. I'll filet his scrotum for this. Me, a creature of evil, in love with Roxanne Ritchi. Preposterous. I hardly give such matters thought He rolls onto his side. He yawns and closes his eyes. Suddenly, they shoot back open. CUT TO: EXT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT Master Mind pulls up in a blue Rolls Royce, across the street from Roxanne's apartment He stares up at the building, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Finally, she appears, primping her hair in her apartment window's reflection. MASTER MIND I should just go up there and just lay it all out to her. "Roxanne, I like you - I always have. Oh, and I'm sorry I blew up your ex. (realizing the absurdity of his words) Yeah, that would go over like a pants-less clown at a child's birthday party. What the hell am I even doing here? Who cares what she thinks? I'm a supervillain and here I am acting like a love struck schoolboy. Forget this. I control my own destiny! 66. He turns the ignition key - NOTHING HAPPENS. He repeats but gets the same results. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (disgusted) Perfect. INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT She pulls a pack of smokes off her night stand. Empty. ROXANNE Damn. She grabs her long coat and throws it over her robe. EXT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT BUILDING Roxanne steps outside. ROXANNE Please be open. Across the street is a liquor store. The light is still on. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Thank God. She walks across the street, passing in front of Master Mind's car. Spotting her, he sinks down in his seat. Roxanne walks by, totally unaware of his presence. Relieved, Master Mind sits back up and watches her go into the store. INT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT Roxanne walks up to an elderly Korean SHOPKEEPER at the counter. ROXANNE A pack of Lady Strikes, please. EXT. MASTER MIND'S CAR - NIGHT Master Mind is talking on his cell phone. MASTER MIND Hello, Triple A? 67. He suddenly spots something across the street. EXT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT A HOODLUM walks up to the entrance of the store and pulls out a gun from under his coat. EXT. MASTER MIND'S CAR - NIGHT Master Mind stares in shock. MASTER MIND I'll call you back. He hangs up the phone and watches the Hoodlum go inside the store. INT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT The Hoodlum reaches across the counter and grabs a fist full of cash from the register. SHOPKEEPER Hey! SHOTGUN HOODLUM Shut up, Gramps. He turns to Roxanne, spotting a GOLD NECKLACE around her neck. SHOTGUN HOODLUM (CONT'D) Gimme that necklace! ROXANNE I don't think so. The Hoodlum cocks his shotgun. SHOTGUN HOODLUM I said give it to me! MASTER MIND (O.S.) The lady said no. The hoodlum turns around to see Master Mind in the doorway holding a STRANGE-LOOKING HAND CANNON (GOO GUN) with knobs and blinking lights. The hoodlum starts to laugh. 68. SHOTGUN HOODLUM What the hell's that? A super soaker? MASTER MIND No, it's a goo gun. The hoodlum turns his gun to Master Mind. SHOTGUN HOODLUM Yeah, what's it do? MASTER MIND It goos. Master Mind fires the cannon. It instantly covers the store in a cloud of SMOKE. The smoke clears to reveal the hoodlum STUCK TO THE WALL, covered in a thick, GREEN GUNK. Roxanne stares at him, dumbfounded. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) It's...a prototype. Master Mind starts to walk out when he's suddenly confronted by the shopkeeper. SHOPKEEPER I know you! You Master Brain guy. You a hero. Master Mind points the goo gun at him. MASTER MIND Don't - EVER - say that again. EXT. LIQUOR STORE - NIGHT Master Mind walks out with the cannon resting on his shoulder like he's a short timer in Da Nang. Roxanne follows shortly behind him. ROXANNE Hey! Master Mind turns around. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Are you following me or something? 69. MASTER MIND Don't flatter yourself. He turns away and continues walking. Roxanne runs in front of him blocking his way. ROXANNE Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you. Finally it occurs to her what's going on. ROXANNE (CONT'D) What a minute...all that stuff you use to say to me when Uberman was alive - about me being the loyal queen by your side as you rule over Metro City. That wasn't just super villain rhetoric, was it? You actually meant it! MASTER MIND My, someone has a rather high opinion of themselves. They stare at each other in silence, their glares locked in conflict. ROXANNE (coldly) Do you really think I would be with someone like you? This stings Master Mind to the bone. And after a brief contemplation, he reaches the only logical, painful conclusion. MASTER MIND No. With that, Master Mind exits into the night, leaving Roxanne with a baffled expression on her face. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind enters in a huff. Da Vinci closes the door behind him as Plato notices his master's agitated state. PLATO Everything alright, sir? Master Mind GRABS PLATO BY THE GROIN with his metal gauntlet causing Plato's eyes to bulge in pain. 70. MASTER MIND (overly calm) Fine, why do you ask? PLATO You...just...seem... Master Mind tightens his grip. MASTER MIND Go on. PLATO ...distracted. Master Mind releases him. MASTER MIND Just with business, my minion. Just with business. I've decided it is time. PLATO You mean? MASTER MIND Yes, we've created our hero, now it's time to give him a little motivation. DA VINCI How do we do that? MASTER MIND To be simply good is not enough. A hero must be driven by an almost relentless desire to right a wrong that can never be corrected. PLATO You mean? MASTER MIND Yes, he must lose someone near and dear to him - his father figure. Gentlemen, it's time for Operation Mentor Kill! EXT. SKY OVER METRO CITY - DAY Titan flies high over and through the city, under bridges, between buildings, etc. He's not really working, just enjoying himself. 71. INT. WOMAN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT A PRETTY WOMAN sits at her makeup table wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Through the reflection in her mirror we see a large window directly behind her. As she applies lipstick we see Titan fly quickly by in the background. After a moment he slowly slides back in view and begins ogling the girl. She sees him in the mirror and quickly covers herself with a robe. Titan tries to hide his face as he zooms off. MOMENTS LATER Titan looks down to see an APARTMENT BUILDING IN RUIN. Emergency lights flash around it as swarms of people run around in chaos. TITAN Man, what the hell happened down there? Wait a sec - He stops in mid-air as he comes to the striking realization. TITAN (CONT'D) THAT'S MY APARTMENT!!! EXT. HAL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Titan lands in front of the rubble that was once his home. Reporters stand just beyond the police line. TITAN Crap. From the wreckage crawls a dying Pat Morita. TITAN (CONT'D) PAT! Titan goes and kneels beside Pat, holding him in his arms. TITAN (CONT'D) You okay? "PAT MORITA" I'm dying, kid. There is just one last lesson I have for you. It is the most important of all. 72. TITAN What's that? "PAT MORITA" Master Mind did this, you must avenge me. TITAN Master Mind? Why? "PAT MORITA" Because he's evil. You must stop the evil Hal - stop the... Pat's body goes limp. The cameras begin to pop and flash around them. Titan gently lays Pat's body down and stands respectfully over him. The reporters rush over. REPORTER 1 Tighten, Is this the work of Master Mind? REPORTER 2 How will the death of your mentor affect your resolve? REPORTER 3 Was that Pat Morita? Titan walks up to one of the cameras. TITAN This injustice will not go unpunished. Master Mind, if you can hear me, Tighten is coming for you. In the background we see Plato and Da Vinci, DRESSED AS PARAMEDICS, load pat's body onto a stretcher. PLATO ACCIDENTALLY DROPS HIS SIDE. As he bends down to pick it back up, Pat quickly slaps him, then goes back to playing dead. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind and the boys prepare the fortress for Hal's revenge attack. Master Mind is as giddy as a schoolboy. 73. MASTER MIND Alright, people, we don't have much time. Titan should be here any minute, so let's get the lead out. There is a GIANT MOUNTED DEATH RAY in the middle of the hall being tinkered with by Da Vinci. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) How's the death ray coming? DA VINCI Nearly up to full power, sir. MASTER MIND Hum. Let's turn it down a few notches. It's his first time and we don't want to get in a lucky shot, now do we? Plato enters the room. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Anything on the radar yet? PLATO Not yet, sir. MASTER MIND I see. Well, he must be planning something big. Are the flame androids deployed? PLATO All twelve. Master Mind rubs his hands in anticipation as he sits down on his throne. MASTER MIND Wonderful, wonderful. Plato, Da Vinci, take your places next to me. They move to either side of the chair. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) No slouching. Da Vinci straightens up and sucks in his gut. They remain this way for several long moments. Master Mind occasionally glances at a DIGITAL CLOCK on the wall. Still no Titan. 74. LATER Apparently quite some time has passed. The bold stances have degraded to fatigue. PLATO He's certainly taking his time. MASTER MIND He'll be here. That's the way it works. STILL LATER Master Mind reclines in his chair and taps his metal gauntlet impatiently on the armrest. Plato has squatted down, resting his chin on his hand. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Unprofessional, that's what this is. No, it's disrespect for the craft. Master Mind rises and begins to pace back and forth. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Would Uberman have kept us waiting like this? Of course not. He was a pro who knew the score. It's time we spelled out a few things for this Titan. I will not be made a fool of. He storms out of the room. INT. HAL'S NEW APARTMENT - DAY Titan's sitting on the floor in a barren apartment wearing his costume top and some tighty whities. He sips his beer as he watches a basketball game on a tiny TV. Much to his annoyance, there's a KNOCK at the door. TITAN Oh, for crying out loud. He gets up and opens the door. It's Master Mind. MASTER MIND Do you know who I am? 75. It takes a few moments to register, but Titan's suddenly excited. TITAN Yeah, you're Master Mind. Yeah! You're actually the guy I want to see! MASTER MIND Oh, so NOW you want to get down to it. Well, I want to get a few things off my chest first. Master Mind walks past Titan into the apartment. He spins around, pointing at him accusingly with one of his metal fingers. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Of all the inconsiderate - Do you have any idea how long we waited for you? We're you even planning on coming to me and getting revenge? Titan shuts the apartment door, and turns back toward his guest. TITAN Well, at first I was going to. You know, because that's what I figured I was supposed to do. But then I got to thinking- MASTER MIND (interrupting) -You got to thinking? There's nothing to think about. I'm the villain. I do something bad, you come and get me. TITAN - I got to thinking...what's the point? Master Mind throws up his hands. MASTER MIND Maybe you're right. What's the point? He suddenly notices something in the corner of his eye. He walks over to a futon in the living room. On top of it is a LARGE SACK OVERFLOWING WITH GOLD WATCHES,RINGS AND OTHER VALUABLES. 76. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What are these? TITAN That's what I wanted to talk to you about. MASTER MIND (baffled) Where did you get all this? TITAN (proudly) Get this: I stole them. MASTER MIND From where? TITAN From all over. You see, once you killed Pat and ruined my other apartment building I was pretty pissed off, so I figured I'd go, find you and kick some ass. Then I thought to myself: "Okay,then what?" I mean, if we were to fight, what would I get out of it? Would I get my apartment back? Would I be able to pay the bills? MASTER MIND Well, what about your mentor? TITAN Tell you the truth? He was kind of a dick. I mean, being a hero is dandy and all, but it's volunteer work. Now you've always had the right take on all this. I mean, when you rob a bank or take over the diamond exchange you get something out of it. I mean, when you don't get caught, which, no offense, isn't very often. And that brings me to what I wanted to propose to you: Who could catch you if I'm by your side? Perplexed by his proposal, Master Mind just stares at Titan awe-struck. MASTER MIND You want to team-up? 77. TITAN You got the brains, I got the brawn. We could even call ourselves that: `Brain' and `Brawn'. Look at this. Titan picks up a piece of POSTER BOARD off the floor and shows it to Master Mind. TITAN (CONT'D) I even designed us some new costumes. The picture is crudely drawn with magic markers and crayons. A big headed man (Master Mind) is standing on a plate of grass in a blue costume with a picture of a brain on his chest. Next to him, is a picture of Titan in a red costume with a black cape, but his chest is mysteriously blank. Titan proudly points to the two figures. TITAN (CONT'D) See, you'd be brain, so you got a little one on your costume, and then I'll have brawn on mine...once I figure out the best, you know, visual interpretation of it. What do you think? MASTER MIND What do I think? Master Mind shakes his head tiredly. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I think you're probably the biggest idiot I've ever met. I mean, I can't believe you. All your gifts, all your powers, and all you want to use them for is your own financial fulfillment. You know what? Your kind of people make me sick. Titan puts down his drawing. TITAN I worked hard on this. MASTER MIND Oh - gee - I am so sorry! 78. Master Mind looks to Heaven in disgust. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (under his breath) Of all the people to pick, it had to be this loser. This strikes a cord with Titan. TITAN Now, hold on. You're going a little too far. MASTER MIND I wish your mother said that to your father the night of your conception, they would have saved me a whole lot of heartache. TITAN Hey, I mean it. Master Mind gets right in his face. MASTER MIND Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do? EXT. HAL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY We see Master Mind's body CRASH through the building and land in a DUMPSTER across the street. A car pulls up. The driver's door opens. Da Vinci gets out and runs to help his master. DA VINCI Master! MASTER MIND (O.S.) It hurts. Da Vinci peeks into the dumpster to see Master Mind's body cushioned by a stack of trash bags. DA VINCI What hurts? MASTER MIND It! The overly large henchmen starts to pull his master from the dumpster when they suddenly hear a voice from above. It's Titan peeking through the hole in his apartment wall. 79. TITAN I don't need you, I don't need anybody. I have the power to do and take anything I want. And now, I'm gonna take back everything this city owes me. Beware Metro City, it's time for Titan to collect. Titan shoots up into the air. TITAN (CONT'D) Oh, and from now on - I'M GONNA FLY THE WAY I WANT TO FLY! He takes a sitting position and flies away as if he were piloting an invisible jet. Master Mind climbs out of the dumpster and watches Titan disappear into the distance. DA VINCI How'd the plan go, boss? MASTER MIND I just made myself redundant, old friend. Da Vinci gives Master Mind a whiff. DA VINCI It's not that bad. INT. BANK - DAY Titan, with a happy bounce in his step, enters the bank. The last time he was here he thwarted a robbery. He looks nostalgic. A SECURITY GUARD shyly walks up to him like a kid meeting his TV idol. SECURITY GUARD Morning, Tighten. TITAN Morning. SECURITY GUARD Is there something we can do for you? 80. TITAN Oh, don't bother about me. I'm just here to make a withdrawal. Titan walks across the lobby, drawing stares of admiration from all. A little girl waves to him sweetly. He gives her a good- natured WINK as he heads straight for the vault. The security guard watches him enter and come out with a SACK OF CASH. Sure he must be misunderstanding what's going on, the security guard just stares at Titan as he passes by and out the door. The bank manager comes over to the guard. BANK MANAGER Say, did he just rob us? SECURITY GUARD Not sure. Sort of looks it, don't it? BANK MANAGER Yeah. SECURITY GUARD Should I, you know, stop him? BANK MANAGER Umm...Yeah. As the security guard exits the bank, the manager stares out the window. His eyes suddenly grow wide with terror. The guard's body suddenly smashes through the window, landing at the startled bank manager's feet. BANK MANAGER (CONT'D) (looking down at the guard) He did rob us, didn't he? CUT TO: TELEVISION "A Channel 7 News Special Report." Brad Helms wipes into view. 81. BRAD HELMS "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." When Lord Acton stated that, in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton in 1887, no one thought much about it, but today Metro City is reeling from that very prophecy. Tighten, who many thought of as our savior, has turned his back on the cause of justice. CUT TO: TITAN BEING EVIL - MONTAGE EXT. DIAMOND EXCHANGE - DAY Titan flies through the window of the building. He emerges seconds later laughing with his shirt full of booty. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY A woman screams from the window of a BURNING BUILDING. Titan flies up to her, grabs her fur coat and zooms off again, leaving the woman behind, slightly confused. EXT. OUTSIDE MARKET - DAY Titan steals a little boy's lollipop and gooses his mother. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Dozens of people run through the streets apparently to get out of a downpour. We cut to the top of a building and see Titan ZIPPING UP HIS PANTS and laughing. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - NIGHT Master Mind paces back and forth in front of Plato and Da Vinci. PLATO I don't understand it. He seemed to have every characteristic we were looking for in a superhero. MASTER MIND Well, there's no use crying about it now, we must take action. I'm not going to play second fiddle to that crass buffoon. We must destroy Tighten. 82. PLATO It won't be easy. Uberman had a sense of decency and genuine love for the people. That was his weakness and was easily used against him. MASTER MIND Yes, but he possesses the same flaws present in Uberman's DNA - copper. It's like Benjamin Franklin always said: "If something works don't dick with it." EXT. BAR - DAY It looks like a war zone passed through here. Smashed police cars and debris lay everywhere. This seems to be the only building left untouched. INT. BAR - DAY A very tipsy Titan is sitting at the bar, looking deep into the bottom of his beer glass for answers. TITAN I can have anything I want. I'm like a god. The BARTENDER just listens as he wipes down a glass with a dirty rag. TITAN Point to any woman in this bar. I could have her in a second. He follows the bartender's gaze to THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE - A passed out, MIDDLE AGED HAG OF A BARFLY. TITAN (to Old Barfly) Hey, you wanna get with this? BARTENDER Buddy, what do you want? Titan carefully considers this for a moment. TITAN What do you want? That's the question, isn't it. I mean, what do you want when you can have everything? (MORE) 83. TITAN(cont'd) I suppose what I really want is to never be forgotten again. I want to do something that can never be cast aside or one-upped. I want a - what's it called? - A legacy. I want a legacy. Yeah, that's it. I like the sound that. BARTENDER I meant, what do you want to drink? TITAN Oh. EXT. BAR - LATER Titan stumbles out of the bar, carrying a large sack of money. MASTER MIND (O.S.) Your time has come to an end, Titan! He looks up to see Master Mind suddenly standing before him. TITAN What? MASTER MIND There can be only one master criminal in this city - and it's me. TITAN Really? Titan melodramatically throws up his arms. TITAN (CONT'D) I guess I should leave town then, huh? MASTER MIND I have a better idea - NOW! Two floors up Da Vinci releases a rope. A COPPER CAGE, like the one that caged Uberman, drops down on top of Titan. Titan nonchalantly surveys the cage. He walks to the bars, tries to pull them apart but can't. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) That's copper my good man. Your one weakness. (MORE) 84. MASTER MIND(cont'd) For all your amazing gifts of brawn you are no match for my intellect. Titan thinks for a moment. Suddenly, he starts to SPIN like a human top, DRILLING HIMSELF INTO THE STREET BELOW. As he disappears beneath the surface, we see a shocked look on Master Mind's face until Titan suddenly explodes out from under the street in front of him. Master Mind stares up at him, dumbfounded. Titan makes like he's going to strike him down, but stops. TITAN You know what? You're nothing but a bug. Not even worth my effort. He turns his back to Master Mind and continues down the street. Plato makes his way from the shadows to join his master. They watch Titan shrink into the distance. MASTER MIND He's not as dumb as I thought. PLATO I guess not...Funny, though. MASTER MIND What's funny? PLATO Funny Uberman didn't think of the same thing. EXT. HIGH ABOVE METRO CITY - DAY As Titan flies, he looks down at the rooftops of the city below. Suddenly, something catches his attention. HAL That's it! He stops, hovering in place as he looks down below. The buildings, which make up the heart of downtown Metro, are in a PERFECT TRIANGLE with a long strip of street leading up to it. It sorta looks like a bowling lane. 85. HAL Hello, Legacy. EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY Vinnie and his goons come running out as the hear a COMMOTION. They look up to see Titan ripping off THE GIANT BOWLING BALL from the top of the establishment. VINNIE Hey, that's my ball! INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Roxanne enters the building's elevator. Just before the door closes an ELDERLY WOMAN slides in. ELDERLY WOMAN That was a close one. Sixth floor, please. Roxanne smiles and goes to press the button. The elderly woman suddenly pulls out a SPRAY CAN, shooting a MYSTERIOUS-LOOKING MIST into Roxanne's face. She falls to the floor unconscious. INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT - DAY Roxanne awakens, finding herself tied to a chair in her living room. We hear NOISE from a TV in the background as she tries to adjust her vision. Slowly, the blurry figure before her becomes clear. It's Master Mind. He sits on her Lazy-Boy, reading what looks to be some kind of JOURNAL. MASTER MIND Wow, I always thought Uberman was your first superhero - but it looks like our little Roxanne dated a linebacker in college. ROXANNE That's my diary. MASTER MIND So it is. 86. ROXANNE It's personal. MASTER MIND Well, then I wouldn't leave it in your underwear drawer for just anyone to find. He throws the diary over his shoulder. ROXANNE What do you want? MASTER MIND I need your help. ROXANNE So you knock me out and tie me to a chair? MASTER MIND You're not going to like what I'm about to tell you. As she tries to shake off her headache from being knocked unconscious, Roxanne spots something on the TV. ON TELEVISION Brad Helms is huddled behind a van. BRAD HELMS It's chaos here in city square as city police - Behind him, Titan picks up a POLICE CAR and throws it at a PADDY WAGON. Both vehicles EXPLODE on impact. BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE He's really out of control. MASTER MIND Tell me about it. As if finally realizing something, Roxanne looks back at Master Mind. ROXANNE I should have known. You have something to do with this, don't you? - With Titan turning evil. 87. MASTER MIND Well, the evil thing he did by himself. My goal was to give MYSELF purpose by creating an intellectual sparring partner. ROXANNE (confused) You're talking like you made him. MASTER MIND And they call me Master Mind. ROXANNE Let me get this straight. You missed getting your ass kicked, so you made a new guy to kick your ass. That's pathetic. MASTER MIND In hindsight... Roxanne turns back to the TV to see a group of POLICE OFFICERS open fire on Titan. The bullets just deflect off his chest. ROXANNE And his powers, they're just like Uberman's. Why would he have his powers? MASTER MIND (almost ashamed) I had some left over from something. I infused him with it. ROXANNE YOU DID WHAT!? Driven by rage, she struggles to tear out of her bonds. She finally relents, giving Master Mind a look fueled by pure hatred. MASTER MIND Yeah, that's why I decided to tie you up. ROXANNE You did all this because you wanted purpose? MASTER MIND He seemed nice. 88. TELEVISION Titan is standing on top of a destroyed police car. He waves for the camera to zoom in on him. TITAN Closer. I want to show the people my real face. He pulls off his mask, revealing himself as Hal Stewart to the public for the first time. TITAN (CONT'D) Recognize me? BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE Hal Stewart. He's the guy we thought saved that woman and kid. Turned out he was just trying to save his own ass. MASTER MIND Yeah, good to know - NOW! TELEVISION Titan throws the mask over this shoulder and hops off the car. TITAN That's right, I'm really Hal Stewart. Former hero and bowling teacher at Kingpin's Bowling. BACK TO SCENE Roxanne turns to Master Mind, condescending him with her eyes. ROXANNE You picked a bowler to give super powers to? MASTER MIND It's a modest profession! TELEVISION 89. TITAN With my new found power, I've recently started to wonder what sort of legacy I should leave. Should I be a hero? I tried that once before - even saved a lady and her baby from being squashed. I was treated like a god until everyone started to shit on me - Okay, so what if I didn't "purposely" save them! He walks over and puts his hand on a large circular concrete shape just off camera. TITAN Well, I'm going to make something that can't be taken away from me. I'm going to create a permanent monument to my greatness. One that won't be so easily forgotten or erased. The camera pulls back revealing THE GIANT CONCRETE BOWLING BALL from Kingpin's. TITAN I intend to create a new category in the Guinness Book of World's Records by rolling the biggest strike in the history of bowling. He grabs the camera and points it to the DOWNTOWN BUILDINGS. We realize they are PERFECTLY ALIGNED IN BOWLING PIN FORMATION. TITAN My thanks to the city planning commission. This wouldn't have been possible without them. Titan grabs the camera so it's pointing back at him again. TITAN Tell your friends and family to tune in right here to this station at noon tomorrow. BACK TO SCENE ROXANNE My god, he's nuts. That'll destroy the whole business triangle. 90. Master Mind seems to be contemplating something - something bad. ROXANNE What? MASTER MIND My lair is in the direct path of the ball. ROXANNE Oh, real nice. Wouldn't want anything to happen to your hideout, would we? MASTER MIND You don't understand. I have certain equipment that's - that's highly unstable. ROXANNE What do you mean? MASTER MIND I sort of have a hydrogen reactor, okay? ROXANNE A HYDROGEN reactor? MASTER MIND It's experimental - only one in the world...Well, how do you think I power all my inventions? Someone like me can't pay for electricity. The bills would be outrageous. ROXANNE A REACTOR? MASTER MIND It creates 100 times the output of a nuclear one...If destroyed it could... ROXANNE - Vaporize the entire city! MASTER MIND (proudly) Pshaw...the whole eastern seaboard, actually. That little baby is amazing. I'm quite proud of it. (MORE) 91. MASTER MIND(cont'd) (off her deadpan reaction) I mean...we'd better find a way to stop him. Master Mind thinks a moment. MASTER MIND Did Uberman have a hideout? ROXANNE What? MASTER MIND A cave, a solitary fortress of some kind. C'mon, all heros have a place to hang their capes up in. Roxanne, it may be our only chance to find something, a clue, anything that could give us a fighting chance. ROXANNE It's under his house. MASTER MIND Whose house? Roxanne can hardly believe what she's telling him. ROXANNE Wayne Scott's. Master Mind shoots up out of his chair. MASTER MIND Wayne Scott? Uberman was Wayne Scott!? Wayne Scott, the wealthy philanthropist? But he disappeared - ROXANNE (interrupting) He disappeared just over two months ago when you killed him. Not only did you rid the world of a hero, you killed a kind, noble, generous man. Perhaps ashamed, the super villain hangs his head. Master Mind walks behind Roxanne and undoes her bonds. Rubbing her wrists, she watches him as he walks over to the door. 92. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Looks like you got what you always wanted. Uberman is out of the picture and Metro City is doomed. He grabs the door knob and stops, considering her words. MASTER MIND "Metro City doomed." You know, I never thought I'd say something like this, but here it goes - He slowly turns to her, CUE HEROIC MUSIC. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Not if I have anything to say about it. EXT. WAYNE SCOTT'S MANSION - NIGHT Master Mind stands before the huge, Gothic structure in awe. MASTER MIND Such a dark place for one such as you. I wonder, underneath your noble deeds, what inner demons drove you to your endless crusade for justice? He walks to the front entrance. The double doors have been sealed shut with boards and nails. Master Mind begins to tear them off with his metal hand. INT. WAYNE SCOTT'S MANSION - NIGHT The doors opens. A beam of moonlight immediately pierces the darkness, forming an illuminated path into the heart of the manor. Master Mind enters. Covered in dust and cobwebs, the hall looks like a gigantic crypt. MASTER MIND Good lord, man. You've only been dead for two months. Master Mind walks, coming to a gigantic painted PORTRAIT OF WAYNE SCOTT. He stops to reverently admire the image of his fallen foe. 93. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) A disguise so simple, it's ingenious. No wonder I never caught on. Besides the Armani suit, there's nothing to hide the fact that this is the same person as Uberman. In the picture, he's even standing in the same cheesy, heroic pose with his fists on his hips. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Two lives, yet in both you were an ideal. Perhaps it was you who was victorious in the end, old friend. A BONGING sound suddenly bellows through the dark halls. Master Mind comes to a grandfather clock standing next to a gigantic BOOKCASE. On the twelfth bong it falls silent. Master Mind begins to slide it across the floor until he hears a loud CLICK. The bookcase slides into the wall, REVEALING A HIDDEN PASSAGE. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) I'll miss how predictable you were. The passage way leads Master Mind to a WORKING ESCALATOR. Master Mind gets off the escalator to see a long hallway with stone walls. He begins to hear strange SOUNDS, almost like MUFFLED SCREAMS, coming from a doorway at the end of the hallway. Master Mind starts walking towards it. As he steps closer, he begins to notice a light cracking through the bottom of the door. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Hello? Anyone here...besides..all the BIG MEN who are with me now? Nothing. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (to himself) What's the worst you're gonna find? (MORE) 94. MASTER MIND(cont'd) The man was a boy scout, not a serial killer. He opens the door to his immediate amazement. It's some kind of screening room. A PROJECTOR shoots an image onto A DIRTY WHITE SCREEN hanging on the wall. BEER CANS litter the floor; a table in front of a ripped-up couch is covered in discarded snack goods; and a Kiss Pinball machine stands in the far corner next to a CLOSED DOOR. Master Mind turns his attention to the action on the screen. SCREEN A woman dressed in a leather DOMINATRIX OUTFIT is whipping an overweight man lying on a swing-like device with his butt sticking out. DOMINATRIX IN FILM YOU ARE A WORM! She whips him three times. The man CRIES out in pain. FAT MAN IN FILM PINEAPPLE!!! PINEAPPLE!!! Master Mind's eyes are transfixed on the disturbing imagery. The door by the pinball machine suddenly swings open. WAYNE SCOTT, dressed in raggedy sweats, steps into the room carrying a CAN OF BEER and a bowl of JIFFY-POP. Master Mind cannot believe his horrified eyes. MASTER MIND Ahhhhhh! Wayne Scott is just as startled. WAYNE SCOTT Jesus! He drop his drink and snack to the floor. The two men stare at each other as they struggle to regain their normal breathing patterns. Wayne Scott walks over to the couch, brushes off a thick layer of chip crumbs, and sits down. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) What the hell are you doing here? 95. MASTER MIND I might just ask you the same question. I had thought I incinerated you. WAYNE SCOTT You scared the bejesus out of me. How'd you figure out I was still alive? Wait, how do you know my identity!? MASTER MIND Roxanne told me. As for your ruse, I forgot to line the bottom of the copper cage - Somebody pointed that out to me recently. Figured if they could do it, so could you. But one thing I couldn't figure out - WAYNE SCOTT The skeleton? Something I "borrowed" from a medical school a few months before. MASTER MIND A few months? How long had you been planning this? WAYNE SCOTT I always planned to retire - eventually. I mean, come on, you can't do this sort of thing in your fifties. You'd just look ridiculous. The pieces of the puzzle appear to be coming together in Master Mind's head. MASTER MIND I see it all so clearly now. INT. MASTER MIND'S HYDROFOIL - FLASHBACK Master Mind and his minions cover their eyes as the observatory explodes. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) You must have done it just seconds before the observatory exploded. 96. INT. OBSERVATORY - FLASHBACK Similar to what Titan did, Uberman bores out from under the cage. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) You bore out from under the cage. Then, using your Uber-Speed, - EXT. OBSERVATORY - FLASHBACK Running in a blur-like haze, Uberman screeches to a halt in front of some bushes. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O.) - you made your way to safety, where you had the skeleton safely hidden away somewhere. EXT OBSERVATORY - SKY - DAY Uberman soars high above the clouds. He looks down at the observatory, which is a mere speck in the distance. MASTER MIND (CONT'D - V.O) (CONT'D) Then you must have flown to a safe distance and waited for the explosion, then... Just as the observatory explodes Uberman aims and throws the SKELETON like a javelin. It soars through the air like a missile, tearing through the flames of the explosion, and crashing right into the windshield of Master Mind's hydrofoil. END OF FLASHBACK Wayne stares at Master Mind, clearly impressed. WAYNE Man, you ARE smart. MASTER MIND But why fake your death? Why go through all of it? You could have just quit. WAYNE SCOTT But the responsibility would still be there. (MORE) 97. WAYNE SCOTT(cont'd) A cop can retire and stop handing out speeding tickets - but people expect more from superheroes. I tell you, a volcano couldn't erupt in Zimbabwe without everyone expecting me to do something about it. I figured, out of sight, out of mind. MASTER MIND And Wayne Scott? Why did he have to disappear? WAYNE SCOTT Both of my lives have so much baggage. It's time for new baggage, you know? Master Mind's is absolutely flabbergasted. MASTER MIND I just can't believe it. This whole time you've been in hiding while a force of great evil is tearing your city apart? Wayne rises to his feet, waving his hands for Master Mind to say no more. WAYNE SCOTT I don't want to hear about it. That's why I don't have a television in here to remind me of all the things I SHOULD be doing. Hell, I could get a wife to do that. MASTER MIND There's a demented supervillain out there about to destroy our - I mean, your city. Wayne shrugs indifferently. MASTER MIND You're really going to do nothing? WAYNE SCOTT Good and evil have a way of balancing themselves out. If this guy is as bad as you say, somebody will rise up to fight him. It's just the order of things. You found me, didn't you? 98. Wayne puts a condescending hand on Master Mind's shoulder. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) I know it's hard, but you'll find someone else someday. He then starts walking to the door. MASTER MIND You're the only one who can stop him. Wayne turns around. WAYNE SCOTT Couldn't if I wanted to. Gotta a plane to catch. MASTER MIND A plane? WAYNE SCOTT Going to Barbados for a little change in climate. Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go pack. He reads the still defeated look on Master Mind's face. WAYNE SCOTT (CONT'D) You were a good foe. I'm sorry if I've let you down. If it makes a difference, you were the best foe a hero could ask for. MASTER MIND Not smart enough to come up with a full-proof trap. WAYNE SCOTT Well, you did almost have me when you figured out my weakness was copper. Now that made me sweat a little. Took me way too long to drill out from under that cage. MASTER MIND I got lucky. WAYNE SCOTT Anyway, it's a good thing for my sake that I could always count on you for an out. 99. MASTER MIND (suddenly confused) What do you mean? WAYNE SCOTT C'mon, we always threw each other a couple of bones. You would always leave me an out in one of your `full-proof' traps, and I'd never had you incarcerated at a penitentiary that you couldn't eventually escape from. It kept our little game going. Master Mind seems deflated. MASTER MIND Game? - Was that all this ever was to you? You know, I was trying my best every time I fought you. Those `outs' as you call them were unintentional. WAYNE SCOTT Oh. MASTER MIND I guess I was never really a match for you, was I? Wayne shrugs. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (thoughtfully) Then how can I expect to be one for Titan? A beaten man, Master Mind heads for the door, but stops and turns around. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) What about Roxanne? Wayne unleashes an exhausted sigh. WAYNE SCOTT I think we both got what we wanted out of our relationship. She got a career out of me, and I got plenty of other things out of her. But I'm ready to move on to greener pastures. 100. Master Mind's steel hand clinches into a fist at his side. Wayne's oblivious to this. MASTER MIND I guess I wasn't the villain I thought I was, and you...you weren't the hero I thought you were. He turns to make his exit when he suddenly sees ROXANNE STANDING IN THE DOOR FRAME. Wayne is almost at a loss for words. WAYNE SCOTT Roxanne! How long have you been... ROXANNE Long enough. Roxanne looks at Master Mind. ROXANNE (CONT'D) Don't you have something else you can go do? Master Mind leaves Roxanne and Wayne facing each other in silence. EXT. ANOTHER BAR - DAY Titan emerges with Brad and Frank. He's holding a BEER CAN and a bag of PORK RINDS. TITAN Alright, I want this whole thing to look ESPN professional, understand? A distant MECHANIZED RUMBLE can be heard. The noise rises, signaling the approach of something powerful. Titan and his crew walk out to the center of the plaza as the sound becomes almost deafening. A TANK TRACK as it moves over the street. We PULL BACK to see a whole line of TANKS rolling along the street. PLAZA From the five streets branching off the plaza, a dozen tanks roll toward Titan. 101. Titan turns to Brad and Frank. TITAN (CONT'D) You guys are about to get some good footage. I might need a little room, though. Brad and Frank look at each other and run to take cover behind a nearby building. Meanwhile, Titan nonchalantly sips from his beer as the tanks begin to surround them. FEEDBACK belts out of one of the tank's loudspeaker's, causing Titan to do a mock wince. TANK LOUDSPEAKER Titan, we have orders from the city of Metro to take you into custody. If you do not give your self up willingly, we will be forced to open fire. There's a long pause as no one says anything. TANK LOUDSPEAKER What is your answer? Titan takes a sip of his beverage and UNLEASHES A GIGANTIC BURP - The shockwave of which sends several of the tanks flying into a nearby building. Two of the remaining tanks close in on the villain. Both have him dead to rights at point-blank range with their massive guns. Titan sets down his beer, then calmly plugs a fist into each barrel. They FIRE. The FORCE OF THE BLAST SENDS THEM BOTH FLYING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS where they CRASH into nearby buildings. Titan bends down and pick his beet back up. TITAN (to beer) Miss me? Titan is suddenly bombarded by a massive barrage of machine- gun fire. The force sends him flying into the windshield of a nearby car. 102. He looks up to see an APACHE ASSAULT COPTER. It's nose- mounted GATLING-GUN is turning toward him. Titan gets up to his feet and looks down at his beer can. The bottom of it was blown apart in the blast. TITAN (CONT'D) Didn't mean to get you involved in all of this. He stared daggers up at the helicopter pilot just as the gun gets a bead on him. TITAN (CONT'D) Hey, man! You killed my suds! Titan throws the can up and slaps it with the palm of his hand. It flies with so much force it knocks the helicopter blade clean off. The rest of the Apache crashes to the street like a car dropped off a building. TITAN (CONT'D) That's one was for you, beer. Titan salutes the wreckage and walks away to find Brad and Frank still hiding behind the building. TITAN Guys, please tell me you got that last bit. BRAD HELMS Huh? TITAN You're kidding me. I give you my sexiest moves and you mean to tell me it was for nothing? BRAD HELMS We were afraid something might hit us. TITAN Looks like I've given the story of the century to the wrong man. He thinks about this for a moment, then it hits him. 103. TITAN Wait. What about that other reporter. Blond. Not so lumpy on the topper half, but killer legs. BRAD HELMS Roxanne. You want Roxanne. She's a much better reporter than I am. You want her. TITAN Where can I find her. FRANK We're actually not supposed to give out that sort of information. BRAD HELMS 1314 Mockingbird Lane. I believe she lives in a penthouse. TITAN You've been very helpful. He tosses Brad over his shoulder like a discarded ice cream cone. In the faint distance we see him splash down in the middle of the Metro City river. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master Mind, pacing anxiously as Plato and Da Vinci pack boxes. Obviously Master Mind is going on the lamb. MASTER MIND Hurry, we must be on our way as soon as possible. DA VINCI Master, why must we flee? MASTER MIND I told you, Titan is too powerful. If he's set on destroying us, there's precious little we could do about it. DA VINCI Where are we going? 104. MASTER MIND To another city, someplace with a shitload of superheroes to fight. We'll start over, we'll go back to doing what we do best. PLATO With our tails between our legs? The old Master Mind would never have let this comment slip by, but as we have seen, he's not the same man. MASTER MIND Plato, do you have a better plan?! Master Mind's cell phone rings. He turns in shame from his men and answers it. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Hello...Roxanne? INT. ROXANNE'S APARTMENT Roxanne paces back and forth on the phone. ROXANNE What are you going to do about Tighten? INTERCUT between Master Mind and Roxanne on phone. MASTER MIND Right now I'm packing, later I'll have a snack on the train. ROXANNE You're running away? MASTER MIND In a word - yes. ROXANNE You created this monster... MASTER MIND I didn't create this - the god's of irony did and I am eating the crow I so richly deserve. ROXANNE There's no time for self pity. 105. MASTER MIND I'll make the time. Roxanne can't believe what she's hearing. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) You can leave with us. You'll be safe. ROXANNE I'm not going anywhere. MASTER MIND Will you listen to me, no one can stop him. ROXANNE You have to try. The city needs your help. MASTER MIND I'm afraid you have an inflated opinion of me. ROXANNE What the hell's happened to you? The Master Mind I knew would never have run from a fight even though he knew deep in his heart that he didn't have a chance in hell of winning it. It was your best quality. You need to be that man right now...I... MASTER MIND What? ROXANNE (heart felt) I believe in you. Master Mind is taken aback, in a good way. But he catches himself before the words swell his heart. MASTER MIND Sweet words, but that man is dead. Please, Roxanne, just come with me. ROXANNE No...I guess you are a coward after all. Suddenly, there's a loud crash. 106. Roxanne looks up to see a huge hunk of her ceiling has been completely ripped off. Titan is flying above, holding the debris as casually as if it were a paper plate at a barbecue. He looks down at her and smiles. TITAN Man, have I got a story for you. Master Mind can hears Titan's familiar laugh from his side of the line. MASTER MIND Roxanne? Roxanne? EXT. KINGPIN BOWLING - DAY Titan is standing in front of the bowling alley, trying to decide on an appropriate pose for the occasion. TITAN What pose would be best? The corny folded arms thing? He demonstrates, arching his chin proudly in the air. TITAN Or maybe on the hips, like this. It's the classic Superman pose, only not as masculine. TITAN No, makes me look like a flamer pirate. As Titan starts to fix his hair in the window, Frank pretends to fix the lens on his camera as he speaks to Roxanne. FRANK (whispering) Shouldn't we be making a run for it right about now? ROXANNE (whispering) The guy can outrun bullets. I don't think either one of us is in that kind of shape. TITAN She's right, Frank. 107. Frank looks up, stunned that Titan could have possibly heard him. TITAN Also got super hearing. I promise not to keep the both of you long, but you'll thank me when this is all over. Frank and Roxanne exchange helpless expressions. INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - DAY Master Mind reverently stares up at the painted portrait of his father. MASTER MIND Dad, it's me... (he looks around to make sure no one can hear) ...Bubsy. I know we haven't talked in a while, and I'm sorry. It's been a little crazy trying to live up to a legacy. The painting's menacing stare seems to reach into his very soul. MASTER MIND Anyway...You raised me to be the worst that I could possibly be. And I've tried to live up to that as best as I could - even dropping out of dentistry school like you wanted me to. But I'm about to do something now that would really piss you off. I'm going to go against everything you ever taught me. I hope...I hope that maybe you'll look down at what I'm about to do as not so much a good deed, but more like the outright defiance of a hateful and ungrateful, son. If you could do that, then maybe - in your own little way - you could - for probably the first time - find a reason to be proud of me. He looks back up at the picture. Is it our imagination, or does the painting's stare suddenly seem even angrier? 108. MASTER MIND Well...either way, you're probably going to see me real soon. (calling over his shoulder) Men? Plato and Da Vinci suddenly stop what they're doing and look up at him. PLATO AND DA VINCI Yes Sir? MASTER MIND Stop packing. Our work is not finished here. PLATO AND DA VINCI YES SIR! TELEVISION A news report shows an aerial shot of Titan setting the giant ball down in the middle of a vacant city street. REPORTER We interrupt your regular afternoon programming to show you live footage of a potential dangerous situation in downtown Metro. The former hero knows as Titan is placing what appears to be a giant ball... INT. ABANDONED METRO CITY LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS Da Vinci stops in front of a television set, seeing the news report in progress. REPORTER Hold on...It appears our own Roxanne Ritchi is somehow at the scene. We now go to her with a live report. DA VINCI Sir, I think you should see this! CUT TO: 109. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY Roxanne is standing in front of a camera with a mike in her hand. ROXANNE I'm here with the cause of the destruction in Metro City. He has kidnapped me and a cameraman to chronicle what he refers to as the creation of a monument to his invincibility and overall "Asskickiness." He will use this giant concrete bowling ball to play the largest game of bowling ever using the buildings of downtown Metro City as his pins. Titan suddenly steps into the shot. TITAN And I'm going for the biggest strike ever. He leans into the camera. TITAN And you, Metro City, have a ringside seat as I cement my name in the anal of history. ROXANNE Annals. TITAN What? ROXANNE Nevermind. EXT. CITY STREET - MOMENTS LATER Titan holds up the massive bowling ball, lining up his shot. TITAN (in quiet professional bowler announcer voice) Like Tiger before him, a young savior has come to raise a sport from the ashes. Rookie Hal Stewart, a young man with a dream, realizing that dream here today, folks. (MORE) 110. TITAN(cont'd) One might click there heels and say "There's no place like home" upon finding themselves in such a fantasy. Well, Hal looks very much at home right were he is - with a ball in hand and glory in his sights. INT. METRO CITY LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS In the bowels of Master Mind's hideout, the HYDROGEN REACTOR glows and HUMS MENACINGLY. BACK TO SCENE Roxanne just stand helpless as Frank films away. ROXANNE Hal, I know everyone treated you like shit, but you don't have to do this. TITAN You're right. I don't HAVE to do anything. Isn't that cool? Titan lines up his shot. TITAN Here's one for the record books! Titan flies a few feet and rolls the ball down the main street. ROXANNE Her face is utter horror as she watches the inevitable destruction of Metro City. As the ball rolls - it demolishes everything in it's wake; cars, street lamps - windows shatter as the giant concrete sphere brushes along side buildings. TITAN He smiles in anticipation and uses "body English" to direct the ball. GIANT BOWLING BALL POV It's nearly halfway to its target. ROXANNE 111. She closes her eyes. Titan's smile fades. He looks around as if he hears something we don't. About two hundred feet in front of the first building a GIANT SPIDER WEB flies across the path of the ball, creating a defensive barrier. An enormous letter "M" is etched in the web's center. TITAN (CONT'D) What the...? The ball breaks through the web, but it's speed is greatly reduced. FRANK Look, what's that flying in the air? We suddenly see MASTER MIND FLYING OVER THE ROLLING BALL IN A JET PACK. He quickly pulls out his goo gun and starts laying down a path of sticky plasm to stop the destructive sphere's path. MASTER MIND C'mon, slow down Master Mind looks down to see the meter of the gun close to empty. MASTER MIND C'mon. The ball slows drastically then starts rolling to the side. It heads off an embankment and rolls harmlessly into a CANAL. MASTER MIND Gutterball! TITAN He's furious to say the least. TITAN YOU! Master Mind gives him a mocking grin. MASTER MIND Bowling? What other trailer park sports can you play? 112. TITAN You are becoming a real pain in my ass. I should have done this a long time ago. Titan lunges at his tormentor. Master Mind hits the BOOSTER on his jet pack and heads back toward the other side of the city with Titan in hot pursuit. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) (into walkie talkie) Plato, Da Vinci. Secure Roxanne, he's falling for it. ELSEWHERE A flustered Titan lands. He begins searching the city streets, but Master Mind is nowhere in sight. He turns upon hearing an EEKING sound to his left. Sitting on the ground is a CHIMPANZEE wearing a strange collar. It smiles at him. TITAN What the hell? From behind, Titan is immediately set upon by five more RADIO CONTROLLED APES. TITAN (CONT'D) GODAMNIT! The critters bite hop and hit Titan. As soon as he throws one off two more jump him. Titan breaks free and with his mighty breath blows them across the street into a fruit stand. With Titan out of their sight they begin to attack the fruit. MASTER MIND He's a block away frantically hitting his remote. MASTER MIND Shit! Stupid monkeys and their fruit. Titan flies away from the mad monkeys and lands to find Master Mind sitting on the ground wrapped in a long cape with only his head sticking out. 113. TITAN (CONT'D) No more games. Titan FIRES HIS LASER VISION AT MASTER MIND's CHEST. Master Mind pulls the cloak away to reveal a FIRE HYDRANT. Titan's EYE LASERS burn through the hydrant releasing a high pressure stream of water. Master Mind uses the last remote which dumps two tons of CEMENT mix into the truck. The crowd, police and news crews move in closer when Titan doesn't emerge. Master Mind drops his last remote and walks toward the truck cautiously. MASTER MIND Could it really be that easy-- - BOOM - The back of the truck explodes, throwing dust and concrete everywhere. When the dust clears we see and enraged Titan. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) Didn't think so. As the villain walks toward him, he pulls back his fist to give Master Mind the killing blow. TITAN If you don't mind, I'm going to punch trough your face now. Preparing himself for the end, Master Mind shuts his eyes as a SUDDEN GUST OF WIND BEGINS TO PICK UP. AS Titan goes to strike, a BLURRY FIGURE RUNS IN AND SNATCHES MASTER MIND OUT OF THE AWAY. Stunned, Master Mind begins to feel around his body as if to make sure everything's still in place. MASTER MIND I'm alive. He turns to see UBERMAN standing next to him. MASTER MIND Uberman? 114. The terrified bystanders start to notice the figure standing next to Master Mind. BYSTANDER 1 It's Uberman! BYSTANDER 2 Uberman's alive! BYSTANDER 3 We're saved! As the CROWD CHEERS, A confused Master Mind turns to Metro City's newly resurrected champion. MASTER MIND I thought. UBERMAN So did I. He puts a hand on Master Mind's shoulder. UBERMAN Thank you, old enemy. MASTER MIND For what? UBERMAN Showing me the error of my ways, Showing me I'm meant to be this city's savior, showing me that, while we can try, there is no running away from our true destiny. With that, UBERMAN IS STRICKEN BY A LASER BLAST, INSTANTLY TURNING HIM INTO A CHARRED HUMAN SKELETON. Master Mind turns to see Titan smiling with his STILL SMOKING EYES. TITAN Oh...Did I interrupt something? Master Mind turns to run, but, suddenly Titan is before him. TITAN Where you going, buddy? Titan grabs Master Mind by the collar and throws him across the street into a parked car. 115. TITAN (CONT'D) Welcome to Paintown. Population: you. Master Mind manages to stand on shaky legs. He seems in a daze, unable to move. Titan flies up in the air. TITAN (CONT'D) Time to finish this. With his fist front and center, Titan speeds toward Master Mind. He's like a human torpedo, coming in for the killing blow. Master Mind comes to his senses and puts up his hands. MASTER MIND WAIT!!! Titan screeches to a halt and stops just in front of him like an old Warner Bros cartoon. TITAN What? MASTER MIND Quick joke - What's the capital of Thailand? TITAN Huh - I don't know. MASTER MIND It's bang cock! In a sudden surge of strength, MASTER MIND PUNCHES TITAN IN THE GROIN. The once mighty man instantly drops to his knees, searching, with tears in his eyes, for the proper word to express the pain suddenly surging through his member. TITAN (CONT'D) Ow. Baffled, he looks up at Master Mind's hand and sees his gauntlet is now made ENTIRELY OUT OF COPPER. MASTER MIND So, I guess pennies are good for something. 116. He punches Titan in the face, knocking him out cold. Master Mind looks down on Titan with more than a little pride. Suddenly he hears something behind him. He spins to see the crowd making a strange noise - APPLAUSE. Roxanne comes up to him. The crowd starts to go wild and cheers for Master Mind. He's not sure what to make of it. ROXANNE Pretty strange, huh? MASTER MIND They're cheering for me. ROXANNE You saved them. You saved everybody. How's it feel? Master Mind looks at the smiles all around him. He begins to well up a little. MASTER MIND It's a...it's nice, you know? I usually don't get a lot of feedback. (whispering) But I also kind of caused all this. What happens when they find that out I was the cause of some of this? Roxanne looks at the cheering crowd, then back at Master Mind. ROXANNE What they don't know won't hurt them. MASTER MIND I guess that is all in the past. ROXANNE You're the hero. MASTER MIND I don't think I'd go that far...I mean I just...er... ROXANNE Master Mind? 117. MASTER MIND Yes? ROXANNE Stop talking. She kisses him. The crowd erupts in a cheer. TELEVISION The channel 7 he channel 7 logo zooms in followed by the title "Eye on Metro City." A picture of Master Mind smiling appears on the screen behind her. SAMANTHA SUMMERS Who's bad? Well, not Master Mind. It seems the former villain has done a career 180 after defeating Tighten and saving Metro City from certain enslavement. And here he is getting a full pardon by Metro City's Mayor, Steve Dent. Cut to ceremony on capital steps. The MAYOR is shaking Master Mind's metal gauntlet when it suddenly STARTS TO CRUSH HIS HAND. MAYOR Ahhh! Secret service men quickly start to draw their weapons and take aim at Master Mind. Realizing what's happening, he quickly lets the mayor's hand go and puts his arms in the air. MASTER MIND Sorry - Metal hand. Force of habit. He elbows the mayor. MASTER MIND (CONT'D) We're okay, right? Wincing, the mayor signals the men to put their guns down. WE CUT to video of Titan behind bars in a regular prison. 118. BRAD HELMS And what about Tighten? Is there a prison in existence that can hold this super powered menace? Well, the answer we found is no. A man in a white lab coat stands in front of Titan's cell just out of reach. PRISON SCIENTIST Of course normally he could break out of there anytime, but as you can see we've taken some special precautions. The news camera pans over see Titan in his cell wearing a copper JOCK STRAP with electrical cables hooked to it. Back to Samantha at the desk. BRAD HELMS What is a Hero? It seems never has that question needed to be asked more than it does tonight. We go to our very own Roxanne Ritchi, making her triumphant return to our news desk for the answer. Brad turns. The camera pans over to Roxanne who we now see has been sitting beside him. ROXANNE What is a hero? Well, there are many different kinds. There are those who hear a call, like the policeman or doctor, then there's the kind the public creates in their search for meaning and hope. Then, there are those who have the courage to change. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT A woman is being chased by two large thugs. They're gaining on her. She comes to a brick wall - a dead end. The thugs laugh. THUG #1 Hey, gimme that purse? 119. MASTER MIND (O.S) I don't think it would go with your outfit. The thugs turn around to see Master Mind, standing with his arms folded across his chest. THUG #2 It's Master Mind! Thug #1 draws a knife. THUG #1 So? It's not like he has any superpowers. Thug #1 puts his fingers to his mouth and whistles. Suddenly two more Thugs appear behind Master Mind. MASTER MIND I'm gonna give you a chance to surrender. THUG #1 Four against one. For a Master Mind, you're really bad at math. Master Mind throws a hand signal up in the air. Suddenly a giant robotic foot crashes down on the two men behind him. Thug #1 and Thug #2 drop their knives and raise their hands in the air. Master Mind looks up and waves. MASTER MIND Way to take out those two goons, guys! We see Da Vinci and Plato at the wheel of a gigantic robot. DA VINCI What two goons? The giant robot lifts its foot to check the bottom of it's sole. It KNOCKS OVER WATER TOWER in the process. The woman looks at Master Mind, horrified. 120. MASTER MIND (apologetically) Sorry, we're new at this. THE END

Equalizer is the standard middleware to create and deploy parallel OpenGL-based applications. It enables applications to benefit from multiple graphics cards, processors and computers to scale the rendering performance, visual quality and display size. An Equalizer application runs unmodified on any visualization system, from a simple workstation to large scale graphics clusters, multi-GPU workstations and Virtual Reality installations.

Automatically create hardware-accurate visual reference cards for your HOTAS bindings. Supports DCS World, MSFS, Star Citizen, IL-2, and Joystick Gremlin. Free and open-source.

Free 2D game development tool focused on the recent video cards for hardware acceleration and shader effects. It may be used to develop any style of game, such as top-down view RPG's, side scrollers and shoot'em up games. The main goal of this engine is to provide high-quality lighting, shadow and particle effects with an easy to use visual interface and a simple and direct scripting system.

Open Graph, Twitter Card, Oembed preview. Shows visual cards that mimic link previews in Social Media like facebook, twitter, vk and other sites that support link preview.

A custom skill for Claude Code and OpenClaw that generates professional Chinese visual note cards (视觉笔记卡片/信息图) as single-page HTML infographics.

Silly Sim Tracker is a SillyTavern extension that creates visual tracker cards from JSON data in chat messages. Perfect for RPGs, dating sims, or any scenario requiring character stat tracking. Features customizable templates, flexible data structures, and seamless integration with SillyTavern's macro system.

One-click turn any link into a visual web bookmark, and it looks Like Twitter cards or Notion web bookmark.

Worked on various OTT Dataset. Used the Query Editor for data cleaning and preprocessing. Displayed the visuals using a variety of plots, cards.

Convert Org-mode headlines and their contents into beautiful visual cards.

🪅 Visual learning aids for children with Autism Spectrum Disorder — Visual card generation, communication through cards, letterboard.

🎨 Free, open-source AI chat that renders responses as visual blocks — cards, charts, tables & more. Local-first, BYOK (OpenAI, Anthropic, Gemini, Grok), voice chat, web search, file uploads. All data stays in your browser.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because beAccording to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.You wrote that yourself? wow congrats dude, really, that's very cool. i just told everyone in my family about it, everybody thinks that's very impressive and asked me to congratulate you. they want to speak to you in person, if possible, to give you their regards. they also said they will tell our distant relatives in christmas supper and in NYE they will ignite fireworks that spell your name. i also told about this enormous deed to closer relatives, they had the same reaction. they asked for your address so they can send congratulatory cards and messages. my friends didn't believe me when i told them i knew the author of this gigantic feat, really, they were dumbstruck, they said they will make your name echo through years and years to come. when my neighbour found out about what you did, he was completely dumbstruck too, he wanted to know who you are and he asked (if you have the time, of course) if you could stop by to receive gifts, congratulations and handshakes. with the spreading of the news, a powerful businessman of the area decided to hire you as the CEO of his company because of this tremendous feat and at the same time an important international shareholder wants to sponsor you to give speeches and teach everybody how to do as you did so the world becomes a better place. you have become famous not only here but also everywhere, everybody knows who you are. the news spread really fast and mayors of all cities are setting up porticos, ballons, colossal boom speakers, anything that can make your name stand out more and see which city can congratulate you the hardest for this magnificent feaes don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And

A profile card is a visual representation of a user's identity. It typically includes a profile picture, name, bio, social media links, and contact information. HTML, CSS, and JavaScript are used to create and style these cards.

🎮 Welcome to the **Memory Matching Game**! This 🧠 fun and engaging Windows Forms application, built using C# in Microsoft Visual Studio 2022 with .NET, challenges players to match pairs of cards within a limited ⏱️ time while keeping track of their ❤️ lives and 🌟 points.

A Visual Studio Code Extension to Preview Adaptive Cards

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A feature-rich, responsive Anki template for interactive multiple-choice cards. Supports both single & multiple correct answers, randomizes choice order, and prevents over-selecting. Get detailed visual feedback (correct, wrong, missed) with a clean, mobile-friendly UI. Highly configurable via in-template JS.

Visual Cards provides a virtual DOM tree that can be rendered using DOM, Canvas or WebGL. Main purpose is to increase performance of web apps that runs on embedded devices such as Smart TVs.

Scenario cards to create test ideas in a visual way and cover more than just the happy path.

A repository to list and display Google Calendar Codewords with images and titles, organized in visual cards. Perfect for easy reference and quick use.

Web Cards with p5.js Author: Bocaletto Luca This project is a collection of examples designed to demonstrate how to draw on the web using HTML5, CSS3, JavaScript, and the p5.js library. It also shows how to create cards that combine artistic visuals with preset game stats—such as Attack (Atk), Defense (Dif), Health (HP), and Magic (MP)—making ...

Automating Visuals, tooling to build social cards in an automated way. A Gannett-McClatchy partnership.

A professional, high-performance tool to generate stunning, dynamic repository preview cards for your GitHub profile and READMEs. Featuring both a Live Visual Designer and a Dynamic SVG API.

The project is a mobile application of a card game, made for kids, in order to help them learn new information about animals, musical instruments and places of the world. We designed cards which will represent a questions’ category. The application will use the mobile phone’s camera in order to recognise the categories’ cards. When the app recognises a specific card, it will show a question of the respective category. The categories are: Animals, Musical Instruments and Monuments. After the player selects the answer, the game will show if the option is correct or not. Depending on the score, in the end of the game it will show the final score. The application is developed in Unity using Vuforia Engine and the scripts are in C# developed on Visual Studio Code.

A rewrite of the old MW2 Call cards addon with better internal code and visual design.

Productivity app based on visual cards and boards, projects and version tracking, along with calndar view and boards sharing

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9 Email Marketing Tips For Content Marketers Even “agnostics” regarding email marketing can't hash out the following evidence - the average ROI from this promotional practice is close to 3,800%. Measureless opportunities to scale up and relative cheapness, compared to other reaching-out channels, are the two reasons why the email marketing is fair-haired by businesses. However, this is not about the price and physical extent alone. The chief advantage is a better alignment of communication with customers. If you hope a certain content strategy brings desirable results, overlooking the quality of mailing messages will be a sorry pitfall. Always keep in mind that newsletters, welcome, retention, and other emails are not just a brand's facade - but a powerful tool for generating conversions. By joining sides of email and content strategies, you can come up with synergy from both. In this guide, we’ll cover a few recommendations for content marketers on how to write email messages that work. Tips for email marketing Segment your list Split the batch of email recipients into smaller groups based on chosen criteria, and mail distinct relevant messages - for each. You can use recipients' GEO, demographic characteristics, or purchase history to distinguish homogeneous clusters and proceed with the content planning. Segmentation is the basic premise for personalization, and if you still doubt why bothering about the latter - here are just a few numbers we took from Instapage: 52% of customers claim they do care if the message was tailor-made or not 82% of marketers say that mail personalization increases the open ratio custom emails have 41% more unique clicks than mass-produced ones. To avoid a fragmented approach, use data from CRMs, website analytics tools, and other sources to define segments. Concerning phrasings, a good idea is to create Buyer personas profiles. Thus, you'll be able to choose the appropriate message length and wording. Say, design a newsletter to promote paid subscription for an email validator service. You've decided to distinguish corporate clients based on their company size and determined the following groups: #1 - B2Bs and #2 - sole entrepreneurs. Possible messages for the two: #1. Our "XXL" plan is perfect for agencies and enterprises. One can add unlimited users and conduct up to 100,000 checks per month. #2. With our "S" you get 1,000 credits and 5,000 unique recipients - for only $33 per month. Plus - a 7-days free trial. Use interactive content The best content marketers know that interactive content came into vogue a long time ago. As to emails, here are the most common examples: CSS animated buttons If you include CTAs buttons (that we hope you do) - liven them up a bit. Add an animated hover effect, so that every time a recipient puts a cursor on a button, it changes shape, shade, color, or text. “Add hover to emphasise objects”, source This shouldn’t necessarily be something dramatic - add tiny accents that will yet grab the user's attention. starring “Add a star rating component to engage readers with content”, source Including ranking or reviewing widgets in the email body is one of the most working ways to engage the reader with the message. Ask recipients to assess your product or service with stars. Add the link to Google Forms if you want to receive an extended opinion on overall customer satisfaction. pictures' rollovers “Use animated images to describe goods better”, source The effect is eagerly used by the ones who promote online stores. Using The rollover allows to show goods from different angles or even play with recipients, if relevant. Take into account that this feature only works on desktops - mobile mail users will see the very first picture only. images carousel “Add pieces of text directly on images”, source If you want to enhance goods cards with descriptive content, say - price and shipping details, use a carousel instead of a rollover. As so, you can add more info pictures to the email body and, hopefully, convert more recipients into customers. a countdown “Countdowns work well for limited in time offers”, source Again, this type of interactive content fits the online shopping niche. Animated clocks amplify urgency and theoretically increase conversions. But it's important to stay extremely careful and not to sound desperate - otherwise, the newsletter will end up in the recipient's "Spam". Improve design The attractiveness of an email is something granted on certain terms, indeed. Not all emails need to be flashy or include expensive designs. However, there are some prevailing common trends in the matter. By following them, you seem to show the recipient that your company is moving in step with the times, and not stuck in the 2000s. Here's the shortlist from the TOP email design trends list that a 99designs provides - as of 2021: magazine-styled “Make newsletters to look a bit editorial”, source More and more newsletters tend to look like a centerfold from good old printed media. With a strict following to the "Less is more" principle - clear fonts, short phrases, HD-quality images with a few objects on them, and short CTAs. hand-made illustrations “Unique pictures create a distinct flavour of your brand”, source Tailored icons or sketchy images - whatever fits your mailing purpose, just make sure it's not too bright, contrast, or overloaded with details. Give preference to clean colors. skeuomorphic objects This is when a design resembles a real object. To see an example - just open a reader App on your smartphone. “A skeuomorphic bookshelf”, source HD photographies “If you operate in the luxury segment, do not skimp on email visuals”, source These are expensive content, but if you work in fashion or other chick industries - it may be worth the effort. animated content Yeap, we've covered this in a previous tip. single scroll “Looks especially good on smartphones”, source Place the entire email content, including buttons, on the endless-looking long frame. Focus on conversions Stay focused on what's your mailing purpose. Don't forget that everybody expects to see a good ROI from email actions at the end of the reporting period. Craft effective CTAs - perceive these not as a sole button with a "Download now" text or so, but as an entire sense of a message that you write. To create a captivating CTA copy, adhere to the below advices: include win-win propositions Even though you’re not providing a customer with a discount or cash refund at the moment, your proposition may include a non-monetary incentive. New arrivals, selection of the latest news, free copies, advice from experts - the only rule here is to offer what’ll hold in high esteem. trigger on emotions Don't long-windedly list benefits. Instead, simulate a life situation and show how your product or service can help. use several CTAs throughout the email Email body may be viewed in several scrolls, especially when via small mobile devices’ screens. If you add a call to action at the beginning of the message, a mere number of users will get back to it after finishing reading the content. Thus, you may lose potential conversion. Include several buttons throughout the email body, but don’t sound repeatedly - change calls’ forms and wording. Encourage readers to reply Driving recipients to reply is challenging yet able to be done. First, choose the proper writing tone. According to an extensive study of emails that didn’t get a response, the most preferable is a 3rd-grade reading level. “Too elementary or too proficient tone may scare away readers”, source Of course, you must apply this recommendation with an eye on the recipient. If you mail to a professor or a government agency, a “3rd-grade” rule isn’t applicable. But all else being equal - simplify the lexicon to the level a schoolchild can understand it. Another trick is to sound overall happy. Emails that are enhanced with positive emotions get 10-15% more replies, on average than neutral ones. The best manner is to choose a slightly warm tone. Exaggerated excitement may look weird and even suspicious, especially when reaching out to business partners. And don’t forget about courtesy. A rare person will respond if you address him or her with a hair-raising “To whom it may concern” phrase. Make it personal Personification shouldn’t be confused with personalization. The second is rather about mailing fitting content from a commercial perspective, while the first term - about addressing the recipient as a one-off personality. Personal emails start with the recipient’s name - and no other way. They include references to the user's interests or past actions. For example, if your tourist agency’s client is interested in island vacations - you shall approach him or her with respective offers. They also shall contain personalized promotions, if any. The best way to expand this approach on hundreds or thousands of recipients is to launch trigger-based email campaigns. Create delivery scenarios for different segments or stages of a sales pipeline. Then prepare a fitting sequence of relevant content - for every single scenario. To give a human face to mailing, one can practice greetings, as well. Birthdays, state holidays, anniversaries, a new status in the loyalty system - there are a lot of examples of what one may congratulate the customer with. Keep your emails out of spam folders It is better not to launch mailing at all than to use an untrustworthy emails’ database. The risks are much higher than a slew of undelivered messages - from harming a sender's reputation to being banned by mailing systems. So it's better to stay proactive: tidy away broken, misspelled, temporary, or other worrisome emails from the database - either manually or with the help of software collect a valid email address only - through email finders avoid spam-trigger words establish a double opt-in validation set the correct mailing frequency. Make sure your emails look clean and crisp Newsletters shall afterall bring revenues - whether you want it or not. But in a bid of quantity, don’t lose the overall content integrity and sense: a subject line, pre-header, header, email body, and calls shall be consistent with one another the copy must be of the proper size; although the length depends on many factors, stick to an “ideal” interval - 50 to 125 words if can, don’t attach too many files or links to external websites - mailing filters are suspicious to these adapt the layout to fit smaller screens - nothing looks worse than broken email elements when you open it on mobile. Wrapping up It doesn't make much difference whether you create mailing content for personal or business purposes - these email marketing tips will serve both. No strains here - the recipient’s interest should be at your forefront. If you can hook him or her with the content by using tricks we've covered, you’ll never fail with enough conversions.